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Today's Document

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YOU ARE THE REASON
Sade Olutola
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@tawn-tawn

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Being an adult woman is just like “oh my tummy hurts” “oh my head hurts” “oh the burden of being alive is so heavy today” and then carrying on with your day.
its so shiddy when u have to convince yourself to do your hobbies. like, its fun, you like it, why cant you just do it. do it. do it. but what if.... mindless media consumption instead....
im so sorry to the seven thousand of you so far who relate
upset at the accuracy of these tags
things librarians judge you for:
saying the book came to you like that when clearly your dog chewed on it
trying to reshelve books on your own
yelling at us to get our attention
talking on your phone when we’re trying to assist you
yelling at non-management staff for policies they have no power over
asking for more time on the computer when the session has already logged you off, you needed to ask for that time 5 minutes ago
asking us to look something up for you by the call number. the call number tells you where it is. please just give me the title.
getting upset with us for anything COVID related
things librarians do NOT judge you for (unless they’re bad at librarianing):
reading erotica
using the copier incorrectly
not speaking english as a first language
being an adult and not reading grown up books
owing fines
liking romance novels
finding out your child’s card is blocked because they’ve been billed for books they’ve secretly been hiding behind their dresser
having books overdue
you liking graphic novels and comics
your CHILD liking graphic novels and comics. seriously. we just want them to read.
taking books off of a display
asking us to check and make sure we don’t have a book you returned (with COVID and quarantining books, more things are getting missed, so asking a librarian to do a shelf check is okay! but be nice. we are So Tired and Busy. if you say something like “if you’re busy feel free to check when you have time and get back to me” we will love you. we will probably be like “you’ve been nice so i’ll go right now”)
things librarians judge, but don’t judge YOU for:
James Patterson. Look. we all know everyone likes him. That’s great, we love that people read because of him! But we do judge James Patterson as an entity. He’s got so many goddamn books. they take up so much goddamn space. james. jimmy. jimsicle. just. stop putting your name on things, please, we are begging you. liking james patterson is Valid. BEING james patterson is not valid.
All of this seconded, thirded, fourthed etc. Please go and enjoy the library and be nice to people there. That’s all a librarian wants from their career!
Enjoy!
Nicely!
Explore your tastes and ask for help when you need it. You don’t need to know how anything works, we’ll explain it to you. That’s what we’re for!
And if you like James Patterson but are ready to branch out, ask a librarian to look up some of the authors who are given second billing on his book jackets. You know the people I mean. They usually do 90-95% of the writing in those books (I have a friend who worked with his editor who told me this with great relish) and many of them have other books under their own names, unconstrained by the JP branding, that you could try.
These policies can help to improve the mental health of students
If the point is for the children to learn, then why wouldn’t you give them as many chances as it takes? What is the benefit of telling a child “you failed and that’s the end of it”?
I’m 25, and in my trade school, our tests aren’t judgement, they’re testing to see what we’ve retained, and identify what we’re missing.
If I weld a joint, and the CWI comes up behind me with a radiographic test for it and finds that I just laid hot metal on cold metal or it looks like a sponge inside, you know what’s gonna happen? You think they’re gonna give me a low score and tell me to move on? Fuck no. They’re gonna hand me a grinder and tell me to take it out and put it in right.
When there’s actual work to be done, we don’t leave it at the first attempt if that attempt was shit. We don’t leave a trail of “what’s done is done.” If it takes you four attempts, that’s what it takes, and next time it’ll take fewer because you learned how to do it right after the third time.
School, as it’s set up, with unforgiving deadlines and single attempt high stakes tests are building a shitty work ethic. It says “I tried once, and that’s all you’re getting.” It sets you up to leave a trail of cut losses and barely or unfinished projects as you scramble to get something, anything, turned in before the deadline.
And we wonder now why nothing works at launch.
This is one of many reasons why I think exams are worthless as a pedagogical method, and got rid of them from all of mine. They just don’t mimic any real world scenario.
In the real world, you can always look up and double check stuff. In the real world, if it turns out you were wrong you don’t just walk away and write it off, you go back and redo it. I think they encourage a useless and unproductive mindset. (To say nothing of the way they only test short term memorisation, not long term learning and understanding.)

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Good news: if you’re currently laying around and not producing anything, you are a credit to your species.
I’m an ant biologist and I’d like to point out that ants also spend a significant percentage of the time doing nothing.
Turns out sometimes the most evolutionary useful thing you can do is chill and not wear yourself to shreds, whether mammal or insect. It helps you deal with emergencies and adapt to change. Plus, you can act as living food storage!
That last part is probably more an ant thing than a human thing, but hey, live your dreams.
it’s also a bear thing, which absolutely explains me
Doing absolutely fuck-all is how antarctic sea sponges live to be over 10,000 years old, so live your best, longest, laziest life.
Remember lions? Fellow apex predators?
Yeah, they spend 16-20 hours of the day laying around, socializing, raising Cubs and napping.
The last 4-8 hours are spent hunting.
Wait wait, they’re not a primate so they don’t count.
How about Orangutans?
Well, they spend 90% of their time awake just hanging out in food-rich areas, eating fruit and leaves, socializing, raising children, and chilling.
Well, they’re not people so it doesn’t-
How about Stone Age people in Europe?
They probably worked 3-5 hours per day, every day. (Though seasonal changes in food scarcity could change that)
Laborers in ancient Egypt worked 8 hours, with an hour break at lunch. They did this for 8 days, then rested 2 days. That sounds familiar. Except… they also had regular time off for festivals and holidays, and only worked for about 18 out of every 50 days.
Artisans in imperial Rome generally worked from 6am to Noon, and then had the rest of the day off… and only worked for half the year, due to all the holidays and festivals they got off.
But that’s too easy, what about a Peasant in medieval England?
6-8 hours per day, with Sundays off, Farm workers put in longer hours at harvest time but worked shorter days in winter when there are fewer hours of daylight. Economist Juliet Schor estimates that in the period following the Plague they worked no more than 150 days a year, due to the long holidays and many festivals.
Ugh, let’s go poorer. 17th century France. Starvation was afoot for the working poor!
During the reign of King Louis XIV, the workers of France had it tough, and hunger for the poorest was a fact of life. The typical working day was as much as 12 hours long, but two hours were set aside midday for lunch and perhaps an afternoon nap. Nevertheless, the Ancient Régime is said to have also guaranteed peasants, labourers and other workers a total of 52 Sundays, 90 rest days and 38 religious holidays off per year, meaning they worked just 185 out of 365 days.
So what changed?
The industrial revolution, baybe~~
New factory owners could work their employees to the bone due to a lack of regulation and abundance of cheap labour.
The typical factory worker in mid 19th-century England toiled away for a soul-destroying 16 hours a day, six days a week, 311 days per year!
THAT nightmare became the standard by which western society began to judge “work-life balance” and anything gentler than the industrial factory’s unfettered brutality is considered “softness”
(So many people died being mangled in those machines. Hair handkerchiefs went into style during American industrialization because working women would otherwise get their hair caught in the machines, and be either scalped or be bodily pulled inside to die…. But that’s a horror for another time)
Americans in 2020 worked an average of 8.5 hours per day on weekdays, plus another 5 hours on weekends.
Taking out federal holidays and weekends, we work 262 days per year. Most of us get 5-9 sick days to take per year. (Yes, a fixed number, no matter how sick you really are), and usually either no paid vacation, or 7-15 days paid vacation, depending on seniority and the company. Unpaid vacation doesn’t have a max, but taking it often risks you getting fired.
Even comparing against the poorest laborers in ancient history the current working structure for humans is, frankly, inhumane.
We are mammals. Let us rest. Let us celebrate holidays and attend festivals. Let us attend to our homes and families.
Even the ultra wealthy folks who got their heads chopped off gave us more time off than this!!!
Someone in the comments said something like “humans are instinctively industrious and productive, as social creatures!”
Buddy, that’s a lie fed to you by capitalism.
In our default state, we attend to our families yes, but we also party like hell, lounge around, and make fantastic works of art just to be proud of ourselves. We made beautiful things for the joy of creating them.
Stone Age humans may have spent a couple hours hunting and gathering, but DEFINITELY spent loads of time painting every available surface. Time and weather washed most of it away, but some places like Arizona and Colorado still preserve a few of the endless murals made by ancient hands.
Evidence shows that the ancient world was COVERED in paintings and etchings - just saturated with images of birds and beasts and humans, sunsets and cool weather. We invented mythologies and painted about them. We did something impressive, and painted about it. We taught our children how to paint and lifted them into our shoulders so they could mark the ceiling.
In our most base state, humans will work enough to survive, but our instincts demand we use all other time to create art. We want to communicate. To make connections.
“Working” or “being productive” is not on that list.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
““I don’t hold with paddlin’ with the occult,“ said Granny firmly. "Once you start paddlin’ with the occult you start believing in spirits, and when you start believing in spirits you start believing in demons, and then before you know where you are you’re believing in gods. And then you’re in trouble.” “But all them things exist,” said Nanny Ogg. “That’s no call to go around _believing_ in them. It only encourages ‘em.””
— Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
Disabled/spoonie witches: remember, cleaning is cleansing.
Washing your face is cleansing. Taking a shower is cleansing. Cleaning your home is cleansing. Tidying up your space is cleansing. Doing the dishes and running a load of laundry are cleansing. Taking out the trash is cleansing.
If you don't have the spoons to do any extra cleansing, it's okay!
"Sir" not in a masculine way but in a "heavily armored knight with an ambiguous gender and a very large sword" sort of way.
Witchcraft: Crystal Shapes
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‘What would it be like, I wondered, to live with that heightened sensitivity to the lives given for ours? To consider the tree in the Kleenex, the algae in the toothpaste, the oaks in the floor, the grapes in the wine; to follow back the thread of life in everything and pay it respect? Once you start, it’s hard to stop, and you begin to feel yourself awash in gifts.’
Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and The Teachings of Plants
thinking about romcom break-up beats. thinking about romcom Let’s Go Get Our Damn Men Back beats. thinking about heath ledger’s marching band can’t take my eyes off of you, a big public declaration mid-film, versus buying her the guitar at the end of the film - an expression of yeah, i see you. thinking about mark darcy telling bridget jones that he likes her just as she is, buying her a fresh diary for a new start. thinking about julia roberts being just a girl standing in front of a boy, and hugh grant chasing julia roberts across london, standing up in front of a crowd to ask her forgiveness, to ask her to stay. thinking about julia roberts discovering how she likes her eggs and admitting she’s been trying to be the person everyone wants her to be, asking richard gere to love her as the person she is, turning in her running shoes.
thinking about how these beats go, so often, as can you see me now? and fumbling for the answer. thinking about stede failing to see ed beyond the shaved beard and the folded socks, failing to see his choices as being freely made, and about ed failing to see stede’s hesitations. thinking about it’s rotten work / not if it’s you. thinking about miscommunications. thinking about fear of becoming our past. thinking about his name is ed not just as a confession but also a realization - the reconciliation of all of his various pieces and parts and how love does not tear him apart but rather takes him as a whole, unifies all these personas into one man and the same he’s always been: ed, watching over stede, reaching out to shake his hand the first time.
thinking about these dramatic theatre kids and their fuckeries. thinking about the 1717 pirate equivalent of holding a boom box over your head. thinking about the 171 pirate equivalent of riding a horse into their wedding to stop them making a mistake. of chasing them through the airport. of meeting them at sunrise, through the fog, to try one last time. thinking about listing everything you know and love about them, and saying, when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
i’m thinking about stede chasing ed across the sea, trying to get his damn man back. stede, putting on fuckeries, using his theatrical chops, trying to make a declaration, trying to catch ed’s attention, trying to get him to forgive him. i’m thinking about ed turning away from all this, from everything that wants too much from him, from everything that looks like it might appeal to blackbeard, to the kraken, to calico jack. i’m thinking about stede trying and failing.
and then i’m thinking about stede, learning more and more about ed as a person. about ed, as a whole. thinking about stede adjusting his approach.
about stede being able, finally, to quietly say, i see you now. and i’m still here.
what i’m saying is, i want to see stede do the marching band bullshit and turning around and realizing ed’s already left. i want stede with a boombox over his head and ed closing the window on him. i want stede to try and fail and then for stede to realize it’s not about the declaration itself, it’s about seeing ed for who he is and learning how best to love him for him, not for the performance of him or the persona of him. just him.
he wants to be just ed.
stede has to learn how to love him that way.
SEASON TWO BABEYYY
#help i watched the silly pirate show and nobody told me it was gonna be heart-wrenchingly romantic
“And I wanted to protect the children. Keep them safe from all of the really bad things.”
The Tooth Fairy, The first Bogeyman, is one of my favorites from The Hogfather by Terry Pratchet.

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Honestly I should talk about the ace experience more. I don’t see enough. Like–obviously it’s dehumanizing to be repeatedly compared to robots or aliens but uh…sometimes it feels like that??
My husband will get all horny while I’m, I don’t know, changing out of sweaty gardening clothes. And I’ll be like, “But we have to make lunch?? I stink? Now is not a good time?? Logic?” And clearly it’s not about logic to him. He is experiencing the entire scenario very differently. And I’m here like,
Or the times where you realize that like, having an actual physiological reaction to attractive people is not some enculturated metaphor, and people are actually doing that all around you all the time, and you’re like, Ah, clearly my studies of human culture have been incomplete. I have missed a critical psychosocial component. Many things now appear in a different light. *takes notes on holopad*
friend: he’s so gorgeous I just want to lick him
me: that seems unsanitary
A species that has thrived relatively unchanged for millions of years, everybody