yeah, you guys do

Like, bathroom bills. You ask any transphobe and their reason for bathroom bills is to “protect women from men invading their bathrooms” as if predatory cis men can’t just fucking walk in if they wanted. So, blatantly transmisogyny is at play here. But let’s say a bathroom bill passes and a trans man needs to take a piss. Legally, he’s obligated to use the women’s room… where he’ll be harassed, potentially beaten, and have the cops called on him. Then he gets arrested before they find out he was afab and start misgendering him on that basis. I can promise that would happen because the average cis person needs to have it explained to them that trans men exist, and a cis woman’s first thought at seeing a hairy, flat-chested person with a deeper voice is going to be “that’s a man”, regardless of his height, and if he’s wearing a trans pride flag, they’re going to assume he’s a trans woman. To top it off, there’s plenty of trans dudes who have encountered the awkward moment where a cis woman thinks you’re a man but a cis man thinks you’re a woman. Which means just using the men’s room illegally is still risky. I, for one, already don’t use public restrooms unless it’s a gender neutral one not because I’m not a man but because I don’t want to deal with cis bullshit. And that’s without a bathroom law telling me which one i can use. So, clearly laws made to be transmisogynistic will hurt trans men too. And nonbinary people as well.

Now, what about transandrophobia? Well, that would be any law about HRT access. Tighter controls? Very often done to prevent “confused women” and “lost lesbians” from “making a horrible mistake” that will “destroy their bodies” and affect their fertility because people with uteruses are baby factories I guess. But uh. You know trans women take HRT too, yes? So tighter controls on who has access to “cross sex hormones” means trans women lose out on their estrogen and spiro. The main target isn’t trans women, but trans women get fucked by this too!

Me, watching a new wave of transandrophobia discourse come up: Why are people saying that trans men don’t oppress trans women? (Genuine)

“The experiences are too different to compare”

But trans men oppress trans women on the basis of being men and women. Why would that be disagreed with? Gender is odd with us, and shouldn’t be taken as black and white, but I don’t think it’s this odd. It’s probably because if you’re specifying an oppressed group of men (bi men, disabled men, etc) as holding privilege over another gender, it comes as a different form from that specific group.

So how did we reach this point where trans men are holding a specific form of transmisogyny where others are saying it? Does it exist? If it does then how and where did it come from? Why does transmisogyny keep getting a red underline it’s a word damn it WAIT I CAN ADD IT TO DICTIONARY SUCK IT WINDOWS.

And why do trans men and other trans masc people have an adverse reaction to being told this? I found myself checking recently if these calls for unity are ever coming from trans women, and I’m sure some agree with them, but it always seems to stem from other trans mascs. It reminds me of when other white people are rallying to me saying that we should set race aside. It sounds fine on the surface, racial differences shouldn’t make anyone feel less welcome in a space, but what was really happening was ignoring the issues of an oppressed group and silencing them for speaking out. While my fellow trans men may not intend to do that, or be doing the same exact thing, I’m still very wary.

Maybe it’s just another instance of people not knowing how privilege and oppression works. That not everyone experiences the same exact thing but that there is a pattern of one group treated better than the other when it’s averaged across the population.

Trans mascs are using transandrophobia, and I have definitely seen instances of some saying that trans women are the ones who are silencing us over our own experiences. Thats not the case from what I’ve seen. Trans women have an issue when we say to “stop focusing so much on them!” and try to act as if people cannot care about more than one thing. It’s like we think there’s one spotlight and we need to push the other group out to get into it, but that’s not how it works. Trans women have hypervisibility and saying that they hold power over our invisibility with it is incredibly harmful. I can understand that it’s frustrating when we look up anything regarding transgender rights or media and it’s mostly if not all trans women because we are looking for something that relates to us, but that is not the intent or fault of trans women.

And when it comes to us talking about our experiences without that and someone says that it’s taking attention away from trans women, yeah, that’s probably wrong, but we need to be able to differentiate that.

Overall when trans men and women separate to talk about our experiences, it does not end well and we commonly end up complaining about one another. This is not beneficial to either of us but we do it because it’s much easier to do that than to acknowledge the transphobic society we live in. Being trans will make you distrust a lot more people, because someone can become your enemy the second you mention your gender identity when they were your friend a second ago.

There is without a doubt transmisogyny within transmasc circles and as a trans man I still find myself there because I want to have a sense of community. It’s hard to tell that when there is critique if the intention is pure or not.

I’ve had plenty of experience being told that I can’t reclaim the t slur even though I’ve been called it for being trans since it’s only used against trans women, and I see myself reclaiming it anyway because before it was used in self-hatred and reclaiming it has improved my internalized transphobia and mental health. I’ve been told to delete my anti terf blog because I don’t experience transmisogyny and that terfs don’t target me, when that’s a lie. So maybe when people say that trans masc people have privilege over trans fems, that’s what we think of. We think of our experiences where people forget that transmisogyny will always include transphobia, and that transphobia effects all of us regardless of gender identity or agab. And instead of continuing to fight the outside transphobia, the oppression we are facing in the first place, we end up arguing who is truly facing that.

The fact that many people treat transmisogyny as just “transphobia towards trans women” is not helping either.

So trans men do oppress trans women, but on the basis that men oppress women. Trans men have an issue with transmisogyny but there is still the issue where trans men have their experiences with transphobia down played.

—- End Process —-

With that said, we absolutely need a term to describe the specific type of oppression and marginalization trans men experience. Because we DO face it and it is different and distinct from transmisogyny or just plain “transphobia.” It is a specific type of condescension, infantilization, and ignorance of our voices on things like reproductive healthcare, or the VERY REAL NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES a lot of anti-trans legislation has on trans men (harassment in women’s bathrooms, being forced to either stop taking T or not start HRT to participate in sports at all because they cannot compete as men, ect.).

I don’t know, personally, what that term could be - something that we all agree on, something that can define the experiences trans men face at their specific intersection of being trans and AFAB that’s not just “transphobia.” Because it is, but again, it is different and distinct to trans men and trans masc people.

You: I know that's not true! I'm dysphoric and I was able to manage it in other ways so you can too!

You seriously don't have a fucking clue how these people tried to cope prior yet you're treating them as if they did nothing as their mental health went down the gutter.

I hate to break it to you but just because you were able to manage your dysphoria without transition doesn't automatically mean that everyone else can. I was legitimately in a 7 hr a day 5 days a week therapy program as a 15 year old for a month, was medicated with anti depressants, and still felt fucking miserable and hopeless. I was having suicidal thoughts at the age of 10 and was getting help for mental health since I was 8, yet 7 years of psychiatrists and therapists couldn't help me from getting worse and worse.

I'm 20 now and even during a global pandemic, college, financial hell, and a few other things, I'll have breakdowns but I don't think about suicide anymore. I've been on T for three years now so I say I've transitioned, even if I haven't had a surgery.

Oh, and my life experience isn't a story intended to lure innocent children into "unnecessary lifetime medicalization" either. Transition isn't even solely medical seeing as how I got much better by social transition.

People talking about their actual life experiences shouldn't be avoided for your fear of children seeing it and thinking that they're going to end up the same way. Hell, plenty of children would be in the same boat whether they saw it or not, I know I fucking was when I didn't even fully grasp the meaning of transgender, so much as visit these forums.

If you are looking at these comments and getting angry at these people for speaking about their struggles with suicide and how there's so much transphobia in the world that they had to wait until that point to start transition, then you need to rethink about how you're treating mental health issues as a whole. No one here is advocating for suicide by talking about their fucking struggles with suicide.

Because of course she did.

Years ago I would have been desperate to try these “other options” OP describes.

When I was a kid I didn’t know it was possible to be transmasc. I knew about being trans for a long while but only thought it was trans women. Then when I came out a lot of people didnt think i could be trans since im transmasc.

When I finally realized I was trans, I panicked and for the longest time thought I was faking it.

It nearly killed me.

When we see articles talking about menstruating, child birth, etc anything to do with our reproductive organs it’s always suddenly “PEOPLE with wombs” or “PEOPLE who menstruate”

Thought when it comes to men’s reproductive organs in media it’s always “men’s sperm count” “men’s ability to contract prostate cancer”

If we’re trying to be so gender inclusive and ‘woke’ why TF is it only women who are bearing the brunt of erasure??? Where is that same energy for men??? I’m not gonna sit here and listen to the argument of “THATS NOT TRUE” because YES. IT. IS.

You claim to include us in your feminism yet whenever an issue comes up surrounding trans men’s comfort and safety, suddenly taking a huge dump on trans women becomes more important than remembering trans men exist, are NOT getting access to resources, and are absolutely not being included in your feminism.

(By the by, have you ever thought about the implications for trans men if trans people are forced into using only the spaces regarding their biological sex? The trans men and transmascs who will get beaten, pepper-sprayed, and inconvenienced by security because some Karen decided a cis man was in the bathroom with her? The trans men and transmascs who will be forced to compete against other women, especially those on HRT? The trans men and transmascs who will be turned away from abuse and homeless shelters because someone looked at a checklist and “clocked” them as male?)

to my fellow transmascs, i hope these winter months are not too hard. i hope any holidays you may celebrate are easy, and if they are not, i want you to know that i love you. that i am rooting for you. that you will always have a space here on my little blog, and in my heart.

to my fellow transmascs, your masculinity is not evil. there is nothing wrong with you. you are not bad for being masculine. you are not a traitor. you are so, so lovely. you are so wonderful.

Stop acting like this isn't a community-wide issue that affects ALL trans people. Especially autistic trans people.

In her award winning(!!!) essay, Rowling explained that she believes autistic trans men and boys (like myself) are not mentally competent to consent to our own medical care.

We're easily influenced, you see. Gullible. Liable to be led astray by militant trans activists, social media, and the glamour and popularity that comes with being transgender.

JK Rowling, outspoken feminist and champion for the rights of women, wants to deny medical autonomy to "girls" because she thinks we're overly-emotional, frivolous, and susceptible to peer pressure.

She has spoken directly about her belief that autistic "girls", especially, should not be allowed to transition because we're intellectually incapable of forming, recognising, and articulating our own identities, and especially vulnerable to "social contagion".

But, of course, the law doesn't (shouldn't) discriminate, and if autistic teens and/or adults can't legally consent to treatment of gender dysphoria, we can't legally consent to the treatment of anything. We won't be able to access any treatment or medication without approval from a responsible adult.

The ability of trans kids to consent to their own medical care has already been the subject of a court case (Bell vs Tavistock). It was overturned on appeal, but one of the potential consequences of that specific case was that cis teens could have lost access to hormonal contraception without parental consent.

If Rowling gets what she's said she wants, the knock-on effect may well be that autistic people in the UK lose the ability to live independently.

individual trans people can use various names for their genitalia, and think about them in different ways to cope with dysphoria, but this isn't just about an individual's language applied to their own body. it leaks into politics, it becomes political, possibly often on purpose. that matters a lot, given what penises and vulvae are in the culture, what codes and associations are attached to them. penises are a tool of domination, vulvae are seen as "passive" and "nonthreatening".

ever heard that "transwomen often don't even think of their genitalia as a penis"? that it's not ok to call it a penis, that for most transwomen it's a "clitoris", that due to estradiol it's NOTHING like the average natal male penis, that it allegedly doesn't smell like one, doesn't feel like one, and is overall basically an overgrown clit?

that's usually said in context of "cotton ceiling" discussions, and discussions about transwomen in female only spaces. it's meant to convey that transwomen's genitalia are harmless because it's not really a penis at all.

simultaneously, whenever there's a discussion about repulsion towards penises in concept, negative associations with (aka "demonizing") penises, or about hetero sex, the same transwomen will say they have penises and thus are being harmed. the same transwomen who claim they basically have vulvae protest vulva art or any implication that women don't have penises. suddenly, it is a penis and needs to be respected as such.

it's Schrödinger's dick: not a dick when it's meant to be nonthreatening, but a dick when it's meant to be included.

interestingly, this only applies to MtF trans people. transmen often do refer to their clits, especially post testosterone, as penises - as a dysphoria coping mechanism - but it doesn't leak into the political sphere at all. transmen aren't brought up in discussions about penises. everyone knows that transmen have vulvae. a penis can "become" a clitoris in the public sphere; a clitoris can't "become" a penis, even though the changes transmen's genitalia undergo due to testosterone are way more dramatic than the ones transwomen's genitalia undergo on estradiol.

When we can be weaponized against trans women

When they try to bullshit their way into trying to convince people they’re Totally Not Transphobic, See, We Include Our Delusional Butch Lesbian Cisters With Their Wombynly Wombs And Sacred Passages, They Owe Us Everything Because They Can Use Credit Cards And Drive Those Ungrateful B*riches Why Won’t They Date Me, I’m A Nice Girl

Trying to justify conversion therapy against minors

Time trans men get ignored by transphobic feminists:

Literally every other time

Especially if we talk about the prejudice we face in accessing reproductive health care

And about our sexual assaults at the hands of other women, especially if said other woman is a TERF

Get a new grift, ladies. Stop trying to use us to justify your disgust with the bodies of trans women.

Then we also have this “feminist” moms that absolutely obsessed with how beautiful their Afab children are and how they will ruin their genitals and such but transitioning.

There was also that one Tumblr troll who made comments about writing fanfic about “detransitioning” a trans boy who was a minor with sex

Or the one detransitioner who described trans men as “Pedophilic autoandrophiles”

Or whining about butch flight or “losing lesbians”

Or making creepy comments about Elliot Page looking like a sexual predator

Or the ACTUAL TERF PEDOPHILE here on Tumblr a few years back

I mean…pretend this is all about “““““““loving concern””””””” all you want but TERFs have so many issues with trans men, minors or not, and it absolutely shows

TERFs can’t seem to decide whether we’re poor deluded delusional lesbians who need “loving caresses” on our hungalongadunkaroos to bring us to our senses before we chop them off, sexual predators brainwashed because we saw a peepee in boy’s love fanart, or trenders trying to be super speshul snowflakes

I'll save the long Tumblr post since the link explains it but my partner Kwamie has less than four days to get out with no money or family members that can give shelter.

Our goal is $2000 but anything helps. We've been in bad situations before but nothing this fucking dire.

We got a donation of $20 which is alone super helpful for getting public transport needed to replace important documents (social security card specifically).

Digging around online I found out that it is illegal to force an adult child that's not paying rent out without a formal 6 month notice. Meaning that their mom cannot call the police to force them out, which is what she was most likely planning to do.

On Friday their mother picked up a stack of dishes and threw it at Kwamie, hitting their arm, before picking up their laptop and charger and taking it. She left the laptop downstairs on the couch after Kwamie threatened to call the police for theft.

Kwamie is searching through the house for any sort of identification documents or the SSN. So far there's no luck, and they can't replace any of them when they have no formal identification at all.

Today their mother hid almost all of the silverware so they can't cook food to feed themselves. Their dad gave them money for food and when the food actually arrived at the house and they were eating, their mom came down the stairs, naked I should add, and threw it onto the floor.

After I heard of this I downloaded a phone call recorder so if she does anything while kwamies on the phone with me, it'll be saved.

Currently the plan is to rent a car and drive 13 hrs there and 13 hrs back as transport. We'll probably need to call the police if we can't get anything by then because Kwamie has never had access to their SSN and you need that to do anything from getting a job to going to school.

We've made $40 so far which is still helpful, especially in this situation for food or transport emergencies.

If the 5$ min of godundme is too much then I understand that. If you're comfortable with giving to my PayPal then there's not a minimum to that to my knowledge.

Silly abstract thing inspired by an ask @normal-horoscopes​ received recently. I wonder how it’d look on a pin…

Looks good without the meme text, too.

I'll save the long Tumblr post since the link explains it but my partner Kwamie has less than four days to get out with no money or family members that can give shelter.

Our goal is $2000 but anything helps. We've been in bad situations before but nothing this fucking dire.

For questions: