my cursed sword doesn't even tell me to kill people anymore it keeps begging me to put on a skirt and tights
I already know I'm a girl dickhead I just like wearing pants

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@terramental
my cursed sword doesn't even tell me to kill people anymore it keeps begging me to put on a skirt and tights
I already know I'm a girl dickhead I just like wearing pants

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realizing a headcanon of yours happens to make an element of canon even more heartbreaking when you hadn't even considered it from that angle previously
[ID from alt: emoji rubbing their hands together and grinning evilly. End ID.]
real exchange i overheard between two of my bosses. ????
why is this getting notes again everyone STOP talking about white collar & rich guy shit i am a BLUE COLLAR DYKE!!!! THIS IS A JANITORIAL COMPANY!!!! i will NOT let you make this about white collar businessmen the poors are funny too ok
wait i just found out you can be nice to people and be their friend i thought we had to kill them all cause i was raised in a lab to be a living weapon

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i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people
if you could see the thread i'm hanging on by you would not say these things to me
these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them
Going from being an introverted lurker on reddit to trying to post my own stuff here is so wild. I keep typing out a post, deleting it, then retyping because I think it's not good enough but then I look at other posts and why am I so worried?
It's like I'm at a fancy Italian restaurant and keep glancing around the room to see which hand people use to pick up the forks. But then I realize that everyone is shoveling spaghetti into their mouths using their bare hands and I'm like ah okay so I'm clearly overthinking this
This restaurant is absolute chaos and I'm giving it 5 stars
ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs
after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?
i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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they should normalize saying "I'm thinking of you fondly but don't have much to say and frankly I don't even really want to talk rn but you have appeared in my thoughts and it's nice"
Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars
dogs might look like their owners but cat people always have a cat with the same mental illness as them
My last cat was owned by my friend's Trekkie uncle who passed very suddenly in a car crash. The family just couldn't take him and asked me to possibly foster him until they could. I almost immediately adopted him.
I would set my computer to play a video for him when I left for work. He got mad if it wasn't star trek. He learned to hit the spacebar to pause and start it.
I am and have always been a Trekkie. One time I was having a shit day bc I was in the middle of MCAS starting to kick my butt and I was just crying on my couch. He hopped onto the table and started star trek for me
Then he just stared at me like "did that work?"
And this was his staring face so yes of course it did
But I'm forever amused that I shared needing the same comfort show, with a cat
Omg this is amazing
Like learning to pause???
And knowing it comforted you as well???
It took him some trial and error, but he figured out pawing the keyboard in the area of the spacebar made it stop and start. And also at my mouse, which he had stolen bc I was paying too much attention to the video, in that picture
He was a very smart and like. Attenuated cat.
these miis are driving me nuts
its 2026 i cannot handle any more fucking "author A obviously ripped off author B" discourse by people Who Have Only Seen the work of author B and admit themselves that they have no further knowledge of the literary landscape they are moving in. like.
Folks really need to reacquaint themselves with this concept

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im in actual disbelief that this just happened while i was writing down this joke to remember later
I can do it. I can write a chapter. I am capable of putting sentences together. I know what a comma is. I am Aware of the Character.