Teary-ray

Right in front of me

"I stand by every mistake I've ever made, so judge away."

"At one point, you just let go and give yourself to your life. I have finally managed that and I get so much more out of life."

"I used to be embarrassed about how I cry all the time. Now I think it's a gift to feel things."

"If you feel like you really want to define yourself, and you have the ability to articulate those parameters and that in itself defines you, then do it. But I am an actress, man. I live in the f*cking ambiguity of this life and I love it. The public kind of burned me at the stake. But that's OK, I can take it. I'm not dead."

The emotion I want to release

I keep hearing words that hurts me

Hearing it from someone I love

And lately it has been putting a hole in my heart

Why does it has to be like this?

Why does in every love there is pain?

I’m tired

Feeling the pain is tired

How could I allow myself to be hurt by you?

I want to give you up

I was done, I said it to myself

But then saw you again

I failed

I keep saying

I will motivate myself

I will figure things out

The things is

I need to be strong to let you go

Because in the first place

I was at peace when you suddenly came

You changed my life

From something confident and independent

To nothing but pain

Now, I’m drown with my own thoughts

I need an escape plan

There is something I want to tell you

I want to marry you

But I’m not ready yet

I want you to wait

I have a lot of things to aim

A lot of things I want to prove

To prove myself that I can

I want you to wait

But what if you can’t wait

What if you ask me

Ask me in a wrong time

I’m scared

I can’t say no

It should be a yes

An I do

Yes because it has always been you

I can’t lose you

But, I’m scared

I am

I wish I could say this

I wish and you can understand

I hope you won’t ask me

I just need more time

Time to prove myself

That I am worthy

Not just in your eyes

But also in my eyes

Just give me more time

To love myself

For me to love you more

Hoping that one day

If you’re going to ask me

If you will ask me

I would say the words I want to say

The right one and with no regrets

I hope

You will be that one person

Who looks at her social media stories

Wishing you never took her for granted

One day, you'll realized that

As of now, please continue to take her for granted

Because someday she will be the one

It will be her time

Because one day, it will be her moment.

Who laughs and smile without the pain you have caused her.

As of now, enjoy your moment.