ShipMistress' Shipping Harbour

>look inside bar

No, it’s like asking every Muslim post 9/11 what they think about Al Qaeda. It’s like being suspicious of any person who MIGHT look middle eastern.

Aka, fucking ridiculous and prejudiced.

How the actual fuck did we get from “learn to recognize fascist dog whistles and have a zero tolerance policy about them” to “selectively interrogate members of minority groups you think are suspicious about whether they’re one of the good ones?”

Bruh let’s imagine for a moment that two people walk into your bar:

Person A is not German, but is wearing a literal iron cross. You ask him if the literal iron cross is a Nazi thing. He says that sure, that’s maybe the origin of the iron cross, but obviously he’s not a Nazi, and you need to stop jumping at shadows. The iron cross is really just a symbol of resistance against modernity, and embracing tradition. He wears it because he believes it’s important to preserve ethnic divisions and maintain cultural purity. He thinks stopping modern degeneracy is critically important – in the politics, and also in the arts. There are a lot of sick, evil people out there who are trying to destroy communities, but groups like his are trying to resist that. “We’re stronger together,” he says. “That’s why we need to protect our own.”

Person B is dressed completely normally but he speaks with a German accent. You ask him to clarify whether or not he’s a Nazi right this instant because “all Germans are Nazis until proven otherwise,” and he tells you “fuck off, you racist piece of shit.”

"Jews think you can't criticize them"

"Vile stench"

"Victim complex"

"Global Jewry"

"Parasite"

"The extermination you deserve"

"The world is noticing"

"Clean Jewish people"

✅ Sheik is transgender and uses he/him pronouns

✅ Zelda is transgender and still uses she/her pronouns as Sheik

✅ Zelda is genderqueer but still uses she/her pronouns as Sheik

✅ Zelda/Sheik is genderfluid and uses different pronouns in different situations

✅ Zelda+Sheik is a system whose headmates use different pronouns

❌ making people feel bad about their preferred interpretation

😕 whatever Nintendo tries to do in the remake, probably

are the absolute most batshit insane heroes in the entire franchise

these two are intellectual loner siblings with archeology backgrounds who read and speak ancient egyptian, hire a dude directly out of prison to take them to a lost city of gold, and fight mummies literally with their bare hands. twice.

no one in these movies stands a chance against the carnahans. frankly they're lethal in how willing they are to make the absolute and most undeniably deranged decisions. jonathan pickpockets a dude on fire. evy's resurrected from the dead and immediately remembers how to use sai. they're racking shotguns from a cliff in this scene and then proceed to blow away half the antagonists.

I will take the excuse to yap while I take a break from writing! I just think that Violet would make an excellent feisty librarian and Xaden would kill as a seasoned adventurer who was betrayed and left for dead—only to be saved by a determined Violet on a treasure hunt, because he’s useful. Then kiss kiss fall in love, ya know?

Highlights from my dreams (besides Violet killing the silly drunk “I am a librarian” line and Xaden with long overgrown hair and a beard when Violet finds him only for her swallow her tongue when she sees him all cleaned up—both of which live rent-free in my head) include:

- Violet dooming the world because she read a book she shouldn’t have (on-brand somehow and hilarious)

- Xaden begging this 5’1 librarian to stop running into gunfights for the sake of his sanity! On his knees asking her to pretty please stop getting them into situations.

- Either Mira or Brennan as the sibling who won’t allow her to travel alone are interesting in different ways, but I feel like Mira has more capacity for chaos, especially depending on who would be Ardeth in the AU. They’d obviously be a flier. I’ve even played around with the idea of both of them, with Brennan showing up later after booking it across the world like “you guys couldn’t have waited for me?” and immediately being suspicious of Xaden.

Basically it’s the story of Xaden + the Sorrengail siblings traveling through Egypt for a book (and/or history and/or treasure depending who you ask) only to be forced into saving the world against an evil foe (who leaves behind desiccated bodies not unlike venin, which is just a neat parallel). They work alongside a group of ancient warriors (fliers) while dodging another group of exploitative explorers with whom Xaden has a history (you know who).

I never wrote much of it but it does have a special place in my heart. Violet and Xaden arguing about every single move along the way until she’s swooning and he’s willing to stand between her and anything, even the end of the world… that hits the spot.

In between reading, I wondered who might fill the role of Jonathan, and your idea totally works. But hear me out: Ridoc.

Would Ridoc pickpock a dude on fire? Yes.

Would Ridoc follow his sister around trying to keep her save while constantly roasting her for her stupid decisions? Yes.

Would he berate Violet for her choice in men while still being secretly impressed by Xaden? Yes.

Would he find himself surrounded by enemies zombie forces and pull off a great performance of pretending to be one of them? Yes.