BAD DOG

genuinely if it becomes a film making trend to adapt 4chan/reddit posts into movies i think we should ban the moving image

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can

black tortoiseshell with moderate white spotting (calico)

Christian babies have so far not found a purpose or use outside of baseball

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt

being an executioner used to be an inherited job. imagine dealing with teen angst and also job shadowing your dad the town’s torturer

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

The apple they fed to snow white wasnt poision at all it was just a red delicious

I sometimes envision myself being married to someone I can love for the rest of my life, but other times I’m envisioning some shit that honestly doesn’t matter at all