arriving somewhere but not here

Maybe I don’t have anxiety. Maybe I’m so scared all the time on account of it all being so scary.

a soul like mine doesn't come around often but i'll let u figure that out

ok I endured it. now what!!!!!!!!!

today’s date is the 3rd? what’s next, the 4th? the 5th? the minor fall, the major lift? 

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

obsessed with the concept of being haunted by yourself

maybe you were someone you hate now, and that person remains a cold hand on your shoulder that says you do not deserve this. perhaps you had to destroy yourself and become someone else to escape something worse - but now they hang over you like a shroud. you abandoned me. everyone did, but you - you were all i had. and you left me to rot. maybe the life you could have had was taken from you - and isn't that a death of sorts? - and now it shadows your every step. you keep moving further away, but it follows. there's a ghost after you, and it wears a frighteningly familiar face.