I hit them with the yuri beam, they are a threat to polite society
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I hit them with the yuri beam, they are a threat to polite society

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lumax is a comfort ship in the sense that it just makes sense and is super fucking wholesome. elmax is just peak fucking cinema and they're so perfect for each other and so fucking tragic and so fucking gay and so fucking insane about each other bro don't even, but they're also so fucking cute and would have been fucking unstoppable if the d*ffer brothers hadn't decided to keep them apart because they're misogynists... whatt who said thaattt?? henderhop is so insanely cute and fluffy, one of these days i might just explode from thinking about them for too long. ronance has the power to explode every single lesbian within an infinite mile radius. they're the pairing. the universe in which byclair was endgame is a universe i yearn to visit although the buzz would probably kill me instantly upon my arrival, but it would be so worth it bro idc. byerson is so cute, bro, don't even joke. jancy had potential, i'm ngl. hopclair is pretty neat, if you ask me. i can't see wheelerson as anything but an unrequited crush on mike's part, but said unrequited crush is so very important to me in a way i don't know how to explain. the concept of dunningham/chrissie (or whatever the fuck the ship name for vickie and chrissy would be) spawned in my head late one night and hasn't left since. it just makes sense to me, bro. boyce was so very wholesome for no fucking reason, i'll mourn bob forever. fred and his nameless friend who died in the car fred crashed were gay for each other, bro, i don't care what anyone has to say. holly and mary are also gay for each other. why? because i said so, that's why. h*pper and benny could have raised jane together, benny could've talked some sense into h*p and made sure that he locked the fuck in. kali and dottie should've kissed on-screen, it would've made my lesbian heart, as well as their lesbian hearts, very happy. toxic yuri hopangela (or whatever the fuck the ship name for jane and angela is) is my guilty pleasure except it isn't a pleasure at all because it genuinely makes me want to rip my hair out... jane deserves better, bro. jane and that one girl in lenora who flirted with will is more than just a crack ship to me. toxic yuri erica and tina is real, trust me, y'all.
and last but certainly not least, don't fucking talk to me about sarah lynn.
fuckass fandom
Ehhhhhh smaller doodles
People I Donāt Really Like
The quality may be a bit bad but thatās the same for the original and I will also do anything to avoid paying for a capcut membership
Turns out, Odysseus thinks hysterically, being on a magic island with a Titanās child for seven years has⦠affects.
What the fuck, he thinks. Calypso and Hermes looks just as confused as he feels. (Which rules out that this might be one of Calypsoās schemes. She canāt truly act for the life of her; Itās always in her eyes and she canāt do a long act).
There are scales on his arms. And legs. And neck. And basically everywhere, actually. They come in patches and in different concentrations; The biggest batch is the one already consuming his abdomen, and meeting with the ones growing on his thighs and just generally his legs The other highest concentration is on his elbows, and they spread faster down towards his hands.
Theyāre a mix of sea-green-blue and gray; Some of the pale-soot colored scales bounce off a warm hazel or sunset-orange in the dappled sunlight that leaks through the trees. The gray - and especially the warm-gray - patches have some dusky gray and sepia feathers peaking out, in between the scales. The most of them are around his neck or from his elbows through his forearms. His hands have grown into aqua tipped webbed claws as well.
What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck, he thinks on a loop. As he huffs a hysterical laugh, he can feel his teeth having sharpened into needle point snake-like fangs and on that point - his tongue has thinned into something rough and forked. A snakeās tongue as well. The panic increases. (There are whispers in the wind now, feeling of his dead crew).
His ears twitch as he looks at his reflection in a nearby stream, peacefully running like everything in Ogygia, and - holy mother of Zeus what the fuuuuck
His⦠ears (can he even call them that? His hearing still seems the sameā¦) have transformed into⦠fins? They remind him of the sirensā ears, actually, though a bit wider and thinner. Theyāre mainly the same sea-green-blue color that the scales decorating mainly his lower half are, only fading into a cool blue gray as they near his head. ā¦Are those more feathers behind his fin-ears??? (Scratchy ghost hands reach out of the water, like they did the River Styx. Not real, not real, he automatically tells himself, ignores them).
He turns back to the two gods, who are still staring at him; He feels his fin-ears(???) dip down in panic.
Hermes at least seems like heās thinking - and worried - even if Odyseeus canāt see his eyes. He doesnāt want to look at Calypso much for anything, but the quick glance he gives seems to spell a similar expression, if not with a bit of⦠anger. Or disgust. (He hopes itās the latter; He still feels a spike of fear at the anger. Nothing good ever came of her, much less of her anger).
(Odysseus doesnāt notice in his hysteria, but as his breathing picks up, his legs fuse together, into a snake tail. Hermes catches the moment).
Hermes seems to have thought of something, as his shoulders drop just the slightest and he slowly floats towards Odysseus, as if he was an unbroken horse (or monster, Odysseus thinks. He did say heād become the monster but this- this is-), holding his hands in front of him in a placating gesture.
āCalm,ā Hermes breathes in soft voice. Odysseus tries to follow the godās orders. āCalm,ā Hermes whispers again.
Heās done this before, he thinks, as he turns his gaze on the grass floor, unfocusing. Despite whatever in his gods forsaken travels or the war. Shut it all off. (turn off your heart, a ghost Athena murmurs behind him. Not real, he knows. Follows anyway. Why didnāt he listen to her all those years ago.)
Odysseus canāt do it as.. cleanly as usually could with the whole⦠well. But he tampers it down a bit. Evidently at least Hermes is willing to help. (He ignores his thoughts on how Penelope might react). Theyāll⦠figure something out.
He tries to think about it calmer; He can feel his panicked tangled thoughts flow into a familiar, calmer weaving feeling, like whenever he makes a good plan and all itās variables. Is it a curse from Poseidon? The fins and sea-green make him think that, if not for the feathers that are definitely not part of the Earthshakerās realm. The feathers actually make him think of Athena but- but she didnāt answer him earlier- or did she? Hermes seemed uncomfortable and oddly tightlipped about⦠something; Something happening in Olympus, Odysseus can guess that much. Regardless, the most of⦠this seems to a snake. Snakes are either of Athena, Hermes, or Ares.
ād...eus,ā
Odysseus has never even met Ares, that goes to Diomedes, he absentmindedly thinks - only Hermes and Athena, and the silver & sienna scales and feathers are very in their domain, however, Hermes obviously doesnāt know much about it, so he can really only think itās Athena - the myth of Medusa flashes in his mind - except again, he points out against himself, the fins. Theyāre so clearly Poseidon, and he knows the both of them - Athena better - enough that he knows theyād rather impossibly die that work together for something as so small as a curse.
āOod...seuusss,ā
But if Poseidon can hold a grudge and he knows Athena well enough to know that she does to, as much as she denies, but still then, why would it be years after - is it cause he called to her?
āOdysseus!ā Hermes half yells. The mortal in questions jumps, standing again. ā¦When did he stop standing in the first place ā¦wait a minute was he higher than usual earlier? Think about that later, Odysseus tells himself, shaking off the familiar feeling of fading into his thoughts.
Odysseus looks up towards Hermes, who looks a bit worried, but not as panicked as he did earlier. Odysseus looks back down at himself. There are still some scales and feathers, but considerably less. His hands have dulled down - theyāre still sharper than usual, but theyāre not claws, and the webbing between them is similarly less.
He feels around his mouth. His tongue is still⦠forked, but thatās all - still a human tongue otherwise; his fangs are still sharp, though.
āYesss?ā Itās harder to speak with a forked tongue and fangs. Thereās a slight hiss and lisp at the end of the word.
Hermes doesn't respond, glancing at Calypso, then Odysseus, then Calypso again before partially turning to her, lips pressed, adopting a colder expression, like he did when he was addressing Calypso earlier, to tell them Odysseus was finally free. Hermes nods his head towards the general direction of Calypsoās āhomeā. Calypso opens her mouth, indignant, but the pressure in the air increases as Hermesā wings stretch up and out, spreading the feathers in an act Odysseus can somehow instinctively tell is meant to intimidate. Calypso closes her mouth, still looking upset but cowed, and she runs off.
Hermes turns back to him, the wings furling back into resting near the god's ears, pressure in the air lifting. He stares for another moment, before sighing and giving Odysseus a small smile, infinitely softer than his usual mischievous ones.
He floats towards Odysseus (careful and gentle and so much unlike Calypso-) and tucks some of his curls behind his slightly-webbed ears, careful around the scales; he lightly ruffles his head like he used to when Odysseus was so, so much younger.
"Should be fine, my friend," Hermes whispers. "Rises with your emotions, no?" Hermes watches the wheels turn in Odysseus' head. Yeah, Odysseus thinks, mind blank in a good way that it hasn't been in a long while. Okay. He nods. "Smart, kid," Hermes whispers.
One of Hermes' ear-wings twitch, and his head minutely tilts towards Calypso's 'home' before tilting back to Odysseus. Hermes softly runs his hand behind Odysseus' head and leads him towards the beachside. There's a raft bobbing back and forth with the waves.
They're really letting me go, Odysseus walks towards the raft, water splashing against his legs. He turns back to Hermes who- is gone- wait no; Hermes flits back from somewhere, wings fluttering and a moderately large basket full of food, water, and clothing in his hands that he pushes into Odysseus' hands.
The god gently hurries Odysseus onto the ship, and after setting down the basket helps him push the raft into the open sea. With Hermes' help, Odysseus is far enough out to barely see the shape of Calypso, once she made to the coastline; Odysseus turns his head away from her. From Ogygia.
Hermes stays with him for a while, until Ogygia's silhouette is shrouded in fog, fading into sky. Hermes watches it fade away, as Odysseus keeps his eyes trained to the open sea (Captain-).
The messenger god turns back to Odysseus, and hovers in front of him. He lightly ruffles his hair again, and his hand cups the side of his head as Hermes ducks his head down and presses a kiss to his great-grandson's forehead.
"Call my name, and I shall be there," Hermes murmurs with a fond smile. With that, Hermes dissipates in a quiet flutter and feathers.
-
ok. so. this developed into great-grandfather hermes. uhm. yeah. anyway. so, in procrastinating on this I now have a full tag for monster-ody-au, it's called Ithacan Naga AU.
*ody has been dissociating his entire stay on Calypsoās island, besides maybe the first year, where he hadnāt spent enough time to be affected. His heightened emotions at leaving cause the actual affects to show, btw.
So! There's absolutely a ref post with a verrry long conversation in the replies that talks about it but to formally do it/add onto it: > Ody's scales are mainly/usually sea-blue-green to gray/purple, but changes colors based on lighting! > Ogygia isn't meant to be inhabited by normal people (or smth), so after seven years + Calypso's inherent magic (as a titan's daughter) it changes Odysseus into basically what Ithacans/Ody would be if he was greek monster, which is why he doesn't notice it & why it's overall very natural. -> Ithacans would really just be sea-snake nagas with some feathers. Ody is special cause he's a descendent of Hermes (and maybe Zeus) & Athena blessed, so he gets wings. > He's venomous! > He can "unhinge" his jaw (Snakes have an extra[?] bone called a quadratic bone that connects the top half of their skull & their jaw, which lets them extend it more. The jaw is also in two parts & has a stretchy ligament to let it stretch). > Full length naga, Ody is like... 27-33 ft? > He has three pairs of wings, one of the small of his back, near his waist, and the other two on the side of his snake half. > He gets gills! Three near his human ribs, a few several spaced out throughout his snake half.
Small headcannons that make a cameo in this: > Hermes used to hang out with little Odysseus (and Ctimene) before Athena (and Ares) came along and chose Ody (and Mene) > Ody has schizophrenia (and PTSD, by now).
...my battery is about to die & I can't remember anything else so that's all for now

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@cryzdust why did u left me šššššššš
a bunch of really old + really bad pscop stuff from likeā¦ā¦ 2021-2022 i thimkā¦ā¦ gotta get back into petcop šāāļø love these guys
ferris lowry fanfiction