☆*.+

dead tired today so I grabbed a coffee from the gas station & the guy greeted me by trying to say “is that everything “ but fumbled and said “e ga thebythin” and me trying to say “yeah” or “yup” just went “YIP!” in response. No survivors

My mom likes to say “Not my circus, not my monkeys, but I do know the clowns.”

my ducks? in a row. the elephant? addressed. my goose? cooked. my eggs? in several baskets. the bigger fish? fried.

Your monkeys ?

those aren’t mine.

Go to a furry convention dressed as an 18th century fur trapper. Longrifle, jawtraps, chains, fur hat, big coat made of sewn-together pelts of different polyester neons...

idk why people always use "fever dream" in a derogatory context because i'm still very sick and i just had the best dream ever. i was carrying a baby seal around and hand-feeding it spaghettios. it was so soft and it loved the spaghettios so much

i have something to say

should i eat first or shower first *has phone in couch time for another 3 hours due to choice procrastination, a behavioral phenomenon observed in pigeons and rats as well*

i' m something of a pigeons and rats myself

Tumblr is odd because you’ll see a mutual post something really profound like “the birds still sing for those who listen” and you see them 5 minutes later saying something like “need to be pegged.grilled cheese style”

@theshitpostcalligrapher "need to be pegged.grilled cheese style"