#xym

One of the upsides to being in quarantine is that, if you don't include my parents, I haven't been misgendered in forever!

Not having to constantly hear myself being referred to as "he" or "him" or "she or "her" is ... freeing!? Specifically, being nonconsensually referred to as such!

I once had a coworker introduce me by saying "Ry'n identifies as they/them" ... yeah ... no, my identity is extremely complex, but let's just leave it at nonbinary; people can message me and maybe I'll explain it depending on how comfortable I am with you.

There are five tiers of my pronouns; each applicable tier may use that pronoun and all before it.

they/them/their are my mandatory pronouns; if you don't know me, you may only use these.

xe/xym/xir is for anyone that knows me.

she/her/hers is for anyone I'm actually close with. (I once very-briefly went off on a coworker because she was exclusively using she/her; even though I know she meant well by it, she didn't have my consent)

any other non-cis's, preferably those I know, may refer to me as it/its/itz.

And finally, when it comes to he/him/his, as of now only one person has earned my explicit permission to use these pronouns.

Anyways, this was just a silver lining to quarantine I realized, and I figured I'd add onto it with an explanation I can point to for whenever the need will arise.

Hey Xym!

I had the same issue during my study years and I absolutely hated it. No one really understood that the only reason I got my good grades was because I felt the pressure so badly that I had to have them, I wouldn’t stop studying, and I got the same response when I asked for help. I know it’s a really difficult situation to be in, and it’s not something that seems easy to reach out for help for. Especially when you really fear for your grades because of these anxious worries and no one seems to take you seriously, it can put extra stress on not wanting to tell teachers or parents.

When it comes to study, try and detach yourself from all of these labels that people are putting on you and just focus on what’s at hand. Believe it or not there is a thing where you can over study. It’s important to try and make yourself a study schedule. Think of the times during the day when you are most focused and use those as your optimum study points. Instead of studying the entire day, use your study schedule. It could look a little something like this: (an example of mine)

8am – Breakfast (it’s important that you don’t skip on your meals and make sure to eat your meals three times a day with snacks to ensure you have enough energy, and to help make sure when you do study that you are as focused as possible)

8.30am – Yoga (I use this because it relaxes my anxiety, when I feel calmer I am able to study better)

9.00am– Study

11.00 – Rest (studies have shown that those who take breaks in between studying are more productive than those who don’t, even if they study for less total hours. This is because when you do study you are 100% there and available, as opposed to studying for say eight hours and feeling anxious the entirety of the time)

12pm – Lunch

12.30pm – Study

2.30pm – Rest

3.30pm – Walk (exercise helps to burn off that energy that may be stored up at this point with anxiety, it also releases endorphins so that when you come back to your study you are feeling good and motivated)

4.30pm – Study

6.30pm – Dinner

7pm – Yoga

7.30pm – Study

8.30pm – Shower and get ready for bed

Everyone’s study schedule will be different but they’re important and have been proven to show results when it comes to getting better grades and remembering test information. Another thing you could use, is making sure you use the same sensory stimulus while studying and then while taking the test. For example, every time you study, but only while you study, you write in black pen and you chew peppermint gum. Then when you take your test you write it in a black pen and chew peppermint gum, the sensory stimulation also helps with memories. Make sure that you are aware of what you will be allowed to write your test with if you do use this example, as sometimes you can only write in pencil, or only a certain coloured pen.

I know you don’t want to talk to people about it, but it may be a good idea to just let your teachers know how you are feeling towards your study and your grades. Let them know that it’s a stressful time for you so that if there are extra supports available you will be able to take advantage of them. If you don’t want your peers to know you are going to extra tutorials or anything of the like just let your teachers know and I’m sure if they understand your situation they will be more than happy to respect your wishes.

Just because you receive good grades doesn’t mean you don’t deserve the supports and extra study, everyone needs it lovely!

my one of my TADC ocs in the st laniers hospital AU