Goodbye SMG4
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Goodbye SMG4

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hii iniyan :-} for the oc ask game 9, 17 and 23!
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hi fubby sorry i'm answering so late!! ^_^ let's do toop today i need the catharsis that comes from talking about a character you want to kick a little bit
Sound is invisible stuff. Those who have expertise in its properties and potentialities also have a tendency to lack a full understanding of the worlds of tactile matter, visible surfaces, the volume of sound. Sound is a thing and no-thing, like air, money, time or love, complex to infinitude as one of the ungraspable phantoms of life. All these metaphors we use to bring into being the property of sound and the sensation of its hearing: a honeyed voice, a rough voice, a piercing scream; the taste of viscosity, a hand passes over splintered wood, a needle punctures the skin. Think of sound ā that high sound of hearing and air ā pouring into the volume of a space, translucent block of air like colourless jelly flecked and warped with every passing noise event and its trail of decomposing matter, something like a stiff liquid or intangible runny paste through which the body passes without resistance yet it enfolds and penetrates the body with the insistence of abyssal pressure and the clotted emotions of memories as active entities, in flight like birds, insubstantial as papery moths.
David Toop, A Piercing Silence: James Richards, from Inflamed Invisible, originally published in James Richards: To Replace a Minute's Silence With a Minute's Applause, Whitechapel Gallery, London, 2015
cw animal death talk
it is a bad mood in the house this week. so a couple nights ago as lex was getting home, toop ran to the door and her upper leg looked off? we got her in a walkin vet the next morning. the doctors were stumped by look and feel; she got an x ray and a fine needle aspiration. the xray said it wasnt bone [but her heart looked a bit enlarged...] and the fine needle came up with some round cells in it. our options are spent a couple hundred dollars sending that out of province for pathology, watch and wait, or spend thousands at the specialty vet to remove the mass regardless.
just on that knowledge, it's been a bad time. we dont know what to do about this. right now we're sending the cells for pathology but we're just. lost. it felt bad, we both spent last night sitting on the floor crying and petting her and telling her how much we love her. we're both kind of dreading the worst and talking about it from that sense; we are feeling bad that we didnt notice it sooner [but we dont pet her in that area because she doesnt like it]. we keep wondering what we could have done different, and keep assuring each other the answer is nothing. we got her in aug 2014 and were told she was 2; we've spent 8.5 years spoiling this cat rotten. she's safe, shes loved, shes had her every need taken care of, she clearly loves us back and is happy, she got leash time and catio time. lately shes been wanting to sleep on the clean laundry, so for a couple weeks we've been building laundry nests for her every day in our bed. we did and continue to do everything right by her we can. but like, were trying to comfort each other while just crying.
anyways, i just made the mistake of googling round cells in cats and got some worst case timelines and. i am Doing Worse now. this made it more real and everything hurts.
the cell results will be back in a week.
SHOW BIRD
Everyone say hi toop

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