How to Disappear

1) The Timeline

As always, thanks to @crazykuroneko for directing me to the tweet / IGN article where Rolin Jones explained that The Auction takes place 1.5 seasons in the future. Because that's what helped me realize something very important:

The Auction takes place AFTER S4 (QotD), and AFTER Akasha is already dead. Ostensibly, we'd be in S5's TotBT era (Raglan James shenanigans).... HOWEVER. ☝️🤓

Thanks to Akasha's monologue, we KNOW AMC is doing The Twins. Which means my GOAT Mekare is definitely coming, the one who'll take over as the Host of the Sacred Core; the new Queen of the Damned after she eats Akasha's brain & takes Amel into herself.

I've explained before that Amel, the source of Akasha's power, has been more or less asleep/dormant inside Akasha, due to how spirit possession works in Anne Rice's lore. Two spirits CANNOT both be consciously active in the same body at the same time; one WILL take over and render the weaker spirit inert.

☝️ And this is where I think AMC's gonna play with the S5 timeline. I suspect that they will MERGE TotBT with the PL Trilogy, and make Amel "The Voice" during the time of The Auction--when Lestat records The Failures, "a season and a half ahead." 👀

Because at that time, MEKARE will be the queen.

I think AMC realized that there was a MIGHTY big gap b/t the books, where Amel didn't start using The Voice as soon as he realized that Mekare was a TERRIBLE host after QotD (1980s); and only started resisting her in the PL Trilogy (20teens), some 40yrs LATER. So instead, I think AMC's expedited the process, and makes Amel start reaching out to vampires as The Voice as soon as Akasha's dead--and Lestat is MOST vulnerable.

Post-QotD (S4), Lestat's already guilt-ridden cuz he helped Akasha almost destroy the world. He's "totally friendless" because of all the damage he's caused. People are demanding to know WTF "you were thinking about, and how this happened."

The Failures were recorded 1.5 seasons after S3 for the AUCTION WINNER (whom Lestat has CONSISTENTLY referred to as HUMAN: x x x); he is talking directly to "The Privileged Person" he assumes will win the auction and hear all of his stuff. Meaning he's planned the Failures in advanced of the auction itself, and designed the recordings as something personalized for the winner, ("I like you already~!").

And I think in classic Lestat fashion, he doesn't WANT to take accountability. He WANTS to blame someone else for his bad actions. HE NEEDS a rationale, a reason, to cope with but also explain or even EXCUSE why he made such a terrible decision to fall under Akasha's sway and help his abuser perpetuate those cycles.

We see him do it CONSTANTLY with GabriellA and the incest bomb (esp. since we know Daniel/DM put "the dirt in the sandwich"). "It's different for vampires, that's it~!"

And we KNOW that GabriellA's influence over Lestat is directly tied to AKASHA'S interest in HIM.

As such, I don't think that the Failures were made FOR Amel (the winner of the Auction). I also don't think he's directly talking TO Amel. I think it's more complicated; that Amel is ENABLING these thoughts in Lestat, as The Voice in Lestat's head as he talks to himself. We see Lestat constantly going-off topic and rambling in the Failures, and I think he's having multiple conversations with multiple listeners:

The Auction Winner (presumably a human, less likely a vampire)

Himself--as editor ("Note to self: Edit that out in the final version")

Himself--as a lonely man amusing himself ("I'm rambling a bit here. What am I trying to say?")

Amel/The Voice ("I digress")

+ The Documentary (often talking to Daniel directly; aware that the Final Cut will be released to the public, that he hasn't even seen yet as of recording The Failures--"I've seen a rough cut")

+ The Rerecorded Album (specifically designed For Vampire Ears & The Great Conversion), that Pitchfork critically panned

Hilariously, 3 & 4 might very well be the same thing, depending on what direction AMC chooses to take Amel's own level of sentience post-Akasha; and his relationship with Lestat; because Amel LOVED book!Lestat; and Lestat was very codependent on Amel during his loneliness in the PL Trilogy (which, again, I think AMC's merging with the TotBT era in S5).

But one thing I'm STRONGLY unconvinced by is the notion that there's been any indication that Lestat was POSSESSED--esp. not in S1, before Akasha was even dead yet. 🙄😒

S3 still has 2 episodes left to change my mind--or not.

2) "Amelian Anger" & Possession Is Abuse Apologia

☝️ That is a LIE. He DOES know "what possessed me that night," and he SAID why, to both Louis AND Claudia.

This stupid fandom keeps clutching their pearls--Oh, how DARE Louis share private details of Lestat's abuser Magnus~! 😩 The same Lestans who hate Louis for making Lestat a "mayonnaise B-Movie monster big white abuser," being too effing dumb to realize that Louis was HUMANIZING Lestat in the 1x6 Magnus Scene, by letting Lestat explain himself--at CLAUDIA'S demand--to understand WHY Lestat got so triggered during the Ep5 Fight that her beat the breaks offa them: Cuz he was SCARED that Louis was gonna ABANDON him.

He was PISSED at Louis, he had been for YEARS, and he SNAPPED.

Lestans WANT Lestat to have ZERO agency; to be the most passive creature on God's green earth--He's possessed by Amel, so he has zero impulse control & nothing's his fault, "I COULD NOT PREVENT IT".

Meanwhile Lestat admitted that he CAN control himself--A MILLION times, even. 💯 His violent vampiric "nature" does NOT override his AGENCY, and the choices he deliberately makes to NOT do harm.

And apparently, even in the midst of a nervous breakdown, The Muses STOPPED him from doing anything violent to Larry.

And I even said I suspect the Muses are triggered BY Akasha waking.

The Lestans would rather focus on Lestat's hair being different and face not being bloody as "proof" that the Ep5 Fight's Courtyard Scene never happened, where Lestat DRAGGED LOUIS BY HIS EFFING JAWBONE & MOPPED the flagstones with his blood. Meanwhile it's CRICKETS when in S3 Lestat confirms that HE DID THAT ISH.

And he even admitted that he did it ON PURPOSE during his apology.

AMC shared some of the 3x5 script in the After Dark, showing a bunch of deleted lines, and even in the midst of Lestat's "Amelian Anger," he's busy APOLOGIZING as Akasha rants about ABUSE/IPV/DV/etc.

Lestat warned Claudia that "the vampires out there are vicious"--but Hell, the vampires right there in that house are vicious too! 💀 Lestat was scared that Claudia was dragging herself & Louis to certain DEATH in Europe; but he couldn't COMMUNICATE that fear to them without being a total a-hole about it. And Claudia clocked his tea.

Louis DEEPLY empathized with Lestat--(funny how Lestans & so-called Loustaters refuse to empathize with LOUIS)--but CLAUDIA DGAF about Magnus, and thought Lestat was LYING the whole time. 💀 Cuz she's VERY similar to Lestat, and she KNOWS him in dark ways that LOUIS refuses to acknowledge--she KNOWS Lestat stays lying thru his effing teeth--and S3's been confirming since 3x1 that she was RIGHT!

Claudia's parallels with LARRY prove that she was right about Lestat. He OFTEN gets triggered by things that have NOTHING to do with Amel, and everything to do with his hurt feelings, his trauma, his painful memories. In order to avoid confronting those troubling thoughts & turbulent emotions, Lestat lashes out at the nearest irritant/victim, unleashing his NASTY effing temper on people.

Oh, so was AMEL possessing Lestat in 3x5 when he went ballistic on Larry after being bombarded by painful memories of Louis & GabriellA abandoning him--Murder Night & Blood Marriage--after ge got triggered receiving Louis' phonecall asking for help after going radio silent for months ("Someone tried to murder me~!"/ "And it did not feel like 9 days~!"). GabriellA said it best: GROW UP! 🙄

Was AMEL possessing Lestat in 3x1 when Larry stole his violin solo & refused to play the tambourines, and Lestat was finna KILL him right there on stage--before The Muses STOPPED him? 🙄

Was AMEL possessing Lestat whenever Claudia clowned TF outta him? 🙄

As such, I am FAR less convinced that AMC is using Akasha's blood as some sort of shield/excuse for uncontrollable violent abusive behavior; as some sort of Berserk Juice that turns Lestat into frikkin Jekyll & Hyde--as Gothic Horror as that admittedly very much is, LOL. 😅 I deeply suspect that AMC WANTS us to take it for granted that just because Lestat attributes his abusive behavior to "the metal sun in my veins" that that's the Objective Truth.

I think Lestat's carrying the "burden" of Akasha's Blood as the red herring of The Abuse Show about how generational trauma & abuse perpetuate; rather than abusive behavior as the red herring of The Vampire Show the way so many (Lestans) want it to be; so Lestat can be absolved of his wrongdoing. 👀 Because if Lestat's possessed by Amel or her blood drives vampires crazy--then EVERY vampire is crazy and NONE of their actions are their own fault, since they ALL have her blood in them, just in different proportions--she's the MOTHER OF ALL VAMPIRES, DUH.

3) My Father's / Maker's Temper

IMO, the CHARACTERS are rationalizing Akasha's Blood as an excuse (specifically: Lestat himself), because they themselves don't know/understand the limits of Amel's influence over Akasha--let alone they themselves--and because this is both the Unreliable Narrator Show AND The Accountability Show.

I've been doing the My Maker's Temper miniseries specifically because of what Lestat said at that racist AF Trial:

In Pt1 I focused on the parallel b/t how in 3x2 Lioncest strung up the abusive Marquis de Lioncourt by his intestines; and how in 1x3 Louis strung up Alderman Fenwick by his intestines--because both the Lioncourts and the Alderman represent different iterations of "the wolves" Loustat each wanted to kill in order to try liberating themselves from the oppressive systems they'd suffered under.

In Pt2 the parallel is Lestat & Louis both lashing out at the hallucinations dogging their steps (Magnus for Lestat, and Lestat for Louis), that each represent the deep traumas they're carrying and struggling to confront/process.

In Pt3 the parallel is the deeply manipulative ways that both GabriellA and Lestat exert control over their paramours (Gabrielle over Lestat on the Devil's Road; and Lestat over Louis with Antoinette)--which Sam Reid himself described as "toxic lovebombing" MULTIPLE times. This parallel is arguably the most important, because this is a character trait/flaw Lestat possessed BEFORE he ever met TWMBK and drank Akasha's blood. It's something he inherited from his PARENTS; it's what THEY taught him, based on how THEY treated him and raised him and taught him how to behave in order to survive in that toxic AF family.

Like I said in my convo with @theartofdisobedience, the fandom's been acting like Lestat's temper has anything to do with Akasha/Amel, and not precisely what he said it was: the result of the horrible upbringing he had under his father the Marquis, where disobedience--or any mild inconvenience--was always met with insults, violence, and corporal punishment ("Break his legs!"); a trauma response his Maker Magnus; and the dogtrash relationship he has with his disgusting mother GabriellA. 🤷‍♂️

That was part of Lestat before he ever became a vampire. He had a personality disorder & a bad temper BEFORE he ever drank Akasha's blood--or was his crashout when the phonograph record scratched on New Years 1900 not proof enough about precisely what Sam Reid said about Lestat's "volatile temper"? 🤨 THE BLOOD IS BAD HERE, but it doesn't have to be supernatural to still be PART of Lestat and who he is and what he needs to--and CAN!--CHANGE about himself.

4) Vampiric Bioessentialism: Nature vs Nurture

[DANIEL] How does your average Jo Mo vampire keep people like you in line? Unspoken threats? [REAL RASHID (A Talamascan Opp, BTW)] The threat is always there. He could kill us both now. But he doesn't. They are peaceful beings. [DANIEL] They drain and disappear us. [REAL RASHID] They have a biological imperative that is in conflict with human morality. But what is that morality other than rules agreed upon? [ARMAND] Thank you, Rashid. A romantic answer to your question.

Last but certainly not least, let's get into the "biological imperative" that compels vampires to kill...or not.

I recently had a lovely convo with @theuniverseisaholigram, and it darn near brought a tear to my eye--I promised that I'd put your ask in my Amel/Akasha meta, because you were COOKING! 🎯👌❤️

All I have to say, I've already said in my Nature vs Nurture tag, but ESPECIALLY in the book analysis I did on Les Morts ont tous le Meme Peau (The Dead All Have the Same Skin) by Boris Vian, the book Louis read in 2x3. I BEEN said that Rolin (and ofc Anne Rice) DISAGREES that vampires are proof of bioessentialist assumptions about the amoral nature of evil controling people--human or vampire alike.

Anyone who's actually been paying attention to the larger messages Rolin Jones has been peppering across this whole effing show should've realized by now that he's been using a Gothic Horror story about vampires to talk VERY poignantly about IRL society; about the MONSTERS IN US, as humans with SOULS, who rationalize our misdeeds by attributing everything to "EVIL;" the evil nature in us because of our parents, or the Devil, or mental illness, or trauma, WTVR. And how that monster is constantly at war with THE DIVINE IN US--"THE GODS ARE US." In each of us is the capacity to do evil, AND good--if we so CHOOSE to learn & grow & change.

Louis PROVED that vampires can rise above the biological imperative to be sadistic killers--he was vegan for DECADES; and was met with nothing but severe ridicule & vicious mockery by Lestat, the Coven, and the Trial audience that lynched him for DARING to not CONFORM to draconian Old World dogmas about what a proper vampire must/mustn't do--how to do vampirism The Right Way or the highway. And he's not the only one; even on the Talamasca spinoff, Jasper described Vesel the Vampire, who swore off human blood to only drink the blood of chickens--in the 13th century!

Claudeleine PROVED that vampires can rise above their genetic origins--Claudia didn't even want Louis to be Madeleine's Maker, because she HATED the idea that Madz might inherit whatever effed up genes were clearly in Lestat's bloodline that made her & Louis so bad. But Madeleine was THE GOAT:

Lestat's Blood had NOTHING to do with whether Louis might ruin Madz by turning her intyo a vampire; passing Lestat';s bad genes down to Claudia's companion. They "found the X," and grew their own (savage) garden planting flowers over the corpses of the people they killed; turning something ugly into something beautiful. "Flowers growing from the dead. Cold things becoming warm." 😭❤️

Sp yeah, if I'm wrong, and Akasha/Amel really has been out here puppetting TF outta Lestat this whole time, then it's dogtrash writing and I'll flame TF out of AMC every chance I get.

But because Rolin IS a sadistic gaslighter playing the long game, with plot twists every other season completely flipping the script on things we THINK we know & understand; I think it's premature AF to leap on Lestat talking about Akasha's blood making him do horrible things as some sort of gotcha! to "prove" that he was NEVER the "mayonniase B-movie brute big white abuser" y'all can't effing stomach in this hypocritical AF "Let Problematic Characters Be Problematic~!" fandom. 🙄😒

TL:DR: We shall see, but I'm unconvinced AF, fam 🤷‍♂️

The effect of GabriellA's negative influence over Lestat has become increasingly obvious as of 3x4 & 3x5, as she's clearly manipulating & controlling TF out of him; as a parallel and also a foreshadowing of how Akasha will sink her claws into him in S4 (QotD) as her Champion/ Agent of Chaos as well.

But POSSESSION was NEVER a factor in book canon wrt how she controlled Lestat--let alone AMEL--and it is extraordinarily disingenuous of any so-called book reader to lie or twist the narrative to pretend that that was EVER the case.

YES, Akasha exerted her Dark Gifts over Lestat to bring him to heel (literally kidnapping him, a la Magnus); to prove to him that she could destroy him & all of his loved ones with ease if he refused to COMPLY. Because as Santiago said: "YOU ARE ALL COMPLICIT. REPUGNANT. AND APPALLING."

At the end of the day, book!Akasha had to use her WORDS to get Lestat to do what she wanted. She had to TALK him into AGREEING to play by her rules. She did not PUPPET him like a marionette on blood-red strings. NO, he was not with her consensually or of his own desire to destroy the world, but he DOES have Free Will, Agency, & Autonomy; and he said precisely why he worked with her in QotD: TO SURVIVE.

1) Lestat's S3 Characterization: "Man of Action"? 🤨🤔

This is one of the weirdest things I've been noticing, how AMC's started waffling on exactly how much "action/agency" Lestat actually has, when they then turn around and blame everything he does on everyone else around him, rather than letting him actually OWN any of his effed up behavior himself--the SAME thing everyone cussed LOUIS out for.

I made a rant about this weeks ago, cuz I'm seeing the way Lestat in these episodes keep dancing around the subject, and the shysty ways the fandom (esp. the Lestans) keep tryna control the narrative to make it seem like Lestat's suffered more than Christ and everyone who criticizes him is wrong.

2) Mommy Dearest: Blaming GabriellA

@theartofdisobedience Thank you for telling me about Sam Reid's Nerdist interview!

AMC has really twisted the knife to make GabriellA the master manipulator who's shaped & molded Lestat for her own benefit (hoping he'd DIE fighting the wolves rather than turn into the next cabbage--almost kinda taking NICKI'S characterization when he hoped they'd fail in Paris?); rather than helping him reach his full potential for his own sake, despite the clutches his father/brothers kept him in.

And him learning how o be a master manipulator from her is exactly what Sam Reid said previously about Lestat getting his oppressive/overbearing "toxic lovebombing" traits from her, too.

So while I'm not AGAINST them saying Lestat's flaws are cuz of his mommy issues, what I don't like is anyone tryna use it as an EXCUSE; that Lestat CAN'T be blamed for his own choices/actions, just cuz his mommy made him do it; or he wants to make his mommy happy so she won't abandon him again, when he's literally 265yo jfc.

So yeah, IMO GabriellA makes sense--he needs to cut that evil heifer loose ASAP.

3) Akasha & the Amel of it all

My MUCH bigger problem is this right here:

This made me LOL. 🤣😂

Unironically, yeah, it looks like they're gonna pin all of Lestat's anger issues on Akasha too--I have the blood of Akasha in me~!, which is why I lost my effing mind and beat the hell out of Louis and Dropped him from the ozone layer! 😭

I deeply suspect that everyone's confusing Akasha's Blood for Amel Possession. I reckon that Lestat's more a child that doesn't know his own strength, so his angry temper is more dangerous when he gets violent BECAUSE it's so easy for him to do serious harm to much weaker vamps like Louis & Claudia. But people (read: abuse apologist Lestans) are acting like it's more that Lestat's in The Exorcist, being controlled by a literal demonic spirit that MADE him choke Claudia & Drop Louis, when that is VERY hard for me to believe.

Cuz Amel lives in ALL vampires. When he's AWAKE, he could control ALL of them, anyone he wanted.

And as for drinking Akasha's blood, Lestat is NOT special. Marius & Pandora & Avicus & Gregory & Seth and a whole bunch of vampires drank her blood too--ain't none of them ever went around beating the hell out of their loved ones when they got mad. 😒 Marius & Pandora were a gigantic failmarriage yelling & cussing & fussing, and they never put hands on each other like that, despite being pumped full of Akasha's blood, so...? 🙄 Akasha frikkin loved Pandora--likely more than she ever GAF about Marius (men, bleh! 🤮)--so if Amel in Akasha's blood would've possessed anyone, it should've made Pandora yeet Marius off of Mt Vesuvius a LONG time ago! 🤣💀

So IDKWTF AMC thinks they're doing--or what the fandom thinks AMC's doing--acting like Lestat's temper has anything to do with Aksha/Amel, and not precisely what he said it was: the result of the horrible upbringing he had under his father the Marquis, where disobedience was always met with violence & corporal punishmernt ("Break his legs!"); and a trauma response his Maker Magnus. 🤷‍♂️ Oh, I was being possessed by the demonic ghost of antiblackness (aka: Amel), cuz I only ever get outrageously violent against my Black daughter and Black husband, meanwhile everyone else is miraculously spared from my violent wrath~! 😩

4) Passive & Active - Lestat vs Louis

THANK YOU.

What I find SO interesting about this whole weak AF stupid AF Blame Akasha/Amel for Lestat's Anger Management Issues spiel is how Lestat ain't NEVER done to anyone else what he did to Louis--how come Amel's only possessed him ONCE? 🤨 Oh, I can perfectly control his uncontrollable temper every other time my buttons have been pushed:

I sat on my useless arse rather than going after Bruce myself these past 77+ years--maybe if I killed him decades ago, his Fang Gang wouldn't've existed to clap my cheeks in that hotel hallway (karma's a wench I tell you!)

I sat on my useless arse during the Trial rehearsal (no Fire Gift to torch those mofos when I had the chance!)

I sat on my useless arse when the coven lynched my husband & daughter right in front of me

I sat on my useless arse while Louis eradicated the entire Theatre coven SOLO DOLO (at only a FRACTION of my big age)

I sat on my useless arse when GabriellA had LOUD sex with Jarda during my RECORDED interview

I sat on my arse writing a diss track about Armand rather than beating the hell out of him when I had the chance--but yeah lemme just flaunt my naked body in front of him in this blood shower, yeah, this is me getting "even" with my daughter's literal killer I sure showed him! 😤

Mr. I HavE tHe bLoOD oF aKAsHa In Me disgusted me more in 3x4 than he has in a mighty long time. It's right up there with The Trail & The Drop. Ain't no way my child's killer would ever get off scott free with just a Hey Mickey song and me ruffling his hair dancing around him half naked in terrible drag makeup. Best believe I'm either throwing hands, or he better not EVER get within 100 feet of me or it's gonna be a problem ISTG.

Which is why Louis gets all the flowers from me, cuz at least he's DONE something. 🤷‍♂️ Hollow & unsatisfactory? Unfortunately. Selfish? Definitely. But valid? Absolutely. 😈

*sigh* I'm tired.

TL:DR: We shall see? 🤷‍♂️

Highkey, I can't tell if ALL this bullcrap is actually:

AMC deliberately woobifying TF out of Lestat so everyone can love Lestat as the Gary Stu MC and hold hands singing kumbaya--

OR

It's LESTAT sitting in a vat of self-victimization, where HE refuses to take accountability for eff all, cuz he's so effing ashamed of his constant & repeated FAILURES, that he puts the onus on Tom Dick & Harry, anyone but HIS DANG SELF.

I feel it in my gut that my theory about Purple Shirt Lestat is gonna be (directly related to) the moment where he's FINALLY honest about himself; facing ALL of the ghosts of his past and actually getting some real character development for once in this annoying effing season.

I feel like every episode's just been spinning its wheels wasting my time as Lestat spirals over all kinds of stuff without actually processing any of it. 3x3 was the closest we got to some actual DEPTH with him--the smarmy avoidant shtick got real old real fast; esp. as he just keeps lying & lying & lying and I'm TIRED. IMO he's been insufferably UNLIKABLE all season, which is wild, cuz my favorite Lestat episode was 1x6, right after he beat the breaks offa Louis & Claudia! 💀😅