Damsel On The Moon

Oh...

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rereading tbosas rn and… you hg fans CANNOT deny Coryo was SUCH a diva before he lost his mind like 💔💔💔 shits tragic we lost a seasoned COMEDIAN 😔💔💔💔 he was soo sassy so dramatic so unhinged and SO funny 😭😭😭 I’m SOBBING y’all and I QUOTE:

• “The disgrace would kill his grandmother. It would be kinder to toss her out the window of the penthouse [then tell her they lost apartment]. At least that would be quick.” (STOP😭)

• “Ma? Was Coriolanus’s place about to be usurped by someone who referred to his mother as “Ma"? The cabbage and posca threatened to make a reappearance." (the way that last sentence is phrased is just- bliss. BYE he was genuinely so distressed)

• “Who were all these people hanging around on a weekday at the zoo? Didn’t they have jobs? Shouldn’t the children be in school? No wonder the country was such a mess." (yes ofc future president bc that’s what’s wrong with Panem- barely 18 and already sounding like a dad complaining about the entire country falling apart 😂)

• “He comforted himself with the thought that she was old and nobody lived forever.” (😭😭😭 he’s SO unapologetically UNHINGED) (rightfully deserved too that hoe Dr. Gaul needs to DIE)

• [referring to Dr. Gaul ofc] “How awful, Coriolanus thought. To have you be the first person in the world a baby sees." (GOD he didn’t even know how funny he was💔)

• “Ugh. Would it be possible to find two people less capable of love?"

• “Please die, Coriolanus thought." (❤️)

• “I just wanted to send her some WATER!" (WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY😭)

• “Should you tell your best friend his crush was a cannibal? Never a rule book when you needed one." (the whole canniabal thing had me CACKLING I won’t lie, poor thing was so disturbed)

• [After kissing Lucy Gray] “Coriolanus just shrugged. “What can I say? I’m irresistible." (LMAOO and the best part Festus deadass goes “I guess")

• “Oh, no, he starved to death! Quick, somebody get the bread!" (😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS UP. TEARS. LITERAL TEARS. top 10 quotes of all time)

• “How sad," thought Coriolanus, “to have no friends." (LMAOO CORYO WHYY) (plz be kinder to your boyfriend Coryo)

• “Oh, a ghost story. Ugh. Boo. So ridiculous." (when I tell you this book has me SOBBING dying on the floor I mean it. 😭 the sass is INSANE. bc wdym BOO?!?💔)

• “The last time Sejanus lost his appetite, he’d lost his sanity." (I actually SCREAMED when I read this 💔 it should be illegal to write something this funny and then just?!?? continue on with the story as if nothing happened?? 😭😭 SUZANNE.) (if I have my way this is gonna be my senior yearbook quote)

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moral of the story: u need to reread the Ballad and appreciate Coryo’s inner monologue bc it’s EVERYTHING 🥰 and these r only the moments I could RECALL 😭 I cannot believe how little attention Coryo’s insanely funny inner monologue has garnered… again, we lost a DIVA y’all💔