#there is a solution

Today is 6 months from the day I woke up out of a coma after two months out ending in one final night of very hard use and a suicide attempt.

I am so grateful today.

Grateful that I didn’t die that night. My sponsor tells me that the nurses told him when he got to the hospital that it was a miracle I had survived and was still able to communicate because I had stopped breathing multiple times over the time I was out.

I’m so grateful to my sponsor for sticking with me through everything. He has been with me through all of my ups and downs of my bipolar disorder and helped me to grow as a person.

I’m extremely grateful to my homegroup and all of the other amazing people I’ve met in the program who I’ve learned from. And to the people who told me they would love me until I could love myself and really meant it.

Six months ago I was miserable. When I woke up I wished I had died. I spent the next 21 days in a psych hospital where I met an amazing woman I believe that god put in my life from the program. She and my sponsor convinced me to go to rehab.

I spent 21 days in rehab where they adjusted my medication properly and my desperation kicked in. I tried my hardest to work the first three steps. By no means did I feel like I had a grip on anything when I left, but I felt like I had something to hold on to.

Felicia: Ah, wait a second. You’re not from here are you?

Alicia: !!!!!!!

Felicia: I’m taking that as a yes! How did you get in the box?

Alica: …..it…was supposed to be a joke with Lucia and someone sent me away.

Felicia: Lucia the mafia boss or Lucia 2019?

Alicia: !!!!!!! First one

You can't help somebody who doesn't realize they've got a problem! Coddling them isn't gonna work! We go to AA meetings, we follow a program. We do this to recognize the shit in us that make us think that drugs and alcohol is a solution to our problems—

Unless the Alcoholic concedes to his innermost self that he cannot drink responsibly, who doesn't believe he has a problem, who believes that someone will always be there to clean up his mess—there is no help for them.

I sponsor ladies who share the same problem with addiction as me. But my neighbor who is a frequent flyer in and out of the rooms of AA is being coddled by my boyfriend who thinks that dude will recover as long as he helps him to the hospital when he has alcohol poisoning, lets him borrow money because dude needs "cigarettes" when we both know damn well what that money I going toward because my bf and I are both alcoholics and addicts like

YOU ARE ONE. YOU KNOW DUDE IS TOO. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

You're enabling him. In part, you're killing him. Dude has not had enough pain and suffering. Let him do what he wants to do and then he'll be open to the solution.

Ushiwaka and Tendou don’t really do anything special for valentine’s day

When their first valentine’s day came around, they didn’t know whether they were supposed to get each other any gifts and they just met up at Ushijima’s place like usual

So instead, the two just cuddle on the couch to watch some anime every year

They also wait to buy candy until the next day when it’s cheaper lol

Tendou thought it would be funny and seasonally appropriate to binge watch a shoujo anime once

“But Wakatoshi-kun it’s valentine’s day and we need to do something romantic~”

“You never cared about these things before.”

“Shush, this is gonna be fun. Semi-semi said his sister said this was a good show.”

Ushiwaka wasn’t sure as to whether or not Semi could be trusted but he let Tendou go about his plan anyway

Towards the end, Tendou was screaming “KISS HER ALREADY OH MY FUCKING GOD THEY’RE DENSER THAN OIKAWA AND IWAIZUMI” at the TV

Ushijima was inexpressive as usual, but on the inside he was damn close to breaking the TV out of anger.