10/April 2021
2200 I observed the date of today, why does it feel meaningful - 10042021 = 1, maybe 1004, but I felt like 090421 was somehow important as well. However, I find it easy to find a meaning - why, I see what I want to see.
I haven’t been in the mood for life for the last couple of days. I guess the reason is that I’m ignoring myself and my soul’s crying. But I re-discovered music I used to listen, with a different feeling. And it made me feel excited. Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing what I probably should be doing, anyway I’m sure I’m getting there, but who knows when, haha.
I wonder if the universe is making fun of me, testing me or is just giving me another lesson. In my own company, I feel like I haven’t learnt anything in the last couple of years (but it’s not true, and I’ll realise that eventually). Am I letting go of my life, or should I let go - of what? Everyone has a story to tell.
One thing that no one can take from me is the belief that everything is possible. Even if no one believes you, it’s enough if you believe it yourself. What is this plane I’m living on. It’s fun to daydream, but then I’m asking myself why am I doing this to myself, if I let myself fall in too deep. 44 Why am I feeling, what am I even feeling. 2259 Now I feel better.
Sometimes I feel like I know. Have a nice time. 1111
