Happy I'm going home with me and me

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

Got to 12k steps before 7am that's a new record for me

when i do this it's usually from club hopping the night before 🫠

I go to bed at 9pm and wake up at 4:30am to walk we live completely different lives 🤣

just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon

okay so honestly i wasn’t expecting they’d be able to hide the body for this long

LINDSEY GRAHAM ?

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

i am largely out of touch with a lot of stuff and dont even know where it came from, but sorry nothing said or done will make me hate on 6/7 as meme. its part of the time honored tradition of dumb jokes that exist entirely to be dumb jokes that annoy your teacher. its added to the canon of Funny Numbers and in such an unavoidable way (69 and 420 are way up there so its rarer to see them in the wild, and neither 6 & 9 or 4 & 2 & 0 are naturally next to each other when counting, but you are forced to say 6/7 before you even finish counting on your fingers, no matter what, which is hilarious). as a moral and political stance i feel its important to protect the youth's right to whimsy and mischief, for therein lies the true democratic spirit suppressed by the state. gen alpha get behind me

help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time

help I'm having ideas beyond my available energy levels