Better the Devil You Know

sometimes i struggle to use the word ‘bootlicker’ in a negative sense because of sexual desires i will not disclose here

Is it licking boots?

because of sexual desires i will not disclose here.

No this was the best picture of Ed Sheeran they had

"having sex with your friends is basically incest" is a take of all time

Reblog if you have incestuous desires about your friends

ok there’s been enough reblogs from enough people on enough various posts of mine that now i need to stand up for the bitches who don’t fuck of the world. people aren’t writing bad smut because of a lack of having sex. they are writing it because a lot of people have very poor visualization skills and forget halfway through what position characters are supposed to be in, or don’t understand what makes a word a good or bad choice, or can’t create compelling dynamics. i promise that even the sexually inactive, by virtue of also existing within the human form, would know that if you’re behind someone you can’t lick their nipple. and i promise that the frequently sexually active are equally prone to using the word “mewled.” i can pretty much guarantee that having a lot of sex and writing good sex scenes are unrelated. do you think your favorite horror authors are cutting people up in their basements. do you think your favorite food critics are michelin chefs. do you think the people blocking cool combat scenes in movies are routinely getting into cage fights. no they just understand how to utilize tone, pacing, momentum, and the tools of film direction, while keeping action tied to character. like believe it or not this is simply a skill like everything else. idk i always think that that point of view shows a lack of understanding of what makes a sex scene work. it removes the craft of it in a way i find short-sighted. i think people are confused about the reason teenagers are writing bad sex scenes. it’s not because they’re not fucking, it’s because they are young and haven’t had the years to hone their writing craft the way someone older has.

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

manipulate your genitals

I wish conservatives would stop being cowards in their cuckholding fantasies. It's so obvious YOU want to fuck him but you have to have him fuck your wife because it's more socially acceptable. Sorry I just got off twitter

Aborted girlfriend.

Hamas killed her gf

you're laughing. Those dogs were stuck on that large pile of snow until it melted into a tiny pile of snow and you're laughing

the menstrual cup and menstrual scepter