#things learned

Today is my 29th birthday, last year I shared the 28 things I learned in 28 years.

This year, read some real talk about the 29 things I learned at 29.

You need to know these things and I cannot wait to hear what you think!

Marrying my wife goes down as one of my favourite days of my entire life.

I’m obsessed with chocolate-covered jube jubes (the ones from Walmart are the best)

I love the idea of being organized enough to send birthday cards to friends and family on time, but the reality is that I am really bad at it and often forget the day let alone the sending of the cards.

Living in a simple small town isn’t as boring as I thought.

I no longer meditate every morning like I did when I was 28, and I am okay with it.

Turns out salt on food is delicious. I am so sad I spent so many years depriving myself of it.

You can love having your period and hate your cramps at the same time. This saalt cup has been the best thing I got for my period.

Oat milk is delicious. Chocolate oat milk in coffee is next level.

I feel blessed to wake up every morning and do what I do.

FUN is my word this year and it is something I’ve had to be stretched and expended on to really understand. Structure/routine holds me back from having a lot of fun. Saying yes to things that sound fun and letting go of perfection has been so cool!

What is meant for you, will always find you. When an opportunity seemed to have been “missed” I soon saw that something better was right around the corner. Make peace with what doesn’t come to fruition or happen right away.

Showing up and speaking vulnerably takes courage, and it is worth it every time.

Instagram workshops are now a thing. I have sold out all 4 of the workshops I have hosted and I am blown away that this gets to be my life.

I am grateful that I have had to wait and practice patients for things in my life to happen the way I want them to.

Expressing 3 things I am grateful for before eating every meal is something I hope I do for the rest of my life. Example: “Grateful for sunshine, fresh vegetables and the fun I had with my wife today”.

I am done with the snow for now. Ready for the beach life.

Road trips to take photos and see cool things is a great way to spend the day.

Feeling guilt around not reading as many books as other Entrepreneurs is something I have had to let go of. I love podcasts and clearly learn better this way. For years I struggled with this and have finally started to feel less guilt around it. I like to read crime fiction, not self-help or business books.

You can do what you love and still be tired. You can do what you love and still become burnt out. You can do what you love and still get excited about taking a break.

You have got to invest in yourself if you expect others to invest in you.

Private people know how to post on social media all day and still, live a life you. don’t know anything about.

I’ve enjoyed almost every second of social distancing.

This past year I have hardly eaten meat. I eat it when I am out or when we cook a special meal from a recipe found online, but other than that I have hardly eaten it and I feel fantastic. The smell of meat and looking at meat in the grocery store is starting to gross me out.

You can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

The strongest people are those who win battles we know nothing about.

I have the most amazing clients/community in the world. Fight me on it. I dare you.

The people I love on Instagram are @emilyschromm @evanschildfitness @kelskiel

When I arise each morning I think about what a precious privilege it is to be alive. To breath. To think. To enjoy. To love.

I am impressed that you made it this far down the list. Whoever you are, I love you.

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to read this and for supporting me and my dreams.

I want you to know that I appreciate you so much.

The 29 things I learned at 29 have taken me on a rollercoaster ride and at the end of the day, I feel so blessed to live the life that I do.

BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR YOU!

I love birthdays and I love presents. I didn’t want to keep it all to myself, so I am sharing the birthday love with you! For my 29th birthday, you can enjoy 29% off ANY Dunnebells program. Click here to shop and use code “happybirthday” to save.

Until next time… stay strong. Be the fire.

1.) You won’t always be friends with your friends from high school. That’s ok. Sometimes you need to let people go. Sometimes distance causes you to lose touch. Whether it’s going to different colleges, or you feel that they are holding you back, or you feel they’re a bad influence on you. It’s ok to cease contact with an old friend.

2.) Audiobooks are an excellent way of consuming books while you’re busy.

In the past 3 days, I’ve gone through 2 audiobooks. I listen while I’m at work, in the car, at home cooking or playing video games. Sped up to 135%, they go quickly and are still slow enough to understand what the reader is saying.

3.) Meeting new friends when you’re out of school can be difficult. I’m now good friends with a co-worker I met the first year I started working. Other than that, I haven’t made any new lasting friendships offline. I’ve met many people online who are wonderful and have probably lost contact with half of them.

4.) Your goals and dreams aren’t going to complete themselves. I’ve had a website for just over three years now. I’ve wanted to use it as a blog site, a portfolio, and a writing page. I’ve finally decided to dedicate it to my writing and use it as an author/writer website. It’s still a WIP, and I need to come up with some sort of a content schedule, but I’m making steps toward my goal and it feels great.

5.) Don’t forget to make memories. A couple of pictures are great to remember a trip or event, but be sure you put your phone or camera down long enough to actually enjoy what you’re doing. Too many times, I’ve been at a concert and I’ve caught myself recording a bit of the show to post on Facebook or Instagram when I could be watching it and enjoying it instead. Now, I’ve made it a habit of keeping my phone in my bag except for one photo of the stage before the event.

6.) Learning a few quick meals from scratch can save money and make it look like you've got your shit together. Chicken or salmon, rice and frozen green beans with a little soy sauce or salt, butter, and garlic can make a fantastic meal. Bread can be really easy to make from scratch and then you have fresh bread. Just the other day, I bought two small steaks from the supermarket (both under $2), season them in olive oil and steak seasoning (or salt and pepper) for about half an hour and then fry them for a minute each side in a cast iron pan, then pop them into the oven at 400 degrees F for 4-8 minutes and you have two fully cooked steaks at rare and medium rare respectively. (Be sure to preheat your oven!)

7.) Say “Thank You” instead of “I’m Sorry.” I saw a post about this a while ago, and I’ve finally started putting it into practice. I’ve always been pretty confident but just saying “thanks for helping out” instead of “sorry for being such a bother” has helped my mental state immensely (when I remember to make that switch!)

8.) You can say no. Sometimes my coworkers invite me to dinner or events after work. I may be a terrible person, but I generally don’t like associating with my coworkers outside of work. I’ve started just saying “No, sorry, I can’t make it.” It relieves the stress you feel when you really don’t want to go and makes you seem a lot less flakey if you were going to end up canceling anyway.

9.) Form some good habits. When I’m not driving, my keys are attached to my bag so I know where they are. I make and eat breakfast every morning before I go to work so that I don’t buy snacks in the cafeteria and eat a bunch of unhealthy junk food. I make sure all my dirty laundry ends up in the hamper (or in my case, the shopping cart under the laundry chute). Anything that makes life a little easier for you is worth it!

10.) You don’t need a fancy bullet journal to keep appointments. I have tried for years to have a planner to keep all of my notes and appointments. I just can’t stick with it and end up with more scrap paper notes than things actually written in the journal or planner.

11.) A little downtime can be good.

I’ve had the whole last week off from work. I had to deal with some family for the holidays and oh man, that was a lot. For the rest of the time, I did some self-care, puttered about cleaning the house and spending time with the furbabies. I probably should have spent some more time away from screens, but other than that, I feel refreshed and ready to take on the new year.

12.) Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Whether it’s a project at work or school or something in your personal life, friends, family, and even strangers on the internet are always willing to lend a hand or give advice or lend a hand to solve a problem.

13.) Your idols are only human. We’ve seen so many pasts catch up to people since the #MeToo movement, or careers ruined over a tweet in poor taste. It’s important to remember that the people you look up to are not infallible. Sometimes it’s a forgivable misstep. Other times, you won’t be able to look at them the same way again.

14.) Take care of your body. Get your yearly physical. Get your eyes checked. Check boobs for lumps. Eat some veggies. It’s your body and you may hate it sometimes, but make sure you’re listening when it tells you something is wrong. And no matter what anyone else says, I think you’re beautiful <3.

15.) Check in with your friends. If you care about someone, it’s good to check in with them from time to time. Go out to dinner to catch up, or even bring them a pizza or your favorite take-out. Make sure that they’re all good. Best case, you have a great meal with a friend. Worst case, you’re making yourself available to give them support if they need it.

16.) Don’t forget to remember the good. A lot of times, when something bad happens, we can be sucked down into a loop of infinite negativity. Even if good things are happening, it can be hard to overlook the negative. Take screenshots of your favorite comments and messages and put them somewhere you can find them when you need a little positivity in your life.

17.)  I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. And that’s ok. I started out wanting to be a paleontologist, then a detective, and a writer, and pretty much everything except an astronaut or the president. I have a job working in advertising and I enjoy it enough, but I know that this isn’t going to be my end point. It’s ok to keep trying and finding things you can cross off of your dream job list to help narrow it down.

Please tell me I'm not alone in being amazed every year at how fast my birthday comes around...I mean, it's every year! And yet somehow I'm never prepared. I always make the mistake of making goals of things to accomplish before my birthday (including this blog post...here I am the night before) and I rarely get them done on time, because that's life. This year, though, I do feel like the first 6 months have been pretty spectacular and I have never felt more like I'm on the right track than I do right now.

So, in honor of my birthday, here are some things I've learned in my 24 years. Vincent helped me edit out things about taxes or visas because who wants to hear about that?? But, in all seriousness, I do feel like this past year I finally entered full adulthood and I can see the ways my personality and choices have been tempered by that. It's something I'm proud of. I'm looking forward to at least another 24 years and many, many more things learned.

Learn to say "yes" more and opportunities will continue to come.

Enjoy staying up late while you have the energy to do so. That really does go away at some point.

Shortness can be cute but you can't make it your identity or you'll always be unhappy.

You actually can bleach your hair and do your nails yourself, but it costs more money than high schoolers are willing to spend so you should definitely wait till you're an adult.

Dentist appointments are the worst until you can't afford them and wish you could go.

Every system of government has its own set of problems and it's really just about picking the one you can stomach best.

You'll be working your whole life so always be working towards something good.

High school is actually just as short and inconsequential as your parents always told you it was.

If you want to live in one of the most expensive cities in the world, GO AND DO IT. Do not make plans to do it later. Just work hard enough to be able to afford it and expect every day to be a new challenge.

Herbal tea actually only needs to be steeped for like 8 minutes, not with the bag left in the entire time you're drinking it.

Definitely take and appreciate every advantage of living at home and the costs your parents shoulder to allow you to do that.

Your parents aren't lame for thinking dinner and a movie every Friday night for 15 years is a fun date night idea.

Everything costs double when you get married.

Appreciate your mom making you do the dishes your entire childhood because it will make it easy to do them when you have no kids to pass that chore off to (yet) as an adult.

If you dream as big as you possibly can and then work as hard as you're able, those dreams will happen.

Learning a language isn't easy. Go easy on people from other places and realize that they are feeling more social anxiety than you might be in most settings.

You actually can get sick of French baguettes.

Walk. Walk as much as you can, as many places as you can, every day. It's the key to health and happiness.

Cars and houses are black holes for your money, so don't sign on for that until you're sure it's going to be worth your investment.

Internet comment threads are not worth anyone's time and do not change anyone's mind.

If you can't put your money where your mouth is, you shouldn't open it.

Your 20's are the time to keep your head down and work hard if you want to feel in control of your future.

Appearance matters. Practice good hygiene and nice style ALWAYS.

Enjoy your art.

Give into your desires.

Go WILD.

Have fun!✨✨

Loving yourself is a good tool.

Art is subjective so it's okay to have different opinions.

Mistakes happen, but you can learn from them.

There are good people on this world.

Helping others can be rewarding with or without compensation.

You can be afraid, no matter your age, race, or sex.

A compliment for anything, even the little things, can mean a lot to someone.

Talk to someone when you need help.

Crying is not weakness.

Indifference is the true opposite of love.

Giving is better than receiving.

Love is the greatest gift of all.

Compromise does not mean defeat.

You can feel any way you want.

Sorrow can be a beautiful happiness.

There's no timer for grief.

It's okay to know your limits, but try not to limit your dreams.

Don't be swayed by thousands of voices; your opinion matters.