Rev It Up!

This chapter took over 6 months and over 20 drafts to come into being. There are a bunch of deleted scenes, shifts of pov, changed flashbacks and everything else. Maybe if you ask nicely I might share them lol. The chapter is split into 3 parts, and I'll talk about them in order.

Starting with the first part. I spent quite a bit of time tossing up how much backstory to give our Reader. People say reader inserts should be blank slates, but that's so fucking boring honestly. I created a character that complements Vincent; who is bright and brave but with plenty of insecurities hiding underneath. Someone easily flustered that overthinks everything but also lives in the moment, who understands when things need to be handled with care and grace, but also isn't afraid to call out bullshit. Coming up with those traits and how they interplay comes easily because I'm just writing a compliment to Vincent, looking at his personality and deciding what would best work for him, but when it comes to creating a backstory, it gets more complicated.

What shapes someone into this sort of person? How do you give specific insecurities without impacting others, and what sort of depth do we want to add to how they're treated by the other characters that know that backstory. As a reader, learning the backstory here needed to feel natural. You should be able to read back on Chaos Theory and understand why Barret is so protective, why Tifa is apprehensive but warm and supportive, and why Aerith is so gung ho because she doesn't actually know the backstory. I spent a lot of time creating a narrative that would feel natural when compared to everything I've written previously, so let's explore that a bit.

I decided on what boils down to essentially having a good childhood, building confidence and curiosity; then a traumatic event that changes everything, introducing the insecurity and uncertainty and overthinking. I also wanted to add a reason that our Reader is so passionate about the adventure they're on, exploring the world even though it's terrifying. The contrast of it comes up a lot in Abyss, where there's a character that is terrified and does not want to be there, but also jumps in headfirst and refuses to be left behind. I thought about how to make them lose everything, before the plate falls and everyone else loses everything. To be considering giving up (which you can interpret in a myriad of potentially severe ways), and then watch everyone else you care about lose everything too, and decide to help them through it because you already know how it feels.

But I also hate introducing a random man that is violent. It makes sense but I also feel like it comes out of nowhere lol. I had more scenes with him that I cut because I didn't like it, I think having him remain a faceless evil, that hurts you but also drives away your friends works better, but it's not a part of the backstory that will be focused on, cause I like what it means but I'm not really a fan lol.

Anyway. My favourite parts from the flashback!

Surprise Reeve mention! - No one has mentioned this one to me and it makes me so sad lmao. Are we gonna get to punch him in the face? I fucking hope so

The last words being spoken to Jessie and co being in anger. Oooof,

His eyes were so fucking cold, lips pursed with annoyance and hatred. He thought you were nothing, that you were lower than dirt, not even worth a second glance. He was right of course, but it’s easy to find strength when you have nothing to lose. This slaps so fucking hard, wtf I can't believe I wrote it lol.

So, onto the next part, the reveal.

Obviously this reveal is a big one, but I wanted it to just have this sense of creeping dread and unease. The tense changes and non linearity of the first part contrast directly with it, that instead of seeing what has happened and feeling removed from it, we're back in the same tense as the rest of the story, experiencing it as it happened. But the temple has motive, and all of the different moving parts of it are revealed slowly to build that tension. A single scientist, then more, then the horror of realisation.

Slipping in clues for us, the readers who know what Omega is and what a vial in an old specimen freezer might represent. And then he goes to inject it into her eye, something horrific in itself but a relief almost. I feel bad for doing the eye fake out but oh my god the comments I got on it lmao, worth itttt. The tension of not knowing what's going on and then suddenly it goes in the spine and everything is fucking clear. I love it.

But Revvvv, what does it all mean?

Good question lol. So, I have a plot that is simultaneously intricate and exciting, with many different moving parts at play, and also vague as fuck because SE could change anything and everything. So while I know what it means, I'm not gonna say it because it could all change at any time lol.

I can handle Vincent being the father, I can handle the dynamic between Grim, Lu, Hojo and Vin being fleshed out in a myriad of different ways, I can handle him keeping or losing Chaos/his immortality at the end of the game, and whatever they do with Deepground. Lmao, I've got one of those conspiricy theory whiteboards, ya'll have no idea.

Obviously, there is no good way for Vincent to find out about this but, alot of the comments I've gotten haven't considered that there's 2 main parts to this. She can tell Vinny, but only mention the Hojo experiment, which would go one way, or also mention Omega and if he knows anything about it… which he doesn't. He doesn't know the name Omega, and a vial of CH is likely not to twig in his memory, so there's a lot more at play here than just a simple reveal. It won't be happening in Abyss but the plot will be thickening lol, dw.

As a lil spoilery treat for those reading this. While the quieting of Vincent’s monsters is obviously directly related to the CH in the spine… there’s a seperate, external mechanism that’s causing it, with some pretty serious repercussions (oooh maybe that’s what the temples mad about 👀)

On to Tseng, lol I think SE put him here just so I could have him in my fic. It’s too good of a coincidence, being able to ask the person that potentially handed you off to the enemy, but he’s out of it and doesn’t give confirmation or denial. There’s alot here and all to unpack, I’ve done a chunk here but I’m kinda rambling now lol. Feel free to send me any asks asking more specific questions. I'll finish off with this one statement though lol.

I finished Rebirth and immediately went and watched the cutscenes I'd missed, particularly the Gold Saucer dates, and I found the boys date. I loved it, it was hilarious, and that night I couldn't sleep. Lying there at 3am, I came up with my own date for Vincent, a thing that didn't go exactly as planned, that was soft and romantic and ended badly, but finished with him finding reassurance, affection, love, and understanding that he belonged somewhere. I thought about how we got there, got close to him, breaking that initial ice during the plane crash, needing rescuing, and slowly growing closer to him through side quests, through spending time with him and exploring the world.

A series of short segments leading towards a crescendo of acceptance for him, a good ending, the one that he deserves, culminating at the Gold Saucer, a romantic night, body worship and a reassurance for what was to come. 7-ish chapters, 40k words, a love letter to FFVII as a whole, to the over 10 years that FFVII had been in my life, to my love of Remake and Rebirth and how I felt about them. I wanted to write it but didn't know if I could, I didn't know how.

I wrote it anyway, the plane crash, just to see if I could. To keep something short and to the point, introduce intrigue and mystery and draw people in, and I decided to give him static. This is an embarrassing thing for me, from my own hang ups, essentially a form of sex pollen but not just about sex, something that keeps appearing in my own writing from my own insecurities, but I digress. I wondered why he would tingle, where it might come from, considering that it can't just happen with everyone, it has to be specific to you, the reader, the love interest. What if it comes from Omega, the ultimate dichotomy of ying and yang, the planet needing to choose between its destruction and its salvation, played out between lovers that don't know any better but are still somehow inexplicably drawn to each other.

How do you become affiliated with Omega? How do you end up being experimented on but don't know anything about it? How do you stop a boring amnesia cliche? You make the planet intervene and you get on that helicopter with Aerith and live through the worst of nightmares completely unaware and then wait for everything to be revealed at the worst time.

Chaos Theory always had a sequel, even when it finished at the Gold Saucer but I never intended to write it. It was a way to deepen the world, to have unanswered questions and secrets, to build something intricate that I was proud of, in my story of 7 chapters and artistic snippets, lol.

I had 2 chapters written when I lost my job. I'd just written them in my free time, casually, something to do, something to get it out of my system because I didn't have the time or mental capacity to commit to an actual story.

The workplace were assholes, assured me that it was just a budget break and I'd be working again in 2-3 months. I generally work remotely and flexibly, and had a large chunk of travel planned, so just decided to take the time off and not look for another job, because I deserved it. I posted the first chapter of Chaos Theory that night.

Chaos Theory came together in 13 different countries, on planes, buses, trains, long walks, and in museums, churches, boats and tours. It became my job to a point, something I spent full time hours on because I wanted to, growing into something alot longer than 7 chapters, lmao. There ended up being that many sex scenes, I should have known better.

But, the twist, the reveal. I didn't tell the twist to anybody, not my betas, not the people I've been bouncing ideas off, nothing. I kept it completely to myself. Writing and writing and getting more and more involved as the story took on a life of its own, as Vincent himself started reacting, opening himself up, letting me in and derailing every plan that I had. For 2 years I have sat here, added 4 more countries to the document's origins, wondering if I was brave enough to take the plunge. So now that I've revealed it with my prose and gotten enough comments to prove that it worked, that I managed to not fuck up this reveal, it means so much to me.

This is obviously the big reveal in the story. Now, there are still more reveals to come, many of which won't be answered in Abyss, but everything stems from this. Because I've revealed this now, I'm willing to be a lot more liberal with my spoilers lol, so if you ask me what's gonna happen… Then I might just tell you lmao.

Thanks for being on this ride with me, reading and supporting me, I love this story and everything about it. All of you mean everything to me, so thanks <3, and I hope you've enjoyed the ride.