"Do you sing, Loki?" - LOKI FANFIC
This is a Loki fanfic (one-shot) I wrote almost a year ago, based off a drawing my best friend told me to do, followed by a phase of listening to Wardruna's songs only. This is the drawing:
In this story I use two songs: "Grá" by Wardruna, and "Helvegen" also by Wardruna, but I chose the Kalandra cover of this last one. I'll put the YouTube links of the songs when it's "time to play them" while reading.
I wrote this in Spanish, but after episode 3 of the Loki series with everyone going crazy for Loki singing, I asked if someone wanted to read it in English and two people ( @lucywrites02 and @lokislovingvalkyrie ) said they wanted to... so here it is.
Wanda absentmindedly stirred her coffee, staring at Loki as he read, and she then let go of the thought that appeared in her mind without previous warning.
The question seemed to take him by surprise, because he looked up frowning and focused his eyes on her with a serious face.
“No, I do not sing,” he replied briefly, before looking back to the open book he held in his hands.
Wanda didn't think about giving up, because she saw something hidden behind his apparent rejection. Why, if not, did he look so worried and frowned his eyebrows so much as he pretended to keep reading? Up until she had asked the question, a slight smile danced on his lips as he read the novel’s lines, but now his eyes were fixed in the middle of the page, as if his mind was far from there.
“Don't you know how to sing, don't you like to sing, or don't you want to sing?” She asked, tempting her luck.
“All three,” he replied, without looking at her.
“At the risk of raising your ego, you have a beautiful voice, Loki,” the witch said, leaving the coffee cup on the countertop and resting her hands on her hips. “I bet you also have a wonderful singing voice. Why don't you want to?”
Loki delicately closed the book and left it by his side on the couch before standing up and walking to the table that served to eat, work, study, and all at once. He sat on the corner, resting one foot on the crossbar, and leaving the other on the floor. Wanda followed him with her gaze, attentive and full of bewilderment. What was going on? Had she said anything wrong?
“I sang, many years ago,” he said, after a moment of silence. He had raised his eyes to the ceiling, with his gaze absent in the memory. “The culture that worshiped us, the Vikings, emerged in history in the Midgardian year 793, with the raid of the Monastery of Lindisfarne. That was the appearance of the Vikings on the European political scene. Europe knew about them since a little earlier, but they had never been given importance, until they began raiding and attacking other areas. The annals and chronicles of the following centuries are replete with terrifying accounts, due to their violent actions, and the Vikings and their descendants had a great influence on European history. In the British Isles they ruled for many years until finally being defeated by the Normans, descendants of Vikings who had received lands in Normandy, or France. The end of the Viking period is often dated as the fall of the King Harald Hardrada, who was killed at the Battle of Stamford Bridge in the Midgardian year 1066, while attempting to take possession of the territory of England. Danish historians extend the date to 1085 with the end of the reign of Canute IV of Denmark. While Norse influence remained relevant, the Normans’ acculturation, the military victories of other states, and the Christianization of Scandinavia meant the end of the Viking activity as it was known.”
There was a moment of silence, which Wanda did not dare to break. She had nothing against history lessons, even less so if Loki narrated them in such an appealing way, but she didn't understand what that had to do with singing. However, she remained silent without deflecting her eyes from Loki, and eventually he took his gaze off the ceiling, fixed it on her, and smiled as if he had just noticed her presence.
“Sorry, I was beating around the bush. I wanted to give you an overview and I think I confused you even more.”
“No, no,” Wanda waved a hand. “It doesn't bother me. But I don't see the connection with my question. Keep telling me, though, if you want. It's interesting. I never knew much about that culture.”
Loki stared at his hands, wandering away back into his thoughts. Wanda couldn’t help admiring him from afar. That god was an artwork from head to toe. She laughed quietly at the thought of it, but Loki started talking again and she paid attention to his words.
“Apart from history, the Vikings adored us because they knew us. I was born in the Midgardian year 800, so I was already three hundred years old when the Viking Age came to an end. This gave me the chance to come down to Midgard and meet them personally. They did not get to praise me as a protective god because...” Loki smiled longingly, still staring at the palms of his hands. “Well, let me just say I liked to create chaos everywhere. But I still integrated myself quite a bit into their culture, very backwards compared to the one we had in Asgard, but no less interesting. While Odin, Thor and the others were praised, engaged in battles and all that drama, I spent more time getting to know the Vikings as individuals, their families, their society, their language and, above all, their music. Today nothing is known of Viking music. There are no records, nor any kind of score, and few instruments have been found in archaeological investigations. Viking music has been erased, lost, or so everyone believes. Among the many human groups and singers who play the 'Viking' style, there is a band called Wardruna that is supposedly like the others, playing what is believed to have been the music at the time, based on the few instruments found. The reality is that the lead singer was enlightened by the runes, and the music he plays is exactly what was played in the Viking Age. Of course no one would believe that, so it is thought to be mere folklore.”
Wanda had never heard of the band he mentioned, in fact, it had never even crossed her mind to listen to Nordic music of any kind. Sure she was dating a Norse god, but she was really in the dark about his ancient culture. She had never thought of asking questions, nor investigating; she simply lived in the present. Loki hadn't mentioned anything about it either, ever.
“Do you know Wardruna?” Loki asked, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.
Wanda shook her head, shrugging. On top of that, she also didn't fully understand what that whole Viking music story had to do with the face Loki had put on before, as if her question had deeply affected him. He was behaving strangely, and she wasn't quite figuring him out.
“You said you sang before. What did you sing? And why don't you sing anymore?” She asked, tilting her head.
Loki let out a heavy sigh and clicked his tongue. He was definitely behaving weird.
“I sang with the Vikings. I composed songs that they sang afterwards, and some of them are now Wardruna’s. I stopped doing it when that culture died out, because I had no longer a reason to do so.”
“You could have kept doing it.”
“And sing for whom? For the Christians? Nice show.”
Wanda shut her mouth. Loki clicked his tongue again, this time sounding frustrated, and then raised his hands in a strange way. Wanda didn't have time to ask, because a golden glow grew between Loki's fingers and spread, forming the figure of an instrument she had never seen before. The closest thing she could think of was a harp, but this one was small and looked more like a combination with a guitar.
“It is a kravik lyre,” Loki said, answering her unspoken question. “Now shut up and listen carefully, because you are not going to see me do this again. I had left this behind, and I only show it to you because you are you.”
Excited and suddenly impatient, Wanda nodded with energy and sat on the top of the kitchen bar to listen. Loki took a deep, slow breath, and then his fingers ripped the sound out of the strings into a soft three-note melody that he repeated eight times, before opening his mouth and beginning to sing in a low, deep voice.
“Eg hugsar ringen før den brotna…”
Wanda didn't understand a word of the language he was uttering, but her breath seemed to have stopped in her chest. She had been right, absolutely right. Loki's singing voice was different from his voice when speaking, and infinitely more beautiful. Loki kept singing the end of the last word for a few seconds without letting his breath waver, before falling silent and leaving only the same notes of the instrument repeating over and over again. And then suddenly he sang again, now on a higher note and sending a shiver through the witch’s entire body.
“Songen din rørar djupt i meg… som taumar rakt frå minna dreg… Eg finn ikkje ord, dei er for meg gøymd… men det er noko gamalt, det er noko gløymd…”
The harp's notes changed of melody, and Wanda felt like she was dragged forward, as she took one step, and another, and another, until she reached Loki's place. He looked at her in the eye and she raised a hand without planning it, following the song’s call. Her fingers touched Loki's forehead, right in between his eyebrows, and the world changed.
The darkness absorbed everything, and Loki's voice fell silent along with the lyre’s notes. Wanda stood there alone, in the midst of the nothingness of that other reality, until a slight coppery glow flashed in the night and the crackling of the fire broke the silence. A wolf howl startled her in the distance, followed by others, surrounding her, far away. The color of the fire grew brighter and she found herself standing next to a campfire, and Loki's silhouette was on the other side. His face was dark, barely lit from below by the flames, but she knew he was looking at her. He no longer held a kravik lyre, but in his left hand was a kind of flat drum, and he held a stick with the other. She held her breath, he opened his mouth and went back to singing the same thing he had sung a few seconds ago. This time the words made sense to Wanda even though they were in that strange language, because she extracted the knowledge from Loki's own mind. His voice echoed in the night, much deeper and more serious than it had been in Wanda's house.
A wolf howled closer, with a strangely beautiful melody in its howl. Loki continued to sing.
“I remember the ring before it broke…” And in the last word he began to rhythmically hit the skin of the drum he was holding, shaking the ground beneath Wanda and the blood in her veins with each beat.
More instrument sounds rose around the campfire, and Loki was no longer alone. People dressed in animal skins and faces in the dark accompanied the melody with rhythmic beats of different tones, all following the same song. Loki raised the note of his voice.
“Your song stirs something inside of me… like chords pulling directly from memories… I cannot find the words, they are still veiled…” His voice went down again, dragging her into the bowels of the earth on a deeper note. “I still know it is ancient, I know it is been forgotten…”
Chilling female voices rose at both sides of Wanda, following a beautiful, ancient melody without words as Loki continued to beat the drum with the same rhythm as at the beginning. Wanda's heart felt like it was beating in unison with his.
“I remember when you wandered freely…” Loki intoned, and his voice surrounded the witch like a whisper in the air and a tremor in her bones. “I remember when we were wandering together… I remember us before our paths parted… I remember the ring before it broke… Always cautious about you, and you about me… Always cautious about me, and I about you…”
The wolf howled again and its figure appeared next to Loki, but he showed no sign of having seen it. The women's breaths followed the rhythm like a moan at the same time as Loki's drum, but he suddenly stopped playing and they raised their voices again so wild and at the same time so ethereal, and he resumed his beat just an instant later, with redoubled power. Sounds surrounded Wanda with ferocity, and the people around the campfire danced in a tribal circle, accompanied by wolves. Loki's voice, powerful and ancestral, was heard above all else.
“You can run into my woods… Wander freely in my mountains… Direct your herd to my valleys… Let us restore the ring…”
The drum stopped, and only Loki's voice and those of the women remained.
“I will sing to you so you may be safe on your way… I will sing to you so that you get home safely.”
The echo kept the last note, the fire stirred and extinguished in a blow, and all the people and animals disappeared. Then, a devastating emotion pierced Wanda, and it took her a moment to realize that it was not felt by herself, but by Loki.
The nostalgia felt like a knife in her chest, puncturing her from side to side. Both longing and melancholy, so strong that they suffocated, cut off her breath and she found tears on her own cheeks. She felt the urge to retreat and cut the bond between their minds, but their hearts still shared the same heartbeat and although she didn't see Loki's face, she could imagine he was crying. So she took a deep breath and tried to give him something, which maybe wasn't even comfort. She walked through the memories of Loki's songs and immersed herself in the words, and her sweet, deep and stinging voice pierced the silence with a sound so pure that it hurt.
Who's going to sing to me?
Into the death-sleep sling me
When I walk the road to Hel
And the tracks I tread are cold, so cold
Whilst the deepest of wells
Brought me the harshest of tears
From the Slain-father's pledge
Who's going to sing to me?
Into the death-sleep sling me
When I walk the road to Hel
And the tracks I tread are cold, so cold
Early or in the day’s end
Still the raven knows if I fall
When you stand by the gate of Hel
And when you must tear yourself free
Across the bridge of Gjöll with my song
You will be free from the bonds that bind you
You are free from the bonds that bound you
The fair fame one has earned.
The reputation of a dead man
She fell silent. Loki's laughter shocked her and filled her ears and thoughts. At the same time as the laughter, she felt the sadness, and behind it she experienced a deep gratitude. Loki's hand held hers and pulled her fingers away from his forehead, causing Wanda to return to the reality of her own body and be able to look at the god in the eye.
As she had suspected, his eyes were full of tears, but he laughed. She couldn't help but laugh the same way, and she couldn't stop the tears either from running down her cheeks.
“Do you realize how ridiculous we are?” The witch asked, still laughing and crying at the same time. She didn't even know why.
“What on Yggdrasil gave you the inspiration to sing?” Loki replied in the same way.
“I wanted to comfort you, I guess. Did it work?”
“It was a surprise, I must admit. Hearing you sing in Old Norse is not an everyday thing.”
“But I am a Norse god, it makes sense. On the other hand, you did not even know what a Viking was until I explained it to you.”
Wanda laughed, sniffled and wiped away her own tears with her sleeves before drying Loki's with the same method. He let her do it, and she realized that the lyre had disappeared at some point during the conversation.
“Did you compose those two songs?”
“During my time as a poet.”
“To be honest, Loki the Poet sounds very strange. I would have never thought of it.”
“I have several angles,” the god said, flashing her a wide smile.
“I already realized that. I love your angle in bed.”
“Oh, look at her, the witch came out as a pervert.”
“Don't lie, you already know.”
Wanda hugged him by the waist and rested her head on his chest as she laughed to herself. She listened to Loki's heartbeat for a long time as he caressed her hair and drummed with his fingers on the witch's back, following some melody. Wanda's chest filled with warmth. Deep inside she felt that, even if Loki had said it would be a one-time thing, he had actually unlocked his fear and sadness, and perhaps he would dare to sing again. If only for himself, at least. The god snorted slightly through his nose and she knew he was laughing because he had read her thought.
“In your dreams,” he muttered.
“Uh-huh,” she said, and she knew that she had won the argument when he didn’t reply back. At some point he started humming the song she had sung before, and she just smiled.
