Unpopular Opinion: Damon and Elena Did Not Have a Happy Ending
This will not make the Delena fans happy. So either disagree with kindness and civility or stay away.
According to me, Damon and Elena did not have a happy ending and it has a lot to do with him and his relationship with his humanity. Damon Salvatore is a man constantly at war with the vampire heβs become and the human he left behind. However true and pure his love for Elena may be, I think even hardcore fans will admit that it was somewhat helped on or fueled by his need to be picked over his brother. He may have fallen gradually in love with her but it started out as one-upping his brother, and that's not the best start. His love is as much about loving her and being loved back as it is about holding on to the fragile illusion that he can be something more than the monster he believes himself to be. His worth in his own eyes and in comparision to Stefan is tied closely to his relationship.
He doesnβt want to be a good personβhe wants to be better than Stefan or at least good enough to be chosen over Stefan.
But that's not all.
Damon's identity is tied very intrinsically with his vampiric nature, so much so he can't separate himself from it. He is one of the vampires who has the least connection to his humanity and that's not a bad thing. He has leaned into his vampiric nature for so longβ from hedonistic tendencies to self-indulgent ways to alcohol addiction to violent tendencies.
He is cured of vampirism, yes, but he has not been cured of what vampirism did to him.
His humanity is a thing of the pastβ he justifies his cruelty either as a natural consequence of vampirism (like feeding off and killing humans, compelling them) or as a necessary evil (like killing Lexi and turning Bonnie's mom). And in that, I see how distant he is from his humanity. Being with Elena brings him closer, but it's not a permanent change. When she's asleep in S7-8, he reverts back to someone more selfish or self-centered, abandons his brother and best friend, does morally questionable things again. Why does that matter? Because once he's human, where does that leave him?
What kind of human will he be after all that?
Per canon, he has alcohol addiction but it doesn't matter because vampires have great tolerance. What about as a human? Does he quit drinking? But that won't be easy. Habits are hard to break after 5-10 years. He's had his for more than a century. How does Stefan's death affect him? The morality behind him is deeply tied to some imagined competition with his brother. First off, he's suffering from a great loss. Second, he's no longer competing for Elena with anybody. Where does that leave him? Does he quit trying hard to be someone he's not eventually? Does he keep trying but come to resent her for it? What about his violent tendencies? Where do those go when he can no longer solve his problems by killing them? What about the loss of control when he can no longer go around compelling people? What about responsibilities? It's canon that he's never been really responsible for anythingβ can he come up to scratch for his children, fight with addiction, try to become a better person, all while not deviating from his love for Elena and not resent her for it?
I don't think he can.
If Damon had to live as a human again, he wouldnβt thrive. His violent tendencies, his addiction to alcohol, his deep sense of inadequacy, and his distaste for anything mundane would trap him in a life of quiet resentment. His inferiority complex would balloon, especially if he still had to be around supernatural entities and see the supernatural world continue on without him. His life would become one of neglect and passive-aggressive bitterness, not just toward Elena but toward everyone who reminded him of what he lost. If anything, heβd either open a bar to feed his indulgence or fall back into old destructive habits. His resentment would build to the point of emotional neglect and potential abuse (probably not physical, but unintentionally emotional abuse for sure).
The harsh truth?
Damon Salvatore will never be able to leave behind the vampire he is. It's all he is throughout the show. Some good, some bad, some uglyβ but all of it is vampire. He doesn't particularly want kids, doesn't miss mortality, so how could he like being human when the thing he misses about being human is what he used to be as a human, but he's not that person anymore, and taking the cure won't make him that person. What ensues is a tragedy of loss, resentment, and disappointment in himself, his life and the people around him. So it's great that Damon wasn't shown as human on-screen so we can imagine a version of him that doesn't exist living out a happy life with Elena (because that's what the show tells us happens) butβ
In a real, logical world, being human could never be Damon Salvatore's happy ending.
And his particular brand of misery would take everyone around him down with him.
















