This is a post about trans men and how transmisogyny does affect them (but in a transfeminist way). Also this is not centering men in my conversations on transfeminism, I just constantly post about women and will give one moment to talk about men.
A lot of the inherently transmisogynistic rhetoric that spews forth from the transmasc community is really driven by self hatred ngl. Like let's not pretend that a trans man saying "yeah haha sex and gender are different and you can never change your sex" isn't saying something horrible about himself in the process even if he follows it with the "-which is why trans women are dangerous".
What do you mean sex is immutable? Do you think that your entire identity is cosplay? If you do, then that in itself is the direct result of your own internalized transphobia and transmisogyny justifying denying your own sexual identity to get one up on trans women. If it isn't cosplay, then do you simply think you'll never be a "male"? That I'll never be a "female"? That these are things we can chase but never embody? Even with modern medicine that can alter the human body in all ways to match a sexual identity besides gene editing (and even that's on the cusp of being tackled).
This idea that having manhood in your life intrinsically ties you to every criticism of men on a personal level is rooted in liberalism, frankly. By positioning the female as the oppressed on the virtue of sex prior to transitioning, it creates a framework in which you must either acknowledge your own maleness upon transitioning and recognize the privilege that comes with it and work to undermine it, or you must cling to femaleness and completely discount any modicum of indication that you have priveleges over trans women.
Almost every trans men I've ever met who has been a transfeminist and recognizes his role in transmisogyny and the dismantling thereof, has been a leftist, not a liberal. Because liberals believe in faux-justice politic that centers suffering as atonement rather than rehabilitation and growth as atonement.
Liberal trans men believe they must suffer to atone if they receive power that allows them to hurt others, so it's simply better to never acknowledge that power even at the cost of your own self love and affirmation of identity.
Leftist trans men on the other hand believe that, every person has misogyny in them and their role as oppressor or oppressed is complicated and by being a man, he intrinsically has power over transgender women; but that is not something he views as a thing to be punished, but rather weaponized against transmisogyny to protect trans women.
Many of the trans men who cling to the idea that they'll never not be female do so because they were raised into the idea as a child/teen/ young adult that assigned femaleness makes one the oppressed class, and often either ran in terf circles or wer ambivalent to terfs at best. That's why you can see many of these men either outright reject the idea that they can ever hold power and focus on "afab only spaces", misuse the word terf to describe trans women who are transfeminist because they don't understand what biological essentialism means, or worse, continue to run in terf circles as a trans man. The last of which is unfortunately a semi-common occurrence especially in the UK.
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Mfs will be making great points about being trans but then ruin it by uttering the word "Theyfab" and now I have to kill you. It's the rules. It's just how it is. I have to kill you now. You don't respect all trans people so I have to kill you. It's the rules. I have to kill you now.
“Transphobes just think trans men are confused girls while they want trans women dead” hey what do you think they do to confused girls? It was only a generation or two ago when they stopped shoving ice picks into our fucking skulls.
Do trans men oppress trans women? If yes, how and how can I avoid doing that? Sorry if it's a stupid question
Hi! Very interesting concept you've given me...
I want to start first by saying: if you have privelege in a society and you are an oppressor class, there is no real way to "opt out" of that system - but you CAN do something about thay privelege and unlearn bigotries, like any other group. It should be more them-focused less you-focused ykwim? Better framing for everyone.
And wether or not trans men "opress", is a different story... lemme boot up the ol' nuance machine..
First of all let's define oppressor! Is it someone in a class priveleged above you? Able to enact axes of oppression against you? Or, do we mean someone who has the social capability to oppress? People will disagree on this.
.
If we say "trans men cannot be oppressors since they are transgender, giving them no social power because they are oppressed under the patriarchy" I wanna bring up 2 points.
The first being "what about cis women?" They are oppressed under the patriarhy, misogyny is real, yet they are priveleged and oppressors. Are the complexities here deeper than just "has social power entirely/has none"? And if so, how nuanced is it? Does it change anything?
The second thing I wish to bring up is as a priveleged party you DO have social/political/etc power, maybe not the equivalent to a patriarch, but you DO have power over others.
Mmm... I think that gets into an additional nuance of "systemic, social, political, etc" privelege, and what we define oppressor as there too. Is an oppressor only someone who has political or systemic power over you?
There is a very large discussion here.
....
And as you may notice I have been hinting at the idea trans men have privilege over transfeminized people, (which inherently is a different conversation), because that's truly what this question should be. Now I am unsure if I am the best to explain this because I feel like someone who more muses, asks questions, posits things occasionally, not an authority figure (go see @/the-whipping-girl or like @/transsexual-feminism or something to ask for/read up on what trans-misogyny is better than I can ever explain it.)
But I will try!
So, in a lot of transfeminist theory for decades people have been discussing transfeminization under the patriarchy and how anyone who is not transfeminized has the ability to enact trans-misogynistic violence against us.
What IS trans-misogyny?
Well, Julia Serano once described it as oppositional sexism (as it pertains to us so transphobia) intersected with traditional sexism (femininity is somehow lesser)..
"But don't other trans people face this?" yes, but arguably to a lesser extent and in an entirely different way. The transfeminized/trans-misogynized class in the patriarchy is inherent to someone "transitioning into femininity" so to speak..
Of course, that's the shoddiest explanation ever and I wouldn't take to heart - I'd find someone who knows how the fuck to describe this and the theory around it and take their shit with more grains of sand - but at least you have an idea of where to look discussion-wise..
-==
"But how does any of this make us privileged?" Well, you see, the basic idea is that by not being trans-misogynized you are privileged, and you hold the societal power over trans women to use this bigotry against them. And more than any "trans person is transphobic" situation.
It's been explained to me like this:
Patriarchs (societally-cis men)
->misogyny->
Societally-cis women
->Transphobia->
TME societally-transgender people
-> trans-misogyny->
TMA people
===
Now, to explain this,
a patriarch holds privileges on the axes of misogyny, transphobia, and trans-misogyny.
A societally-cis woman is, of course, oppressed by misogyny. Now, cisfeminism will have you believe these are the only categories - but we know better! We, as transfeminists, know this class is privileged on the basis of trans-misogyny and transphobia! YES, you can be privileged and oppressed by the patriarchy in different ways. [some fake-cis-feminists claim gender-based oppression is all the patriarchy pertains to, and transphobia is its own separate axis that relates none. AKA "trans men oppress cis women cuz men - but they oppress trans men cuz they're cis" - this is just wrong. On the face of it. Not how reality works.]
TME trans people are oppressed by both misogyny and transphobia - now many non-transfeminists stop here. They think "cisfeminism + a class for trans people! This is the patriarchy's set-up" - but for a while transfeminists have been theorizing about it differently. THIS is where trans men are, and, as you can see, it isn't saying "privileged on basis of transphobia/misogyny" BUT it IS saying privileged on basis of trans-misogyny. THAT is what people are discussing - even if they don't use this model.
TMA trans people, oppressed by misogyny, transphobia, and, of course, trans-misogyny.
===
Now, some say that transphobia inherently carries misogyny as an axis of oppression, so they'll describe this more-so as subtypes of misogyny beating down on more marginalized groups under the patriarchy (as best as I explain it). This is why you may see people who discuss things like this say "you don't need an intersection of transphobia and misogyny for people who aren't TMA" - because the misogyny came free with the being abused by the patriarchy.
The key difference is that when people say we need words like isomisogyny or to let trans men into trans-misogyny - there is no analysis. No understanding of theory. Just "they have this and I feel like I should too" <- mainly because people centre their validity in how oppressed they are, causing a bunch of fakewokes who cannot admit privilege at all. Even outside of this context.
So, a transfeminized person talking about theory will be met with ignorance and insecurity. There is a specific reason why trans-misogyny was coined, and the theories built off of it was all with reason. There is no "I feel like I should have this" - there is no coining on twitter for the fun of it - there is just actual active discussion. Transfeminists are not concerned with the tumblr hub-ub of it all.....
Which is all to say: the difference on why we get our own "special" word and other ones seem to always be riddled with flaws is because we don't see it as a special word. We just discuss with each other, and new words come when they are needed. So, unless someone wants to read up on actual theory and then make their own special literature for other groups (which has never happened).
IDK I feel I gotta include that because every time a transfeminist mentions theory there's always complaints "why don't I get my own?" - but the issue is the thought pattern of that in general. It's not that you're not allowed, it's that it's never been about being unique and affirmed in your own oppression! So if someone tries to respond to me explaining this theory on why transfeminists might believe in trans men's privilege with "what about me?" - what ABOUT you? WHY do you need your own term? What's your analysis? How does it fit in with the current analyses being discussed? <- Think that to yourself.
^ SORRY FOR TANGENT. I JUST KNOW HOW IT SOUNDS TO MENTIION TRANS-MISOGYNY THEN MENTION HOW A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T BELIEVE YOU NEED A WORD FOR THE MISOGYNY/TRANSPHOBIA INTERSECTION... BUT TRUTHFULLY, IT'S IN THE THEORY, YKWIM? OPPOSITIONAL SEXISM X TRAD SEXISM AS IT AFFECTED PEOPLE WHO ARE SOCIETALLY-TRANSFEM IS SOMETHING, YOU GOTTA START WITH SOMETHING. that's why these beliefs form, i think.
==========
I really disassociated and forgot a lot of what was supposed to go here I'm sorry. I had more to say on the model and different modes of thought..
....
NOW, it's important to reexplain nobodies arguing against the oppression of trans men, and if you have a societal force that needs a name that isn't better described as misogyny or transphobia - let us know! Do that work! Make that theory! But until then, this is what we got lol.
Now, "trans men are privileged", how is this different than cisfeminism or general fake-feminism?
The difference is, we are acknowledging that societally-cis and societally-trans people have different placements under the patriarchy. The patriarchy doesn't care for gender labels; the fact the enforced classes are man and woman are because they want you to conform to that. They want you to be born M or F and conform to the role it enforces. A gender-identity-based patriarchy does not exist.
[this is also why transfeminists say "you are oppressed for being trans not being a man" - because it's true - your gender labels have nothing to do with it. it's oppositional sexism. Transphobia. Your patriarchal class is because you are trans solely.]
In the transfeminist mindset, though, you are not privileged for your labels, but your societal standing as a non-transfeminzied person. Because you don't experience transmisogyny and benefit from that, you have privilege.
This is also different from the TERF idea of "transitioning into privilege" - being trans inherently makes you not privileged! Nobody is saying you become a patriarch. I know it may feel that way if someone says "male privilege" for trans men - which yea, I think the term will always cause confusion, but people who say that mean this as well.
Any transfeminist view about trans-misogyny and TME privilege will be based on this idea that you are privileged for not being trans-misogynized. No, not that you have "female-privilege" or are the equivalent of a patriarch.
===
Okay, now I have deliriously explained the concept of WHY people may say trans men have privilege, let's talk about what we are really here for: not understanding what it means to be an oppressor, or discussing theories that pertain to TME privilege while I stumble through trying to explain the thought processes behind them, we are here cuz you asked a probably bad faithed question that if answered in earnest would always lead here:
Unearning trans-misogyny.
And to unlearn trans-misogyny, we need to first understand what it is. How it functions.
Trans-misogyny comes with a lot of things,
We are hypersexualized and fetishized, we are seen as sex dolls, we are seen as less-than for our femininity, we are forced to strive to perform womanhood as best as we can even if we are GNC or have a complex experience due to being seen a pervs and invasive cis men if we don't (even allies uphold this) - we are held to an impossible standard, people literally wait for us to fuck up to go "see ? I was affirmed in my inherent distrust!",
i am literally too sick to continue this post which sucks cuz this is what the post was always going to be and it'd ve a really cool and loong explaination and sruff but im so sick
go read up on transfeminist lit and lurk in our discussions . be educated.
i think you're a little uncharitable to trans men and other TME trans people here. it's a pretty good post to be clear (especially for one made while sick and delirious lol, i hope you're alright!), but i do think there is a lot of intelligent analysis about trans men's oppression that has come out on this website in recent years that is perfectly compatible with transfeminist analysis, it's just accompanied by a lot of unhelpful argumentation between trans folk that can be difficult to sift through.
most of the theorising that has come out historically about trans oppression has been written by trans women, which has given a pretty clear picture of transmisogyny but less so for anti-transmasculine oppression (as manifested through elevated rates of sexual abuse, infantilisation, etc) and i think the disparity mostly comes down to epistemic injustice.* but to suggest that the lack of academic discourse surrounding specifically anti-transmasculine oppressions is evidence that there is no such thing as transandrophobia / anti-transmasculinity i think is a little unfair. do lots of TME trans people need to unlearn transmisogyny? yes!!! but i think that their own issues can just be ignored.
side note: a book that i read recently that does touch on a couple of the above topics re. transmasculine people was DILF: Did I Leave Feminism? by Jude Doyle, as well as his Medium posts. it's not perfect and by no means is it a complete analysis, but it did leave me feeling a little clearer about it than i did before.
*epistemic injustice: when a group is less able to produce knowledge regarding their experiences than another, e.g. trans men struggling to enter this particular academic space (this is such an oversimplified explanation, Miranda Fricker has a whole book on it that you can read lol)
when they think we’re mutilating ourselves to the point that they pose as SRS doctors and literally mutilate us for their agenda. cis ppl don’t forget this
topsurgery.net is a site with lots of before + after pics categorised by surgeon. I encourage everyone with other resources on srs surgeons and their results to share them here, for mtf/mtx surgeries too please
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i think lots of you folks on the internet are doing TMA/TME discourse wrong. lot of transfeminists on this website are using this terminology in a way that isn’t helpful, whereas many anti-transandrophobia advocates block anyone who defends the use of this terminology, which means that everyone is talking past each other. so! let’s go again.
transphobia is a system of oppression that exists to punish the gender transgressions of people who transition. since patriarchy likes to think of the two sexes as discrete, non-overlapping entities (see Julia Serano’s definition of oppositional sexism) anyone who falls outside of the category of cisgender and gender-conforming is punished by transphobia.
under patriarchy women are thought of as the lesser of the two sexes. the existence of people who transition to a comparatively “lower” gendered status presents a particularly pressing threat to the existence of the patriarchy, and so patriarchy punishes these transgressions in a way which we call transmisogyny.
the existence of transmisogyny as a systemic impulse does not negate the oppression of non-transmisogynised trans people. the position of trans people who begin as perceived females and transition to a “relatively higher” gendered status are particularly vulnerable to corrective sexual assault and will be rigorously infantilised by patriarchal forces in order that the boundaries of womanhood remain strict and discrete. this is the oppressive system we call transandrophobia.
the terms “transmisogyny-affected” and “transmisogyny-exempt” exist as an inclusive alternative to just saying “trans women and transfems” or likewise. these terms should be used inclusively by default — inclusive of nonbinary people and intersex people who want to describe themselves as such.
transmisogyny overlaps with a lot of other gendered oppression systems in terms of the tropes it uses (for example, casting a demographic as inherently violent, especially sexually) but it is important to remember that it is not the same as misogynoir or intersexism or any other oppressive force (although it’s possible to experience those things and transmisogyny at the same time).
if you are someone who is trans, but is not the primary target of transmisogyny, please please please try to be aware of how it affects TMA people e.g. hate campaigns, bullying and pedojacketing in queer and trans spaces. if you’re a transfeminist, make sure you’re being a transfeminist inclusively. all in all, listen to other trans people, they always have interesting things to say. <3
re. the internet is a machine that destroys nuance: the other side is not a monolith. don’t be out here like “transfeminists / transandrophobia believers think this,” there is an infinite amount of positions that someone could conceivably take on these matters. for one, you can be a transfeminist and believe that transandrophobia / anti-transmasculinity exists.
this also applies to name calling: TRFs, transandrobros, theyfabs and whatever else you guys come up with to avoid empathising with “the other side” is anathema to having good discourse and one step closer to dehumanising people outside of your in-group and killing your movement-building momentum.
vague posting about how xyz group think so and so about your group gets you nowhere near productive and is just a way to build resentment within our community—the trans community—without building any kind of mutual understanding.
one thing that irks me about "just do diy!" when i talk about how expensive it is to get on T legally is like. i don't hear that with any other illegal/controlled medications. i take concerta for my adhd and have not once heard someone tell me to just go get street adderall
I haven't posted on this blog in a while but I thought this post could use some nuance, especially given the misinformation that I saw in the comments. I agree that statements like "just do diy" is reductive and unhelpful. However, statements like "if DIY is an option for you (based on your location, your awareness of and willingness to mitigate potential health impacts, and your means) then you ought to consider it," are very important.
DIY testosterone is not comparable to taking street adderall. As far as I know (I do not take DIY T but have trans guy friends who do / are looking) the main source of DIY T in most countries is cis bodybuilders. I would assume that bodybuilders are a community who are generally more careful about what they put into their bodies than most recreational drug dealers. Also, depending on your location, DIY T might not be illegal. I live in the UK, where androgenic steroids are not illegal to possess for personal use. I assume that the situation in the US is different.
Now to address some misconceptions I saw in the comments / reblogs.
DIY HRT is potentially more unsafe than prescribed options but if you are well aware of the potential health impacts and make sure that your supplier is chemically tested by a third party, you may be able to mitigate most of these health impacts.
DIY T is generally cheaper than prescribed options (this is of course location and context dependent).
Most DIY users do not synthesize their hormones themselves, they source their hormones online. This might be from clinicians in other countries or from domestic informal outlets.
Needles are easy to acquire online on Amazon or elsewhere or, if you live in a mid-to-big sized city, for free from needle exchange or harm reduction programs.
People telling you to "just do DIY" are probably trans people who don't want to write out paragraphs as I have just done rather than feds. AFAIK the US federal police are preoccupied with other things right now than infiltrating trans communities online to spread misinformation.
DIY T will not give you STDs unless you use a contaminated source or contaminated needles, which will not happen if you are careful.
Yes, DIY HRT is more accessible for trans women in many circumstances. That doesn't mean that it is impossible to access as a trans man.
Finally, the steps to take DIY are not so overwhelming as you might imagine. If you are aware of your own health and live in an area where it is accessible as outlined above, you too can take DIY HRT.
Other trans people, please do not spread misinformation about what DIY HRT does or does not do. I haven't sourced any of the above claims because I do not have infinite time (if you pester me I'll give sources and resources later) but a quick Google search and a probe around Reddit or the like will lead you to many, many online resources detailing how to do DIY and the associated risks. Stay safe and love and cherish the other trans people in your life, online or offline, if you have them.
the trans community is amazing. if the state of things is getting to you, whether it's internet discourse or the outside world, please remember that it's okay to take a break. talk to some of your trans friends you haven't spoken to in a while. listen to them infodump. ask them about their interests. things can get ugly sometimes, especially on the internet, but never let anyone make you believe that we cannot find comfort in each other's company.
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I think as trans feminists we should really be raising the question of who feminism is for. Is feminism a movement to liberate women, or is it a movement to liberate everyone who’s oppressed by patriarchy? Because I think there’s a pretty compelling case for the latter category (which includes all trans people) that isn’t really being made within transfeminist discourse.
And to be honest transfeminists on this website are well behind on this one.
I need everyone to go read the introduction to Feminism Against Cisness by Emma Heaney. It answers this question extremely effectively if you can parse it's meaning.
I just read the chapter and on the whole I think it’s extremely effective and Heaney writes very well. However, there’s a paragraph that I do disagree with (although I may just be misinterpreting it) that I want to draw attention to:
Men, both cis and trans, can be penetrated and can even invite penetration. But to be a man is to be able to escape association with penetrability as an organizing structure of your extra-sexual social life, as a public quality, let’s say. A person might even endure the most symbolically laden form of penetration, rape, but not wear a social identity that is haunted by rape, a disjointed gender experience that creates its own devastating emotional legacies.
pg. 7 in my edition (from transreads.org)
I think this betrays quite a stark misunderstanding of trans men’s experiences. Although trans men are male (psychologically, often biologically), their social identities (as I take it to mean, the way they present to the world and the way the world receives them) can often be quite strongly marked by the threat of sexual violence.
I think Emma Heaney here uses the identity of “man” in a way which is quite cisnormative and generalising. Some classes of men are socially marked by penetrability and that doesn’t just include trans men, and ignorance of this fact I think can only be taken as ignorance of trans men’s experiences or misgendering (though I’d never argue that it was intended to be the latter, doing so would be in bad faith). To a great many people, transmasculine people (especially when they’re known to be transmasculine) are not men; they are seen as rebellious girls who need to be re-inducted into the naturalised structure of patriarchy.
I think that in order to attain an intersectional understanding of patriarchy, it’s important to understand not only the specific applications of misogyny to transfeminised people (that is, transmisogyny) but also the specific applications of patriarchal oppression to transmasculine people (whether you wish to call them anti-transmasculinity, transandrophobia, or whichever other term). I’d need more evidence to say that this demonstrates a broader need for transfeminism to recognise and affirm trans men’s experiences but I think someone could make a convincing argument that that is the case. Hope you’re well prev and I don’t mean to insinuate anything about your personal character, just something I picked up in the text here that I thought deserved to be called out.
(post written in consultation with my trans male friend)
"but i have to be wary of trans women because so many have been transandrophobic" these bad actors are trying to make "trans woman" synonymous with "transandrophobe", are you going to let them?
fun fact! testosterone is what we call a Controlled Substance, meaning as long as i'm on it, i have to check in with my provider every 3 months. not recommended, not optional, mandatory. insurance doesn't cover any gender affirming care, so i have to pay for these appointments out of pocket. luckily i qualify for a discount, so i only have to pay $265 instead of $528. a 3-month supply of testosterone (12 single-use vials) is $116.71. so every 3 months i have to pay $381.71. that's WITH DISCOUNTS. not including the needles, syringes, sharps container, and alcohol wipes needed to actually administer the injection (all of which i can thankfully buy in bulk online for cheaper). so the next time anyone says trans men aren't oppressed for being men, they owe me $381.71
Just going to say as someone who supports discussions about transandrophobia you should and still have to care about transmisogyny discussions and vice versa. This is not a matter of 'sides' but people will convince you there is and that we all have something to hate or fear from our own communities.
I have seen way too many people be comfortable expressing fear of interacting with trans fem posts and you have to understand and internalize that that is, directly, the point of what's been happening. The point is to break down communication and create isolation between groups and with Tumblr mass banning a bunch of trans women as they are known to do, it is also helping silence them. The same with all transandrophobia bloggers being painted as MRA's who you cannot under any circumstances trust or hear out. Like gee, I wonder who that benefits right now. I wonder what all the infighting could be doing for what groups right now.
Forest for the trees, you *cannot* let people stir counter-bigotry into your heart because a vocal minority of a minority, online, wants us all to succumb to fear and the safety of the 'in-group'. You gotta stop it. We are too much alike to be doing this shit and reinventing a binary about it. You cannot succumb to forming and embracing biases it is 2026. Also consider your nonbinary and intersex neighbors in your discussions and research for the love of all things good. Not everyone fits neatly into the general ideas of fem or masc and that's both beautiful and important and the only way we are ever going to get out of the cave.
some of the most insidious acts of transmisogyny I've seen firsthand or been subjected to have been from TME trans people who have gotten way too comfortable abusing the trust of the trans women in their lives, especially when they're partners. being trans and saying you love trans women does not in fact mean you are incapable of being transmisogynistic to her
a transmasc college roommate of mine hung up on his transfem girlfriend and flew into a fit of screaming rage, calling her a "lying bitch," throwing things and slamming the door while I was right there in the room with him. another TME nonbinary roommate told the RA I was sleeping naked because I sometimes wore spaghetti straps to bed and I guess they didn't see the straps. I was once discussing bottom surgery with a transfem friend, and her TME trans partner chimed in with "ohh you know how I feel about that. I just don't really know how well they could recreate a female vagina... what if you get complications..."
I think some people think that being trans and saying they love trans women means they don't have to examine the ways they treat the trans women in their lives. they get used to the absolute lack of consequence to mistreating women who learn not to speak up for themselves, women who are not likely to be trusted if it's her word against theirs
I've seen much more significantly heinous acts from cisgender TME people obviously, and I've seen trans women do awful things too, but my intent here is to point out that TME trans people often find themselves close to trans women, and in that position they can easily fail to respect the position of privilege they have over her
I'd like to say, too, that if you find yourself in a position like this... it's not shameful to have privilege over someone! in fact it's a power that you can use to support and protect her! I really don't say shit like this to browbeat people for simply being TME
that trans woman's partner who handwrung about her getting bottom surgery btw, they once congratulated themself around us for being accepting of her transition and sticking with her. like, wow, so romantic. here's your medal. while we're at it can we talk about the time she told me you said she was unattractive :)
you know I think maybe it's not at all actually praiseworthy to merely tolerate trans women, especially as a trans person yourself. you do actually have to treat her right. and you're gonna want to be sitting down for this, but medals are not awarded for that either
can you imagine, too, if this trans woman had patted herself on the back for not dumping her partner when they came out as nonbinary? that would be so much more obviously weird, wouldn't it? that alone, imo, reveals the power imbalance. when merely tolerating a marginalized group is praiseworthy, you can get away with a lot
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i need people to start caring about trans rights all around the world, not just american. the lok sabha (parliament of india) just passed the transgender amendment bill of 2026 according to which they're removing a person's right to self determination of gender unless they're examined & approved by a medical board. it's hard enough for people here to get a gender defining surgery because of poverty and being shunned by society as is, & now they're taking away their right to exist. the medical boards are bigoted as fuck. despite protests all around the country they passed it. it is so fucking bleak out here.
Trans women are victimised by society. They go online to vent their grievances in a way TME people (trans and cis) find unpleasant or unacceptable, which prompts TME people to “call out” this behaviour in a way that sometimes ends up being more transmisogynistic than helpful. This transmisogyny leads trans women to lash out further and their posting gets more extreme, and she are “called out” in a way that is more vicious and transmisogynistic than before. Before long you have trans women posting about how all TMEs should be killed with a nuclear bomb and TME people ruthlessly picking apart every post a given trans woman makes, accusing her of sexual predation and abuse, pedojacketing etc. Trans woman gets banned.
This is a cycle of harm. I don’t want to sound like a liberal cuckold, but this behaviour cannot continue or I fear the trans community will rip itself apart. The responsibility falls upon everyone to improve conditions for trans people (all trans people as well as trans women specifically) and coalition build to achieve that goal. This means that people who haven’t before should make an honest engagement with transfeminist ideas, and frankly, I know how hurt trans women are but we should make sure our discourse is productive and doesn’t boil down to “kill everyone except us”.
There are a few other factors we can't ignore here. There's always the possibility that a prominent part of this discourse is TERFs trying to stir up shit. There is sometimes (I want to underscore, in some *specific* cases) an underpinning of misogyny in posts that trans women make about TME people that comes from the very worst places on the transfemme internet. I think there's also a lot of misdirected anger from trans women who want to target the patriarchy (over which cis men have the most power) but can't so they instead target trans men. All of these currents are harmful and should not be ignored. But essentially, trans people stop attacking each other and start building bridges please.
