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1. megatron dated a literal god reborn on cybertron and decided to throw it all away for the drama of it all, and 

2. yon Optimus Prime, last and youngest of the thirteen, decided to sacrifice himself to be reborn among the new cybertronians, and then immediately got himself a goth gf

3. megatron was for all intents and purposes just a normal, mortal dude? he just named himself after one of the primes? but he ends up dedicating like 4 million years of his life fighting a reincarnated god, and is so good at punching that he wins about 50/50. who wins, the collective wisdom of the primes? or one (1) spiky boi

4. fighting one celestial being wasn’t enough, so he goes and throws down w unicron, who is coincidentally an entire planet at the time. this ends up with him telling Robot Satan 1.0 to fuck off so hard he shorts out his own brain

(317): The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me

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embarrassing