#typeonelookslikeme

when you’re in the hospital

if you’re hooked up to machines

that keep you alive

it’s called life support

and there’s an option to

“pull the plug”

or end the life support.

as a type one diabetic

i am constantly hooked up to machines

that keep me alive

they’re my life support

but what if i’m tired of being hooked up to machines

but what if i want my body back

but what if i

“pull the plug”

When I was in the sixth grade I ran cross country and track. Near the end of track season I started feeling out of breath on my runs and getting exhausted to the point where I couldn’t finish some of our runs at practice. I even had to drop out of a race because I just couldn’t finish it.

At the same time, I began having trouble seeing the board in class. I told my parents and they took me to get my eyes checked for glasses. My teachers, friends at school, and family started asking me if I was okay. I’ve never been one to complain so I always responded with “I’m fine”.

I got my glasses on a Friday and wore them all weekend. By Monday, I wasn’t feeling well and I had barely eaten the day before, so I stayed home from school. I didn’t eat anything that day until my mom came home with watermelon, knowing I couldn’t pass it up. I did eat the watermelon, however, I got sick and could not stop throwing up.

My parents rushed me to the hospital and the people working the emergency room took me back as soon as we got through the doors. I don’t remember much from the emergency room but I do remember that I started feeling a lot better. I spent that first night in icu.

I was at the hospital for a week and kept begging them to let me go back to school. I didn’t understand at the time what diabetes meant and how it would affect my life. The doctor and nurses were in and out checking on me all day and night. They taught me to check my sugar and give myself a shot. The nutritionist came to talk to me about what I could eat and what I could not eat. At the time, I didn’t think it was a big deal. It was a lot harder on my parents than it was on me. It didn’t hit me until the day we left the hospital when we went to buy groceries and I broke down crying in the juice aisle.