#timbernkon

They’re kinda like alexa for the bats since they just ask and get texted whatever the answer is like 2 seconds later

But I imagine for the supers it would probably become a race for who can answer the fastest and the most accurately

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Tim, working on a case by himself: hm.. what’s the penalty for unarmed robbery again?

Phone, pings 5 times: message from kon, Kara, Clark, Jon, kon (mobile)

Tim: :/

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Wally: Hey, Dick? Did you order basketball tickets?

Dick: Oh, yeah. Last week. I ate your leftovers and you were upset about it, so I got you tickets for your favorite team in apology.

Wally: …thank you? Weren’t these expensive though? It’s the finals.

Dick: :)

Roy: Hey, Jaybird, did you get a new toolbox?

Jason: It has your name engraved on it.

Roy: I saw that.

Jason: Apology for when I forgot to lock the bedroom door when you asked, and Lian walked in on us

Roy: That was, like, a month ago? And I wasn’t even mad?

Jason: Engraving takes a long time.

pocket sized boyfriends hehehe

Roy, in Jason’s bed: Morning… how’d ya sleep last night? Jason, knocking Roy off: WHAT THE HELL?! Roy: Ow— Jason: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor! Roy: I had a nightmare. Jason: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old? Roy: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there- Jason, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on my twin XL! Roy: That is not what I meant— Jason: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground! Roy: Listen, I’m not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I’m sure you did too. Jason: Yeah, okay- Roy: You know what? I wanna know. How’d you sleep last night? Jason: …That was the best I’ve slept in a while. Roy, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed! Jason: I did not consent to this- Roy, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden! Jason, on the phone: Hi, is this the front desk? Yeah, there’s a bed bug in my room and he’s five-foot-eleven, he’s got red hair- Roy: Ask them if they have one of those “Do Not Disturb” signs. I’ll put it on the door next time we… do it. Jason: Okay, I'ma go shower and wash all of the you off of me. Roy: Oh, maybe together we could— Jason: NO. Roy: Just to save water— Jason: No! You don’t even pay for the water! Roy: …Good point.

Steph: *Texts a selfie to the group chat* Hey besties!! Jason: *Texts a selfie clearly parodying Steph's* hey besties !!1! Steph: I literally hate you so much.

Dick, holding a box of Lunchables: Ah, I loved these when I was your age… fine dining. Damian: Fix yourself.

Tim: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Steph: 'Prettiest Smile' Dick: 'Nicest Personality' Jason: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Cass: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Steph: Today at 7 am, Tim poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Dick: I watched Tim brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm. Damian: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

Damian, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day? Bruce: … Bruce: What’s in the box? Damian: What woul- Bruce: Damian, what’s in the box? Damian: I think you know.

Bruce: Did you buy eggs like I asked? Damian: Even better! Bruce: What the fuck did you- Damian: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.

Tim: What are we gonna do?! Jason: Blame you?

*Dick comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Barbara’s bedroom.* Barbara: Dick, are you.. coming to bed? Dick: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend. Dick: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep* Barbara: ...

Roy: sapnu puaS. Kori: What?? Jason: What language is that? Roy: Turn your phone 180 degrees. *Roy was removed from the groupchat*

Kon, admiring a sleeping Tim: You’re so cute. Tim, sleepily: I could beat your ass. Kon, lovingly: I know.

Duke: How do those little boys on XBOX parties always know what slur to call you? Tim: They're empaths.

Steph: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Dick: No, that's not how you make cookies. Duke: FLOOR IT!! Jason: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Damian: YOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Steph: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Tim: DO IT! Bruce: NO-

Tim, at Kon: Would you like to stay for dinner? Bernard, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

-Bernard loves to cook. The kitchen is his comfort zone, and cooking, baking, chopping, broiling, simmering are what bring him peace and joy when he's stressed.

-Tim is allowed one corner of one counter, where he keeps his espresso machine. Other than that, he's been banned from the kitchen.

-Conner is the only person allowed exclusive access to not only the kitchen, but also Bernard's personal, private seasoning drawer. This privilege was granted when Bernard discovered that Conner, who was trained by his grandparents, made the most perfectly prepared, mouthwatering steaks, briskets, bbq ribs, and cornbread he'd ever tasted

-Bernard and Tim, both having grown up in wealthy families, are trained classical dancers. They will occasionally pull out their skills to go undercover at a club or the Iceberg Lounge, or just to make Conner flustered.

-Conner plays the guitar when he's bored and relaxing. Twice it has successfully put an overworked, overstressed Tim to sleep at his desk.