[ID: The full text of an article. It reads:
"Writing Advice": by Charles Palahniuk- In six seconds, youāll hate me.
But in six months, youāll be a better writer.
From this point forward ā at least for the next half year ā you may not use āthoughtā verbs. These include: Thinks, Knows, Understands, Realizes, Believes, Wants, Remembers, Imagines, Desires, and a hundred others you love to use.
The list should also include: Loves and Hates.
And it should include: Is and Has, but weāll get to those, later.
Until some time around Christmas, you canāt write: Kenny wondered if Monica didnāt like him going out at nightā¦ā
Thinking is abstract. Knowing and believing are intangible. Your story will always be stronger if you just show the physical actions and details of your characters and allow your reader to do the thinking and knowing. And loving and hating.
Instead, youāll have to Un-pack that to something like: āThe mornings after Kenny had stayed out, beyond the last bus, until heād had to bum a ride or pay for a cab and got home to find Monica faking sleep, faking because she never slept that quiet, those mornings, sheād only put her own cup of coffee in the microwave. Never his.ā
Instead of characters knowing anything, you must now present the details that allow the reader to know them. Instead of a character wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader wants it.
Instead of saying: āAdam knew Gwen liked him.ā
Youāll have to say: āBetween classes, Gwen was always leaned on his locker when heād go to open it. Sheād roll her eyes and shove off with one foot, leaving a black-heel mark on the painted metal, but she also left the smell of her perfume. The combination lock would still be warm from her ass. And the next break, Gwen would be leaned there, again.ā
In short, no more short-cuts. Only specific sensory detail: action, smell, taste, sound, and feeling.
Typically, writers use these āthoughtā verbs at the beginning of a paragraph (In this form, you can call them āThesis Statementsā and Iāll rail against those, later) In a way, they state the intention of the paragraph. And what follows, illustrates them.
āBrenda knew sheād never make the deadline. Traffic was backed up from the bridge, past the first eight or nine exits. Her cell phone battery was dead. At home, the dogs would need to go out, or there would be a mess to clean up. Plus, sheād promised to water the plants for her neighborā¦ā
Do you see how the opening āthesis statementā steals the thunder of what follows? Donāt do it.
If nothing else, cut the opening sentence and place it after all the others. Better yet, transplant it and change it to: Brenda would never make the deadline.
Thinking is abstract. Knowing and believing are intangible. Your story will always be stronger if you just show the physical actions and details of your characters and allow your reader to do the thinking and knowing. And loving and hating.
Donāt tell your reader: āLisa hated Tom.ā
Instead, make your case like a lawyer in court, detail by detail. Present each piece of evidence. For example:
āDuring role call, in the breath after the teacher said Tomās name, in that moment before he could answer, right then, Lisa would whisper-shout: āButt Wipe,ā just as Tom was saying, āHereā.ā
One of the most-common mistakes that beginning writers make is leaving their characters alone. Writing, you may be alone. Reading, your audience may be alone. But your character should spend very, very little time alone. Because a solitary character starts thinking or worrying or wondering.
For example: Waiting for the bus, Mark started to worry about how long the trip would take..ā
A better break-down might be: āThe schedule said the bus would come by at noon, but Markās watch said it was already 11:57. You could see all the way down the road, as far as the Mall, and not see a bus. No doubt, the driver was parked at the turn-around, the far end of the line, taking a nap. The driver was kicked back, asleep, and Mark was going to be late. Or worse, the driver was drinking, and heād pull up drunk and charge Mark seventy-five cents for death in a fiery traffic accidentā¦ā
A character alone must lapse into fantasy or memory, but even then you canāt use āthoughtā verbs or any of their abstract relatives.
Oh, and you can just forget about using the verbs forget and remember.
No more transitions such as: āWanda remember how Nelson used to brush her hair.ā
Instead: āBack in their sophomore year, Nelson used to brush her hair with smooth, long strokes of his hand.ā
Again, Un-pack. Donāt take short-cuts.
Better yet, get your character with another character, fast. Get them together and get the action started. Let their actions and words show their thoughts. You -- stay out of their heads.
And while youāre avoiding āthoughtā verbs, be very wary about using the bland verbs āisā and āhave.ā
One of the most-common mistakes that beginning writers make is leaving their characters alone.
āAnnās eyes are blue.ā
āAnn coughed and waved one hand past her face, clearing the cigarette smoke from her eyes, blue eyes, before she smiledā¦ā
Instead of bland āisā and āhasā statements, try burying your details of what a character has or is, in actions or gestures. At its most basic, this is showing your story instead of telling it.
And forever after, once youāve learned to Un-pack your characters, youāll hate the lazy writer who settles for: āJim sat beside the telephone, wondering why Amanda didnāt call.ā
Please. For now, hate me all you want, but donāt use āthoughtā verbs. After Christmas, go crazy, but Iād bet money you wonāt. End ID]
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