Just me
Crying
Because I'm finally getting the therapy that I've known I needed for the last ten years
But I was afraid to commit to, or couldn't find a therapist, or didn't have insurance, or...
And now people tell me
There's something about you. You seem so much better now. You're more confident /calm/open now...
And I kind of can't believe it's real. I thought that the things I was struggling with were just who I was, the way that I would always be. I thought I, and my life, could not possibly ever get better, and I would always exist in a state of self loathing and struggle. Cursed to survive instead of really live...
I've still got such a journey ahead of me, but it feels so good to have finally started. I feel so relieved. Not totally lost and alone anymore
It makes me want to be able to tell everyone, if you're thinking of therapy just do it, don't hesitate, do it
Except then I think about how it's not as simple as that, because fucking not having insurance guaranteed in America and just not enough access to anything, and healthy, full living not being protected or defended and how cruel and medieval is that. And then the amount of therapists you have to call and email before you get a reply at all, especially a reply from one with openings for new patients...like you have to earn this basic necessity, and everyone should be more mad about it but also
Please don't give up if you're in that struggle. It's worth it and you deserve it. The healing that you finally get to. Keep going
