Three lights in the dark.

Val is somewhat aware that she can, objectively, be called pretty. But being aware mean jackshit when the person that should be closest to you dedicates most of your life to putting you down and refusing to acknowledge you as her own flesh and blood. It does dig a deep hole in your mind - one that it's difficult to crawl out.

Where it anyone else wearing her face, I'm pretty sure she'd consider them beautiful.

But when presented with a mirror, it's difficult not to see things that Mother considered monstrous;

hands that are just a bit too big in comparison to a skinny body turn into monstrous claws with sharp talons, the lively purple fires in her eyes make her think of predators stalking you in the night; inhuman and terrifying. Hair that needs some brushing (and maybe some oil) looks like coarse strands one would find on some beast. Horns that never fully recovered from being cut down so many times looking now like gnarly roots of a dead tree. Skin in the color of hematite making her stand out even among tieflings, just another reminder how *wrong* she is.

How she doesn't belong anywhere.

And honestly one of the sadder things about this is that, on face value, people would disregard her behaviour as vain or fishing for attention while the self-loathing is so deeply rooted that she genuinely stays away from mirrors.

Because she does not want to see the reminder of why her childhood suddenly changed; why her dad started disappearing at months at a time, why the household quieted whenever she entered a room.

Why the hateful comments started.

Mother never accepted her magic in the first place, to have her child grow horns and a tail; to have to deal with the implications that their bloodline was tainted.

Val is never sure how her life would look were the circumstances different; there's too many variables. Would she have her magic still or was it connected to her ancestry? Would she still be kept away from people or allowed to interact with other children? Would she meet Moira and Annun?

Would they befriend her or treat her as a spoiled kid from Upper City?

Would she be able to make her own life, or still be locked into a different cage - one of expectations and customs forced upon her by the society?

But sometimes, sometimes she feels like losing her current life - having it never exist in the first place - would be worth it, if it meant her father would stay.

To wish to be erased from existence on the off chance the little girl still inside her may have a better chance at life, at love.