Raven~☠︎

I have poison running through my veins instead of blood. When people talk about their loving family it makes me feel disgusting to a point where I want to throw up. Growing up hearing I'm loved by the evil monsters I share home with is the reason I'll always hate love. I can run till my knees give up and I'll still find their ugliness in my blood. I live in pills hoping the poison in my head from their legacy can be maimed so I can at least exist. I can't keep my head straight, I can't keep any friends, I can't even handle my own body weight. Every breath I take is a battle I hate, life has never ever been fair, yet I smile through it all hoping I don't make it back home when I cross any roads. Everything I love is destined to be crude, nothing new.

I try so hard and then I fail,

Of course, it's going to be my family that puts me six feet under so that they can let me down again for one last time.

I've betrayed my own self for the bits of love they gave me in alms.

I've raised myself within the melancholy that would even break spirits of grown ups, I've buried people who are alive more than the dead ones. I'm a shrine of all the things I survived, with no preacher or visitors. I was born with a broken heart, and I learned to live with a wounded soul. Everything I am even in fractions is just mine. I've never found home in other people cause I am my home.

I'm 22, too old to not know things, too young to know everything. It's hauntingly funny how I can feel so much and then nothing at all. I make the same mistakes I did when I was 12, I'm so full of love and yet the same petty kid who hated everyone with not a broken family. I still forgive people who've done me wrong and still cut parts of me to punish myself. I can fight even with blood in my mouth, yet I crumble if someone raises their voice too loud.

There's a NEW EPISODE OF 911 OUT?

I remember being a kid and playing Resident Evil with my brothers and realising this is the coolest shit ever . I got obsessed with the entire storyline and saw Leon for the first time, I realized.. hey, I like him, and that is my friends how I realized I'm attracted to guys.. he was my bi or straight awakening idk cause I never liked a guy before.

There's no one I hate more than who I become when I'm in love.

and one day you wake up, you forgive your mother it's her first time living too, you forgive the hurt she puts you through. She was a defeated girl. She was just a child, too. She didn't get to have her dreams and was caged by people she trusted, too, and just like a wounded dog, she bit the hands that were meant to help her.