Nov 29, 2021
Logan: (swats a fly away from his coffee)
Remus: Sexy~
Logan: ...
Logan: Did you just call that-
Remus: Swat that fly harder!
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Logan: (swats a fly away from his coffee)
Remus: Sexy~
Logan: ...
Logan: Did you just call that-
Remus: Swat that fly harder!
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Roman: And so begins my campaign against the evils of the overgrown nature of my land!
Logan: ...
Logan: so you're finally mowing the lawn?
Roman: Nature's bladed tyranny shall last no longer!
Thomas: Do any of you have healthy stress outlets?
Patton: Screaming
Roman: Murder
Logan: Wine
Virgil: Arson
Thomas: Okay... So we have screaming...
Janus: aren’t you sugar and spice and everything nice.
Patton: well aren’t you rudeness and sarcasm and everything… uh…
Janus: no, go on. If you find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense, I’ll start being a model side right now.
Janus: If we tell you to run, if we tell you to hide or whatever, you gotta do it.
Virgil: But.. I cannot abandon the café!
Remus: If someone storms or robs the place, then you need to hide away. We're there to protect ya, lil' man!
Virgil: But my customers!
Janus: No customers if you end up dead or imprisoned!
Virgil: I like my work - who will make them coffee without me?
Roman, a customer: The kid makes a killer latte, he can't go!
Virgil: SEE!?
Janus: YOU COULD DIE - PEOPLE ARE AFTER YOU!
Roman: After that ass or that coffee? They are both pretty great!
Virgil, blushing: see? *quietly*
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Logan: Uranium contains 20 billion calories.
Virgil: A second great reason to not eat uranium!
Patton: I would never need to eat again...
Virgil: PATTON NO!
Logan: He wouldn't. It is true.
Janus, fondly: Remus sometimes talks in his sleep, it's quite adorable.
Remus, asleep: Fight me... you ass... square up... I think the fuck not...
Roman: One coffee, please, lovely~
Barista!Logan, customer service voice: My name is Logan and *turns around to see Roman* Ah - I.. I am too flustered to function-
Roman: ~♥