#thoughtsinmyhead

Today, I didn’t rush myself. I woke up and moved slowly. I went to shower and then went out. I walked slowly and just let busy people pass by me. I even stood on the right side of the escalator instead of using the left side this time. I didn’t rush. I waited for the next jeepney to arrive; I didn't push my way in. I even waited for another elevator to open when I arrived at work. I was alone inside; it felt good. I didn’t rush today. I ate slowly, savored my meal, and then got to work.

Life at 27 is a fascinating maze of experiences, where each twist and turn offers its own set of challenges and revelations. It's a time when friends are embarking on seemingly divergent paths – some are getting married, some are starting families, and others are achieving remarkable success in their careers or businesses. Meanwhile, there are those of us who are still navigating the uncertainties and complexities of adulthood, feeling like we're perpetually stuck in the process of "figuring it all out.”

While it's easy to get caught up in comparing our own journey to those of our peers, it's essential to remember that life doesn't adhere to a rigid timeline. Just because some of our friends are reaching traditional milestones doesn't mean we're falling behind. Each of us is on our unique trajectory, shaped by our individual aspirations, circumstances, and choices.

At 27, I find myself in the midst of this balancing act – grappling with the pressure to have it all figured out while simultaneously embracing the beauty of uncertainty. While some days it feels like I'm lagging behind, other days are filled with a sense of liberation, knowing that I have the freedom to explore different paths and possibilities.

One of the most significant challenges of navigating life at 27 is reconciling societal expectations with personal aspirations. On one hand, there's the pressure to conform to traditional norms of success – settling down, climbing the corporate ladder, or achieving financial stability. On the other hand, there's the inner yearning for authenticity and fulfillment, even if it means veering off the beaten path.

As friends celebrate milestones and accomplishments, it's natural to feel a twinge of envy or self-doubt. However, I've come to realize that success is subjective and multifaceted. While some measure success in terms of tangible achievements, others define it by the richness of experiences, depth of relationships, or alignment with one's values and passions.

In the midst of uncertainty, I've found comfort in the journey itself – in the lessons learned, the growth experienced, and the connections forged along the way. Life at 27 may not have all the answers, but it's a beautiful tapestry of highs and lows, victories and setbacks, all contributing to the intricate mosaic of who we are becoming.

The question hung in the air. The heaviness of it could be felt by both of us

“Yes , ofcourse I cared for you, ” my voice trembled.

“ That’s not what I asked,” he said

He looked at me from across our bedroom.

5 years hanging between us

“ Were you ever in love with me ?” He asked again

I looked away, avoided his eyes .

“ Did you ever love me ?” he whispered.

I could hear a mixture of emotions in his whisper as it broke

I looked at him, perhaps for the last time. My throat felt dry, preventing me from speaking , telling a lie .

I could not answer.

For how could I tell a man, who loved me,

I won’t be able to open my eyes,