#they panicked

They both panicked at their respective realization moments.

He, when he realized he didn´t love C, and calmed down when he figured out who he did love instead.

She, when she finally admitted what she had been denying for years, what she really felt for him.

He fell first.

I´m not sure who fell harder.

All I know for sure is that neither of them liked what they learned from their respective Eureka moments.

The other teachers were like, “What do you need? How can we support you?” And I was getting out, like, maybe one-word sentences. Mostly “um.”

Then one of the kids comes up and says, “Are you okay?”

(Because I am clearly not.  I am sitting on a stool while the other teachers are in crisis mode, figuring out who’s going to cover me.)

My eyes magically focus and I say, “I’m not feeling well right now. I need to go home and rest.”

Like, WHAT?!?!  Where the fuck did I have that stored up? 

Today, he was late for ANSC 1. And on top of that, he didn’t bring a bluebook. Tsk tsk. He didn’t trust me.

Anyway, I didn’t get a chance to see if he watched me pass my exam papers and leave the lecture hall. But I quickly went to Men’s Dorm to talk to Dee. And I did.

I told her about stuff that’s happened and all that.

I also told her about the story Carly told me yesterday. She was so surprised and she was like, “He’s such a coward.”

After that I walked to Chess alone. I finished early with Jeni. And that was when I finally got to watch him play basketball. He wore a white shirt and a pair of blue jersey shorts with the number 16 on it. He even played basketball lazily. But when the ball was passed to him, he suddenly had so much swag and shit I fell even harder. Man! xD

And then, after that, I had the worst experience of the week… I was this close to walking into a group of naked guys that were gonna run at the so-called “oblation run”.

Good thing Jeni had the good sense to have us avoid them.

Anyway, during ECON 11, Cam told me her side of the story. She said that as they walked out of the lecture hall, she called LJ and said, “Hey LJ, Kia said ‘hi’.”

And then he said, “I know.:)”

And that was when Cam sort of panicked. She was like this in her head, “Oh my god! What does LJ know?! Kia didn’t tell me that she told him her feelings for him already!” But on the outside she was like this, “What do you know? How did you know?”

Cam described his reply like this: just his usual awkward kind of smile and then he ignored them.

I think. But I really think they bid him goodbye and left.

I wanted to call him earlier… but I thought better of it.

I’ll just tell him over the weekend.