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@tequilaxmockingbird08

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Item: codpiece with concealed twelve-chamber revolver that totally works, despite the chambers clearly not overlapping with the barrel. As far as I can tell, you fire it by clenching
Glock and balls
if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal
if youre in the US (especially the northeast + michigan) i would avoid bagged salads/greens and generally wash your produce very thoroughly unless you want the diarrhea parasite
Michigan is experiencing its largest outbreak of a parasitic infection that causes severe diarrhea. Nearly 1,000 people have been diagnosed
this is not life-threatening, but also who wants weeks of diarrhea and a fucking parasite in them lol. if you suspect you've already had this and it's passed, i would see a doctor. you might need an antiparasitic anyway. if you're actively sick, see a doctor and they might be able to prescribe medication to help you get over it faster.
try to avoid eating raw vegetables, scrub fruit with a produce brush and rinse thoroughly with water. again, don't bother with premade greens or bagged salads. if you buy lettuce, remove the outer 2-3 layers of leaves.
there are UNVERIFIED rumors that the greens have been linked to a company that sources to taco bell. some locations have been actively pulling fresh ingredients like lettuce, avocado, and pico de gallo to mitigate the threat, so i would avoid any products from them just in case. considering how vast supply chains are, i'd be wary of any fast food greens in general for now.
also note this is a PARASITIC infection. most diarrhea-causing pathogens you expect to contaminate your greens are bacteria (e.g. e. coli and salmonella), which are a different domain of organism altogether. cyclospora is a protozoan, which is bigger and more complicated than a bacteria (for reference, malaria is also caused by a protozoan). bacterial diarrhea can be dangerous, but you might also expect to weather it and survive unscathed. do NOT fuck with PARASITIC contamination. you should be scared of this one!

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lucario can hear you being a furry and it gives him depression
i don’t know how many people on tumblr know about “verticals” - they’re cheaply made soap operas that are filmed vertically so you can watch them on your phone. they’re infamous in the acting world because of the poor writing and nonsensical plots - almost always has something to do with a mafia boss or a vampire or a werewolf - and they always have insane titles like “pregnant with the ceo’s baby” or “forced to marry the alpha king.” i come across tons of them on casting websites and they all have wild titles and descriptions but none of them, None of Them, have truly grabbed me like the title i saw today:
Dr. Fangs: He Prescribes Bites
Mitch McConnell's pr team right now:
surprised that double exposure lewd trend hasn't made it over here, that seems perfect for Tumblr

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the "we need this version of [x]" memes always have me in hysterics for some reason
are there any more
Women with big curly red hair always have like 12 gay guy friends why is that
INCREDIBLE response
free use? *smirks snartly* so naive. you know nothing in this damned society is really free...
can't look up what snartly means because i don't have a dictionary account
Piracy is a “victimless crime”? Idk i was kinda hoping there would be a victim. I want the mouse dead

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If i were in the star wars universe I would be the first person to sit down with c3po and really truly listen.
I just think he'd have a super interesting perspective as a married fem gay man in the 70s . I'd be c3pos hag.