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So I have no more crushy crush atm, it just happens over time I guess, losing interest, feeling like you deserve better, feeling like things don't last forever and sometimes dating is not even attractive anymore. Was it ever??
I'm in a "really not into real humans atm, I'm happy to be alone in my cottage" phase and I absolutely remember why I prefer fictional ones ✨✨✨
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We recreated THE picture and I've never looked so hot.
I'm soon going to meet with my doc to speak about a potential autism and/or adhd diagnosis!! Things are slowly advancing.
I've been a witch for 8 years total! Yet I consider myself an apprentice (my cards even confirmed I'm more an apprentice than a baby witch) because I've only started researching around 4-5 years ago and as a spoonie I work extremely slow. My first spell was 3 years ago and i've slowly been working on things at my slow slow pace.
I think there's no need to rush, especially when you lack the health and energy, a lot of my practice has to rely on cleansing, warding, meditative states or grounding activities. It's already a lot for me so it's only appropriate that I respect my boundaries and learn slowly, move to a new topic whenever I am in the right mindset and got enough mental and physical strenght! Right now I'm finally looking into sigils and chakras!! Please don't push yourselves♡
Faceplanting madie for stress relief.
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Im really not ready for doc appointment like i cant remember the most important things i was supposed to talk about and my generalist is also ill now (i assume) so i might not be able to see her in a long while.
I'd like to thank the moon and nature for bringing such a magnificient month of october. This month has officially been the best one yet this year. I've been productive, slowly getting back up from chronic illnesses struggles of summer and feeling energized spiritually. I'm so pumped for this very special upcomming blue hunter full moon. I'm so excited I'm not sure what to do to bring an end to october and to celebrate the sabbat 😿 I've invited one of my dearest friend over and we'll cook, bake and make spell jars ♡
Not today. Not tomorrow. When then?
Sometimes with chronic illnesses it feels like your time to shine never ever comes anymore. Everyday is just trying, getting hurt,needing to recover, being too tired to try again, watch the day flies and ends, waking up abd wishing you wouldn't because it's stale and tiring to be so tired and in pain with no hope of a successful moment, of a nice day of satisfying work, of being able to be independant and not burden literally everyone. People had to carry me before, people had to help me out the bathtub, naked and ashamed, people habe to do my chores and my food like im some incapable old woman. And if I'm resting and playing games I feel like i'm a joke to everyone, I feel like I have no worth and that everything I build up and manage to do is just crushed by the fact I can't even bring money if it means being available everydays. The truth is it's just a slow death, I can't always win the fight out of spite,some days the war takes over and you just have you and your pain to collect.
