taylunae

My church/cult literally constantly railed against evolution. Coached us as children with all sorts of talking points. Encouraged us to interrupt and sabotage our science classes. We had a display full of different tracts on the wall and one was specifically for “debunking” evolution and carbon dating.

Hell when I had to write a paper abt evolution in my eight grade science class I was encouraged to state that the earth is 6000 years old and that evolution isn’t real

there’s an entire SITE dedicated to this shit that the church talked about constantly too—Answers In Genesis

There’s a CREATIONIST MUSEUM in Kentucky. When it was made it was the talk of the town tbh. Our youth group organized a trip to visit—I didn’t go thank god.

I hear now there’s multiple “museums” for it these days

My aunt gave me a book called “It Couldnt Just Happen”. A children’s book with all sorts of talking points abt how evolution is fake and the world could only have been created by god

When you talk to people about this, please remember that they’ve already been told that the nonbelievers are going to reject them, that people being mean to them is proof that they’re doing a good job. It’s the kind of conditioning it’s very hard to unlearn, and today as a 35-year-old I still have gaps in my knowledge that my friends have to fill in from time to time just because of how sheltered I ended up being.

1. It’s overused and supports the current status quote of typical vampire supremacy:worshiping rich folk.

2. Vampires prey upon humans and therefore symbolize capitalists preying on the working class.

GRIME I say ‘tis dirty, wicked, foul, and dark -- An opportunity both miss’d and scorn’d -- That vampires of any shape or shade Would drink the blood of innocence most pure When Pepsi costs a dollar sev’nty five.

FIRST FOOL O lady, I must ask, and tell the truth: Wherever in this God’s green holy land Canst thou obtain this drink for such a fee? I’ve seen no less than fifty-five pence more.

GRIME A hospital, good sir.

SECOND FOOL (Does some figures)                                And might I ask Wherever in this land (of any hue) Is fellow who two dollar thirty pence Dost pay for si of Pep?

GRIME                                    Not I, i’faith. I pay a mere two shillings short of two. And, once again, I pay in hospital.

CANADIAN JESTER I pay a hefty two and half for mine. But in my blood runs maple syrup, too.

GRIME O Jester fine, I pray thee, still thyself. Thou stray’st from this, our mode of speaking here.

FIRST FOOL But blood costs naught but time.

SECOND JESTER                                                 Aye, that is true; But sir, remember this in figuring: A Pepsi, too, is free, if stolen ‘tis.

FIRST FOOL I see, but -- wait, another thought occurs. Wherefore, I ask thee, for what reason, sirs, Dost Lady Grime buy Pepsi from the house Of healing, birth, and death?

GRIME                                             ‘Tis simple, friend. Allow me to explain to thee the cause. The Pepsi sold by those who follow in The footsteps of St. Luke, Evangelist Is sold for a mere dollar sev’nty five.

FIRST HARLEQUIN (Aside, to SECOND HARLEQUIN) Why wouldst a vampire drink Pepsi, then?

SECOND HARLEQUIN (Aside, to FIRST HARLEQUIN) Why wouldst an honest man drink Pepsi, sir?

FIRST FOOL A femboy, it would seem.

(There is general applause and agreement.)

GRIME                                    O fool, a what?

Enter KONAHRIKS De’ACTIVAT EDZOZ ESQ., a SCHOLAR and WARD OF THE SKY.

WARD You see, my friends, this selfsame story tells The truth of why the incubus’s tale Is one that bears to no more to be declared. I’ll tell you all my reasons three. The first: The wealthy ghoul who drinks the common blood Is overused and stale, like molding bread; But also hangs upon the teller’s face A pallid, gasping idol worship mask. The second mark I tally here along: A vampire who sucks the blood from men Does hold up in the mind a mirror cold. This mirror shows that, far from fantasy, The vampire is real, ‘tis Elon Musk. The reason third is simple, clean, and pure: A werewolf’s just, like, sexier, my dudes.

(GRIME dances like a ferret. There is rejoicing.)

Exeunt.

Enter LARA, FELAGUND, and SHERLOCK, accompanied by the MANGO MERCHANT.

LARA I feel these words have struck me to my core. Is this, the world, collapsing to the ground Or is it just my weary, shaking soul?

FELAGUND ‘Twould seem my lady needs to see St. Luke.

SHERLOCK I’ve heard his fellows sell a Pepsi cheap.

(The MANGO MERCHANT offers a mango. All weep.)

The cover reveal for my book FORGET ME NOT, out July 11, is here!

EVERYONE STAY FUCKING CALM!!!

*cue me screaming and running around my house*

Welcome to Whumptober 2021! May the Whump be with you :)

To all of you who participated last year - we have changed a few of the rules, but overall things have stayed the same. To everyone new: WELCOME!

Please make sure to read the Event Info carefully, most of your questions will be answered there already. For everything else you are welcome to come to our ask box or ask questions in our Discord server here.

This year’s AO3 Collection can be found here.

With that being said, we’re very excited to see the community come together once more and be a wild, chaotic bunch of creators and consumers of whump. We wish you all the fun!

(All 31 Themes + Prompts, Event Information, and FAQs are posted below the cut!)

She reached a hand up to his cheek, loving that he leaned into her touch, closing his eyes. Her heart ached with how much she loved him. Sometimes it scared her, how much they loved each other. Often times she would find herself imagining the worst, imagining a day where she might have to live without him. Each time the horrible thought crossed her mind, she was left with a crippling sadness, deep enough to prevent her from getting out of bed. She couldn’t imagine having to live her life without him.