omg finally

i’m going to blow up everything forever.

to be honest i do have beef with some microbes

shoulda cooked it longer that gets rid ofem

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

Bicycle rights

that 0 note post is your mutual dying in a hot car alone no water no ac

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

One legitimately weird thing about Tumblr is that we literally can’t code for shit, many people quit working at Tumblr due to a hostile work environment, and we can’t seem to program a simple blogging website to not flood your RAM.

i love leaning into a bad feeling #mytwistingknife

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

haters will see you mind control them and be like i do not hate you any more