#theyby

By: Christina Buttons and Colin Wright

Published: Aug 3, 2022

Last month, a mother of three young children made a post in a Facebook group for parents of “transgender kids” asking members when they began to notice their “trans child” (or themselves, for the adult trans members) exhibiting discomfort at being addressed according to “their assigned at birth gender.” She is curious because she claims to have noticed her “almost 2 year old” son getting “upset” when she refers to him using the word “boy.”

Because her son has apparently shown interest in stereotypically feminine things “from birth” like “long hair and pretty dresses and pink,” she decides that she “will no longer say terms with boy in it to him.”

In a public post on her personal page, the mother makes the extraordinary claim that she and all three of her children have Autism Spectrum Disorder.

While she doesn’t yet refer to her son as “trans,” she says a friend “mentioned it as a possibility,” and so she is asking whether anyone in the group had “experienced this from this young of an age.”

To back up her claim that her 1-year-old son “gets upset when I call him ‘baby boy,’” she shared a video of herself asking her son “are you my boy?” In the video, her son starts out smiling, but after his mother asks “are you my boy?” the child opens his mouth and his expression appears somewhat neutral.

Whether the boy changed his expression in response to the term “boy,” the mother’s tone, or for completely unrelated reasons is impossible to parse. Does the child, who the mother revealed in earlier posts is “autistic” and “doesn’t speak,” even understand what his mother is asking?

The mother’s posting history in the group begins in January 2021, when her son is only 4 months old. Throughout 2021, she posts about her infant “autistic” son’s gentle nature, his gravity towards baby dolls, his dislike for trucks, his long hair, and his apparent happiness at wearing dresses and girls’ accessories. None of this would be that strange, but since the mother is posting to a group for parents of “transgender kids,” it appears that she is searching for signs that her son might be transgender.

Her first post in the group describes her 4 month old son’s “gentle” play with a soft plastic toy baby doll.

Several days later, the mother posts again about her son’s preference for a plastic toy baby that he puts in his mouth, as infants tend to do with any soft plastic object when they are teething between 4 and 7 months old. The mother, however, describes this as “kissing his baby!”

She dresses her son in a bow and comments on how much he “loves” it and how he starts smiling when she puts it on him, as babies often do when their mothers show them attention and affection. She appears to be, once again, searching for reasons to believe her 4-month-old son might be transgender.

The mother then shared a story about something that happened at her son’s 6-month doctor visit. While in the doctor’s office, her son was given a book about trucks. The mother claims that she “sighed a bit after they left the room” because her son “has no interest in trucks and prefers babies,” and that she “felt a bit weirded out” that someone would simply assume her son would like trucks “because he’s a boy.” She also fishes for compliments on her “son’s beautiful hair!”

A commenter on her post then questions whether a 6-month-old can even have “gender preferences” in toys, adding that “At 6 months the only question is if it goes in your mouth or not.” The mother then confirms her son’s tendency for putting random toys in his mouth.

Several days later, she posts 17 photos to the group of a collection of new clothing items she bought from both the boys’ and girls’ sections intended for her son to wear.

A month later she shares a photo of her son in the “blue unicorn dress” she bought him. Although she claims to want to raise him as “gender fluid/neutral,” the clothing options she celebrates are those typically worn by girls.

“Look at the satisfied and happy look on my son’s face,” she remarks.

“People act like kids this age can’t have preferences on the things they like but they can and do!” she says about her 8 month old baby.

In August 2021, her son is now 1 year old. She shares with the group that her son likes to take clothes out of his drawers and that one day he “picked out a rainbow skirt” that she immediately put on him and took pictures to share with the group. She then explained her parenting philosophy of raising her children in a “gender free environment.”

Usually, “gender free” parenting consists of choosing colors like yellow, green, orange, white and brown, but this mother appears to think that “gender free” parenting involves encouraging her son to dress up in clothes typically worn by girls so that his boyness gets neutralized.

Again, none of this would be that unusual for an infant boy to play with dolls or dress up in a skirt had the mother not been posting about these things in a Facebook group for parents of “transgender kids” with the intent to seek advice and praise from other parents of “trans kids.”

In addition to sharing updates on her children’s gender journeys, she shares other transgender-related content she finds to the group. Interestingly, in a post from March of last year (2021), the mother actually makes an effort to discuss different viewpoints with the group by sharing a YouTube video from Blaire White, a well-known trans woman and critic of modern gender ideology. She points out that Blaire “doesn’t agree with theybies, child transitioning, etc.”

Moderators asked her to repost with a the link to the video in the comments so that it would not be as visible and easily playable for those scrolling the group’s timeline. They also insisted she add a “trigger warning” to avoid upsetting anyone who doesn’t want to be exposed to alternative viewpoints on trans issues.

Only one person replies to say he would rather listen to “trans folx” instead of “giving clicks to hatred.”

In addition to her “theyby,” she also has two other young girls who at the time of posting are 3 and 5. She asks the group for book and video recommendations on pronouns that are “easy to understand.”

Commenters recommend their favorite transgender children’s books about pronouns, and she buys them all.

Several days later—SURPRISE!—her eldest daughter, who is 5, has requested to be addressed using “they/them” pronouns. According to the mother, her daughter “still say[s] they’re a girl,” and is therefore still her daughter “for now.” The mother also admits she “wasn’t sure” her daughter “understood what it meant” to go by they/them pronouns, and so she “check[s] in occasionally to see if they still want to go by they/them,” adding that “it’s been solid ever since.”

She says her “husband wasn’t thrilled about it,” but that she knew she was “making the right decision” after conferring with the group. So, full steam ahead on her autistic 5-year-old daughter’s social transition.

What could be the motivation for all this?

On her personal page, she shares a public post of a screenshot from one of her TikTok videos showing her excitement at reaching “1000 likes.” It seems she may be using her children’s “trans” and “nonbinary” identities for clicks and to bring attention to her business selling social justice themed t-shirts.

Some of the t-shirts her children model for on TikTok feature statements like “Regulate Your Dick,” and include a woman’s hand giving you the middle finger. Another t-shirt displays the trans activist mantra “trans women are women.”

In a recent post she excitedly proclaims her TikTok channel has reached “10.5K likes!!” Her profile displays her intersectional bonifides: “They/them | Agender | Actually autistic | BLM.”

Another series of posts made 14 months apart reveal that the mother has been on a bit of a “gender journey” herself. In a post on January 15, 2021, she claims that she’s “a cis gender/bisexual woman so although I fall under the LGBTQ+ spectrum for sexuality, I don’t for gender,” (emphasis added). But in a post on March 18, 2022, she claims “I’m agender (a form of non binary),” and her TikTok profile in the image above indicates that she now uses they/them pronouns.

It’s difficult not to ponder whether this is a marketing strategy for her business.

This is the current end to the ongoing saga of an “agender” mom and her three autistic children she seems intent on guiding into transgender identities.

While this is only one case study, this is by no means rare. Every day, countless parents arrive in these private Facebook Groups seeking guidance from strangers. As we have reported elsewhere, these groups act as indoctrination centers for scared and confused parents—mostly mothers—looking for help and advice for their equally confused children who have succumbed to gender ideology. But instead of help, Group members guilt trip and shame parents into fast-tracking their children to hormones and surgeries.

We hope that by bringing these stories to light, we can help the public better understand the cult-like nature of these groups, and the true extent of the harm being brought upon vulnerable children in the name of “Social Justice” and “acceptance.”

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“iT'S JuSt aBoUt tRaNs rIgHtS!!1!” What about the child’s right not to be screwed up by a fanatical mother?

Try to tell me this isn’t a cult. Try to tell me this isn’t entirely about stupid stereotypes. Try to tell me this is just the natural result of increasing acceptance. Try to tell me this isn’t Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy and entirely about the mother.

I dare you.

Theydie or theydy: a they/them lady or a neutralized form of duke and lady.

“While the decision may ruffle a few feathers, gender neutrality in humans has only recently become a widespread topic of conversation,” Graham McGrath, the aquarium’s general manager, said in a statement. “However, it is completely natural for penguins to develop genderless identities as they grow into mature adults.” 🌈

parenthood looks so good on me.