What is your orientation to truth?
Let’s be honest, it’s not really peace we’re keeping, is it? It’s an insidious form of codependency: I don’t think you can handle the truth, so I’ll withhold it… or I don’t want to deal with your reaction or upset to the truth, so I'll withhold it… or I don't want to take responsibility for what I’ve done, so I'll withhold… I am afraid of the potential outcome if I speak the truth…
Whatever the reason, this weakness of character ( 🚩) will ultimately contribute to the downfall of the relationship if it's not brought into your conscious awareness for healing. If you are committed to true union, speak the truth and confront what arises as a team, thereby resolving the issue & quite possibly creating an indivisible union. Otherwise, your silence poisons your relationship with the ongoing internal war you fight by squelching your truth, only to come out later as resentment, passive aggression and most times, contempt and sheer rage. Eventually resulting in the utter destruction of your relationship. You will project these pent up internal emotions at "the other" because by now your emotional imbalance is overflowing like a volcano ready to spew hot lava. And, it is 100% your responsibility and could have been prevented had you dealt with the issue at the onset and acknowledged the warning signs (your feelings) along the way.
So let’s be real: avoiding conflict has nothing to do with keeping or creating peace. You are lying to yourself when you tell yourself that. It’s actually avoidance of taking responsibility, simply not wanting to deal with the current reality present. The conflict doesn't disappear because you withhold the truth. It’s simply hidden, and more accurately, postponed in a subtle form of [self] deception. And this character weakness has the power to sabotage every area of your life if you don't hold yourself accountable and develop the tools to communicate with an orientation towards the truth and confronting the issue together, not confronting each other like you're in a war zone.
When the next opportunity arises, you have the power to choose--speak your truth and evolve your relationship and your being, or you can continue to run away and postpone that which is in the ultimate act of self-sabotage and emotional immaturity. The difference is creating the partnership your heart dreams of versus the torture, heartbreak and regret the ego so easily exploits.
~ Monet Euan
