He has an actual job. No worrying about money in this relationship. and he works hard. (TikTok audio ref) men working they're not on Instagram talking about bullshit ↳ He would provide no question, and he wouldn't really care if his partner worked or not, as long as they put in the same amount of effort in some kind of equal way. If he thought his partner was overworking themselves, he would correct that immediately and take on responsibilities to equalize it

In 2026 and with the way some pirates canonically are, I gotta say this. He actually showers and smells good (source: I own his perfume)

Not to be that guy, but Smoker is 6’10” (209 cm). Come on. Also that’s not super unreasonable, especially for a male character’s height in One Piece

Even though Smoker is depicted to be a gruff, cigar-chomping man who’s no nonsense, his care and love for the people around him is shown in the most subtle ways, especially through subtext! So the argument that he would be an inattentive partner isn’t true. he would pay attention to the little things about his partner. Examples: ↳ During Punk Hazard when G-5 drew a line separating pirates and marines, he was the only one who followed their boundary and ate his lunch on the marine side since it was his men who did it ↳ During Punk Hazard, he defended all of G-5, no matter how many people said his men were useless, stupid, dumb, or otherwise, and even put Tashigi in charge of them to fight Vergo and make sure he didn’t harm his men further ↳ He stands up for Tashigi and encourages her to do better and actively protects her if he senses danger, despite most everyone else either objectifying her or viewing her as a clumsy girl instead of what she really is: a swordswoman and a marine captain. Even though he gets frustrated easily with her, he encourages her to trust her judgement and follow her instincts. He often trusts her with his subordinates ↳ Smoker treats everyone, subordinate or higher-up officer, as his peer, unlike most marines. (elaborating in next point).

Smoker does not abuse his power! VERY IMPORTANT ESPECIALLY WITH A PARTNER. He has a great sense of equality ↳ He doesn’t view himself as above or below anyone, even Tashigi, who is his subordinate and a woman (unfortunately, many men in his position would abuse this and look down on her). His relationship with Tashigi is strictly professional, showing how he views equality and his role in this situation. He stands up for her often: ——— With G-5 subordinates ogling and making passes at Tashigi constantly, smoker is seen yelling at them multiple times to leave her alone and focus ——— After the Alabasta arc, Smoker refuses to accept any medals or credit for Crocodile’s defeat especially because Tashigi is seen crying about it. (TELL THEM TO EAT SHIT) ——— During the Punk Hazard arc, he listens to Tashigi constantly, even if she defies his directives. He actively values her strength and opinion. He praises her often in canon after major losses, wins, and fights. ↳ He uses his position as a marine to stand up for what he believes is right, not exerting power over others (ex: protecting civilians from pirates) ↳ He actively questions the morals of the marines and the corruption of the world, not believing in any absolutes. He is reasonable and can be reasoned with. He’s an extremely honorable man. ↳ Kind of canon I guess? We can pretend. That cover story of Smoker getting a drunk Hina to take a camel taxi home instead of anything else already speaks volumes 

Smoker is kind to those who deserve it and does not have a sense of ‘absolute justice’ like most marines do. He follows his own set of morals which often lead him to making logical decisions that make him ally with pirates when it’s deemed appropriate. This would translate to a relationship as well because he wouldn’t care about mainstream relationship rules. He would do what works best for him and his partner ↳ Smoker is kind and protects civilians, even if he looks scary. re: Yu (ice cream girl!), Punk Hazard's trapped children, etc.

Smoker is good with kids! A man’s attitude towards children says a lot about him. ↳ Yu (ice cream girl) ↳ Punk Hazard children and taking care of them with Tashigi to get to Egghead ↳ Non-canon, but Daddy Masterson refers to him as ‘Uncle Smoker’ to his daughter Carol ↳ Smoker would be dad, but I think he would question making that choice due to the state of the world (both in One Piece and IRL) ↳ Before he knew better (and this also proves he makes mistakes because he's human; also putting this here because Luffy was a child), he led Luffy to the execution platform without questioning it because he cares about what he protects and wants civilians to enjoy his island: "Just follow the smoke, kid."

Once again, despite being depicted as serious, gruff, or even malicious, Smoker has a softer side. Excellent for a husband because then it can be reserved for just his partner, too :> ↳ Hina, a longtime friend of Smoker’s, even points out that he has a soft side and he tells her to mind her business LMFAO ↳ His hobbies (aside from gambling) are ceramic art/pottery and stacking stones/rocks. This man has a gentle side and appreciation for the fine arts and the mundane. These things can be meditative. <3 ↳ His favorite food is smoked chicken, which takes a long time to prepare and cook if you do it the traditional way, which he would prefer. He doesn’t mind waiting. Good things take time, and he knows this. :) ↳ Smoker only really gets annoyed when things disturb his peace. He really cares about keeping things stable, and this would include his partnership

Smoker seems grumpy, but he would love partners who compliment his personality. Opposites attract for him: ↳ If you think you’re annoying by being bubbly, he would act annoyed and then ask you why you stopped. Example: singing badly in the shower or being overly excited about cute things he thinks are whatever. If you got upset and stopped, he would ask you why you stopped because he secretly loves that about you and it brings light to his world. ↳ He would want someone who’s world on the view isn't as cynical as his. ↳ He would claim that he ‘doesn't have time for a relationship’ at first, but all the softer things about him are incredibly romantic; under the Vice Admiral uniform, he’s a man at the end of the day. 

This whole thing is kind of headcanon-y I guess, but I’ll get into that more here. THINGS THAT MAKE HIM AN EVEN BETTER HUSBAND!!! ↳ Smoker has been independent for a while now, so I definitely think he can cook and clean. His partner would never have to baby that man ↳ He can handle emotionally taxing situations without taking it out on others. He reacts logically and if someone he cares about or if innocent people are in harm’s way, he is not a bystander. He reacts! He is a PROTECTOR BABYYY ↳ He’s secure in his masculinity so he’s not really ashamed to do things that would bruise other men’s egos. He would carry that damn purse, he would go grocery shopping and wouldn’t be useless, he would never do disrespectful shit like smearing his partner’s face on his wedding day… all the good stuff. He would even carry his partner's uncomfortable shoes while they wore his, and he'd simply walk barefoot or use his devil fruit to bypass it LOL ↳ If his partner has a bad family, it’s fuck ‘em. Who cares? He only cares about protecting his own, and that applies to family (chosen or not) that he deems worthy ↳ He’s not very verbally affectionate, but during quiet moments or den den mushi calls, he’ll slip in a “love you” before hanging up because he’d get embarrassed at first ↳ He’s a brick wall to talk to when you’re first getting to know him, but I think the way he would enter a relationship is if his partner-to-be simply confesses they have feelings for him and they go on dates in the future ↳ He’d try not to smoke around his own children, instead using nicotine patches, gum, or simply have his cigars unlit around them, but keep them in his mouth out of habit