The facial twitching makes me feel like I am going to lose it- this is a symptom I only started developing after an extreme migraine episode I had a month ago. Now it seems like twitching now comes with every migraine I have.
I first started experiencing migraine Aura in the form of scintillating scotoma at age nineteen out of nowhere, after never having had it before. Since then, I've had this off and on for migraines throughout the years, but not with every migraine, and not even always with a headache.
Now I'm having nerve spasms and twitching- usually in or above my left eye and or right eye, in my feet, shoulders, and fingers. It continues for hours and hours on end, coming and going.
As I stated before, this developed only after I had a major migraine episode at work- in which I started shaking and struggled to think or talk and had migraine Aura for around forty minutes straight. Now as I've been getting migraines since then, I keep getting some form of twitching with them.
Please pray that this subsides. I am already planning on finding a job with insurance, because I've been very interested on how to get this to stop.
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Walking by the bathroom mirror, stuck my tongue out, and my vision blurred where my tongue was. I stuck it out again (wasn't walking too fast), and my vision blurs again round the tongue. Weird.
I just had a migraine visual aura stop as a tiny little speck and in literally a few seconds I would not properly see out of either eyes because the aura filled my vision that fast. I am not exaggerating, I noticed the tiny speck of aura and in the few seconds it took for me to grab my meds from my bag the aura spread to the point that I could not read. I think that's a world record and in related news, I am visiting urgent care as so as I am able to because what the fuck. That should not happen. I think is has something to do with my eye photophobia suddenly getting so much worse so quickly over the last few months. There might be something wrong with my eyes and I'm very worried
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Currently experiencing the first signs I get of a migraine: a visual aura. It has moved enough out of my vision that I can see, and a headache will smack me in the mouth in about 20 minutes. Hoping to asleep by then.
If you don't get these, this is the closest thing I could find to represent what mine looks like. I don't have a blindspot quite like that. I tend to get tunnel vision blindness and lose peripheral vision (usually out of only one eye - this time right).
Honestly, this is for @eatyourdamnpears and everyone else encouraging my silly whims
CW: Description of migraine visual aura, migraine, sick whumpee, some consensual spice refs/flirting at the end
It starts as a dot in the center of his vision, a bit of gray he can’t quite see around. Jake frowns, closes one eye and then the other, but it’s there in both of them when he tries to look at the clock on the oven. He checks his text messages and there it is, little gray dot, making it... not impossible, but difficult to read the message.
“What are you doing?” Kauri asks the question from the doorway, standing with his shoulder leaning on the frame and his arms crossed in front of himself, wearing nothing but one of Jake’s shirts, hanging off his frame in a way that somehow makes him seem more graceful, not less.
“Go get pants on before Ant comes down and blacks out from blushing so hard,” Jake says, voice still upbeat, but... is the spot getting bigger?
He picks up his phone and types in ‘signs of seizure’ into Google.
Nope.
‘Sudden changes in vision.’
Oh, well, the potential answers to that one are definitely fucking terrifying.
How about... ‘gray dot in center of eye’.
“What the fuck is retinal detachment?” Jake mumbles, squinting. The dot is definitely getting bigger, and it’s in both eyes, not just one. So... not retinal detachment, unless his eyes both did it simultaneously, which seems impossible, but...
Google seems very convinced he might be dying. That is not comforting him at all as he tries to read around the spot.
“Jake?” Kauri pads across the kitchen tile on bare feet, and his hand presses cool to Jake’s bare back, long fingers against his spine. “What’s up?”
“I’m having a weird-... a thing in my eye... or my eyes?” Jake leans slightly back into Kauri’s touch. He hasn’t stopped being grateful for Kauri’s presence, and so deeply aware of it. It feels fragile, whatever is happening now, even though Kauri has always been made of steel underneath his insistence that he was nothing but tissue.
“What kind of weird thing?” Kauri moves around him, to lean his back against the counter next to the stove, head tilted to look up at Jake.
Jake looks down at him, tousled black curls and the way his face has changed with time, cheekbones and jawline more prominent, but his eyes have never been anything but the widest, brightest blue, and he can see Kauri through the arc that the gray dot is forming in his vision as it expands.
“I can’t-... I keep seeing gray,” He confesses, shaking his head - and he feels pressure there, a sense of something just... sitting behind his eyes, over his eyebrows. Like the weight of a small animal is there, and getting heavier. “Just, like, a dot, but it’s getting... bigger. And... like, breaking up?”
He tries to look at Kauri again, and the dot is a half-circle now. There’s a flash in the rounded curve of it, and then another. Then a third, but this one is colors, and there are small rainbows flashing lights along the arch as it grows.
“Am I-... is this a fucking seizure? Or a, a brain tumor? Or...”
Kauri, to Jake’s shock, laughs. “Oh! No, Jake. No, that sounds like - you said it’s getting bigger?” He reaches up, going up on his toes as Jake leans down, and presses his cool hand against the side of Jake’s face. “Is it, like, turning into a circle? Do you see lights?”
“Um... yeah. Yeah, like, like a fucking rainbow strobe light on the right side.” Jake closes his eyes, and the pressure is getting worse.
“Jake.” Kauri’s voice is soft. “You’ve got a migraine. Or you’re about to have one. When did you last sleep through the night? Or, like, at all?”
Jake snorts. “You’re one to talk.”
“Answer the question, you.” Kauri pokes him in the side, with gentle affection, and Jake wishes he could focus on his face around the widening, flashing arch at the right side of his vision. At least it’s sort of framing Kauri, now, and Jake wonders at Kauri just... here.
No backpack by the door next to his shoes, ready to run. The backpack is in Jake’s room, and it’s empty. Kauri’s fucking... pet Roomba Keira is in her place of honor in the living room by the Christmas tree. One of the new rescues is convinced they can fix her broken wheel even though it’s been actual years since Keira could roll around on her own.
For her part, Keira informed Kauri in that... unsettling metallic female voice that her visual sensors were enjoying the shifting colors of the Christmas lights and that she didn’t mind playing a sort of living Wikipedia for the rescues - all former Romantics - learning about a world they were forced to forget.
Keira reported to Jake that the most common question she received was some variation on how many pets run away, and how many go back?
The numbers are getting bigger - and the amount that end up back in WRU custody or with their former owners is going down. That alone drives Jake to keep working, harder than ever, to give as many as he can somewhere safe to land.
“I don’t know. Chris is here for Christmas break, we have new rescues, there’s-... just been a lot going on, and-” He sighs as Kauri’s hand moves up, thumb rubbing soft little circles just above his eyebrow, and the pressure building behind his eyes seems to lessen, just a little, at the touch.
“So the answer is that you’re stressed and not sleeping. So this is definitely a migraine. Is it still getting bigger?”
Jake opens his eyes and looks down at Kauri’s face, giving a slight smile. “Uh, yeah. It’s... almost all off to the right, now. You’re pretty with a rainbow around you.”
“Well I’m gay as hell, so I should hope I look good in rainbows,” Kauri says, smiling with his nose scrunched up the way he does when he’s not being self-conscious about it, and then he takes Jake by the hand, pulling him back across the kitchen. “Come on, you. Time to lay down.”
“Kaur, the rescues will wake up any second now-”
“Antoni can feed them as well as you can - way better, honestly. He can just reheat those little pocket things with the cheese in them.”
“... Hot Pockets? I don’t think-”
“No, the thingies. The, um. The pirouettes?”
“Piroshkis?”
“Sure, that sounds right, too.”
“Well, pirouette is a ballet term-”
“Jake. Not important. Let’s just be happy I remember anything at all. Come on.”
Jake doesn’t feel like he follows Kauri so much as, like always, Kauri is a planet on its own orbit that Jake is drawn to, has always been drawn to, long before he could have had a moment with him like this. “But Chris-”
“Chris is twenty-three years old,” Kauri points out. “More or less. He can take care of himself, and right now you need someone to take care of you. And trust me, I have a lot of experience with migraines - and so does he.”
The rainbow flashes are fading out, moving so far to the side of his vision that they are effectively gone, but the pressure is still building and Jake squints against the way the first hints of sunlight hurts, a little, to see coming through the windows. “You do?”
“Of course I do.” Kauri’s legs are pale where they show under the hem of the big shirt he wears, and Jake swallows against the way something in him stirs at the sight, but that bit of pain that had come with seeing the sun isn’t leaving. It’s getting worse. “When I stopped blacking out, I started getting headaches, migraines, lasted for days. Fucking hated it. I used to get them in training a lot, too.”
“You did?”
“Mmhmm.” Kauri pauses, briefly, at the top of the stairs. “When I relearned how to read, and when I looked at myself again, they came back. But I had to keep trying, anyway.” He glances over at Jake and gives him a slight smile. “All that time I spent trying to figure out what you were seeing when you looked at me. Migraines come with the territory.”
“Why don’t I know that you were getting headaches?”
“Because I didn’t tell you about them. We’re, um. We’re good at ignoring pain.” Kauri smiles, still, but there’s something a little more brittle in it now. “Chris got them, too, learning to read. And... probably before. But everything-... hurts so much, in training. You get used to doing everything with the pain instead of waiting until it’s over. You don’t have a choice. There we go, I’ve distracted you with a sob story long enough to get you back to your room.” Kauri helps Jake inside, closing the door, and Jake sighs in relief as the room is beautifully, perfectly dark.
“Our room,” He says, and his head is starting to really hurt, now. “I don’t have time to lie down, Kaur.”
“You sure as fuck do,” Kauri says cheerfully, getting him back to the bed, hands running over Jake’s shoulders, back, and sides as he lays down on his stomach, groaning. Kauri presses a little, here and there, gnawing on his lower lip. “You’ve got some serious fucking stress in your back, Jake.”
“When do I not?” Jake asks, muffled by shoving his face into a pillow.
“... good point. I’m going to get you something for your headache and tell Antoni he’s in charge today. You... don’t move. Or I’ll be very unhappy with you.” Kauri’s voice teases, effortlessly flirty, just a little with the graze of his fingertips before he pulls away.
He’s gone, for just a few minutes, and Jake’s headache seems to worsen by the second, moving from the first hints of pressure to a full-on pounding pain. He doesn’t dare pull his head up, afraid even the slightest sliver of light will be too much. His stomach twists and turns, too, and Jake’s glad he got up here before he ate anything.
That Kauri got him up here.
Kauri reappears with two pills, a glass of water, and a surprisingly bright smile on his face. “Well, I’ve embarrassed Antoni by stretching and forgetting I’m not wearing any pants, so... good thing I look good naked. Here, take this.”
Jake swallows down the pills and drinks the water until it’s gone, then hides his face back in the pillow. “What’re you gonna do?”
“Stay right here, dumbass,” Kauri says, softly, and he crawls up into the bed, lying down on his side next to Jake. Jake can feel the soft brush of his hair before he leans in and kisses Jake’s neck. “Stay right here with you. That’s my plan for the day.”
“I’m gonna be real boring,” Jake mumbles into the pillow.
Kauri’s voice is low, situated just above a whisper but below the threshold that would make Jake’s head pound any harder. “I spent years alone with a talking Roomba and some plants on a balcony. Boring doesn’t bother me. I’d rather sit in this bedroom in the dark with you being a big whiny baby than be anywhere else.”
“... ‘m not whiny.”
“He said, whinily,” Kauri teased, and snuggled up next to him. Somehow he’d taken his shirt off and Jake slid one arm over the warm skin of his back, pulling him close. “Hey now-”
“Isn’t sex a pain reliever?” Jake asks, eyes still closed, nuzzling into Kauri’s neck, the warm smell of his skin, with the faintest hint of Jake’s own cologne. Something about having known Kauri to never smell like the same cologne twice for so long, and to know now he only ever smelled like Jake...
“Not for migraines. Wait til your head feels better, dumbass.”
“Thought you liked my ass,” Jake murmurs, kissing just under Kauri’s ear, a spot he knows Kauri likes, a spot Kauri didn’t know he liked, because nobody ever bothered to explore Kauri the way he deserves. His hand slid down and between Kauri’s legs-
And then he winces and turns his head back to the pillow. “Ow. Okay, I can’t right now.”
“Told you so,” Kauri says, moving Jake’s hand back over his waist. “No sex until you feel better, Doctor Kauri’s orders.”
Jake pauses, and says softly, “I must be the only guy on earth who fucking loves hearing you say ‘no.’”
Kauri pauses, and then kisses Jake’s hair, the top of his head, and slides back into his embrace, the warmth that came with lying together under the blankets together.
“Yeah, maybe. But I like that you want to hear it.”
“Always. Whenever you need to say it. I love you, Kaur.”
Jake thinks he hears the faintest hint of hidden tears in Kauri’s voice when he answers, “Love you, too.”
