teach me youre ability
noise dept.
Not today Justin
hello vonnie
π©΅ avery cochrane π©΅
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Mike Driver
macklin celebrini has autism
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Claire Keane
Today's Document
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icyghini twinkie
I'd rather be in outer space πΈ
The Stonewall Inn

oozey mess
Fai_Ryy

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@thatninjaunderyourbed
teach me youre ability

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Like if you think he should be allowed a sausage
new mychart message! aw damn....doc says my reality and existence lab work was wayyy off so she's referring me to an Ontologist
Exact context of this scene btw

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Story Time:
Working in retail is really fun, and the times when major fuck-ups happen, they can be either anxiety-attack inducing, or make it possible to get through the rest of your god-awful shift with a smile depending on the customer. My all-time favorite absolute fuck-up is as follows:
This kind woman is just doing her thing. She scans her membership card from her keychain. The register beeps to acknowledge the scan. We continue as usual. Neither of us notice right away, but after Iβve scanned a few more items, I hear a very quiet, βUm,β from the lady, very polite. I look at her. She is looking at the screen of my register, blinking. I, too, look.
And lo and behold. There is a charge of over four-thousand dollars ($4,000) worth of garlic bread staring us in the face. There are no words for a minute. Weβre justβ¦ in awe. How did this happen? How the hell did this happen?
She didnβt even have garlic bread in her cart.
I sputter a partial apology - I was incapable of forming actual sentences in the moment - and try to void the garlic bread. Since there was no garlic bread to scan, I try to manually remove $4,000-some from this transaction.
Well, the registers donβt like it when you try to void off more than five dollars ($5) from a transaction, so naturally it pings my manager for confirmation, but sheβs not by her pager.
At this point, both myself and the lady are justβ¦ dumbfounded. Sheβs not even mad. Iβm not even all that embarrassed. Both of us are just looking at the screen. Thereβs a bit of laughter, but itβs mostly justβ¦ confusion.
I have to call through the whole store for my manager on the intercom because sheβs not answering. She shows up, ready to override and void it, when she too, sees what exactly is being voided.
βWhatβ¦ did you do?β
βI genuinely. Have literally. No. Idea.β
She voids it, and I go to finish the transaction and tell the woman her total (minus the garlic bread). My register pings. It tells me that she hasnβt scanned her membership card. Odd. I distinctly remember her doing that. The woman goes to scan her card again, and I notice that her library card is stuck to her membership card. I tell her gently, and she separates the two and scans her card.
My manager, hovering nearby still, sees this and says, βI think it mistook the barcode of her other card for garlic bread, and the remaining digits were read as the price.β
And thatβs when the laughter really came over us. There were no hard feelings at all. In fact, the woman was incredibly glad that the receipt still showed the garlic bread and the voiding of. I will remember it until the end of time, my only regret in the entire situation being that I didnβt take a damn picture, because she has proof and I donβt. But I swear to God it happened.
TDLR; Library Card Charged $4,000 of Garlic Bread.
thatβs just how valuable library cards are. each one is worth at least $4000 of garlic bread
A picture is worth a thousand words, a library card is worth $4000 worth of garlic bread, if we can figure out how many words the average library card can check out at once, we can probably work out a picture-to-garlic bread conversion here, too.
been repeating this in my head all day
honest to god fill my uterus with these, how many will fit? how many until its noticeable? lets make a game out of it! get them big ass balls into me
hi
You should all be beaten like piΓ±atas
dont do that bro the fucking boba r gonna shoot out
just fucking imagine the noise . the fucking Schfpblort.
Solenne, one of Leandra's older cousins β οΈ
While she's living her unlife to its fullest, she hopes she can get Leandra to let loose as well, since she's the only necromancer who doesn't smile.
accidentally thought about words of radiance for more than 20 minutes and relapsed
Kaladin is so funny, this man is ALWAYS scheming, but all of his plots are like, planning how to be nice to people and encourage them π
Asking Bridge Four 10 hours in advance to cheer for the other bridgemen at dinner so they would feel included⦠smh

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βMIZUβ Contemplates Fragility and Impermanence in a Poignant Dance with an Ice Puppet
Not to stick my dick in the wasp nest here but I just walked past a white dude with the longest crustiest dreadlocks I have ever seen in my LIFE and if I do not exclaim my bafflement and horror *sonewhere* then I'm afraid I will lose control of myself and gently ask him Why
Like we've GONE OVER cultural appropriation for fucking decades now, that shouldn't be news to anyone, and anyone capable of a google search should be able to grasp that the "vikings" didn't ACTUALLY DO THAT
But even if you boil away the "I don't believe appropriation is a real thing" people and the "well hmm you weren't THERE" people and even the "it's not that deep and it looks cool" people, there should still be the irrefutable fact that STRAIGHT HAIR DOESN'T LOCK?
Boy out here has KNOTTED MATS that are nearly transparent blond at the roots and fucking BROWN the other 70%
Son that's DIRT
What the FUCK
Gold, Silver, and Bronze!π₯π₯π₯
Now as sisters and with a complex sibling dynamic.
Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.
He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"
"What?"
He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"
"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."
Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.
Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.
wasting disease available as a print || ko-fi

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Ice beam is low-key a sauceless "standard" move for its type
Earthquake? That is THE ground move. The ground quakes beneath you.
Surf? A giant wave of water that your pokemon can ride. A thunderous tide. Invokes the ocean.
Thunderbolt? Arcing flashes of electricity zap you.
Flamethrower? Fire breath, fire throwing, an arc of propelled flame is classic.
Ice beam? It's a beam. Of ice. Could've been a gust of frigid wind, or a frost incursion, or being entombed in a glacial slab, but noooooo it's a beam. Of ice.
yes but it goes foowaaaa ting ting ting ting ting ting and i really like that part
Fuck you're right post cancelled
Yes, Really!
Huge thanks to Noir for working with me to produce an actual real life Monster Researcher Eclair Plushie!!
Follow this link and you can preorder one for yourself! https://noirclothings.com/products/pre-order-noir-series-089-eclair-plushie
Honestly I don't think I could have even imagined something like this when I started drawing this little goofball years ago!
Thank you all so much for your support!