#valice

“Hopefully someone can-” A cracking sound made Victor pause. There was a pause, and then suddenly the spot Victor had been standing on crumbled, sending him tumbling into the hole. His scream of surprise was broken by exclamations of pain and gibberish as he tumbled over dirt, stones and the odd goop to the bottom.

“Eugh…” There were definitely going to be bruises in the morning.

“Shit- Victor! You ok?” Marty shouted down (from a safer distance from the edge).

“Nothing serious but- agh- I’m not exactly peachy…”

“Marty, go to Richard’s shop, he might be able to get Victor out!”

“On it!”

Victor slowly uncrumpled himself, finding himself amidst the pile of wreckage that was, apparently, the produce stands. At least it couldn’t get worse.

Clack-clack-clack-clack

As Victor turned to be face-to-eye with some sort of black, skull-like head with brown peg-like teeth and a single yellowish eye, he regretted his choice of thought.

The horrible thing was semi-transparent, its neck extending down through the ground like a phantom. It was massive, the teeth alone nearly half his own height. A faint red glow outlined its silhouette, and a puddle of the blue-black goop had formed where its neck poked through the ground. Well, that’s one mystery solved.

New mystery: How to get away from this thing as fast as humanly possible.

It didn’t give him the chance, however, as the thing’s head when solid, bent down and (mercifully gently) picked up Victor with its teeth pressed into his stomach. And Victor could only scream as it raised its head higher, higher, higher, until they were just past the roofs of the 4 story buildings. He clung to the teeth like a lifeline, knowing if he wriggled free he’d be a splatter soon after.

And then the rest of the creature came up from the ground.

The shape reminded Victor of a scorpion, albeit one so massive that even Ferdinand would look dwarfed by it. A shiny black was the color of its carapace, with the six smaller legs being more of a grayish teal. Instead of claws, its huge arms ended in a pair of horrifically monstrous heads. The left was almost reptilian, boasting 3 pairs of yellow eyes and a mouth full of much bigger and sharper teeth. The right had no eyes, replaced with a pair of stout spikes with a much more human grin to it, though the teeth were just as vicious.

And at the junction of the two arms, where the “head” of the scorpion would be, was a single yellow eye that looked up at him with…amusement? Hopefully amusement. The arm heads growled and rumbled, smacking their jaws with loud snaps that flung more goop around.

Victor silently prayed that someone (preferably his wife but this wasn’t time to be choosy), anyone would save him before he was thrown around like some chewtoy by a gigantic scorpion-reptile-monster-thing.

—------------------------------------------

Alice didn’t need to ask when Marty burst into Richard’s shop with “Victor fell in a sinkhole!”. She simply followed him with all the adrenaline and iron-steel nerves one could ask for in this situation. The growing crowd split as she ran, if not out of recognition of one of the better monster hunters in Secundus, then for the glare that could bore through stone on her face.

Even the sight of some towering, black, long-necked creature didn’t deter her steps until she was met with a very pale-faced Doc.

“What’s going on?”

“That thing-” Doc pointed to the creature. “Has your husband in its mouth!”

The impulse to carve up the great beast right then and there was strong, but it was too risky with how high Victor was. “Any ideas?”

“It’s likely a Touched creation, so hopefully it can understand orders.”

Alice snapped to Marty. “Seriously?”

He shrunk under her gaze. “If it gets him down safely, it's worth a shot?”

As ridiculous as the idea was, it was the sort of solution Secundus tended to be resolved by. So, with determination, Alice approached the edge of the sinkhole.

The main body, equally monstrous and unusually scorpion-like, snapped all its eyes to her. The horrible heads on each of its arms snarled at her at a volume that made her bones jitter, and the eye smack in the center between them gave her a challenging stare.

Alice didn’t flinch. “You. Whatever you are. Set my husband down, or ELSE.”

To her inward surprise, it flinched. The two heads frowned at her, looking less confident. Good, this makes things easier.

“I said. Set. Him. Down.”

The creature’s available eyes widened in fright, and quickly (but not too quickly), the long-necked head slowly came down, down, down…

Until it was barely a foot over her head. She could see Victor (at least the lower half not obscured by teeth) flailing in terror. Quickly, she readied herself, and as it opened its mouth enough for Victor to drop, she caught him.

To her, at least, he seemed alright. Terrified to bits, a bit sticky with goop and bruised from the original tumble, but fine.

“A-Alice!” For a moment, her rage simmered down as her husband looked up at her with joyous surprise.

“Don’t worry, I got you.” She smiled at him, before passing him off to Doc and Marty. She turned back to the creature, who’s collective heads were fixed on her, and to her amusement was trembling slightly.

“Now…Piss Off!”

With a nearly deafening screech of terror, the massive beast whipped around and phased through the road as it scrambled away, leaving a trail of goop in its wake.

Alice let out a weary sigh. At least her husband was safe…

—----------------------------------------

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Van Dort-Liddell,

My sincerest apologies for the incident that occurred last week. I had been invited into the city as part of the recent collaborations between Secundus and Mortasheen, where I was to host several seminars on the various classifications of bioengineered monsters our city hosts and produces. Several specimens from my laboratory were brought in as exhibitions for this. My Ectophasm specimen, a Carnogeist named Kron, had gotten bored and decided to set up his new ambush spot in the city streets, using his incorporeal state to escape his container.

While you are no doubt aware of Mortasheen’s infamous…lack of concern over death, injury, or damage, I assure you that all my specimens, including Kron, were properly trained in interacting gently with people outside the city. Given that there were no casualties that day, I like to think I succeeded.

Regardless, Kron has been severely reprimanded and measures have been taken to ensure this does not repeat with him or any other of my specimens.

I am intrigued by the recollection of events Kron gave to me. While Carnogeists are known to be easily startled by smaller beings, Mrs. Van Dort-Liddell has practically traumatized him. If you are willing, can I arrange for you to assist in improving the discipline of some other unruly specimens? You will be compensated handsomely.

As for Mr. Van Dort-Liddell, I have enclosed an appropriate sum of cash to help compensate for any damage caused. I also would like to extend you an offer to attend my seminar on the Arthropoid class of monsters. I have been informed of your specialization in Lepidoptera and my Mothstrous Clara has always appreciated non-Mortasheen Touched who do not find her repulsive.

Regards, Doctor Bogleech, P.H.D. Parabiology

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Secundus as an idea belongs to good mutual @victorluvsalice

->Cue Victor taking them home, because, well, if they got a color from him, there's a good chance they'll get colors from his wives too. Sure enough, Smiler gets purple from Alice and blue from (the pregnant with her second child) Victoria when they meet them. Naturally, this prompts them to invite Smiler to stick around and bunk down at the Van Dort place so they can meet Emily, Lizzie, and Bonejangles during their monthly "real world" visit and see what happens there! Smiler is only too happy to do so...

->...and much like what happened with Alice in "The Technicolor Phase," what was supposed to be a temporary situation quickly turns into a permanent one. XD Smiler is firmly folded into the lives of the core group after trading colors with all of them, and soon becomes just part of the family. Smiler, personally, is just thrilled to have such awesome people in their lives, and to have so many beautiful colors after so long spent seeing everything in shades of grey. :)

->And then, one fateful day, while doing their sales in the town square, they happen to lock eyes with both Nell Van Dort and Maudeline Everglot, granting them red and brown respectively. Smiler is delighted to get more colors, but both Nell and Maudeline are absolutely furious that they got colors from a "common street merchant" (and rather horrified that they agree with each other on something) --

And then it comes out that Smiler is living at the younger Van Dorts' house with Alice, and knows about the whole situation with Emily. Causing both of them to storm off in a snit, leaving a very confused Smiler in their wake. Smiler later relates the incident to their housemates, and Victor and Victoria explain that the women in question were their mothers. And, frankly, given what Nell and Maudeline are like, they're a little concerned about how those two are going to be important to Smiler. Smiler is like "oh, maybe I win them over and help repair your relationships" --

->...and then one Dr. Kelman shows up in Burtonsville. Having been summoned by Nell and Maudeline to teach their "wayward children" about being "socially compliant" (AKA, to stop them "taking in more strays and bringing shame to their families"). Naturally, he recognizes Smiler as his runaway "son," Marmaduke, and is very eager to bring them back home to The Sanctuary to be "corrected." Smiler, however, is not eager to go back to that hellhole and end up a vegetable like their poor mother Margaret in the basement, and makes it very clear that they are not going --

Backed up by an absolutely furious Victor, Victoria, and Alice (possibly Emily, Lizzie, and Bonejangles too if I decide this happens on one of their "visit" days). Kelman is kicked out of the younger Van Dorts' house and sent packing, and Victor and Victoria make it very clear to their parents that they don't want to have anything to do with them anymore. (Which does mean that they will need a new source of income other than the Van Dort fortune, but I can picture Smiler encouraging Victor to sell his drawings and Victoria her quilts and such, so they'll probably be okay.)

->(...and if Alice disappears for a few days after the incident, and after she comes back everyone learns that Dr. Kelman has mysteriously died on his way back to The Sanctuary...well, nobody says anything.)

->However, this whole kerfluffle leads to Smiler realizing that their feelings for the group are not exactly platonic, and that they've fallen in love with Victor in particular. Which strikes them as a pretty shitty way to thank the ladies who call him "husband" for helping them (it also doesn't help that the current polycule set-up does strongly suggest that Victor is only into girls). They thus decide that they should probably get back on the road and take their leave, promising to come back to visit sometime in the future (once their feelings have cooled). Victor and the others are saddened but understanding, and Victor insists on them taking a token that will allow them to join the others in Alice's Wonderland via the modified "Travel Into Fantasy" spell Elder Gutknecht's cooked up. Smiler promises to pop in once they are settled...

->Except before they can, Lizzie pops into their head using her token to be like "wtf why are you running away??" A startled Smiler ends up confessing to her about their feelings and how they aren't sure they'd be wanted, only for Lizzie to point out that the two of them exchanging colors is probably a good sign they're meant to be some form of in-laws (relating the story of how she got blue from Emily). Smiler thus allows themselves to be persuaded into following her to Alice's Wonderland to talk to everyone else, where they nervously confess their attraction to Victor --

->Which leads to him kissing them and begging them to "please come home," because of course Victor reciprocates their feelings! He was in fact trying to work up the courage to suggest Smiler join the polycule when they suddenly left and made him think they weren't interested! (Alice tells Smiler "I would have gotten Cheshire to pester you into confessing if I'd been able!" XD) Smiler naturally returns to Burtonsville post-haste, and while they do go out and travel around the immediate area to sell their potions from time to time, it's with the expectation that they will always be coming back to the younger Van Dorts' home. :)

->And the whole thing would finish up a few months later, with Smiler rushing back from one of those trips just in time for the birth of Victoria and Victor's second child, a daughter...and Victoria informing Smiler that they would like to name her Margaret after their mother. :) (And yes, she would have "Elizabeth" for her middle name.)