#virtualdiary

I freaking exercised "5 minute flat stomach" and "10 minute thin/lean thighs or legs" workouts— I feel like I'm being insecure about my body.

My weight is average for my age so don't assume I'm an over obese wanker, my stomach isn't flat or thin: all the stupid videos I've seen said I need a calorie deficit to truly lose weight and I'm frustrated with that

I can't control what food has been given to me, what my mom or brother cooks is all random, I can't control them 🦶 I can do all this walking, exercising, listening to sublminals, especially eating less what I actually need is a calorie deficit?? Stupid shit

What a scam, it makes not wanna continue this routine tomorrow if that's it.

I lay down it feels flat but when I turn I can feel how much bigger it actually is and that pisses me off, atleast I'm not fat fat thank God but 🫩🫩 I need this "pouch" (or whatever you call it) gone NOW

✉️ a quote from me: words are brilliant enchantments, use them wisely and act accordingly — the spell is eventually cast

“When I think about my life, I always go on a rollercoaster ride. I remember my childhood, the time when I only cared for cartoons and paper dolls. I lived for the sound of the cornetto cart roaming around our barangay. I would sleep after lunch and wake up before sunset so I could play tag with my cousins. My grandma would call me at 6PM so we could eat dinner together. I had my walkman and I listened to boybands until it was time to sleep. Life was simple and uncomplicated.

I liked art and I enjoyed drawing sailor moon or card captor sakura. My grandpa is an artist and he said I was good so I immediately became confident about my work. I remember the horror on my auntie’s face when she saw the walls of the room we shared, filled with sketches that I pasted there, using glue. 😂

Now, I am an adult trying to juggle work, family, love and life at the same time. I used to travel a lot but covid happened so I am at home thinking of a business to put up. I live with my family but they’re all busy with what they do too. I sit in front of my computer and talk to people from different places in the world. I sleep a lot on weekends and sometimes I go on random road trips with my boyfriend to unwind. I rarely have time to draw. I don’t even think I still know how. When I try to pick up a pencil, I usually end up not liking what my output is. Maybe because when I grew up life became different. But I still like art. I have a journal. I like putting up a collage. I enjoy mixing scraps of papers and other materials that mean something to me. Candy wrappers, movie tickets, race bands or dried flowers. Every page I make is like a compilation of random events in my life. A finished output makes me giddy. Since I am busy and a lot of things happen to me and around me all the time, this is my way to compress the moments that I want to live for. And, right— I also started having tattoos. Tiny ones. They all have meanings. Usually a reminder for myself. I used to be alone for a long time so I’ve realized that no one would tell me these things but me. I had them when I was in a dark place and piece by piece, they gave me light. I think about getting new ones soon. I know that until today it’s still a taboo. Some families still talk about it as a sign that you are part of something bad or perhaps, you are rebelling. But God knows I am not. It’s art. And I like art. Of all the things that changed in me for the past 20 years, my fascination with art didn’t.”

</3. How it feels having no. comments/reblogs/activity on my landmineblr account.