I hate when I hear people my age say
I hate when I hear people my age say
“Love was a thing back then, that shit doesn't exist anymore.”
I hate when people throw around the word
but don't put in the work
that makes those three words feel whole.
I hate those people that think because they’re damaged,
they get to damage those around them.
I hate that I was born with such an incredible amount
and have no one to pour that love into.
I hate that I have yet to find a counterpart,
another human that was worthy of the love,
that I have within my body, my mind, my soul,
I, with all the rage inside my flesh,
the anger that throbs within my bones,
that pain that I have kept hostage within the cavity of my heart,
hate that I have done a poor job,
a so-disappointing-my-mother-is-ashamed job,
of choosing the wrong people to give my love to.
I despise myself for my actions, my clouded judgement,
my impaired vision and my habit for dumping my gold on the ground and being
grateful that some fool came by, saw something shiny and went
and pocketed what should have been coveted.
But through all my disappointment,
and bad choices of commitment,
I am so deep in my conviction
and is alive and well and sitting on a beach
with not a care in the world,
waiting for me to realize what I’ve done.
Love is waiting for me to let go,
so someone else can see it isn't so bad.