#twitter comedy

Screencaps of Tweets from Spooky King, spooky8pack on Twitter

First Tweet: People at my funeral if I die: I knew her well Me, rising from my casket: Apparently you didn’t, my pronouns are they/them

Second Tweet: Tbh I had no clue ACAB stood for “all cops are bastards“ until someone told me I thought it meant “assigned criminal at birth”

Third Tweet: Dick reveal at 69 followers (for context I’m afab and have like 20 followers on twitter)

Fourth Tweet: Hey Siri how do I tell a girl I wanna wear her like a glove

Fifth Tweet: Whoever has my voodoo doll could u please fix the fabric on the thighs I really dont like these stripes u got going on

Sixth Tweet: Sometimes I wonder how 12 year old me survived hearing mcr’s mama for the first time and how i didn’t just go absolutely feral the first time i heard gerard say “you should have raised a baby girl, i could have been a better son”

Seventh Tweet: Sometimes I say I’m living the life then I remember my breakfast this morning is a monster and a rice kripsie treat

Eighth Tweet: Me; gives a coin to a beggar in Skyrim The Beggar: Thank You, Divines Pop Your Pussy

Ninth Tweet: Me, seeing a cop car: Aw shit didn’t know pigs could drive

Tenth Tweet: I dont give a damn whos house im in im drying my hands on they decorative towels

Eleventh Tweet: Nascar is just the adult version of watching two raindrops on the window and pretending they’re racing