DnD mood blog

so there's this exhibitionist who's only aroused by being looked at naked & who's extremely turned off by seeing other people naked. he can't solve this with a blindfold because he needs to visually witness his nudity being witnessed by others in order to get off but if anyone else whom he can see is naked, it just ruins things for him. his quest to bust and his aversion to the flesh of the Other leads him down an erotic road paved with selfish intentions until, by some stroke of misfortune, he stumbles into the home of a petty bureaucrat holding an orgy. nude but fleeing from the nudity of others, the exhibitionist streaks through narrow halls, down winding corridors, and finally escapes into the Mirror Room. and he sees himself, naked, for the very first time. two hours later when the orgy arrives at the Mirror Room they find a warm corpse on the floor with no reflection in the mirror. panic! screaming. fainting. chaos. the party's over, the police are called, somebody puts a sheet over the mirror because the lack of a reflection is upsetting people. week later the coroner is able to identify the body of the exhibitionist with reference to dental records and the cause of death is ruled to be sudden cardiac arrest. which is a relief because no one at the scene could even identify the body, everybody forgot what he looked like. no one could remember anything. a whole orgy detained for questioning. you can imagine the inconvenience. anyway, that's why we keep the dustcloth over it

as a completely cis dude, I would press this button immediately, without question. There are a lot of things I would do for money, but shit I'd do this for like 20 bucks... maybe less?

She said with all too much confidence

A DAY!?!?!?

people are cowards about fantasy settings and not including some things in em. I get the aversion to not wanting too modern of tech, however dwarves would invent and fucking love metal folding chairs

They invented them as a weapon first then later discovered their use as a seating option

Fortified combat tree

Joint Dwarf/Elf fortress.

Legolas and Gimli’s townhome in Valinor

@normal-horoscopes growing their winter coat

“They’ll never find the body” is a boring threat. Threaten that they’ll never stop finding the body

They’ll be recovering pieces of you for at least three months. You will be alive for at least two of them.

That’s terrifying

*stumbling in covered in blood and clutching my sword* girls night! girls night! *hacking up blood* we're having girls night!

The protagonist in a piece of action media politely greeting their opponents before beating their asses is objectively a funny thing to do, but for some reason it’s ten times funnier in French. I don’t think any physical comedy bit has ever gotten me laughing harder than “bonjour!” *punch*

My favorite variation came in Snatch, where it was in the opposite order: man in the middle of delivering just an unholy beating stops to answer his phone with a cheerful “Bonjour.”

every single person you know has something in their life and past that is probably worth collapsing to the ground in an uncontrollably sobbing heap over, so be nice to each other and tell good jokes