Apparently I'm a Goblin Shark

(emerges 3 hours later covered in blood) i figured out what emotion i was feeling

gotta love people immediately backpedaling when they realise that there are Consequences To Being Mean

I genuinely believe that part of why it has become so normalized to be openly callous and evil in politics is that customer service culture has trained affluent people that they can treat everyone they consider beneath them however they want and still be treated kindly.

this is actually super fucking smartass of them

Reblogging as this is so important everyone! My mum had breast cancer and that shit is not nice so please check yourself ladies and gents! 💕💕💕

Always a reblog. 💋

I will forever reblog this when I see it because its so important

A tragedy at sea ended with a spoiled rich kid/teen and a poor kid/teen marooned on an island. Years pass; they're found. Both have become hardened, scarred survivors. Their families struggle to reconcile the people they knew to who they are now, especially since they're now fond of each other.

larry is just like me

love the trope where an authoritative side character pointedly pretends not to help the hero they’re not supposed to be helping by saying shit like “well I can’t just let you wander around up to the THIRD FLOOR where you could just FIND THE THING YOU NEED in the FIRST ROOM ON THE LEFT. And under no circumstances should you USE THE KEY FROM UNDER THE MAT. I wish I could help you, but I CAN’T. Now excuse me, I need to take this phone call for the next 37 minutes EXACTLY.”

My doctor did that for me once. I had to get an expensive brain scan and she was like ‘do you smoke?’ and I was like ‘no’ and she was like “well that’s a pity because the government will pay for this expensive brain scan if you had been a smoker so - do you smoke?” 🤣🤣🤣 I was like ‘yes’ and she’s like ‘oh wow then this scan will be free’

holding back an amused "I love you" after someone makes a really good personal comment or joke is like making the move for your sheathed blade and stopping midway through

this is a normal comparison indicative of healthy relationship with the concept of love

sports bra and boxers can be lingerie if you're enlightened and impure of heart

ROTI BUAYA MY BELOVED

Today I learned that cuttlefish experience REM sleep, and that it makes their skin flash random colors. This is the cutest thing ever.

I am absolutely delighted to learn that electric eels dream of kicking ass.