' wy

anyway, that’s how the internet spends a year speculating that ilya rozanov and cliff marleau have explored each others bodies. they are so all over each other and constantly tweeting gay shit about each other that ilya’s time with shane barely even gets a second glance. the first time ilya drags shane out to meet cliff, a photo gets posted on twitter and everyone is like “poor shane having to third wheel these two #ally”.

Like, on any given roadie the people sharing walls with the Hollanovs can expect to overhear:

- One side of phone calls between Shane and his mother where every third word is FUCK and Shane's voice gets higher the more he works himself up about whatever league drama is pissing him off that week

- Ilya yelling in Russian (Non sex reasons) (He and Svetlana are talking about Matheson in Colorado. Again.)

- Ilya gets hay fever real bad in Seattle and spends an entire night sneezing at EAR SPLITTING volume, each sneeze followed by a, "AHH!" from Shane as he is startled awake. Again.

- The Christmas wish lists of every Pike child and how they're going to be divvy'd up for the year. This conversation takes place in September.

- "I'm telling you, the penalty kill could be a work of fucking art if Haas--oh fuck, right there, don't stop--"

- As stated before, an objectively obnoxious amount of showering is happening. At one point LaPointe turns to Bood and says something to the effect of, "Crazy that Hollander takes TWO showers after every game, I guess he really is superstitious," and Bood just. Chooses not to engage.

- A thunderous and almighty BANG. This is the sound of Ilya's suitcase hitting the floor after it inevitably slides off the bed.

- "Shaaaaane, look at the livestream from the dog hotel--look at how cute! She is so sleepy, she's holding her banana like a baaaaby--"

- Vin Diesel's voice, unimaginably loud, at one AM

- Russian Yelling (Non sex reasons) (Sasha did something stupid)

- "Unh unh unh UNH UNH UNH--" (Squeak. Squeak.)

- Celtics game. Twenty minutes beforehand: "Fuck, Shane, how do I get ESPN on the stupid--Roku stick thing--"

- "Okay, look, your dad played the word veer--is not real word, right? Like, deer with a V? It's real? Shane, we can't let your dad win--no, it's not cheating, he gets Yuna's help--"

- Stuff about Rose Landry's upcoming film that they should probably all sign NDAs for even thinking about.

- Russian Yelling (Sex reasons. Probably. It sounds...ardent.)

- One time, for an entire night, silence. The day immediately preceeding this night and the morning immediately after are best left unspoken about.

- The sound of Shane's fuckass electric toothbrush for WAY too long. Seriously man it cannot be healthy to brush your teeth for that lo--oh. Got it. Okay. Where are my earbuds.

- "I mean, it's not like I'm sixteen anymore, right? It's just that sometimes I think she looks at me and sees a fucking kid still, and I get it, I get it--and fuck, babe, I know it's not fair to feel this way, she's the only mom I'll ever have, and you don't even--ugh--"

- "I'm so terribly sorry the hotel misplaced your bags, Mister Rozanov. If there's any way that we can...make it up to you..." [Giggle. Kissing sound. Kissing sound. Moan.]

Which is Troy never spends extravagantly on himself. I’m sure he has super expensive gym equipment or that his sneakers and workout clothes are way overpriced by a ‘normal’ person’s standards, but nothing super extreme.

But his mom’s birthday rolls around? That boy is dropping $5k on a diamond necklace like it’s no big deal.

Harris makes a passing comment about wanting to upgrade his laptop? Troy is up all night researching all the fanciest top-of-the-line models and how soon he can get overnight shipping.

The barista at Starbucks looks like she’s having a bad day? Troy is slipping a $50 into the tip jar without a second thought.

He sees picture of a sad-looking dog that’s up for adoption? Immediately donating thousands to the local animal shelter.

Harris’ mom says she always wanted to visit Greece? Troy is giving her and her husband an all-expense paid trip as a Christmas gift.

His therapist locks in and is like. Oh! Wow! So when is the last time you bounced on it?

And Ilya is like Well, never actually. We've never tried it.

And his poor long suffering therapist has to, in the course of her big serious grown up adult job, look this famous athlete dead in the eyes and say Well I'm prescribing you to bounce on it crazy styles. Medicinally.

David mentioned in TLG that him and Yuna "could only have one child" and that they even considered adoption after having Shane which implies they had fertility issues.

Imagine a young Yuna and David being all excited about the prospect of starting a family together only to be met with difficulties getting pregnant after months, maybe even years, of trying. Imagine the absolute heartbreak when they do finally manage to get pregnant only for it to end in a miscarriage. Poor Yuna probably blamed herself and David was probably doing his best to be supportive and strong for his wife while she was at a mental and emotional low. Maybe they take a break from trying for a little while to heal emotionally. When their spirits are in a better place, they decide to start trying again and to their surprise and delight, they managed to get pregnant again. Yuna is overjoyed but also terrified of another miscarriage happening so she and David do everything in their power to keep her mind and body as calm and stress-free as possible throughout the pregnancy.

After 9 months, filled with hope and anxiety, their baby boy Shane came to them in the spring.

wait. actually, i will allow people to have one (1) objection to these discussions and it's that they're barely scratching the surface. the game changers series does this funny and unfortunately common thing where its white protagonists are accidentally written to be racist because they reflect the white author's racism. ryan price's fetishization of brown west asian men, for example, is meant to convey that he's not over fabian, his childhood crush. but it's just racist and gross. ilya calling shane "pretty like a doll" and his attitude toward shane's heritage ("japanese or something," which is where he gets his looks from...? rachel what does that mean) are meant to be cute and innocent, but reading that for the first time legitimately made my skin crawl. what are these white man doing. where are the sensitivity readers hello????

Shane answers with a concerned look on his face. He's also wearing glasses. Huh. Troy didn't know he wore glasses.

"Barrett, is everything okay?"

"You wear glasses?"

Shane looks confused for a second, removes the glasses and explains they're just for reading. Asks if he's okay again.

It's only now Troy realizes that this might be the first time he's ever called Shane. He's not even sure they have a text string between just the two of them. Roz is usually a part of whatever they could possibly have to talk about. The embarrassment causes him to pause, just for a moment, before he remembers why he called.

"Yeah! Yeah, um— I was wondering if you, if you knew what I should….Harris is sick."

He's trying to explain but obviously doing a bad job of it. Shane scrunches his brow, then briefly nods to someone off camera. Maybe he should have just texted.

"Yeah, I noticed he wasn't at the rink today. Is he doing okay?"

"Yes. Well, actually, I don't know. He didn't tell me, I just heard it from Gen, when I realized he wasn't there." Shane still has a confused look on his face. "What should I bring him? If I want to go see him. Like, medicine and shit. I'm at Shoppers." He turns the camera so the camera captures the florescent aisle he is standing in.

"Oh!" Shane visibly relaxes. "Um, that's really thoughtful of you. I don't know, does he have any allergies to medication?"

"I, um—" Does Harris have any allergies to medicine? Is that something a boyfriend is supposed to know? Troy is trying to remember every conversation they've ever had while also trying not to have a panic attack in a Shoppers Drug Mart.

"That's okay, Barrett, he probably—"

"Heart! Heart issues. He had some heart issues. As a kid. I don't know, is that relevant?"

"Oh, yeah, no, that's good to know. If it's just a cold, I would probably just get him a cough suppressant. Nothing with ibuprofen in it, and you should be fine. Robitussin is a good brand."

Troy scans the shelves, trying to look for something that resembles whatever word Shane just said.

"Black and green box," Shane provides.

Black and green box— there it is. Right in front of him. He holds it up to show Shane, who nods approvingly.

"Okay um…" Troy looks around the store, a bit helplessly. "Is there anything else I should get?"

"You could get some throat lozenges, some tea, maybe some extra tissue boxes? Electrolytes are always important, too." Shane is acting like this is the most normal thing in the world, Troy asking for help on how to take care of his sick boyfriend. Troy is thankful for it.

"There's also this one restaurant that Ilya really loves, I get him chicken noodle soup when he's not feeling well. I can send you the address if you want."

Troy nods his head gratefully. "Yeah, yeah that would be great."

He goes to say something more but then bites his tongue. Thinks he should maybe ask someone else, or at least have Roz come and join the call so it's less awkward. But Shane has been so helpful already, and Troy's been an anxious mess since he realized Harris had called out of work and hadn't told Troy about it.

"You don't think—" He pauses, trying to find the words for what he's asking. "You don't think he's going to be mad, do you?"

Shane scowls in confusion. "About you bringing him food and medicine?"

"Yeah, I guess— like, I don't know if I would want to see anyone if I was sick. Honestly, I'd be a little horrified. And I don't want him to feel like he's a burden, either. I kinda want it to be a surprise or whatever, but what if he just…doesn't want to see me?"

"Well does he usually like surprises?"

Troy shrugs, then nods. Actually, Harris loves surprises. Usually. He's never been sick during any surprises before, though.

"Then you show up, and if he doesn't want you to stay you just drop everything off and leave. You can call him later to make sure he's okay, if you're still worried." Shane says this with a shrug, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Troy supposes it is.

"Okay. Yeah, okay, sounds good." They're both silent for a second, neither quite sure what to say after that unexpected intimacy. "Anyway. Thanks, Hollander."

"Yeah, of course. Anytime." And he sounds like he means it.

They both stay on the line for a second. Neither of them had technically said goodbye, but there really isn't anymore to say. Finally, Shane just hangs up. With anyone else, that would have been a little awkward, but Troy is so glad for that small kindness he breathes a sigh of relief.

did shane hate the baby leash? absolutely, the straps of the backpack were a Bad Texture, plus he just wanted to see what was happening two aisles over in the grocery store, or get away from the Very Loud And Scary Noise at the dentist, or go look at the water from the dock at the lake.

any time the baby leash came out he would get his angry kitty >:3 face, and yuna has a small collection of photos of little baby shane in his baby leash making the cutest little angry face.

What a comeback story this year for Ilya Rozanov. The captain did absolutely everything in these playoffs, leading his team in blocked shots and shots against.

you can’t grow up arguing with people on the internet without picking up how to absolutely roast people

even better he scrolls through hockey updates, so he always knows the biggest scandals and rumors around each player and where to hit them where it hurts

"Can you see me from up there, Grandpa?"