#xiolet

"I want to watch you." 

Violet quirked a brow. "Watch me?"

"I want to watch you with someone else." That confession about floored her and she found herself fumbling with the laces of her corset as she dressed for the day. Xaden approached her from behind, smoothly taking the laces from where she held them, her arms frozen at a rather uncomfortable angle, flexibility be damned. "I may act like a possessive ass at times, but I've been watching you, Violence. You can deny it all you want, but I know there's something between you and Liam."

She blinked rapidly before turning to face him as he dropped his hands from the finished knot above her tailbone. "I haven't touched him, Xaden."

"I'm not questioning your loyalty. I'm trying to figure out if you'd let him join us for a night or two."

She bit her lip, trying to gauge his sincerity. Xaden wasn't the type to test people. Not his friends, and certainly not her. Not like this. "And this night or two, we'd be doing..."

"You and I will negotiate the baseline if you say yes. I won't bring this up with Liam until I have your consent. Ultimately, I have the same end goal as usual." Her heartrate doubled as he stooped down to whisper in her ear. "I want to watch you lose control, preferably while you're filled with my brother's cock."

Holy. Fucking. Gods.

~~~~~

A smirk. A smirk was all it took for Violet to know Liam was well aware of Xaden’s proposal when he met her at her door two mornings later. “Liam.” She cleared her throat awkwardly. “Good morning.”

“Morning. Ready for breakfast?” She hesitated. “This is hardly the place to discuss the reason behind that look, Vi. I’m flattered by the invitation and I did accept, but if this is going to be awkward or you only said yes to make Xaden happy, then I won’t be upset with either of you for putting this behind us before anything starts.”

“I wasn’t going to—”

“Hey, thanks for waiting guys,” Rhi cut in. “Let’s go. I’m starving.”

“Yeah, for Tara’s—”

“Honestly, Ridoc!” It was hardly a secret and Rhi didn’t appear the least bit ashamed or embarrassed, but Violet was already on edge without thinking about other people’s sex lives. Let them think this was a best-friend-defense or something. The pair blinked back at her. “Sorry. I just need food before I deal with the morning crazy today.”

Liam snorted from beside her, but said nothing more, scanning the route ahead of them as they made their way to the mess hall. “So you really are interested?” she murmured. 

He swallowed, his jaw locking as his throat bobbed. “Violet, if you keep pushing all I’m going to be thinking about is the things I plan on doing to you tonight and I’d really like to enjoy my meal and attend formation and classes without a hard on.” She winced, feeling simultaneously guilty and turned on. “I will say this once,” Liam continued. “I am more than pleased by this arrangement so long as it’s what everyone wants. Any other concerns?” She shook her head. “Excellent. Get your food.”

~~~~~

“You’re nervous. Are you sure about this?”

“Yes, Xaden. I’m not having any doubts. All of us are fine with this, but the anticipation is killing me.” 

He hummed softly, continuing his path alternating between massaging knotted muscles and peppering tender kisses over her bare back. “And as good as that feels, you aren’t distracting me. Again, he gave that quiet hum, this time parting her thighs. Oh that might help distract her. His fingers just dipped between her legs when a patterned knock fell on Xaden’s door. She rolled onto her back. “Pity,” he murmured, licking his fingers clean. “But then, this will be just as fun, won’t it?”

He grinned as he opened the door to let Liam past the wards. “Hey, come on in.” 

“Thanks.” She watched the pair closely, hunting for any signs of tension between them or hesitation on Xaden’s part. Though she hadn’t known either of them for very long, she could read them well.

This was going to work out after all. “Hey, Vi.”

She felt her face heat as he did nothing to hide his slow assessment of her bare figure. Compared to the two of them being fully dressed, it was a bit awkward. Hopefully they’d be joining her soon, before things started feeling truly embarrassing. She cocked her head as Xaden sank into a chair about five feet from the bed. 

“Don’t tell me you two are going to sit around and chat while I sit here naked.”

He chuckled softly, exchanging a look with their guest. “Violet, I’m not touching you again tonight. I’m watching, remember?”

Her mouth popped open. “There’s no way you’re actually going to be able to keep off of me while Liam and I have sex.”

His smirk broadened. “Challenge accepted, my Violence.”

“Do you two need a moment?” Liam drawled, somehow reading into the levity of their mental conversation. 

“No,” Xaden said. “Don’t mind me. The limits are set and poor Violet’s been wound up all day.”

“Believe me, brother, I noticed.”

“No reason you can’t put her out of her misery.”

The corner of Liam’s mouth tilted up, almost imperceptible in the low lighting. He cocked his head slightly, making a small noise in his throat and slowly rolling his sleeves back—fuck, didn’t he know what that kind of shit did to women—as if he was contemplating how to start in on her.

“Come here,” he finally said. She almost shivered. Though he kept his soft tone, there was no room for hesitation or defiance. No, he and Xaden were two peas in a pod when it came to that. “Violet.” She shuffled forward on her knees, instantly relaxing when he cradled the back of her neck, his long fingers tangling in her hair, already free of it’s braid thanks to Xaden. “Okay?” he murmured, anchoring his other hand at her left hip. She nodded. “Words,” he ordered in that quiet command.

“I’m okay with this.”

“Good girl.” 

Before she could say a word his mouth sealed over hers, tentative for a moment. Or perhaps she was the one hesitating, because only a moment later he was adjusting the angle of the kiss, the stroke of his fingers dropping from her hip to rest between her thighs, the friction there and the soft sweep of his tongue coaxing her to give into him entirely. She whimpered, leaning into his steadiness, yet aching to be drawn higher.

She’d grown so used to the wild desperation she and Xaden shared that she was slightly off kilter now, both pleased by the change and all sorts of needy for more. Frustrated he wasn’t letting the intensity of the kiss grow further, she aimed for the one thing she could control, snaking her hand between them to try to stroke her clit. Liam caught onto that too, his grip around her wrist just firm enough to keep her hand pinned behind her.

Dragging his tongue against the roof of her mouth, he drew back. “This,” he began, cupping her center, “is mine tonight. Did I give you permission to touch what’s mine?”

Brothers indeed.

“Answer him, Violet,” Xaden growled from his chair. 

“No. I wasn’t given permission.”

The consequences were already making themselves known, bands of shadow folding her arms behind her back so her fingertips were brushing the opposite elbow. She pouted, wanting to touch him freely. “Be a very good girl for me and I might ask Xaden to let your hands free.” Without warning, he sank two fingers deep into her core. “Soaked for me, needy thing.”

“Liam, let me come, please.”

“Begging already?” He hummed softly, drawing out a squeal as he swept her off her knees and pressed her flat to the mattress, careful not to strain her arms. Xaden already had the thought to redirect his shadows, pinning her arms over her head. “Good things come to those who wait, Violet. Believe me when I say I’m going to take my sweet time with you.”

His fingers slid home once more, pumping in and out of her as he urged her to spread wider, making room for him to dip his head, his tongue flicking out and tugging her closer to the high she was so desperate to reach. She clenched hard and he paused, letting her fall away before reaching her climax. “No!” she wailed. 

Gods, he was a fucking sadist.

She let out another cry as he lifted one leg over his shoulder, holding her open so she was forced to take the next round, his fingers curling and his tongue stroking deep enough her thoughts could only come in fragments. She was so fucking ready. “Liam!” His teeth pinched down on her clit and she shattered, her orgasm rolling through in sharp waves. 

“Go on. She’s ready.” She gave another deep groan, still trembling as the rustle of clothing fell away and Liam’s fingers were replaced by something much thicker. “Such a good girl, taking his cock so well.”

“T-told you you couldn’t stay away.” She groaned again, surrendering to the sensations around her, Xaden’s nails scraping over her scalp as Liam dragged in and out of her, agonizingly slowly. Realizing her hands were free again, she reached for Xaden’s waist. “I want you both. Please?”

He smiled down at her. “Who am I to deny you when you ask so nicely.”

It only took a moment to maneuver them, getting her in a position she could tilt her head back over the edge of the bed. It gave Liam and Xaden full control over what happened, even without shadows pinning her. Xaden stripped out of his clothes. “You won’t have much control like this, sweetheart. If it’s too much I want you to pinch me, okay?”

“I will. I trust you both, Xaden.”

His worry softened to pure adoration. “I know, sweetheart. But I take no risks with you if I can help it. Ready?”

She nodded, dropping her head back as Liam slid into her once again, a little sigh leaving her as Xaden slipped his thumb past her lips, coaxing her open. “Our perfect girl.”

Her eyes fluttered shut as he guided his tip past her lips, gliding over her tongue. She dropped her jaw, opening her throat as best as she could. “Good, Violet. Doing so well for us.” That came from Liam this time. She liked pleasing them both. He jerked his hips without warning, startling her enough she lost her rhythm and Xaden once again had to center her.

She let herself go, focusing only on what would bring Xaden to the edge with her, accepting the overload of sensations as they increased their pace, bringing her to her second orgasm. Neither of them had finished yet. And they seemed deadset on pulling another out of her. She whined softly. “You’re doing so good, baby,” Xaden encouraged her. In all honesty, she was hardly doing anything to pleasure him anymore. “This isn’t about me sweetheart. You’re giving us everything and more right now. All I need you to do is give in to what your body is telling you.”

“I can’t come again.”

“You can, Violet. You’re gonna come one more time, sweetheart.” Another whimper left her. She wanted to obey. To please them. “I know you’re feeling a lot, baby. So I don’t want you to try and think anymore. I want you to close those pretty eyes and let your body tell you what to do. You’re not going to fight what your body needs. You’re going to let Liam and I take care of you.”

“Just relax, sweetheart,” Liam said, cradling her hips as he quickened his pace. She was getting closer, riding the edge as they alternated their movements, setting a rhythm that would let them all finish without jostling her too much. She was lost in it, pride filling her as Xaden let out a sharp breath, spilling down her throat. She clenched around Liam, hard, not bothering to muffle her scream as they took her over again, Liam deep inside her as he finally snapped. “Fuck.”

He leaned down, his breath rattling softly as he kissed her brow before easing out of her and letting Xaden step back in to cradle her against his chest. “Can you get that water off the dresser?”

She peeled her eyes halfway open as Xaden shifted her in his arms. “Here, sweet girl,” Liam said. “Water first. Then you can have some chocolate, hm?” She didn’t bother trying to grab the glass herself since Liam seemed so keen on hand feeding her the water and candy. “Good girl. Rest now.”

She sunk down into the pillows, relishing the warmth the men on either side of her seemed to radiate. “You’ll stay?”

There was a heavy pause and she peered up to find him waiting for Xaden’s cue. “This shouldn’t be… just one time. I like you here.”

“Sleep, Violet,” Xaden finally said. “We’ll both be right here all night.”

“Let someone else use one on me,” I correct him, lightly swatting his arm. “Let alone more than one…”

Xaden hums, a smirk playing around his lips. He’s in a good mood today. “It’s not so much different from sex without toys,” he says as he beckons me closer and opens the door. “Amazing for everyone involved, if you know how to handle your tools.”

Heat spreads across my cheek and pools in my belly as I step next to him. My body remembers all too well how well he handles his tools, after all.

However, when I take in his collection, my mouth goes dry. “Oh my…” I breathe, eyes going wide. It’s not that he didn’t tell me he had a good amount of toys, but… I wasn’t prepared for this.

Neatly sorted into row above row lie more dildos I thought any one person might need, and a lot more toys where I only partially can guess what they’re even used for. I see whips and plugs, clamps, and paddles on one side, then gags, blindfolds, leather cuffs, and a lot of rope on the other. On the ground, there’s a box with more toys, and only at the very top of the huge armoire are three small areas with Xaden’s neatly folded clothes.

His warm weight at my back is a welcome support as my knees grow a little weak, my breathing quickening. “So this is what you didn’t want me to discover the first time you took me to your room back then,” I murmur, grateful for his arms winding around my waist and his lips brushing against my temple. A grounding bit of normalcy.

“Didn’t want to overwhelm you,” he admits, then adds after a pause, “So… what do you think?”

I think this is the first time I ever heard any vulnerability in his voice, I think to myself, but I’m careful not to let him hear those thoughts.

“It’s… intimidating?” I admit. No hiding my feelings, it’s what I promised him. “You used all of these, I guess? I don’t even know what half of these are used for.” I shake my head.

“I did, yes. I can explain them all to you, or answer any question you want to ask. And we don’t need to use any of these either if you don’t want to. I’m just… informing you about your options.”

Smiling to myself, I turn in his arms. “But you want to, don’t you?”

There’s a strange look in his eyes, the same vulnerability I heard in his voice. “I’d like that, yes. But…” He shakes his head. “Violet, this is not something I’d ever force or even just push on you. Whether we end up going through this entire armoire and even expand it or never even use a single toy, I’ll be happy either way. This is not about what I want.”

Because all he wants is for me to be happy. He’s made that clear a thousand times since I learned about the secrets he’d kept from me.

I sigh. “I want to try, I think.”

“You think?” He raises an eyebrow, lips tilting into a smile at the familiar exchange.

“I know I want to try. But…” I bite my lip and avert my eyes. “Maybe not everything at once?”

At that, he laughs.

. o O o .

“Okay, so, which ones would you want to use first?” I ask a little while later. I got a short but good explanation for most of the toys. It got a bit overwhelming in-between… but mostly, I’m just horny now. Imagining all things he could do…

Xaden eyes me with a measuring look, then turns toward his armoire. “Generally, I’d prefer not to tell you. Let it be a surprise, you know?”

I huff a laugh. Of course…

“But as long as we’re testing whether this works, I’ll gladly tell you beforehand. So, for tonight… How about these?”

He picks a few items and places them in front of me onto the bed. There’s a couple of dildos in varying sizes, a bottle of oil, some pieces from the box at the bottom, sex toys specifically made for Riders as they’re powered by our lesser magic, and a thin black scarf.

“That looks… tame?” I say, inwardly relieved he didn’t pick any of the whips and paddles.

Xaden smirks. “If you say so.” he sits down across from me. “My goal as a… as a Dom is to please you. That’ll be my focus, to make you feel good. Over and over and over.”

I shudder at the implication, heat pooling between my thighs.

“And while some people find pleasure in pain and ‘punishments’, and I’m more than happy to deliver those if it’s what you desire, I would not go there right away. If you like those things, we’ll get there eventually, but with how you react to pain differently already, that’d be a slow journey.”

I nod, touched by his consideration. “And what’s this for?” I point at the scarf.

“It’s a blindfold.” Xaden picks up the silken fabric and lets it run through his fingers. The sight makes my throat go dry and I need to swallow. I can’t wait to feel those skilled hands on my body tonight. “Not being able to see will stir your attention to what you feel.” He leans in and, as if he’d read my mind, caresses my cheek, my neck, down to my collarbone. “And I want you to feel everything tonight.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

If he continues like this, he won’t get the chance to use any of his toys as I’ll be riding him to the heavens and back in two minutes at the latest.

Chuckling, he pulls his hand back, and I begin to suspect that he probably did hear my thoughts.

“I did, which is good. It means I can better gauge how you’re doing.”

I send him the mental image of a stuck-out tongue.

“And that I’ll be doing, too.”

There’s no way to win this, is there?

Turning my attention back to the toys in front of me, I notice something’s missing. “No restraining?” I ask, confused. That’s what made him open up to me about all this in the first place, after all, how turned on I get when he keeps me pinned.

“Oh, you won’t be moving anywhere,” he purrs, his shadows sliding up my legs and pulling my thighs apart. My breath hitches, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a damp spot on the blanket now from my soaked underwear. “But unless you specifically want to use the leather cuffs or ropes, I don’t need anything but my signet.”

Swallowing hard, I follow the retreating shadows with my eyes. “But I thought they aren’t as reliable,” I ask, recalling previous incidents where his restraints faltered when he lost himself to pleasure. Not that I mind, I love seeing him lose control with me. “Isn’t that why you have those things?”

Xaden becomes eerily quiet in an instant, his expression more serious than I have seen it in a bedroom in a long time. “Violet, this will be different from our usual nights. Usually, when we sleep together, we’re both tumbling down that road, together. We’re dragging each other further down, but if need be, either of us could stop at any moment and pull the other out of it, too.

“This is something else. This is… if we do this, then you’re giving up any and all control, trusting me to take care of you. You won’t tumble, you’ll potentially be in free fall, relying solely on me to catch you. My shadows will be restraints enough because I won’t lose control. I mustn’t. If I were to lose control tonight, then I failed you. I won’t let that happen.”

I can only stare at him, openmouthed. Slowly, I begin to realise what this is. It’s not just spicier sex. No, the sex is actually only the icing, the more important part being the ties we build, our relationship. Being able to let go, to trust completely, and to be worthy of this trust in return.

Slowly, I reach for his hand and card my fingers through his, then raise our joined hands to brush my lips against his. ”I trust you, Xaden,” I murmur as I try to send what I feel for him through our bond. All my love for him, that warm fuzziness only he makes me feel, the iron clad knowledge that he’ll always have my back. “You won’t let me fall.”

For the fraction of a second, Xaden’s eyes widen. Then, before I can react, he breached the distance between us and is kissing me. His free hand slides to the back of my neck, and I hum against his lips, my eyes fluttering shut at the exquisiteness of his mouth against my own. I’ll never get enough of this, of his lips, so soft and yet unyielding, his tongue claiming every inch of me, his low groans rumbling deep in his chest. It’s perfect.

But it’s also different, I notice. It’s not that he’s withholding anything, but I still feel the control he spoke of, how he dominates our kiss instead of the usual back and forth.

I can’t say I don’t like it.

“I love you, Violence,” he murmurs against my lips as we part, his forehead pressed against mine. “Gods, I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

Smiling, I raise my hand to caress his face. “I love you, too.” Maybe I’ll never know about all the demons of his past that still haunt him, but I don’t need to. It’s enough to know who he is, deep inside.

Xaden turns his head to brush a featherlike kiss against my fingertips, then pulls back, his eyes soft with emotions. “So, if you don’t have any other questions…?” I shake my head, my heartbeat quickening in anticipation. “Right. Then you only need to pick a safe word and we can get started.”

We’ve talked about safe words before, for various situations, to set boundaries. But I know this should be something else, something we’ll only use in this situation. So I’ve thought about it before and already came up with an idea I know Xaden will love.

“How about Squadleader?” I ask, grinning mischievously.

Xaden snorts a short laugh. “Yeah, right. If you think of him tonight then I definitely did something wrong.” He shakes his head, but I can see the humour glinting in his eyes. A part of him, the part that hates my former best friend, delights in my choice. “But it works. And remember: While I might check in on how you’re doing, I won’t stop. Not until I think you had enough or you use this safe word. Understood?”

I nod, but he shakes his head. “Say it. Use your words.”

I take a shaky breath. “Understood.”

“Very good.” He stands and places the toys onto the bedside table, and I can practically see the shift in him. “Now, come here. Stand and hold very still.”

I do as I’m told, curious to see how this will go. So far, our shared nights have always been wild, uncontrollable. Explosive, as he once described it. This calm and controlled version of him has always been the Wingleader and not my… whatever we are at this point. Mates?

When he touches me, though, all my worries evaporate. He cradles my face in his palms then lets them glide down to the back of my neck, like he’s done a hundred times by now, and kisses me. And even though the kiss is more controlled than usual, it’s no less heated. His tongue swipes through my mouth, claiming, demanding, and whatever resistance I might have felt melts away within seconds.

“That’s it, Vi. Relax for me.”

A shudder runs down my spine and my eyes flutter closed as he moves his fingers into my hair and expertly detangles my tightly fixed braid.

“I… I thought my hair is too distracting for you?” I ask, a little breathless already. With him all around me like this, I can’t help but deeply inhale his minty scent, and I have to fight not to ignore his first order and lean in toward his neck, to kiss and lick and suck and—

“Mmh,” Xaden hums, tearing me from my thoughts. “Usually, it is. Which is why I had to do this first. If I can stay in control with your hair down, then I can do this.” He runs his finger across my scalp and through my hair, down my neck, along my jaw and brushing against my ears. His touch makes me shiver, goosebumps running across my arms, and I mewl, feeling weirdly exposed yet safe beneath his touch.

He’s definitely in control. And I love it.

“Turn around.”

It’s an order and I follow. But it’s different from when he gives orders outside this room, warmer, deeper.

With great care, he unlaces my corset and puts it aside, then steps in front of me again. In his hand, he holds the black scarf. “Is this okay for you?”

I blink, surprised that he asks, but then nod.

“Use your words! Are you comfortable with me blindfolding you?”

A new shudder runs down my spine and my head spins. “Yes, I am.”

“Good.” He wraps the silken band around my head, once, twice. He makes sure to cover my eyes thoroughly, but only them, tying the ends into a tight knot above my ear.

As he works, a thought crosses my mind, and I can’t help but ask. “Why the scarf, though? Couldn’t you use your shadows for this, too?”

He huffs a quick laugh. “I could. But…” He leans closer, his mouth brushing against my ear. “I like the look of this better. It’s hot.”

Then he takes my hands and tugs me forward. “Come here. Onto the bed. Lie down on your back.”

With his guidance, I find the right position. It’s odd, I thought this would be awkward, weird, even funny, maybe. But it’s not. I’ve never felt so vulnerable and exposed, even with my clothes still on, yet at the same time so at ease. I know I’m safe with him.

“Now, arms over your head. Legs slightly spread. Yeah, just like that. Are you comfortable?”

I nod, then remember his earlier command. “Yes.”

“Good girl.” The little praise and his pat on my thigh do funny things to me, my breath hitching audibly, and I nearly miss the smile in his voice. I jump a little as his hand cradles my cheek, but then instantly lean into his touch. His skin against mine, it feels so good.

“I will restrain you now,” he informs me. The sober words should feel cold, clinical, but they have the opposite effect on me, my heart beating faster and heat pooling in my stomach. I know I can only feel the shadows because he wants it that way as they curl around my wrists and ankles. A moment later, the sensation is gone, but when I try to move, I can’t.

I yelp as, suddenly, the mattress beneath me drops away.

“It’s alright,” Xaden’s calm voice assures me. “I just lifted you off the bed so I can better remove your clothes.”

I frown but don’t say anything. Why didn’t he strip me when I was standing? Or let me do it, for that matter. However, a few heartbeats later, I get my answer.

Slowly, so excruciating slowly, my tunic glides across my skin. I can only guess that he’s using his shadows again to slide it off me, because his hands and mouth are otherwise engaged. I suck in a shaky breath as he explores every inch of exposed skin, thoroughly, kissing, nipping, licking me, every little contact sending little darts of pleasure into my core. He was right, not being able to see—and this entire setting, really—makes everything more intense.

“Xaden!” I moan when he reaches the lower edge of my ribs. This pace is killing me.

But Xaden only chuckles. “Patience, Violence. We have aaaaall night.” I groan when he finds a particularly sensitive spot, and he lingers there even longer, drawing slow circles with his thumbs on my skin.

He skips over my still bound breasts and moves on to my collarbones and then my arms, all the way up to my wrists and then back down again, to my shoulders, my neck. By the time he dips his tongue into my mouth, I’m a whimpering mess.

“Xaden, please,” I mewl between his slow kisses. “I… I need…”

Xaden shakes his head, his smile tangible against my lips. “All you need to do, Violet, is to relax. Whether you come or not, when you come, it’s not your concern tonight.”

My moan gets swallowed by his kiss. It’s not as heated or wild as our usual kisses, but no less intense. Xaden is fully in control, of himself but also of me. I want to kiss him back, but I can’t even lift my head to deepen the kiss or twist it for a better angle. I only get what he deigns to give, when he deigns to give it—and it’s hot.

He continues with my trousers, going just as slowly as before. His broad hands and soft lips glide down on the outside of my legs, then up again on the inside. It’s unbearably sweet, the way pleasure trickles through my body at his every action. Not enough to fuel anything but never giving me a break, either.

I’m almost content with him teasing me like this for a while when he finally reaches the apex of my thighs. Surely, he’s as impatient as I am by now. After all, I know him well enough. But instead of touching—let alone kissing—me the way I want, the way I need… Xaden merely blows a kiss onto my damp slip and moves higher again.

“F-fuck! Xaden, please!” I beg. I’m able to squirm beneath his touch now, so he must have loosened his restraints on my body a bit. But not enough for me to rub my thighs together or to arch up into his touch. “I can’t…”

“Of course, you can take it,” he murmurs, his breath tickling. He’s making his way around my belly button at this point, placing open-mouthed kisses against my hypersensitive skin. It’s driving me insane. “All you need to do is to give in.”

I whimper. I hear his words, but even though they seem to make sense, I don’t know what to do. How can I relax or give in when he’s constantly teasing me, flooding my body with sensations? Right now, he’s kissing his way along the seam of my silken black slip and I can’t cope.

“Xaden!” I mewl, pleading, but I already know he won’t comply. He said it himself, he won’t stop. Not unless I use my safe word. But as quickly as that thought crossed my mind, I’m already discarding it again. Because I don’t want him to stop, I realise. It makes bearing his delicious torture easier.

I manage to calm down a bit, to simply take his teasing, let it wash through me, and find relief in a different way; moaning freely, vocalising what I feel.

A shudder runs through Xaden’s broad frame above me, and he sighs. “That’s it, Violence. Just give in. Give yourself over to me.”

I want to. So I do it. Somehow, I’m sliding deeper into my own body, leaving the world outside for him to take care of.

. o O o .

Xaden

I feel the shift in Violet’s mind as clearly as I can see it. The way her whirling thoughts grow calmer, her body relaxes. She’s ready for more.

Without ever breaking contact with her skin, I move up, using my hands this time to loosen her wrappings and remove them, seeking the more intimate contact of skin against skin. Violet merely sighs as her breasts are freed, and I palm them immediately. They’re bigger than her wrappings and corset would suggest, still note huge but on her smaller frame, they look perfect.

“You’re doing so well,” I murmur as I gently knead her, my thumbs drawing circles around her nipples, getting closer and tighter with every round. Violet arches up into my touch and moans a little louder, but that’s all. No more pleading for more, to go faster. She’s not quite where I want her, but she’s on a good way. “Let me take care of you.”

She mewls and there’s a flicker of thought through our bond. Not words, but a sense of compliance, and I smile.

Gods, she’s so beautiful, in every way. Perfect. I take a moment to admire her, how she lies in front of me, completely open and unguarded.

When I see her there, lying on my bed in that submissive position and completely open for me to take her, a strange sense of calmness spreads in my stomach.

I expected this to be difficult. Usually, just being near her makes me hard, and every little touch or smile or unconscious movement prompts the urge to tear her clothes off and fuck her until neither of us can think straight anymore.

But instead, my heartbeat and breathing level out, my mind stops its constant whirling and settles on the here and now. On the woman that gave me her trust. On the woman I love.

I gasp at the sudden rush I feel. That’s always been it. Her trust in me, even against her mother or Aetos. It’s what destroyed my already crumbling resistance to the feelings I had for her. And now, she let’s me have her like this, granting me this ultimate trust.

I won’t fail her.

I lean over her to taste her breasts. It’s something I rarely do, rarely get the chance for. Usually, we’re fucking like animals before we even shed all of our clothes, and it’s not that I don’t enjoy that. Fuck, sex with her is… it’s more than anything else I ever experienced. Deeper, meaningful, more intense. The joining of our hearts and souls along with our bodies.

But having her like this for once, without any hurry, my driving need contained in that neat little box somewhere deep inside me… It’s amazing. I hope she let’s me do this again every now and then. And it’s more intense than when I did this with other partners before, too. With none of them, my feelings were even remotely close to what I feel for her. She’s everything.

I let my tongue swirl around her nipple and suck on it, lightly, while my hand works on her other breast, rolling and plucking at the rosy bud. I could do this forever, just indulging in worshipping her body, tasting her, feeling her warmth, surrounded by that intoxicating floral scent of hers. But the litany of moans and cries that drop off her lips, growing in urgency the longer I play, tells me she’s had enough.

“I’ll remove your slip now,” I inform her, but she barely reacts. It’s easy, my shadows moving her legs until the soaked piece of black lace and silk is on the floor, and I can comfortably settle between her thighs. Fuck, she’s so wet, glistening with her arousal. My throat goes dry with the urge to taste, to drink her down like a delicate wine. But not yet.

I kneel on the bed, her legs draped over my thighs, and let my hands glide across her skin. Her moans grow shorter, louder, her breathing quickening as I draw circles with my thumbs, growing closer to her centre with every round. I’ve reached her outer lips, moving them back and forth, when she starts squirming again, and I pause. “Don’t fight it,” I murmur. “Just let it happen. You don’t have to do anything, Violet. I’ve got you.”

She whimpers, and her legs, her entire body really, start to tremble with how tense she grows. I wait, rubbing her outer thighs in comfort. Eventually, she goes pliant again, and I sigh. “Very good. You’re such a good girl for me, letting me take care of you.”

I continue my earlier motion, massaging her outer lips until she’s positively dripping. Dragging my fingers through her wetness and listening to her high-pitched yelp, I bring some of her arousal to my mouth, moaning around my fingers at her taste. Fuck! She truly is the most delicious treat, addictive, so satisfying. I could drown in her and not complain for a second.

Just a little longer, I tell myself, suppressing the urge to simply devour her to my heart’s desire.

My fingers move further, teasing at her entrance and inching closer to her clit. But aside from her legs twitching on occasion, she doesn’t react, doesn’t buck her hips into my touch, doesn’t stiffen. Even when I start to draw circles around that sensitive little bud, her body stays pliant, her only reaction the raise in volume of her cries. She’s ready.

Exhaling deeply, I get off the bed and move her to the edge of the mattress. Then I sink down onto my knees in front of her, like she deserves, and lift her legs above my shoulder. Let the game start for real.

Without any more hesitation, I lean in and drag my tongue across her sex, all the way from her entrance up to her clit. Her taste is like an explosion in my mind, nearly breaking me, and her moan, the deepest and most urgent one yet, could easily kill me with its sweetness. Fuck, this is so good.

I take my time devouring her. I’m not going slowly or only tease her. No, we’re past that point. But I know what I’m doing, know her well enough to find the line I want to lead her on. So I push my tongue into her, exploring her insides and stimulating all those sensitive nerves around her entrance, and I play with her clit, suckling, biting, nibbling, writing my love letters into her heated flesh.

But I’m careful not to push her too far.

I don’t want her to come, not yet. I want to keep her on that edge of madness, want the pleasure to mount in her until her body can barely contain it anymore, to fill her with it.

So I keep going. My hands are on her ass or wrapped around her waist, holding her in place for me, my mind focused solely on her. On her pleasure, her body, the sense of mindless desire I get through our bond. Drinking in her juices and her delicious cries and moans, I groan as my cock pushes against my leathers. I’m not a machine, after all, and Violet is just too sexy not to react to, especially like this. But I shove my own desire aside. This is only about her.

Her body grows taut again, but I know it’s not her doing. It’s her body, her nerves burning with need as she trembles all over, and her moans shift to an endless row of short desperate sobs.

Outside, lightning cracks in front of my window.

Finally!

I allow myself a grin against her skin as more and more lighting strikes follow. Violet got so good at controlling her signet, lately. Making her lose control is… well, it’s fucking hot, that’s what it is.

But it also means I reached my goal.

“You’re doing amazing, love,” I growl. “Time to reward you.”

I bring my hand to her entrance, and my fingers glide inside her with no resistance. Fuck, she’s so slick, pulsing hot. She tightens at the intrusion, her walls clenched hard around my fingers. As if she’s sucking me in deeper. I can’t fucking wait to get inside her.

Later.

Smiling to myself, I crook my finger, bringing them just where I want them to be. Violet screams at the first brush against that spot, but I don’t give her time to process. I pull my fingers out directly and shove them back in, again and again, fucking her on my fingers, hard. Pushing against that spot inside her over and over as I harshly suck on her clit. No holding back anymore.

“Come for me,” I command into her mind. And she does.

Her scream echoes through the night, and the entire room rattles with the power she unleashes, her body spasming with her release. I wrap my free arm around her waist to hold her in place as I push her through it, feverishly giving her everything I can. More licking and sucking, drinking her down, and more fingerfucking with her walls clenching so tight it’s almost painful.

The night sky is all but constantly illuminated with her lightning, but I don’t pay it any mind anymore, my entire focus on Violet only. On how her body convulses with pleasure, how her scent permeates the entire room, her wanton screams and cries like music.

They grow quieter as her orgasm ends, but no less intriguing, urgent wailing as her body tries to come down from its height but can’t. Like so often when I go down on her, I don’t stop after her first orgasm, knowing how easily I can push her right into a second one. And today is no different.

It takes only seconds before her body gives in to the inevitable and she comes again on my tongue. It’s sweeter this time, a little softer after the explosive first round, but no less beautiful. This time, I only push her through it with my fingers, her inner walls fluttering around me, and I lift my head to watch her fall apart.

Fuck, she’s so beautiful. Almost radiating with the afterglow as her body sinks into the sheets like a puddle of pure bliss, a soft smile tilting her lips.

I keep my fingers moving inside her, but slower, not aiming to push her yet, and move to sit beside her. “Violet? Are you okay?”

Her breath hitches as if I startled her, and she giggles, like she’s not fully here with me. “Xa-xaden? Yeah, I… I’m good.” She giggles again. “That was… fuck… fucking amazing.”

My lips tilt into a half smirk. “That’s good to hear. But we’re far from done, Violence. This was merely the warm-up.”

Her breath hitches again, her body angling itself to where my weight depressed the mattress. “You didn’t think I’d leave it at two, did you?” I breathe into her ear.

A shudder runs along her body, a soft mewl slipping off her lips. “Xaden, I… I don’t kn—”

“But I know,” I interrupt her firmly. Staying in this old role with her is easier than I thought. Because I know she won’t have any qualms about using her safe word if it really gets too much for her. This is the woman who casually threw daggers at my head only a few months ago, for fuck’s sake. “You can take more, a lot more.” I palm her breast with my free hand, teasingly, and she whimpers, her hips rocking into my hand. “See? And you don’t even have to do anything, just let me take care of you.”

She whimpers again, but still leans into my touch as I caress her cheek, and her body becomes pliant again.

“Yeah, that’s it, Violet. Just let go.”

I lean down to brush my lips against her mouth, and my tongue dips between her instantly parted lips. A soft moan vibrates in her chest as she can probably taste herself on me, so sweet and sultry. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give her, wouldn’t do for her.

“I love you so much.”

There’s a flicker along our bond, but no words from her. Merely the sense of an echo of mine.

Smiling, I let my shadows reach for the toys. It’s time for round three.

. o O o .

Violet

Not being able to see is… an experience.

I’ve rarely been scared of the dark, and now with Xaden controlling the shadows, they’ve almost become something like a friend to me. So I thought, being blindfolded wouldn’t make such a difference, not when I can feel what happens anyway.

But this is nothing like I expected it to be. Feeling what he does means in no way understanding it, too. Like when there are suddenly two mouths suckling on my breasts. If the situation was different, I might have thought more about it. I’m sure he wouldn’t invite someone else without asking me, so that can’t be it. His shadows, maybe? But are they really this nimble?

A cry tears itself from my chest and all thoughts fly out of my head as the sucking grows stronger, harsher, something like tongues flicking against my nipples, over and over. Not being distracted by seeing makes the sensation so much more intense, and with how sensitive my body already is after Xaden’s earlier build-up, the only things left in my mind are More! Yes! Xaden! Fuck!

I hear him chuckle, briefly wondering whether I sent those thoughts through our bond, but ultimately, I don’t care. Not when pleasure coils deep in my guts, my mind growing hazy again. It’s a lovely feeling, not having to think. All I have to do is feel, and it’s more liberating than anything before.

Just like before, I start drifting, floating in an ocean of pleasure. I can’t control the ups and downs, only go with them, trusting in that he won’t let me drown.

My orgasm hits me out of nowhere, like a wave pulling me under, with no lead-up—or at least I didn’t notice any. I think I’m screaming as pleasure like fire burns through my veins and explodes in my mind, wiping it blank. I can’t feel my body clenching or shaking, don’t know what happens. There’s only this ocean, only me floating and waiting for the next wave, only bliss.

I want it to never end.

. o O o .

Xaden

I watch in awe as Violet comes, her back arching off the bed with her orgasm’s intensity. She didn’t feel it coming, just like I planned. I keep fucking her with the dildo in my hand until she comes down, then leave it to my shadow to keep moving the toy, slowing but never stopping.

My eyes catch on the suction toys fixed to her breasts, once again marvelling at their ingenuity. They work similar to our pens, containing shards of polomiellian gems to amplify minor magics, and it baffled me the first time I heard about these, but ultimately, it makes sense. Sex toys that, fuelled by a Rider’s lesser magic, can execute specific functions should be a very niche product given how small the target group is. But then, Riders have never been an inhibited lot, sex in all flavours is pretty common, and more often than not the motto seems to be The Kinkier The Better. And given that they also make the top of the social and economical structure, it’s no wonder craftspeople cater to their needs.

Either way, I’m not complying. These toys certainly fulfil their purpose. Violet was so focused on the intense stimulation on her tits that she barely noticed the toy moving in her pussy.

I lick some of her juices off my drenched hand—so delicious!—then wipe away the rest on a towel before carefully removing the toys from her breasts. Violet whimpers at their loss and I chuckle. Such a needy little thing, she is.

I let the automatism run out, then put them aside to replace them with my own mouth and hands on her skin. She’s so warm, so soft. I let my lips glide over her, tasting her sweat and listening to her sweet little noises. Comforting her after her climax and leading her to her next.

Still worshipping her every curve and hollow, I let my hand glide down her body and between her thighs. Fuck, she’s so wet. Of course she is, it shouldn’t surprise me. And yet, it does, throwing me off a little every time again. Just knowing that this is the reaction she had on what I do, what I give her. What she lets me give to her. It’s heady.

My fingers find her swollen clit and draw gentle circles around it, my head resting on her chest. Breathing her in and listening to how her heartbeat quickens with the next build-up.

For this round, I use a different dildo than before, a slightly curved one to better hit her g-spot, and a vibrating bead that’s clamped to her clit to get her off. I want her to feel it coming this time, want her waiting for it. Want to hear those breathy little sounds right before she shatters.

It’s as beautiful as ever, the way she shakes and arches, her noises, that wave of satisfaction, both mine and hers through our bond. I could watch her come undone in my bed forever and never tire of it. Lightning cracks, and I smile.

Next, I add a smaller dildo, slowly working it into her ass after preparing her thoroughly. Her moans turn higher, shorter with the fullness, her scream as she falls apart beautifully desperate. I can practically see how her muscles clench around the two toys moving inside her, and the sight is nearly enough to make me spill into my underwear.

I let my shadows move the toys for me and kiss her, fucking her mouth with my tongue. Stealing her breath and swallowing her muffled screams.

I switch out the toys against other, bigger ones, trying and testing what gets her and what not, combining different sensations, stimulations, keeping count on how many times she comes.

There is one combination in particular, one I memorise for future nights, that makes Violet go positively feral. One of the suction toys from before is fixed to her clit, its little ‘tongue’ moving quickly along with the gradually growing suction. In addition, I’m using another dildo, a magically fueled one this time, it’s bulbous head vibrating inside her.

I hoped this would be a good round. But when Violet comes—so quickly that it takes me by surprise for a change—her scream is louder, harsher than all others before, and she writhes so fiercely that I actually have to put effort into keeping her restrained. Outside, the night is bright as day with her lightning, thunder rolling like an avalanche across the keep. We’ll probably have some explaining to do tomorrow.

The power of her orgasm takes me by surprise, too, and before I know it, it rolls over into another one, just as devastating. It leaves her sobbing, her chest heaving, and I take a longer break than usual to comfort her after this, shifting her so I can curl around her, whispering sweet nothings into her ear until she calms down again.

It takes many hours, but eventually, it comes to an end. I can feel it in our bond just like I can see it in the way she sinks into the bed, hear it in the slight strain beneath her moans. She probably has another two or three orgasms in her if I were to push for it, but they wouldn’t be as pleasurable as I want them to be. She’s had enough.

For the first time this night, I remove all toys from her body, my hands only soothingly rubbing along her sides.

“We’re done, Violet. You did amazing.” She doesn’t react, but I didn’t expect her to. “I’m going to remove the blindfold now, then I’ll clean you up.”

After placing the black scarf back onto the bedside table with the other toys, I get one of the heat-preserving buckets full of water from the bathing room and, using the softest sponge I can get my hands on, wash the sweat and the sex off her skin. I start at her feet, slowly working my way up. I’m in no hurry, enjoying the aftercare even more than I expected. It’s just so peaceful, so intimate. Only when I reach the top of her legs, I move a bit quicker, more efficiently as I clean her up between her thighs. She’s so over-sensitive, no need to linger there longer than necessary.

By the time I reach her breasts, her eyes are open and she watches me through tired but clear eyes.

“Hey there,” I murmur, and I can’t help myself, I have to reach for her, to caress her cheek and brush aside a sweaty strand of her gorgeous hair. “How are you feeling?”

I’m rewarded with the softest of smiles. “Tired? But good tired. That was… wow!” Her eyes flutter shut, and she sighs.

I lean in and brush a kiss against her forehead. “Then you should sleep. We can talk tomorrow.”

Violet frowns and fights to open her eyes again. “But… but what about you?”

“I’m good.” I chuckle. I’m more than good. “I’ll just finish cleaning you up and head to the bathing room myself, then I’ll be with you again.”

Something flickers in her eyes, understanding probably, but she doesn’t have the strength to protest anymore. “Okay,” she breathes. She’s asleep oly a few heartbeats later.

Smiling to myself, I do just what I told her, taking care of myself to the memories of her coming undone in the bathing room, and quickly return to my room, cuddling against her back. In her sleep, she sighs and burrows deeper into my embrace.

I’m asleep before I can take a full breath of her delicious scent.

. o O o .

I wake up when Violet does, her typical morning twitching and little noises giving her away. With my nose buried in her hair, I take a moment to bask in holding her. I really am the fucking luckiest man alive.

Violet chuckles, the vibrations against my front doing funny things to me. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I reply, and my arm that casually lay around her waist tightens in reflex. But this is not the time. “How are you feeling?”

Violet hums. She turns on her back and stretches, and I pull my arms away to give her space. “I feel like my bones are made of jelly,” she giggles. “But I’m good. Great, even. Last night was… well, that was truly something else.”

I prop myself up on my elbow. “So, you liked it?”

Something flares in her eyes, something that makes my cock twitch in response. Fuck, what is it about her that makes it impossible to control myself when she’s around?

“I’m not sure ‘like’ is the right word. It’s too tame. It was… was... mind-blowing. Literally. I mean—” she laughs, a little bewildered— “I hardly remember most of the night. Only the ocean of pleasure, me drifting without control, and… and that, despite that, I was never afraid.” She gives me a soft smile that makes something inside my chest melt. “Oh, and I lost count pretty quickly. What’s the score?”

Chuckling, I shake my head. Leave it to Violet to be that one of her first questions. “What do you think?”

She shrugs. “Given how weak my muscles are, I’d say… somewhere around seven? Definitely more than the four I remember somewhat clearly.”

I can’t help myself and grin. Leaning down and nuzzling against her neck, I purr, “You came twelve times last night.”

Violet sucks in a surprised breath, then huffs it out again in one short laugh. “Guess that explains a lot. Twelve times…?” She shakes her head. “Fuck, that’s going to be hard to beat.”

I can’t help myself, I fall onto my back, laughing freely. I swear, this woman will one day be the death of me. But I love how untroubled I can feel around her, as if our biggest problem in this world is merely breaking our own sex marathon record.

“I take it you’re not opposed to doing it again, then?” I ask once I caught my breath again. It’s not that I expect her to be against it, but I still need to hear her say it, for my own peace of mind.

A blush spreads across her pale cheeks and she averts her face, brushing a random strand of hair out of her face. “Yeah, I’d… like to do this again. And maybe you can show me what some of those other toys are used for, too? But… maybe not every time?”

At her words, unbidden images flood my mind, of all the ways I could bring her pleasure, could make her scream, could make her body fall apart beneath my hands. But it’s those last words that make me turn toward her and brush a kiss against her soft lips. “I couldn’t have put it into better words,” I whisper against her mouth. Gods, all the things I’d like to show her, to try with her. But also… “Wouldn’t want to miss out on our wild nights.”

Violet chuckles, then pulls me into a deeper kiss, and I let her. I let her angle my head, let her place my hands on her waist, let her pull me closer until I’m on top of her, my weight barely held up on one arm. I’d let her do anything to me.

“Maybe I’ll take you up on that, one day.” she hums into my mind, and a shiver runs down my spine. Fuck, do I love this woman.

As our kiss grows deeper, more heated, I let my hand glide over her body, along her neck, squeezing at her breasts, and down her side to her hip. When I reach her thigh, Violet parts her legs to let me settle between them, and I lift it up and around my waist, grinding into her.

“Xaden,” she mewls as my cock glides along her slick folds. “Need you. Now.” She reaches between us and grabs at my cock, guiding me to her entrance. A flicker of “slow down” crosses my mind, but it’s gone in an instant again when she uses her legs around my waist to pull me in, and I sink into her velvety heat.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” I growl, my head dropping against her, my mind empty except for fuck yes more!

Violet whimpers, pained, but when I want to pull out, she shakes her head. “Just a little sore,” she gasps. “Go on. Slowly.”

Sighing, I do exactly that. Rolling my hips in the most unhurried of circles, I work my way into her, inch by inch, while my lips find hers again. I want to taste her moans, want to feel the vibrations of her groans as I push deeper and deeper until I bottom out inside her.

Violet sighs, and I swear I could come from that sound alone, so content, so soft. It nearly breaks me.

Keeping the slow pace, partially to regain at least some of my sanity, I pull out and push in again, my mouth never leaving hers. Her hands glide along my back, our tongues moving together in some unknown dance, sensual and so alluring. A part of me wants to stay in this moment forever, but my body demands otherwise.

Only gradually, we pick up speed, her heels against my ass spurring me on. Eventually though, holding the kiss isn’t possible anymore, but while I regret losing that contact, watching Violet writhe beneath me is just as good.

“Fuck, yes!” she moans after I adjust her legs around my waist and thrust into her at a better angle.

The bed is sturdy but still creaks with the force of our movements, the headboard slamming against the stone wall with every thrust. But I don’t care. All that matters is her, this, how tights she becomes around me, her needy moans, the way she clutches at my back and moves her hips to take me even deeper.

It's an uncontrolled frenzy, and I love every second of it.

I groan, my balls growing tight. “Violet!” I’m so close, won’t be able to hold back much longer. My movements become harsher, needy, and with my last strings of control, I focus on grinding myself against her clit, on giving her that tiny extra bit she needs to—

“Xa-xaden!”

Her cry tears through me like a lightning bolt, her clenching walls shredding my last bits of control. With a roar that might or might not be her name, I fuck into her with no restraints, losing myself in the rush of pleasure, in her, in how she quakes, spending myself into her lovely heat in a moment of pure madness.

I slump down next to her, both of us gasping for breath. And as we lie there, trying to regain control of our bodies, I realise something.

Staying in control has become an integral part of my life, of my self. Be it as a Wingleader, as a shadow wielder, as the one responsible for a hundred and seven innocent lives, or as being the dominant with most of my sex partners; being in control has always been vital.

Except for Violet. With her, I’ve never been in control. Right from that first moment on that turret, she’d challenged me, had kept me on my toes, made me question myself. Only with her, I don’t mind tumbling freely. Only with her, I don’t mind losing control.

With a serene calmness in my heart, I crane my neck and brush a kiss onto her hair. “I love you.”

And with a knowing look in her eyes, she smiles back at me. “I love you, too.”

. o O o .

AN: Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing. ☺️

Violet thought Tairn would be the menace. And he was at times, there in her head making demands to "better her health" as if he was the healer monitoring her and the baby and not a grumpy dragon who spent his free time torching innocent sheep. "I eat the sheep, Silver One. I do not torch them pointlessly like some malicious hatchling."

She rolled her eyes, sending the sentiment back at him as she curled deeper against Andarna's side, appreciative of the warmth from her inner fire and the massive tail wrapped loosely around her torso. As much as Violet loved the library, she'd been feeling far too cooped up lately without her regular flight time with her dragons. "I like the silver," she murmured, stroking her fingers along the iridescent scales before her. Andarna had grown comfortable in Aretia, no longer feeling the need to hide her chameleon-like gift and so she changed, sometimes once a week, others she'd keep a color for a season. Her other gift had become as entertaining as it was advantageous. It was one of Violet's favorite things to watch new cadets do a double-take when they see a dragon spring out from where ever she decided to camouflage herself to spook them on conscription day.

"I do too," her dragon returned, craning her neck to playfully nudge at Violet's loose hair. "You look pretty with it down like that. Younger, too." Violet hummed, almost drowsy curled up like this. Andarna never lectured her about how she shouldn't nap against dragons, which she appreciated on harder days. "What did the healer say this morning. You had your shields up. You really shouldn't have them up when you're so vulnerable, you know. Tairn and I—"

Violet huffed. Here was the real menace. "Andarna, you two need to make up your minds, because not so long ago I wasn't shielding enough from you guys. You either get silence from my sexy thoughts about my husband and the select information I relay to you or you get everything."

Andarna gave a soft growl. "You're my chosen rider. Our rider. We get to be protective if we want to and you don't get to complain. So what did the healer say?"

She sighed. "They couldn't tell us anything, Andarna. Nothing concrete. There's nothing in my family tree to explain why I am like I am. They said the baby is healthy, but I'm only two months along. A lot can change in a little time. I'm..."

Andarna made a soft sound. "It's okay to say you're scared. It's normal. Even dragons fear for their young."

Violet chuckled. "Oh, well, as long as it isn't just us puny humans."

She paused, realizing the female wrapped around her had tensed, raising her head from the frosted grass. A shimmering wing snapped down over her seconds before she heard a pair of riders land. "Hello, Andarna," she heard Bodhi say. "Can we join you?" The wing snapped back again, revealing a very amused Bodhi and Xaden, the latter of whom was already bending down to kiss her. "Enough of that, you two. Save it for the bedroom."

They both ignored him, naturally, Xaden turning his attention back to the dragon coiled around her. "May I have a turn cuddling my wife, Andarna?"

She gave him a smokey snort and he raised his hands in surrender. Enough said. "Tell him it's far too cold out here for a human to keep you warm."

"And hand him a sex joke on a silver platter? I think not." She gave Xaden a sympathetic frown. "Clingy and protective is quite the mix, you understand." Her dragon wasn't budging. "Andarna, if you wanted to fly some today, I bet you could—"

"No, Violet."

"Yeah, she's not moving until I decide to go inside."

"And when did you plan on coming in, love?" Xaden asked, brushing his thumb over her cheekbone, pink from the biting wind. "It's been nearly three hours. Dinner is almost ready."

"Don't talk to me about food," she groaned. To say the morning sickness had kicked in would be an understatement.

"Go inside and eat," Tairn growled.

"Well hello to you, too. Enjoy your solitude?"

"I do not know solitude, listening to you two all day. Soon she will be past her Adolesence. It will be a mercy on us all. "

"We'll find something light to eat for you," Xaden promised, oblivious to the woes of the bossy beast in her head. "Come with me."

With a heavy sigh, she patted Andarna's tail, slowly disentangling herself and braving the chilled air again. "See you guys later," Bodhi said, smoothly mounting Cuir.

Violet sighed, watching them launch into the sky. "I miss that already."

He kissed her forehead. "I know. I'm sorry." He nodded to Sgaeyl and she and Andarna flew for the hatching grounds.

"What if it was just low altitude flight without any big maneuvers?" she asked Tairn cautiously.

Violet grunted as her back met the gym mat for the third time in thirty minutes. "Damn." She wasn't so sure everything that she just heard pop was actually supposed to pop. "You know, I get thrown around enough during my daily training as it is. I don't need you beating me to a pulp after hours."

"Pull yourself together, Violence. If I realized just how sloppy you had gotten I never would have neglected this part of your training."

Negligence may not be the most accurate description of their current problem. The truth was that she had been brilliantly evading him since she had started picking up the tells her own dragon gave when he sensed his mate and her rider were near. Violet had seen Xaden face-to-face only a handful of times since his graduation and this was the first time in the two months since the wyvern attack she had let him close enough to spar. She thought it had been long enough—that her mind was set enough on the logical path that her leniency tonight wouldn't do any harm. She desperately needed to get her brain and her body on the same page when it came to Xaden Riorson. Because Violet Sorrengail never made the same mistake twice. She was not ending tonight by dragging Xaden to her private room.

And she was definitely not fucking him on the gym floor. Or any floor for that matter.

Eyeing her scattered daggers—the short blades he'd personally commissioned for her and had her take straight off his vest when he was still her supposed enemy—she shoved at his chest for the third time that night with every intention of starting again. He didn't budge. "Tell me what to do, Violet," he groaned. "You've been treating me like a damn plague every time I come back to the college with Sgaeyl."

"You said you'd give me the space I need, Xaden. Don't tell me you're already back to lying to me."

"I never—" He growled, his arms buckling on either side of her hips. "Fuck."

The steady tension of the night began to build far too rapidly for her comfort as need coiled within her. She tried to Ground herself. Tried to reach that door that would seal off the waves of Tairn's shameless arousal. But with Xaden practically trembling between her thighs she knew the night wouldn't be easy on either of them. If they tried to resist that urge rippling down the bond. They needed to separate now, or what Xaden was asking for she'd be all too willing to hand over. She hadn't tested his vow in those two months because she was terrified he would make a fool of her. But the logical part of her recognized he wouldn't hurt her again. It was a fear of her wounded heart. Hadn't he been the one to tell her that fear would only get her killed faster?

Her resistance shattered and she pressed a hand to his bare chest. "Xa—"

"Thank the gods." His mouth claimed hers in a brutal kiss as his shadows skittered out to clear the last of the unsheathed daggers off of the mat as he gripped her wrists, pinning them together under one hand and effectively immobilizing her upper body. "Thank the fucking gods and dragons too selfish to shield."

"You're welcome, Silver One." She stiffened, thinking back to how long it had been since she felt Tairn so prominently. "I can not fully protect you and see to my mate if you are at odds with her human."

This was a fucking setup. One Xaden was equally aware of if his smirk was anything to go by. "Meddlesome mother hens."

"Indeed they are." He hunched over her once again, his smirk somehow broadening as he used his free hand to lift the hem of her shirt, guiding it up to her bust as he trailed the path of his hand with those sinful lips. "So fucking beautiful," he praised her. Violet whined, giving a half-hearted attempt to free her wrists before he tightened his grip. "Just let me give you this, Violet. While we still have the chance." Before this war came to such a height where they'd never catch a moment alone. She nodded, aching for the familiar heat of his mouth on her skin. It had been a hard two months. Dipping his head, he trailed his lips from the top of her neck down to her collarbone. His hips shifted to pin hers as she tried to lift them to grind against him. It was fucking torture, feeling his hard body against hers and being able to do absolutely nothing about it. "Patience, Violet."

She glared at him, reading the slight taunt beneath his own need. He released her hands to peel her out of her top, chuckling when her free hands moved straight to his hair, dragging his mouth back to hers as he moved on to the buttons on her pants.

She followed that mental stream of night that she hadn't touched in months, likely broadcasting every emotion running through her at the moment. "I'm going to take my sweet time with you tonight, Violence. I'm gonna have you begging for me by the end of it all."

Fuck. "I don't beg," she retorted.

He pulled away from the kiss, giving her a wolfish grin as he peeled her pants down her legs to expose her damp panties. "We'll see about that." With that final piece of clothing gone, his attention returned to keeping her from gaining an edge, his shadows gathering to pin her arms again, leaving both of his hands free to touch her. She didn't bother fighting them. "Good girl."

She bit her lip, trying not to show what those two little words did to her. She honestly wasn't ready to identify it. The next time their eyes met she knew it was pointless. He could always read her too well. Still, he spared her the embarrassment of saying anything about it, instead reaching between them to stroke his thumb over her clit, two fingers dipping between her legs. "Fucking soaked," he growled out loud, shifting back until his head was between her thighs, those soft lips trailing up each leg as he positioned them over his shoulders. He was going to ruin her with nothing more than a stroke of his tongue. How the hell was she supposed to think of anything but this the next time she was training with another Rider on the mats.

Two fingers curled inside her and she gasped, the muscles in her legs tight enough to snap as Xaden hit that spot he knew made her see stars. And as that smirking mouth closed over her clit... despite what little time they had before everything fell apart, Xaden hadn't forgotten a single thing about how to please her. "Xaden, more." 

He kept his pace, his mouth still pressed flush against her as he returned his attention to the mental bond. "Are you asking or telling me? Because you're in no position to be giving orders, Violence."  He was moving unbearably slowly now, maintaining her need for him, but failing to bring her closer to orgasm. The bastard planned to edge her.

"This is my punishment?" she panted out. "This is what I get for avoiding you? Pinned down and edged until you get bored of the game?"

He raised his head to look at her, his gaze drowsy with his own lust as he met her eyes. "Violence, don't you know? This is a game I'll never grow bored of. Seeing you squirm is far too delightful and we both know you can't hold out for long."

He returned to his task, each stroke clearly at his leisure. "Now be my good girl and ask nicely for what you want."

There was the line in the sand. Xaden Riorson was a patient man, more than willing to take his sweet time with her tonight. He delighted in the game he created and didn't find any difficulty in a slow indulgence. She was the only one suffering tonight. 

Unless she folded.

Begged.

She twisted her wrists against his shadows, jolting the next time he brought her to the edge of release. "Xaden, please." 

He broke away and she whimpered. "Please what?"

"Please let me come." 

Satisfaction rippled down the bond between them and her body went white-hot with mounting pleasure. She clenched her jaw to keep from screaming as she finally fell over the edge, rolling her hips as best she could with her legs still slung over Xaden's broad shoulders. "So. Fucking. Beautiful," he murmured, silently ordering the shadows holding her to release. She could taste herself on him as he swept her into another feverish kiss, his fingers unwinding her braid and fisting in the silver and black of her hair. "I'll never get enough of you, Violet." He pulled away just long enough to ease out of his own leathers before seeking her mouth again. Knowing he'd be off balance for a few seconds, she took advantage of the time she had to get him on his back. "Vi—" Her name faded to a soft curse as she stroked the hard length of him. "Dirty tricks, Violence."

"Well-earned on your part, I'd say. You had your fun," she purred, sinking down on his cock inch by inch. Gods, she had missed that feeling. "Now it's my turn."

One hand anchoring at her right hip, he raised his other to her breast, rolling her nipple between his fingers. "You want to ride me, sweetheart? Go right ahead. One way or another I still get to watch as you shatter on my cock." The words sent a shudder through her and he grinned as her nails bit into his shoulders. His hand fell away from her breast, his fingers rethreading in her hair and tugging just enough to sting her scalp. "Go on, baby. Ride me."

~~~~~

His few memories of watching Violet come for him didn't do the actual sight of it justice. No memory could hold the exact expression on her face as she reached the edge of her climax or the little sounds that left her when she realized she needed help getting there. No memory could quite hold the arch of her body or the scent of her skin as she pressed up against him. And no memory could quite hold this moment. His Violet, half-asleep on his chest as they both came down from the rush of what they'd done.

"I'm never going to be able to go to my hand-to-hand training again without thinking of this. You're a terrible influence, Xaden Riorson." 

He chuckled. "I suppose a gentleman would have taken you to a bed first. But I never claimed to be such a thing. At least this way you'll remember who you belong to when your squadmates start ogling you during training."

"I'm not an object," she growled, sounding about as violent as a kitten as exhaustion continued to weigh on her.

"No. But you're still mine. Just as I'm yours, whenever you're ready to claim me again."

The fog of lust that triggered this all was behind them. And in its place was an understanding. He had hurt her, but he would never make that mistake twice. This could be the time they start fresh, but only if she was ready. "Well, Violet?"

"Come on. I want to get airborn before the flight field is super busy and people try to stop us for things."

Xaden chuckled. "Gods forbid we listen as leaders should."

She scowled. "You know that's not what I meant. But we haven't had a day for just the two of us in months." She threw her arms around his neck, tugging him down to press her lips to his throat. "I want to fly with you. So come on."

He hummed. "I'm starting to think you aren't speaking literally."

"Humans," Tairn grumbled, "either shield, or stop this and get to the flight field."  It was all too easy to imagine her dragon waiting there, tail swishing in agitation.

"Have a little patience,"  she replied, pulling away from Xaden. "We're on our way."

Lacing their fingers together, Violet tugged him towards the entrance nearest the flight field. It was a beautiful morning, the November air biting just enough as they climbed higher to warrant the winter-weight flight jacket the riders would be using through March. Violet smiled as the reached the top where their dragons and several others were either waiting for riders or taking to the skies. The curriculum in Aretia reflected that of Basgiath, especially now that the Navarrian school was under better leadership with the mind to keep things honest. With Threshing two weeks behind them, the novelty of being a rider had yet to wear off and the paired cadets were still flying as often as their classes and dragons would allow it.

Stopping in front of their dragons, Violet smiled. "Good morning," she chirped. "Ready?"

Tairn gave a soft growl. "You will not be flying today. You're in no condition."

"I'm fine. I even brought a heavy jacket. I won't catch a cold or something, Tairn." Her dragon straightened, standing tall enough she had no chance of mounting. Xaden dragged his eyes away from Sgaeyl, trying to puzzle out the private conversation she and Tairn were sharing. She shifted on her feet awkwardly. Their repuation as a bonded pair drew a lot of natural attention, but this display, refusing to let her mount, was taking the cake. She didn't realize being in a public disagreement with her dragon would be so humiliating. "Tairn, do you know something I don't?"

"Dragons do not carry pregnant riders. That, Silver One, should be common knowledge."

Her jaw dropped. "I'm pregnant?"

"Every dragon here knew it from the moment you arrived." His tone seemed to soften a bit. "And not a single one of them would disagree with my position on this matter. You are not to fly or spar until you've delivered the child."

"Violet, what did he just tell you?" Xaden asked, hesitant to pry.

She lifted her eyes to Sgaeyl first. "It is your place to tell him, Violet, not ours."

"Thank you." Though their first few years in each other's orbit had been more about cold assessment than anything else, six years down the road, Violet would dare to say the blue dragon liked her.

"She never disliked you, Silver One, but her fondness has grown."

"Vi?"  Xaden frowned. "Let's go talk. We can come back this evening."

~~~~~

"Care to tell me what you and Tairn know that has my wife looking shell-shocked?"

"That's for the girl to share," Sgaeyl told him, closing the subject entirely. 

"I won't be flying for a while," Violet whispers, hands wrapped around a cup of tea her sister insisted on fixing her when they crossed paths earlier. The two elder Sorrengails lingered like mother hens until Violet finally had enough and headed back to their room to have a private conversation. "A long while, actually."

"Is something wrong with you or Tairn?"

"Not... wrong." She lifted her eyes back to Xaden's, giving him a soft smile as she set her cup down on the nightstand on her side of the bed. "We've been trying for a while now." Her hand slid low over her stomach and he froze. "I didn't even realize until Tairn refused to let me mount this morning."

"Are you serious? You're..." He launched forwards, wrapping her in his arms before lowering them both to lay on their sides. "You're pregnant?"

She nodded, eyes bright. "I take it you're a little excited about that?" she teased.

He had been the one to suggest they stop taking birth control last year. Things had finally settled, they were ridiculously in love with their wedding long behind them, and things were as safe as they were ever going to be. There had been long talks some evenings about that future they'd build. What they wanted to see in the home they welcomed a child to, agreements and disagreements both. But they ultimately knew what they wanted for themselves and their children. A house full of love, where they didn't have to worry about what they'd faced in their own childhood. Their children would not be forced into one quadrant or molded into an obedient soldier.