#thinking process

I need certain things to happen after the fall that show it’s not just Robert who could be a suspect. I want the cops to get involved, and at first the Dingles are like, ‘Oh no, it can’t be John, it has to be Robert.’ But then the cops mention the drugs, and Robert couldn’t have done it because of the timing or whatever. Hopefully, that’s when gears start turning in people’s heads, especially since Cain got drunk and drugged the same way by John, so he could notice the similarities.

I know Cain is going to be at Vic’s throat next week, but maybe it’s because of John, not Robert, though that might just be wishful thinking. I would really get upset if Robert loses this farm story like this.

hopefully Mack's not dead, and what Vic and Paddy are gonna find is him alive but in critical condition (please don't let them find his dead body)

Also, if Paddy thinks it’s John, wouldn’t he find it strange that John said Aaron gave the message to his best mate? Like, Mack just wouldn't tell John, and it's even more suspicious that he says it now, like how does he know he told Mack...

Hi there! Thanks for your questions🥰 Glad you come asking! As soon as I saw your question, I know I'm gonna give a very long answer whether you want it or not ;)))) So here is my answer & I hope you like it.

To answer your question, first, yes they are remix of two different songs. One called Drive, and the other is Colors. I didn't do the remix, as I wrote in the details on YouTube. I had the idea to do it myself tho, because these two songs are very similar, and I was thinking why not mix them together? And when I searched it, I found one already exist. (& regretfully, it's not a collaboration (but I'd love to do collaboration works if I get the chance :) I wouldn't say it's how I'll remix it, but I love this verson too, and I can see the images poping into my head the second I heard it, so I went with it.

But if you're wondering about my process about the whole project (except the music of course), I never have a complicated process, was just following my structure step by step after thinking repeatedly and certain I wanted to do it that way.

This project didn't come out of blue. Actually I've thought about it for maybe a year or two before I get started.

The inspiration come straight from Halsey's Drive, and that whole album gives me a vibe of pure blue. I don't have synaesthesia, but I can always 'see' a lot of editing of my otp when I listen to musics.

To me, the core of SamnDean is the never ending road trip, exhaustion and everlasting love burning under the sun, especially in the early seasons. The color blue represents the feeling in my mind, and deep blue also gives me the vibe of 'haunting', just like wincest. Although they were apart when Sam was in Stanford, the memories were still haunting them from thousand miles away. And even when they're together, they're still haunted by their thoughts and feelings, just like when they were kids.

So Drive and the scenes of SamnDean came to me naturally when I heard the lyrics, especially when it came to the mutual pining and angst. And the pride mentioned in Drive is so canonned, SamnDean both have their pride, and from my understanding, that's part of the reason why they always end up hurting each other and their feelings.

Originally, I tried with two different songs, because they're both so related to wincest.

But Ride is more about 'I', and Drive is more about 'Us' like what I see in wincest. They are an indivisible whole, 'conjoined-twin' like they mentioned.

Besides, because I decided the color that represent that period is blue, I went to listen Colors again to find more inspiration, and that's when I found the melodies of these two songs are similar and wanted to do a remix (and you know what was going on with the bgm later).

Then, about the scenes and storyboard, like I said, I contemplated it for a long time and thought about it repeatedly, that I believe it's already refined in my head. I cannot give a exact process of how these ideas getting together, because it's been too long, and I don't remember where I started or how they mixed together. But what makes me wanted to do this is the line 'would it really kill you if we kissed?'

I'm not sure you've known me before, but I've tried to just paint one illustration with this line echo in my head, since I know it'll be so troublesome to start a goddamn video with just a blank canvas. But it didn't work, I still have this song in my head, and the non-exist storyboard was yelling at me, telling me to finish it.

So when I had a large block of free time, I started to decide which shots in my mind were suitable for the video and drew them into storyboards, with the change of music (from Drive to Drive and Colors).

Also, the change of lyrics gave me a new perspective. To me, the first line in Colors 'Your little brother never tells you but he loves you so' is more about Sam's POV, but from 'everything is blue', I see Dean. And re-read the whole lyrics, instead of making an ordinary one, I decided it'll have the different pov from Sam & Dean (I hope some of you realized it and know what I'm talking about here).

There still were changes from the draft to the final painting, but comparing to how many things I'll change when it comes to illustrations, it's nothing. It's more likely that I thought about it so often that there wasn't a lot to change when I finally started drawing.

About lyrics tho... I need to confess that I change some of it to make it more fitting. Also, I heard some wrong because I never read lyrics (oops)... so I didn't realize that I interpreted some wrong, until I was editing the video and searched it😅 But why not changing it? It sounds so similar with what I thought it was (like the way Halsey read 'you liked me' just like 'you are light to me'... I also wanted to mention the 'your laugh echos down the highway' one, but I found there are two different version so)

So yes, about some part of the lyrics fitting too well, blame my wild imagination 😉 xx

Anyway, I hope this answered your questions! Thanks for asking again, and if you wanna ask about something else you're more than welcomed to come back here! Hope you have a good day :)

Probably just part 1

Idk but I felt like sharing because this illustration is potentially going to take some time to do. So I've made a long post about it, be ready: I wanted to do something casual/everyday life for Lockwood and co. I could have chosen the kitchen but I really like the living room with all of its exotic finds and books. There is books everywhere in the house but there is potentially books there too and it's the "cleanest" part of the house, even though, we all know it's not exactly clean.

Finding ideas

First I made tons of little sketches to see what I really wanted to draw, as you can see, other scenes where considered but I wanted something showing the overall mood of the story, so it had to be inside the house. I also made character sketches you can find here to have a better idea of what I wanted for the characters.

Moodboards

I made two very small moodboards, mostly to capture the ethnic masks and finds Lockwood's parents might have brought back. I've found a very interesting ancient jar that fits how I envision it in the book and some things here and there: here I like the sofa, here the table's feet, here the mood.

3D model

I anticipated it to be a very complicated room to draw, so much things here and there to be drawn, I could have done a simple perspective on Clip studio like I usually do. But I needed to move around to find the right angle for my illustration. This was very useful. At the same time it was a great training for a future comic project I have. So it's great! Everyone wins!

Sketching the illustration

I have just found a video about one of the things I used to wonder about the most: why, even after we are having a great day or a great period filled with good emotions and experiences, if one single bad things happen, we give it much more importance than all the rest.

It seems that the reason is stored in our past bad experiences, and in the fact that our mind and body have to store and react to any bad/stressful/fearing thing that happens to us so that we can know immediatley what to do if that happens again: think about animals and being followed by predators... that's basically our survival mode.

The fact is that we cannot live all our life in survival mode, it's just unhealthy (an animal living in constant fear of their predator would never make it through the day, it'd be mentally impossible: you focus on that fact alone and lose sight of all the rest, eating included). We need to let go of fears. Losen the grip we hold onto them: they aren't confirmations of anything, cause we have no real clue of how things can turn out. We need to let go of the need to control stuff and their outcome by always searching for confirmations we're not going to go in a bad direction, cause we don't know yet. We need to stop focusing on the bad and how it affects us, but treat it as we do with the good: just live through it. It's part of life as everything else. Let's rebalance our perception of it. It's not the end of the world: everything is temporary, so more often than not, even the bad is.