I owe you
Summary: Y/N is a therapist struggling to make ends meet. One day, the handsome jock who protected her from high school bullies in exchange for doing his homework calls and offers her a life-changing amount of money. But Y/N doesnβt know how to accept help. And Harry canβt stop giving it. (therapist!reader x retired hockey player!harry)
Word count: 19.6k
Warnings: bullying; mentions of trauma, abuse, other topics related Y/Nβs job as a therapist; financial struggles; angst; smut (dom!harry, rough sex, light choking, teasing, spanking, degradation); protective!harry; sugar daddy!harry (kind ofβ¦ no age gap)
A/N: This was loosely inspired by a Reddit post about a woman who was contacted by the guy that protected her from high school bullies. It started off as a cute lil fic, but I became deeply invested in these characters and here we are at 19k words... I hope youβll love them too <3
MASTERLIST
***
The space heater shuts off with a rattling sound. Y/N gets up to unplug the ancient thing and plug it back in for the third time that day. It whirs back to life. Only a temporary fix, of course. She bought it last fall at a sketchy garage sale.
She pulls her sweater tighter around her body. Her clients have been keeping their coats on during sessions for the past couple weeks as the weather has gotten cooler.
The clinic phone rings. She picks up.
βHi, youβve reached the Trauma & Wellness Centre.β
βHi, Y/N. Itβs Agatha. Iβm calling to let you know I canβt make it for tomorrowβs session. I know Iβm calling within the twenty-four-hour window, but itβs a family emergency. Do I still have to pay the late cancellation fee?β
Y/N could make her pay the late fee and probably should, considering how tight finances have been.
βNo, Agatha. Thatβs okay. Thank you for calling and letting me know.β
After hanging up, she looks up at the ceiling and groans loudly. Thatβs the second client who has cancelled this week. Both of them are some of her only clients paying the full fee for her sessions because she offers a sliding scale, which most people end up using.
The phone starts ringing again. She squeezes her eyes shut, bracing herself for another cancellation.
βTrauma & Wellness Centre,β she says, hoping she doesnβt sound as miserable as she feels.
βHi, Y/N,β is all the caller says. A deep male voice. Most of her clients are women of various ages, though she has seen some men in the past. This doesnβt sound like any of them though.
She waits for him to say something else, but he doesnβt. βWho is this?β
βHarry. From high school.β
She doesnβt speak.
βThe guy you did homework for? The one whoββ
βI remember you.β Of course she remembers him. How could she not? βHow did you get this number?β
βFrom your website?β
βOh. Right.β If someone wanted to find her, it would be pretty easy to search up her name, click on her clinic website, and get her contact information from there.
βHowβs life?β he asks.
This is so weird.
βUm, good,β she answers, while her mind works in the background to make sense of this odd situation. βSorry, why are you calling?β
He clears his throat. βIβve been thinking about everything that went down in high school. The way people treated you. The way I treated you...β He pauses, takes a breath. βI donβt like who I was back then.β
She narrows her eyes, confused. βYou defended me,β she says slowly, wondering if sheβs the one misremembering things.
βI exploited you. Made you do my homework and cheated off you in exams in return for defending you. I wanted to apologize and pay you back for all the work you did.β
βYou want to pay me back for doing your homework in high school?β
βMhm. So, what do you need? A house? A car?β
She laughs. βYou cannot be serious right now. This isβ¦ This is a joke, right?β
He must be pulling some sort of prank on her. Is he in cahoots with others from high school? Did they plan this?
βIβm serious, Y/N.β
βYouβre willing to spend thousands of dollars on me becauseβ¦ What? You feel guilty about something that happened fifteen years ago?β She wonders if he also hears how absurd that sounds.
βLook, Iβ¦ Iβve done quite well for myself since then. Letβs just say I have a lot more money than I need. Iβm not making empty promises here.β
He sounds sincere. But she still canβt wrap her mind around any of it.
βThis is ridiculous. I havenβt even seen you since high school, Harry.β
βWould you be more open to it if we met in person?β
βMaybe? No.β She covers her eyes with her hand and sighs. βI donβt know.β
βLetβs meet.β
She has to admit sheβs curious about him. Back in high school, he was this tall, handsome jock. The girls wouldβve been all over him if he wasnβt so intimidating. But it was that intimidating demeanor that successfully kept the bullies away from her.
He wasnβt mean though. Even when telling her bullies to back off, he didnβt do it in a way that personally attacked their character. He was just serious, straightforward, and had enough muscle on him to scare off the guys who had been especially cruel to Y/N.
She wonders what heβs like today. So, she agrees to meet him, and they exchange numbers.
As she locks up the clinic for the night, the conversation is replaying in her head. Why now? Why would he reach out to her now? After all these years?
She gets into her carβan old, beatup Honda Civic, which is also hanging on by a loose thread. The check engine light comes on as she turns the key in the ignition. She desperately needs a visit to the mechanic.
Harryβs offer is already starting to look tempting.
***
Y/N doesnβt know what to wear to this meeting. Should she dress like someone that has her shit together and doesnβt need his pity money? Or should she dress like someone whose life is falling apart and could clearly use some help? Ultimately, she decides to stay in her work clothesβa simple blouse and dress pants.
She drives to the address he sent her. As she pulls up to the house, she notices the size of it. The huge winding driveway leading to a three-car garage, the perfectly manicured lawn, the pristine porch with a bench and flowerpots.
She rings the doorbell and waits. Harry appears a moment later, dressed comfortably in a hoodie and sweatpants, and yes, just as handsome as she remembers, but now in a more mature, rugged way with stubble and crinkles by his eyes when he smiles. His curls are styled much better than they were in high school, when he didnβt seem to know quite what to do with them.
βCome in.β
She steps into the spacious foyer. It smells like a fall scented candle in here, notes of cinnamon and vanilla in the air.
βIβm surprised you invited me to your house.β
He takes her coat without asking and hangs it up in the closet. βI wanted you to see Iβm not lying about the money.β
βWhat do you do for a living?β She looks up at the tall ceiling, sun pouring in through the skylight.
βI play hockey. Or I used to. I retired last year.β He shoves his hands in his pockets.
βOh. I had no idea. Then again, I know nothing about that world.β
βIt pays a stupid amount. As you can see.β
βItβs just you living here?β
He nods. She wonders if it ever gets lonely.
As he leads her to the living room, he offers her something to drink. She politely declines. They sit on separate couches, facing each other.
βYou look different,β he says, studying her for a moment.
βSo do you.β
They stare at each other. He looks away first, a faint smirk on his lips that she wouldβve missed if she wasnβt looking so closely.
βYouβre a therapist now,β he states.
βYeah. I unfuck peopleβs brains, as my best friend Cindy says.β
βSome people in high school couldβve used that.β
βI didnβt have the skills back then, unfortunately.β
He laughs. She holds back a grin.
βSo, the offer...β she begins, rerouting her attention from his cute dimples to the point of their meeting.
He nods, encouraging her to continue.
βWhy? I mean, why now?β
He leans back on the couch, laying one arm over the back of it, his pensive gaze settling on the glass table between them. βSince retiring, Iβve had a lot of time to think. And the one thing I canβt get off my mind is...β His green eyes lift to find hers. βYou.β
She swallows. Her throat feels dry. Maybe she shouldβve accepted that drink.
βLike I said on the phone, I donβt like the way I exploited you when you were vulnerable.β He pauses, jaw tightening. βI told myself at the time that it was a fair trade. Protection for homework. But thatβs not what it was. You were scared and alone, and I saw an opportunity. I donβt regret defending you. I just regret trying to get something out of it.β He runs a hand through his hair. βIβd like to think Iβm not that person anymoreβ¦β
She didnβt truly believe he felt guilty until now, seeing and hearing him explain it to her in person. The way he struggles to meet her eyes but still wills himself to. The way he fidgets with the strings on his hoodie. Heβs clearly been rehearsing what to say and how to say it.
βHarry,β she starts gently, βI appreciate you reaching out to apologize after all these years. But I really donβt needβor wantβyour pity.β
He shakes his head. βThatβs not what this is. Y/N, I wouldnβt have all thisββhe gestures vaguely to their surroundingsββif it wasnβt for you. I owe you.β
She laughs. βYouβre giving me too much credit.β
βYouβre the reason I was able to party my way through high school and still get into a good university.β
That part may be true, but she still doesnβt believe she was the reason he made it this far. She decides to concede on that point.
βI just think that money could be used for much better things,β she argues. βYou could donate to a charityββ
βI already donate to charities.β
βOkay, well, maybe I could give you a list of charities that are close to my heart andββ
βThatβs not enough. I want to help you directly.β His gaze is intense now, piercing into her with determination. βConsider it a donation to your clinic.β
She pauses. Itβs technically the same thing. Him sending her money versus βdonatingβ it to the clinic. And yet, this framing makes it sound different. Better. Noble.
She thinks of the dying space heater. The clients who keep cancelling. The old work computer that takes fucking ages to turn on. The things she could do with that money are⦠Well, endless.
βYouβre actually making a difference,β he says more softly this time. βI just played a game. You deserve this money more than I do.β
She wants to keep arguing, but thereβs no point. He has his mind made up, and she can be quite stubborn herself. Theyβll keep talking in circles.
βCan I think about it?β she asks.
βSure. The offer doesnβt expire.β
***
βSo, let me get this straight,β says Cindy, swirling around her iced matcha.
Y/N needed to consult someone about this whole situation, and Cindy would tell it to her straight. So, she invited her to brunch that Saturday.
βYou have a hot, rich former hockey player offering you a shitload of money for nothing in returnβ¦β Cindy taps a finger against her chin. βIβm not sure Iβm seeing the issue.β
Y/N quirks a brow. βI never said he was hot.β
Her friend rolls her eyes. βBitch, I googled him. Those shots of him on the ice are sexy.β
Y/N hadnβt even thought of googling him. Sheβs been too busy with work. Maybe she should do her research too.
βFine. Heβs hot. But thatβs not the point.β
βRight. The money is the point.β Cindy leans forward on the table, punctuating her next few words, βThe money that you very clearly need! When someoneβs throwing you a life raft, Y/N, you take it.β
βWouldnβt you feel weird accepting money from some guy from high school?β
βMaybe at firstβ¦ But then Iβd take a look at my bank account, and it wouldnβt feel weird anymore.β Cindy shrugs and takes a bite of her sandwich.
Y/N sighs. Her friend does have a point. Most people in her position wouldnβt hesitate to accept an offer like this. In fact, they would jump at the chance for free money before even vetting that it was legit. Is she being stupid for not accepting it?
βLook, youβre struggling,β Cindy says, more gently now. βMark royally fucked you over and left you with heaps of debt. You keep giving discounted sessions to clients even though you canβt afford it because youβre a good fucking person.β She reaches for Y/Nβs hand on the table and gives it an earnest squeeze. βYou, of all people, deserve this money.β
Y/N looks down at their hands, feeling the weight of Cindyβs words settle in her chest. Her closest friend who has known her for nearly a decade.
βThatβs what this is really about, right?β asks Cindy. βYou think you donβt deserve it.β
That thought has been nagging at her ever since the initial phone call with Harry. She has always been someone who earns her success, who fights for every scrap. Hardship is familiar, perhaps even comfortable. But that also means she doesnβt know when to ask for help or even how to accept help when itβs offered to her on a silver platter like this.
She is struggling. Mark, her idiot of an ex-husband and former business partner, mismanaged their clinicβs finances. When he lost his license for misconduct, he disappeared, leaving Y/N to pay off the debts he incurred. Sheβs not blameless; she was stupidly in love and blindly trusted him.
She canβt bring herself to ask Harry to pay off her debt. She just canβt. Not yet. But maybe she can use his help in other ways.
That night, she calls him.
βHey. Soβ¦β She takes a deep breath. βI guess I could use help with a couple things at the clinic.β
She expects some smug response about her finally giving in, but all he says is, βOkay. Name them.β
βThe chairs in the waiting room need to be replaced.β
βDone.β
βAnd my work computer. Itβs from 2018. I could use a new one.β
βDone.β
βThatβs all.β
βAre you sure?β
βMhm.β
A few moments of silence pass by, as if heβs waiting for her to change her mind and add more to the list, but she doesnβt.
βAlright,β he says. βWell, if you think of anything elseββ
βIβll let you know. Thanks. I appreciate it.β
βNo need to thank me.β
***
The new computer arrives that following week. The chairs are delivered the next day.
Y/N is in her office, catching up on notetaking for her sessions that day, when she hears footsteps out in the waiting room. Itβs nearly five oβclock. She has no more appointments that day, so sheβs not sure who to expect when she walks out of her office.
She certainly wasnβt expecting Harry. Dressed in a blue long-sleeve shirt and black athletic shorts, sunglasses perched on his head. He waves.
βHey, what are you doing here?β she asks.
βJust came to see if the chairs arrived.β
βYeah, they got here an hour ago. I still need to get rid of the old ones.β She eyes the worn-out chairs with holes in the fabric. The new ones are stacked in a corner.
βI can do that.β
She raises her brows. βOh, you donβt have to. I was going to take care of it after finishing my work.β
βNo, no. Iβve got this. You go do your thing.β He starts moving towards the old chairs before she can protest.
She returns to her office and sits down at her desk. Harry can be seen through the blinds, carrying the chairs out to the dumpster. She tries to focus on her notes, but her attention shifts to the window each time he walks by. She watches him pause at one point, placing the chairs down, his hand rubbing his hip. Even through his shirt, she can see his muscles flexing as he picks them back up.
After some time, he stops appearing outside her window. She hears movement out in the waiting roomβthe sound of him rearranging the new chairs.
Then heβs in her doorway. She meets his gaze, smiles. He saunters in, observing his surroundings. The art on the walls. The plants on the windowsill. The couch set up on one side of the room facing an armchair, a coffee table in the middle. Her desk sits on the far side of the room.
βNice office,β he comments.
βThanks.β
βHowβs the new computer?β
She glances at it. βFantastic. Hasnβt crashed on me once. But Iβm still hitting save every other minute because I have trust issues.β
He chuckles.
βBit chilly in here, no?β he asks, shoving his hands into his pockets.
βThatβs because I turned off the space heater.β She pats the old thing on the floor by her desk.
He frowns. βNo central heating in this place?β
βThere is. Or used to be. Itβs wonky.β
He gives her a look that tells her exactly what heβs about to say.
βWe can get that fixed, you know.β
She hesitates. βYouβve already done a lot.β
βA computer and chairs is not a lot.β
For him, itβs hardly a drop in the bucket. She bites her lip, considering it. Itβs definitely harder to say no with him standing right there, looking at her with his intense green eyes.
βOkay, it would be nice to not freeze my ass off every time Iβm in here,β she admits.
βDone,β he says. Like heβs her fucking fairy godmother. Or her own personal genie in a bottle. A cute genie. With dimples and broad shoulders and incredibly toned thighsβwow, how had she not noticed the thighs?
She realizes sheβs staring and yanks her gaze back up to his face.
βI should get back to my notes,β she says.
βRight. Iβll leave you to it. Bye, Y/N.β He backs out of her office.
βBye, Harry.β
As soon as she hears the front door close, she turns to her computer and googles his name, clicking on Images first. Cindy was right. Harry in hockey gear is mesmerizing. On the ice, he looks stern, focused, and intimidating. Photos of him off the iceβin press interviews and photoshootsβshow a different side. Warm, friendly, and kind. In all of them, he looks undeniably attractive.
After scrolling through images for God knows how long, she returns to the All tab. She clicks on his Wikipedia page, scanning his accolades. A list of championships, MVP awards, stats that mean nothing to her. Then she reaches the section on his retirement. Recurring injuries. Surgeryβ She closes the tab. It feels too personal.
The link below his Wikipedia and Instagram is for The Styles Foundationβa charity founded by Harry that focuses on youth mental health initiatives and, more recently, covering the cost of therapy for retired athletes who canβt afford it.
Reading about his charity, Y/N feels a different kind of connection to him that she never did before. Connected not only by their past but also a causeβthe desire to make mental health care more accessible.
Next, she looks up videos of Harry playing hockey. Watching him masterfully weave his way through his opponents on the ice makes something stir in her lower abdomen. After spending fifteen minutes watching his top ten career highlights and slow motion fan edits of his best goals, she snaps out of her trance and abruptly closes the window.
***
A few days later, Y/N parks outside her clinic, mentally gearing up for the day ahead. If she remembers correctly from her calendar, she has a day full of back-to-back sessions. As she exits her car, she notices a woman standing outside the clinic entrance, watching her. Sheβs in her forties, maybe, with a neat bob and a blazer. Not one of her clients.
βAre you Y/N Y/L/N?β asks the woman as she approaches.
βYes.β
βYouβre my daughterβs therapist.β
βWhoβs your dauββ
βHow dare you?β
The vitriol in her voice takes Y/N by surprise.
βHow dare you report me to child protective services? I have never hurt my daughter or any of my children. I would never do such a thing!β
Now she understands. This is Kaylaβs mother. Nineteen-year-old Kayla began seeing Y/N six months ago. Last month, she opened up about being physically and verbally abused by her mother growing up. Although Kayla is an adult now, she has younger siblings still living with their mother, which meant Y/N had to report the abuse.
βWhat has Kayla told you?β asks the woman.
βMaβam,β Y/N begins slowly and calmly, βI canβt disclose that. I understand youβre upsetββ
βYou are tearing our family apart, do you understand?β The woman steps closer, her voice rising with each second. Y/N takes a subtle step back. βDo you have any idea what this is going to do to us? Are you even a real therapist? I heard about what goes on at this clinic. I should be the one reporting you!β She points an accusatory finger at her. βMy daughter is never coming back here.β
Y/Nβs jaw tightens. βYour daughter is an adult. She can decide for herself.β
βNot when Iβm the one paying for her sessions.β
Y/Nβs heart sinks. Kayla never mentioned that her sessions were being funded by her mom. Not that that wouldβve changed anything. Y/N wouldβve had to report the abuse regardless. But it still stings to know that this may prevent Kayla from accessing therapy again.
The woman finally turns on her heel and storms off to her car, slamming the door shut and speeding off.
Y/N unlocks the clinic with trembling hands and steps inside. Tears well in her eyes as she walks to her office. Itβs not the first time something like this has happened in her career, but it never gets easier. She collapses at her desk and takes a few deep breaths to calm her racing heart.
The sound of the front door opening sends her heart into a tailspin again.
βY/N?β Harryβs voice carries down the hallway.
She quickly wipes the tears off her face and walks out to the waiting room.
βMorning,β he says. βI was justβ Whatβs wrong?β His brows furrow in concern, eyes scanning her face.
βNothing.β She shakes her head. βJust a client.β
βYou already had a client? I thought you just opened.β
βNo, umβ¦β She pauses, carefully considering her words. βIt was a clientβs mother. She was waiting for me when I got here and yelled at me for reporting her for child abuse.β
βShit. Thatβs awful. Iβm sorry.β
She shrugs, but her eyes fill with tears again.
Harry appears to move towards her instinctively, then stops himself. βDo you want to talk about it?β
She shakes her head.
He studies her for a moment. βHow can I help? Let me take something off your plate today.β
His offer lifts some of the weight in her chest.
βReally? Donβt you have, like, stuff to do?β
He shrugs. βNothing important.β
βI have back-to-back sessions today, but Iβve been wanting to organize the back room. Thereβs a ton of boxes with documents that need to be shredded.β
βIβm a great shredder.β
She laughs. That weight lifts a bit more.
***
When Harry first reached out to Y/N, he wasnβt expecting it to turn intoβ¦ this. He was prepared to drop a large sum of money directly into her bank account and call it a day. He didnβt think sheβd be so reluctant to accept the offer.
It didnβt seem like pride. She just seemed skeptical at first and then like someone who isnβt used to having things handed to her, which Harry could respect. Still, he was determined to help her, and when he met her in person, that impulse only grew stronger. She was soβ¦ genuine. And tenacious. And inspiring.
After everything she went through in high school, she couldβve turned into a bitter shell of a human being who takes her grievances out on everyone else, and she would be totally justified in doing so. But instead, she turned into someone that spends her days helping people heal from trauma and other mental struggles. How could anyone not be inspired by that?
When he found her crying after getting yelled at by a clientβs mother, it reminded him of the last time he saw her cry, which was in high school. She was hiding under a cold, dark stairwell by herself, sobbing quietly into her knees.
βAre you, umβ¦ Are you okay?β he asked when he found her there.
The sobbing abruptly stopped. She stared up at him wide-eyed, a deer caught in headlights. βYβyeah.β
βYou canβt let them see you cry, you know,β he told her. βItβll just make things worse.β
βI know.β She sniffled. βThatβs why Iβm here.β
That was the day they made the deal. She was vulnerable and desperate. Harry thinks she would have agreed to just about anything. And he used that to his advantage. Maybe if it had been someone else in his place, they wouldβve gone even further, made even bigger requests, but he couldnβt use that to excuse his own behaviour.
Now heβs trying to make things right. Heβs not sure if he believes in karma, but he does believe in taking accountability.
He spent that whole day at the clinic, shredding papers in the back room while Y/N saw clients. He put his headphones in and listened to music to entertain himself. It felt oddly relaxing. And it was nice to see Y/N popping her pretty head in every now and then to check on him.
He kept returning that week to help out, even bringing her coffee some days. She eventually asked him to sign a volunteer contract, explaining the confidentiality rules to him, and to get a background check.
βNot because I think youβre a criminal,β she reassured him. βItβs just protocol.β
He understood. If anything, he found it admirable that she wanted to do things the right way.
He enjoyed being in the clinic. Even if he was only doing menial tasks, like shredding papers, cleaning, and organizing. It felt⦠meaningful.
βI noticed you donβt have a receptionist,β he said to her one day. βIs there a reason for that?β
βWe used to have one. She was pretty flaky. Then she just became another expense to stress over, so I had to let her go.β
βWe?β
βHuh?β
βYou said βweβ used to have one.β
βOh. Did I? Whoops.β She gave a sheepish laugh and walked back to her office.
Except Harry had noticed the other office. The one that remains unused with nothing but a desk and two chairs inside it. It looks like it once belonged to another therapist. But he doesnβt want to pry, so he keeps his questions to himself.
Itβs Friday now and heβs in the back room again, shredding documents, headphones in, humming along to Joni Mitchell. He pauses for a moment to lean back in his chair and stretch. Thatβs when he notices her standing in the doorway, a small grin on her face as she watches him.
βOh, hey.β He removes his headphones.
βI just wanted to let you know I have to close the clinic early because I have plans tonight.β
βWow. And here I thought you were a workaholic.β
She gives him a wry smile. βI am on most days. But I canβt miss this. My best friend Cindy got a promotion, so a few of us are going out to celebrate.β
Good, he thinks to himself. This past week, he has seen her work ten-hour days, which apparently is the norm for her. She deserves a night out.
βActually, would youβ¦β She hesitates, biting her lip. βWould you want to come?β
He doesnβt even have to think about it. βSure. Your friend wonβt mind?β
βNo, I think sheβll be happy to finally meet you.β
βYou told her about me?β
Her eyes widen briefly. βOnly in passing. Sheβs nosy.β
He chuckles. βAlright, Iβm in.β
He offers to drive them to the bar. Her friends are already there when they arrive, sitting at a table in the back. She introduces all of them. Cindy, Poppy, Sara, and Jamal. Harry tries to commit their names to memory.
Cindy is a short brunette with a sharp wit. Y/N was right. She seems thrilled to meet Harry, exchanging sly glances with Y/N in the way that women do sometimes when they seem to be telepathically communicating.
Her other friends seem alright, though a couple of them make comments at Y/N that could pass as innocent on the surface but seem to have snarky undertones. Maybe heβs reading into things too much or doesnβt understand their dynamic quite yet. That can happen when youβre the outsider in a friend group.
Itβs fascinating to see Y/N in a different setting, in non-therapist mode. Sheβs dressed in a fitted white t-shirt with a short black skirt and boots. Her hair is down, her shoulders relaxed. Her hands nurse a margarita. She laughs freely and often, and when Harry realizes itβs the sweetest sound heβs heard in a while, he knows heβs in trouble.
βHarry, how do you and Y/N know each other?β asks Poppy.
βWe went to the same high school.β
βOh! High school sweethearts!β
βWe never dated,β Y/N quickly corrects.
Poppy gapes at her. βWhat?! Let me guess. You were too busy paying attention in class and being a good student,β she says in a patronizing tone. βBoring!β
Harry quirks a brow and glances at Y/N, who just quietly sips her margarita.
βWhat was Y/N like in high school?β asks Sara.
Now she shifts uncomfortably in her seat, brushing her fingers through her hair, avoiding his gaze, like sheβs afraid to hear what he has to say.
βShe was smart. Really smart. She was kind, even to people who didnβt deserve it.β
He keeps things vague. It seems like most of her friends donβt know what she endured in high school.
βWow. You make her sound like a saint.β Poppy laughs. βShe canβt be that perfect. Cβmon, give us some embarrassing stories.β
βPoppy, shut up,β Cindy cuts in, then turns to Harry. βWas Y/N always this hot?β
Y/N nearly chokes on her drink, coughing into her elbow.
Harry smirks. βI thought she was pretty, yeah.β
Pretty felt too simple. He remembers watching her during an exam. He told himself it was just part of their dealβcheating off her meant frequently looking over at her. But then he started getting lost in the details. Like the way her brow would furrow when she reached a difficult question, puckering her soft lips, tapping her pencil against her temple as if the answer was just stuck somewhere in her brain and the pencil would knock it loose. Yeah, pretty was just skimming the surface.
Y/N seems taken aback by his admission. Cindy grins, pleased by his answer.
βHarry, my brother is a huge hockey fan,β says Poppy, tucking her hair behind her ear.
βOh yeah?β
βYou were actually his favourite player until you retired. He would kill me if I donβt at least get a selfie.β
βPoppy,β Y/N says sternly.
βWhat?β
βItβs fine,β says Harry. βI donβt mind.β
Y/N still gives him an apologetic look.
Later that night, he leaves to use the restroom. When he returns, the live band has started their set and most of their group has moved to the dance floor, leaving their drinks behind at the table. Y/N is still there with her friend Jamal, patiently listening to him rant about his toxic ex-boyfriend who keeps calling to fuck with his head.
βJ, you really need to block him,β she shouts over the music.
βYou know I canβt do that!β
She sighs, like theyβve had this conversation fifteen times. Eventually, Jamal tires of ranting and saunters off to the dance floor. Y/N watches her friends dancing with a small, wistful smile on her face, one hand fiddling with her dangly gold earrings.
Harry leans closer and says in her ear, βYou should go dance.β
βI promised to guard everyoneβs stuff,β she replies, gesturing to the unfinished drinks, purses, and other belongings messily strewn across the table.
Harry doesnβt like that sweet Y/N had been relegated to guard duty. βI can guard it.β
She hesitates. βAre you sure?β
βYes. Go dance.β
She gives him a grateful grin and then sheβs off. He watches as she joins her friends on the floor, throwing her hands up in the air and grooving along to the music. Cindy starts grinding on her theatrically, and she returns the favour by giving her friendβs butt a few playful spanks. Harry laughs, thoroughly entertained by their antics.
By the end of the night, Y/N is happily drunk and high on life. So much so that she nearly crosses a busy street without looking on the way back to Harryβs car, but he grabs her by the waist just in time. When they reach his car, he opens the door for her before getting in himself.
βDid you have fun tonight?β she asks as he pulls out of the lot.
βYeah, I did.β
βDid you really? I hope you donβt feel like I just brought you along to take selfies with my friends and guard our stuff while we danced. I swear that wasnβt the plan. I didnβt even know Poppy has a brother who likes hockey? She might have made that up, now that I think about it.β She frowns thoughtfully, her lips set in an adorable pout.
βI didnβt feel that way at all, lovie.β The pet name slips out before he can stop it, and he feels his ears go warm. But she hardly seems to notice. βAnd Poppy is, umβ¦ an interesting character.β Thatβs the most polite descriptor he could think of.
Y/N gets an odd expression on her face when he says that. βWhat do you mean?β
βNothing.β He decides that having this conversation while sheβs drunk is probably not the best idea and drops it.
She falls asleep at some point, and Harry subconsciously drives smoother to avoid waking her up. He glances at her periodically, the image of her sleeping face under the glow of passing streetlights too beautiful to resist.
She stirs awake on her own when they reach her apartment.
βThanks for the ride, Harr bear,β she says. βYouβre the best.β
He chuckles. βYouβre welcome.β
He waits until sheβs inside the building before driving away.
***
Y/N sleeps in the next day. Well, her definition of βsleeping in,β which involves getting up at eight instead of six.
She eats breakfast and gets ready to go to the clinic. She keeps her Saturday afternoons open for clients who canβt meet during the week. Itβs half past noon when she leaves her apartment and gets in her car. Except when she turns her key in the ignitionβ¦ The car doesnβt start. She tries again. And again. Nothing. Not even a click.
Fuck. Thatβs what she gets for ignoring the check engine light for so long.
She has a session at one oβclock. She could take the bus, but it would take her an hour to get there. She would call Cindy, but sheβs out of town for the weekend. She calls Jamal. No answer. She calls Sara. Voicemail. She doesnβt even bother with Poppy. Sighing, she realizes sheβs left with one choice. Harry. She feels bad asking him for yet another favour. Not that she necessarily asked for the other ones. But still.
The clock is ticking. She doesnβt have time to deliberate. She calls Harry and explains her situation. Not surprisingly, he agrees to give her a ride.
βIβm really sorry about this,β she says as she gets into his car a few minutes later. βNo one else was available.β
βNo, no, Iβm glad you called,β he says with a smile.
βReally? I thought youβd be sick of me after we basically spent all of yesterday together.β
βPlease. I could never be sick of you.β He says it like itβs a given, like thereβs nothing heβd rather do than spend time with her.
When they reach the clinic, he asks what time she gets off work that day.
βAt six,β she answers. βBut I can take the bus home, itβs fine.β
He gives her a disapproving look. βYouβre not taking the bus. Text me when youβre done, okay?β
βOkay.β
Sheβs smiling as she walks into the clinic, her dead car forgotten and filed away in the back of her mind. Her good mood doesnβt last very long though. Her sessions are tough that day. One client recently got back together with her abusive ex-boyfriend, seemingly undoing all the work theyβve done in therapy. Another client lost a loved one to a long battle with cancer. And finally, her last client lays into her for not immediately fixing all her problems, even though theyβve only had three sessions so far and she has refused to do any of the homework Y/N assigns.
By the end of the day, she is utterly exhausted.
While she waits for Harry, she decides to check her banking app. Another loan payment was automatically withdrawn today. Her balance is hovering close to zero yet again. Sheβs been paying off this loan for three years. Three years, and it feels like sheβs barely made a dent. She groans, feeling twice as drained as before.
Harry must see it on her face when he pulls up in his car because he says, βRough day?β
βYeah,β she sighs, settling into the passenger seat. Then she pauses, pokes her nose in the air like a dog and sniffs. βWere you eating in here?β
He turns to look in the backseat. She follows his gaze to find multiple takeout bags sitting there.
βI got Thai food,β he says. βI was going to invite you over for dinner, but if youβre too tired, Iββ
βI love Thai!β She looks at him with wide-eyed excitement.
βI know. You bring it for lunch all the time.β
Y/N could cry. She could actually physically burst into tears right now. He noticed what she was bringing for lunch? And went out of his way to get it for her and was planning to invite her over for dinner?
βIβd love to join you for dinner,β she says instead of crying.
***
Y/N has never felt more comfortable, snuggled under a fluffy blanket on Harryβs big couch, legs curled under her, belly full of Thai food. Harry goes to the kitchen to put away their dishes and trash. When he returns to find her wrapped up like a burrito on the couch, he seems quite pleased, as though his mission has been accomplished.
βI have a confession,β she says as he sits down next to her.
βIβm listening.β
βI googled you.β
He lets out a laugh. βTo be fair, I googled you first. Thatβs how I got your clinic number.β
βOh. Yeah.β She frowns, realizing itβs not as wild of a confession as she initially thought. βBut I mean, I watched you play. Youβre really good on the ice. Like, scary good. Do you ever miss it?β
He thinks for a moment. βSometimesβ¦ Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and I think I have a game the next day. And then I remember Iβm retired. And thereβs this mix of relief andβ¦β
βGrief?β
He meets her eyes. βYeah. Not just missing the game, but, like, the structure that came with it? The schedules, the teammates, the expectations. It was all so predictable. And then suddenly, I was justβ¦ a guy with a lot of money and no idea what to do with himself.β
βHow did you deal with that?β
βWell, at first, with a lot of alcohol.β He laughs sheepishly. βThat wasnβt quite working, so I started talking to people. Other retired athletes. That helped. And I started putting my time and money into things that matter to me.β
βIs that how your foundation came about?β
He raises his brows. βYou really did your research.β
She shrugs, a small proud smile tugging at her lips.
βI actually started the foundation while I was still playing. I lost a teammate to suicide, and I wanted to contribute to mental health initiatives, so thatβs how it started. Then after I retired and struggled with that transition, I wanted to help other retired athletes.β
She watches him closely as he speaks, the way he gestures with his hands, the grief in his eyes when he mentions his teammate, the determination when he explains wanting to help others like himself. The warm feeling in her chest expands and spreads through the rest of her body.
βYouβre a really good guy, Harry.β
He smiles, then looks away briefly, like heβs contemplating his next words. He opens his mouth, then closes it.
βWhat?β
βI have a confession too,β he finally says.
Her stomach flips.
βIn our last year of high schoolβ¦ I was going to ask you out.β
She blinks at him, hardly processing the words at first. βYou were?β
He nods.
Itβs suddenly too hot under her blanket, so she pulls it halfway down her body. βWhy didnβt you?β
He thinks about it.
βWere you scared of what people would think? Itβs okay if you were,β she says softly, though her heart sinks at the thought.
βNo, I was scared of what you would think. I thought you were too smart to go out with a dumb jock like me.β
She frowns. βThatβs not true.β
He tilts his head. βNo?β
βNo.β
They gaze at each other for a long moment. She realizes how close they are on this couch and how warm her face is and how heβs directly staring at her lips now. He shifts closer and closer. Her breath catches in her throat.
And then he kisses her. A soft, lingering kiss at first. Then another. And another. Itβs only once she has fully melted into goo that he properly kisses her, hands cupping her face and angling it towards him so he can slip his tongue in easily. He tastes like the guava candy they found at the bottom of their takeout bagsβsweet and tangy.
She brings her hand to his chest, gripping the front of his shirt in her fist. Sheβs breathless when he pulls away. He huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head like heβs in disbelief.
βWhat?β she asks.
βYou have no idea how many times I imagined doing that back in high school.β
And she stops breathing again. She really had no idea. Not a clue how he felt about her. Of course not. She was too busy trying to survive.
His thumb traces her bottom lip. Then he gently pushes her onto her back and props himself up on one elbow next to her, a hand resting on her lower abdomen, which twitches and clenches under his touch. Leaning down, he hovers just inches from her mouth. She tries to kiss him, but he pulls back. She tries again and he does the same thing, smirking. The teasing bastard. Finally, she grabs his face and plants a firm kiss to his lips.
His hand shifts from her abdomen to her waistband. Sheβs still in her work clothes. Undoing the top button of her pants, he slips a hand inside, fingers grazing over the wet spot that has formed over her panties. He nips gently at her bottom lip before pulling away and shifting down the couch. His fingers hook into her waistband.
βCan I?β he asks, looking up at her.
She nods, acting like her entire body isnβt vibrating with anticipation.
Soon, her bottom half is exposed. He wastes no time in spreading her legs apart and bringing his mouth to her clit. The sudden contact makes her flinch away.
βToo much?β he asks.
βJust sensitive. Sorry.β
He hushes away her apology, then takes his time sprinkling kisses all over her inner thighs. He pulls her legs up over his shoulders, hands firmly gripping her sides when he licks her clit again, more gently this time.
βTastes so good, Y/N. So sweet,β he murmurs against her clit.
She grins to herself, letting her head drop back as he slips his tongue directly into her wet hole. Her hands grasp at the blanket beneath her at first and then the back of his head. No part of her was expecting tonight to go like this. He laps at her pussy like some sort of starved animal until the orgasm rips through her, making her toes and fingers curl.
βFuck, Harry, oh my God,β she stammers out as she comes.
He licks her clean with his tongue, being careful not to overstimulate her. Then he stands up and her gaze lands on the clear outline of his bulge pressing against his sweatpants. When he begins undressing, she starts to move towards him.
βWait,β he says. βStay where you are.β
She obeys, sinking back into the couch, her eyes never leaving him. She knew he was fitβformer athlete and all thatβbut seeing the proof before her eyes is something else. The broad shoulders, the thick pectorals, the insane biceps and quads, but also the slight pudge that has formed around his middle and sidesβshe admires all of it.
He leaves the room for a moment and returns with a condom, rolling it on before sitting down on the couch.
βCome here,β he says, patting his thighs.
Entranced, she crawls over to him. He pulls her into his lap so that sheβs straddling him. Between them, his cock is swollen thick, the veins visible through the flushed skin, pulsing and throbbing in a way that makes her salivate.
βPut it inside you,β he says.
She doesnβt hesitate. Her hands grasp his cock. She already knows how full and thick and tight heβs going to feel inside her. She lines his tip with her entrance and presses down slowly, taking him inch by inch, moaning at the overwhelming sensation of his length filling her up.
He hisses, closing his eyes for a moment. βFucking hell, Y/N.β
Once her pussy swallows him whole, he grabs her hips and holds them there. His gaze scans over her face, eyes swimming with lust.
βJesus. Youβre so beautiful.β
He unbuttons her blouse, pulling it off of her, then unclasps her bra. His large hands cup her exposed breasts, fingers tweaking the hardened nipples, making her gasp.
Then with a hand wrapped around her throat, he pulls her in for a brief kiss and says, βRide me, pretty girl.β
And she does. Her hips start bouncing on his cock. He grabs her ass with his other hand, kneading the thick flesh, as she rides him faster and faster.
βThatβs it, baby,β he grunts. βGood girl. Donβt stop.β
He thrusts up into her, meeting her halfway. His hand remains around her throat, squeezing lightly at the sides. She wraps her hands around his forearm, keeping it there.
βHarryβ¦β she moans, unable to form any other word with her mouth right now.
βFeels good, yeah? Are you going to come on my cock?β
She nods, swallowing thickly, feeling the pressure of his palm around her throat.
βYeah, you are. Give it to me, Y/N.β
She comes hard, clenching around him intensely and repeatedly. He coaxes the orgasm out of her before following it up with his own, his cock throbbing against her walls and filling the condom with each spurt.
She lets herself collapse on him, burying her face in his neck, his cock still inside her. He wraps his arms around her and keeps her close until sheβs ready to get up. Then he carries her up to his bathroom so they can get cleaned up.
As they lie in bed that night, she reflects on what a turn of events today has been. From her car breaking down to Harry confessing he had feelings for her in high school to them having sex? Her teenage self couldβve never foreseen this. She almost chuckles to herself as she falls asleep.
***
When Y/N awakens the next morning, it takes her a few moments to remember where she is and why she suddenly has curtains on her window that werenβt there before. She rubs her eyes and looks beside her to find Harry lying on his side, his soft gaze trained on her. He wraps an arm around her waist and slides her closer with no effort at all. He kisses her forehead and the tip of her nose.
She laughs softly. βMorning.β
βMorning.β
βWhat time is it?β
βNine-ish. Please tell me you have the day off.β
βI do.β She never sees clients on Sundays. Thank goodness.
βGood.β
Then she remembers. Her car. A dreadful groan escapes her.
βWhat?β
βI still have to deal with my car.β
βAre you going to take it to the mechanic?β
She shakes her head. βItβs been giving me trouble for a while. Too many repairs this past year. I fear itβs time to let her go.β
He gives her a sympathetic look. βIβm sorry.β
She stretches her arms overhead. Harry pushes up on one elbow, his green eyes deep in a thousand-yard stare. She can almost see the wheels turning in his head.
βSo, hypothetically, if you were to get a new car, what kind would it be?β he finally asks.
She narrows her eyes at him.
βWhat? Itβs a hypothetical. Humour me, will you?β
βI donβt even know. Iβve had this one since I was in college. I never imagined replacing it.β She thinks about it. βMaybe I should go look at some cars.β
His eyes light up. βWeβre going car shopping?β
βWeβre going to look at cars,β she corrects.
βRight. Looking. Very serious, non-car-buying looking.β
She rolls her eyes.
***
As soon as they enter the dealership, car salesmen start circling them like sharks. Harry handles them smoothly, telling them to fuck off in the most polite way possible (βweβre just looking, thanksβ).
He lets her take the lead on where to go first, so she heads over to the row of sensibly priced sedans, though theyβre still far out of her price range. She sits inside one of them. Harry joins her in the passenger seat.
βI like this one,β she says, hands smoothing over the steering wheel.
βItβs veryβ¦ practical,β he says, looking over his shoulder at the backseat, clearly unimpressed.
βThatβs the point.β
βBut it lacks personality, donβt you think?β
She glares at him. βHarry, itβs a car. It just needs to get me places.β
He throws his hands up in mock surrender. βOkay, okay. But letβs just look at some more. For fun.β
She sighs and agrees. Why is she not surprised that heβs a car guy?
He takes her over to some of the more high-end models. Y/Nβs eyes rake over the glossy exteriors of the cars, the obscene price tags making her chest cave. Harry excitedly points out some cool features he notices. When one of the salesmen walks over, he doesnβt turn them away this time. Instead, he lets the guy tell them about the car theyβre looking at.
Y/N feels strange all of a sudden. Like the world around her is fading into the distance, the salesmanβs voice turning into muffled background noise. Her heart feels like itβs in her throat. Sheβs vaguely aware of Harry glancing at her, his hand finding her elbow.
βAre you okay?β his voice breaks through the fog.
She shrugs him off and heads for the exit. Except she doesnβt know where it is. Where the hell did they enter from? Why is this place so fucking big? Why are there no exit signs?
βY/N!β Harry catches up to her and grabs her hand. βHey, stop. Whatβs wrong?β
βI canβt do this.β She shakes her head, not meeting his eyes.
βDo what?β
βAct like this is normal. Someone buying me a car? And donβt say βweβre just looking.β I know youβre seriously thinking of getting me one. And I know itβs not a big deal to you, but it is to me, okay?β
βOkay, Iββ
βAnd itβs not that Iβm ungrateful.β
βI never said you wereββ
βIβm grateful for everything youβve done for me so far. But thisββshe gestures at the showroom around themββis too much. I canβt keep taking from you like this. Thatβs notβ Thatβs not who I am.β Her voice quivers. She swallows hard, pushing down the emotion. βCan we go?β
***
Harry keeps glancing over at Y/N on the way home, wondering if sheβs okay. She appears calmer than she did at the dealership, her gaze focused out the passenger side window, but she looks so defeated, it makes his chest ache.
Did he push her too hard to accept his money? He just wants to help her. Thatβs been his goal this entire time. He thought that buying her smaller things for the clinic might warm her up to bigger purchases, but maybe he was wrong. The last thing he wanted to do was stress her out even more, and now he feels like thatβs exactly what heβs done.
Itβs late in the afternoon when they get back to his house. Y/N is quiet for the rest of the day. She takes a nap on the couch, while he gets some chores done. When she wakes up, they put on some trashy reality TV and eat dinner. Thatβs when she starts to seem more like herself, roasting the guys on the show for their mediocre attempts at impressing the women.
She pauses the show after a couple episodes. He looks at her.
βI need to tell you something,β she says, fidgeting with the remote in her hands.
He nods encouragingly.
βThe clinic was previously co-owned by someone else... My ex-husband, Mark. We met in grad school and came up with the idea of opening a practice together. The first couple years were great.β She pauses, a haunted look creeping into her eyes. βAnd then the complaints started coming in.β
βWhat kind of complaints?β
βMark was flirting with clients. Bringing wine into sessions. Kissing them. Sleeping with them. The list goes on.β
βJesus Christ,β Harry mutters.
βI know. I had no idea. I know that sounds dumb. Our offices were literally across the hall from each other. How could I not have known? But he hid it so well.β
βI believe you.β
She looks at him. He sees the relief there, like sheβs been bracing herself in case he didnβt.
βI filed for divorce after that,β she continues. βSeveral clients sued. He lost his license. And thenβ¦ He vanished.β
βVanished how?β
βHis office had been emptied out overnight. He texted me that he was sorry, that he needed a fresh start. And then he blocked me.β
βHardly an apology.β
βYeah.β She scoffs. βAnyway, I was left with the debt. We took out a loan to start the clinic. It was in both our names. When he left, I had to pay it off. And the settlement from the lawsuits. The clinic was liable. I had to pay that too.β
βThatβs not fair.β
βI donβt know. Maybe itβs my punishment for being so fucking oblivious.β She shakes her head at herself. βI didnβt see what he was doing to those clients. God, Iβm a therapist. I shouldβve seen it. Thatβs my entire job.β
βYou canβt blame yourself for that.β
She shrugs, staring down at her hands. Sheβs shaking.
βHow much?β he asks softly.
She closes her eyes. He can tell sheβs debating whether to answer the question honestly.
βThe loan is about 40k. The settlement was way more. Like 80k. Iβve been paying it off for three years. Iβm down to about 60k.β
The numbers donβt shock him. He doesnβt even flinch. But the fact that sheβs been carrying this burdenβlargely the consequences of someone elseβs recklessnessβall on her own shoulders makes him irate. His jaw tightens. He imagines bashing Markβs head in, then running him over with a bus. Repeatedly.
But beneath the anger is something else. Guilt. The same guilt that drove him to contact her in the first place. Didnβt he once exploit her vulnerability too? Perhaps not in the same way as Mark. But still. Is he really that much better than this guy he wants to rip to shreds?
βIβve been paying it off bit by bit,β she says. βBut Iβm barely staying afloat. Itβs a constant reminder of the biggest mistake of my life, and I canβt take it anymore.β She finally breaks, the tears pooling in her eyes. βI thought I could do it on my own, butβ¦ I need help, Harry. And I hate the way I feel when I say that. I donβt know if itβs pride or whatββ
βItβs not pride,β he interjects gently. βYouβre just so used to fighting and enduring and working your ass off for every little thing. Thatβs all youβve ever known, lovie.β
She puts her face in hands, body trembling with quiet sobs.
βCome here.β He moves closer and wraps his arms around her. βItβs okay. You donβt have to do it alone anymore.β
Harry hardly sleeps that night. He lies in bed, staring at the ceiling, while Y/N is sound asleep next to him. He keeps replaying what she told him about her ex-husband and the debt. The way she took responsibility for someone elseβs actions and called it her punishment made him sick.
He doesnβt want her to go through something like that ever again. Not just the financial hardship. But also the betrayal by someone she deeply trusted, someone who was supposed to love and protect her. He canβt let that happen again. He wonβt.
***
The next day, Y/N and Harry have an honest conversation about how this is going to work. She agrees to let him pay off her debt in full. She also agrees to let him buy her a new car⦠on one condition.
βI get to choose the car,β she says. βNo luxury models. Just a normal, sensible car.β
βBut a Lamborghini would look so sexy on you,β he whines.
βHarry.β She gives him a stern look.
βIβm kidding. Mostly.β He smirks. βOkay, no luxury cars.β
βThank you.β
βNo, thank you for letting me do this. I know itβs not easy for you.β
For the next few weeks, she feels lighter than air. She hasnβt felt like that in years. At least not since before the debt. Sheβs sleeping better. Opening her bank account doesnβt make her stomach turn. At the clinic, sheβs more present with her clients.
To make things even better, sheβs been spending most nights at Harryβs place. Theyβve fallen into a routine of having dinner together, sleeping together, waking up together, moments of intimacy sprinkled into every interaction.
One morning, she wakes first and heads to the kitchen to make breakfast while catching up on her friendsβ group chat, which was popping off last night, but she was too busy having fun with Harry to read the messages.
Poppy: Mandatory drinks tomorrow night!!
Everyone except Y/N and Cindy liked the message.
Cindy: iβm out of town for a work trip again sorry babes
Jamal: Y/N pls say youβre coming. We need your therapist superpowers
Sara: Yeahhhh I need help dealing with my narcissist boss
Jamal: And my narcissist ex!!! :(
Y/N leaves her phone on the counter with the group chat open, as she finishes preparing breakfast. Itβs been a while since she has seen her friends. She briefly considers the consequences of not going. Poppy wouldnβt be too happy. Not because she adores Y/N. She just hates when someone cancels on her plans and acts a bit cold to them the next time they see her. When Poppy plans something, everyone is expected to be in attendance.
Harry enters the kitchen and immediately walks up behind her, hugging her waist and kissing her cheek. She grins and turns her head to kiss him back. Then he moves over to pour himself a cup of coffee. She notices him glancing at her phone on the counter.
βTherapist superpowers?β He looks at her with a cocked brow. βArenβt you supposed to be off the clock when youβre with friends?β
She shrugs. βIβm the therapist in the group. They come to me for advice.β
He takes a sip of his coffee and walks over to the fridge, out of sight.
βAre you going?β he asks.
βYeah, probably. Do you want to come?β
βI have some foundation stuff to take care of.β He pauses. βIs Cindy going?β
βNo, she has a work thing.β
βIs it even going to be fun without your best friend there?β
Her brows furrow slightly at the odd question. βYeah, why not? I love Cindy, but I donβt need her there to have fun.β
He doesnβt say anything.
She turns around now to face him. βWhy do I feel like youβre trying to convince me not to go?β
He shuts the fridge, laughing softly. βMaybe because I am?β
βBut why? You wonβt even be home tonight.β
βItβs not about that.β
She stares at him expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate.
βI just got a weird vibe from your friends last time,β he says. βEspecially Poppy. She called you boring to your face.β
βThatβs just how she is. Sheβs insecure and annoying. Sheβs also fun and hilarious sometimes.β
βBut even the othersβ¦ They treat you like a free therapist to help solve their problems. Doesnβt that bother you?β
She laughs. βHarry, theyβre joking around. Itβs banter between friends. Thatβs all.β
He gazes at her quietly, like heβs holding back from saying more.
βOkay,β he finally says. βMaybe I misread things.β
She gives him a gentle smile now. βThanks for looking out for me. But everythingβs fine. Really.β
He smiles back, but the skepticism is still there, just below the surface.
***
βIβm glad he ended things, butβ¦ I donβt know.β
βIβm sensing some ambivalence there.β
βI just feel like everyone leaves me eventuallyββ
A loud bang outside the office makes both Y/N and her client jump. The clientβs eyes dart towards the door.
βIβm so sorry. Iβll be right back,β says Y/N.
She hurries out of the office and finds the light in the restroom is on. Inside is a large man lying on the ground beneath the sink with a wrench in hand.
βUm, hi, excuse me?β she says, taking a tentative step towards the stranger.
He looks at her. βHi! Harry said you had a leak in the bathroom?β
A leak in theβ She never told him that. He mustβve caught it himself.
βGood news!β the man continues, beaming like he just won the lottery. βIt was just a loose compression nut. Took two minutes.β He scoots out from under the sink and stands up. βYou have a good day now.β
βWait, donβt you need payment?β
βHarry said heβll handle it.β He leaves.
She stands there for a moment, somewhat flustered. She appreciates that Harry had taken care of something that otherwise wouldβve been a nuisance for her. She just wishes he wouldβve given her a heads up to make sure the plumber wouldnβt interrupt one of her sessions. She returns to her office and tries to resume where they left off, though the client seems a bit guarded after that.
Her last session runs late, so sheβs the last of her friends to show up at the bar that evening. She parks by the front and joins them inside. Poppy immediately brings attention to her lateness.
βY/N! We were worried you got lost.β
βSorry, things ran late at the clinic.β
βHow are things at the clinic? Any psycho client stories?β
Y/N gives a nervous laugh. βYou know I canβt talk about clients.β
Poppy pouts. βWell, thatβs no fun.β
She called you boring to your face. Harryβs words from that morning ring through her mind.
βIs that a new car?β asks Jamal, pointing out the window at her car.
She suddenly regrets parking so close.
βOh, um, yeah.β She starts perusing the drinks menu.
βWait,β says Sara. βDidnβt you say a few weeks ago that you canβt afford a new one?β
Before she can respond, Poppy says, βHarry got it for her.β
Y/N is taken aback by the confidence in her voice. βWhβ How did you know that?β
Poppy smirks. βI didnβt. But I do now.β
Y/N shifts uncomfortably in her seat.
βI knew you looked different,β she says, giving her a once-over. βSo, what? Heβs your sugar daddy now?β
Y/N laughs. βWeβre the same age.β
βDoesnβt matter. Heβs buying you a car? Did he get that dress too?β
She doesnβt respond. Because the answer is yes. She and Harry went shopping last weekend. She saw a dress she liked with a ridiculous price tag. He pleaded with her to at least try it on, which she did. She fell in love with it. And well, there he was, ready with his credit card.
βHey, Iβm not judging,β says Poppy, leaning towards her. βIf I knew a guy like that, Iβd be milking him for his money too.β
Y/N frowns. βThatβs not what Iβm doing.β
Poppy just smirks again. Y/N tries not to roll her eyes. The conversation moves on to Saraβs narcissistic boss, but she canβt stop thinking about how Poppyβs last comment got under her skin. Sheβs not milking Harry for his money. But she can see how it may appear that way to an outsider. And now sheβs insecure about it. Great.
The comment keeps nagging at her for the rest of the night and into the next day. She knows she shouldnβt bring it up to Harry. She knows.
And yet, that evening, while theyβre cuddling on the couch watching some corny romcom that she canβt pay attention to, she blurts out, βDo you ever feel like Iβm using you for your money?β
Heβs quiet at first, then pauses the movie and shifts on the couch so he can see her face. βWhy would I think that, lovie? I practically had to beg you to accept my money.β
She instantly feels reassured by his answer. But now she has to deal with the concern on his face.
βIt was just something in the back of my mind I had to clear up,β she explains, reaching for the remote to resume the movie, but he doesnβt let her.
βIt was in the back of your mind or did someone else put it there?β
She frowns. βWhatβs that supposed to mean?β
βIt was Poppy, wasnβt it? Or one of the others?β
She sighs and rubs a hand over her face. βLook, Iβm sorry I brought it up, okay? Letβs just drop it.β
βNo, Y/N.β He sits up, making her do the same. βI donβt like that your friends say shit like that. It clearly bothers you too or you wouldnβt have brought it up.β
βWhat do you want me to do, Harry? Stop hanging out with them?β
βYes.β His jaw tightens.
She scoffs and leans away from him, genuinely shocked by his response. βWell, thatβs... kind of controlling.β
He blinks, equally as shocked by her choice of words. βControlling? Howβs that controlling?β
βYou want me to stop hanging out with my friends because you donβt like them? Do you hear yourself?β
βIβm not trying to control you. Iβm trying to protect you.β
βWeβre not in high school anymore, Harry. I donβt need you to protect me from people. I can do that myself.β
βCan you?β
She narrows her eyes. βExcuse me?β
He sighs. βY/N, you constantly let people take advantage of your kindness. Your friends, your clients, your ex? Canβt you see? Itβs all the same fucking pattern. I hate it because I love you, and I know you deserve better than that. So, no, Iβm not being controlling when I say you have shitty friends.β
She doesnβt say anything. His words settle like a pit in her stomach. Harsh, acidic, and, worst of all, true. Softened only by the confession of love casually thrown in there.
Her job is about recognizing patterns in peopleβs behaviours. Patterns that they repeat from childhood, from past relationships and friendships, from past mistakes. Has she seriously failed to recognize them in her own life?
Harry stands up, visibly frustrated and tired. βIβm going to bed.β
He leaves her on the couch and heads upstairs. She stays there for a while, stewing in her own mix of anger and hurt. When she finally goes up, heβs on his side of the bed with his back to her. She gets in on her side and tries to sleep, neither of them saying a word.
***
The next day, Y/N is up and out of the house before Harryβs even awake. At the clinic, she buries herself in her work, though her mind is still processing the argument from last night. A client cancels last minute without good reason, and she once again waives the late cancellation fee becauseβ¦ Well, she canβt help it. Maybe Harry was right. She does let people walk all over her.
Still, she doesnβt appreciate the way he said it. Implying that she canβt take care of herself. That she canβt think for herself. That she needs someone else to step in and tell her what to do. Sheβs not that incapable of looking out for herself. Right?
At lunchtime, she stares at her phone, wanting to text him but not knowing what to say. When her screen lights up, her heart flutters, expecting it to be him. But instead, itβs Jamal. Shoving her disappointment deep inside, she picks up the call and listens to her friend vent about his ex for the hundredth time. Ten minutes into his monologue, she finally works up the nerve to lie and tell him she has a client waiting to see her. He takes up five more minutes of her time before hanging up.
Y/N shakes her head at herself, pinching the bridge of her nose. Before her fight with Harry, she might not have thought much of these interactions. Now, itβs impossible to ignore the way she fails to set boundaries with people.
Then she hears someone out in the waiting room. She goes out there to find a delivery person setting down a bouquet of wildflowers on the front desk.
βHi there! Delivery for a Y/N Y/L/N?β
βThatβs me.β
She walks over to the flowers after the delivery guy leaves, feeling the delicate texture of the petals between her fingers. A small note is nestled among them.
Iβm sorry. β H
She sighs, staring at the two words, hating the way her heart liquefies in her chest, hating the way she wants to call him up right now and tell him all is forgiven, and especially hating the way she craves his presence. A craving felt deep in her abdomen, raw and tantalizing.
She recalls what he said to her last night. Not the criticism of her friends or her tendency to let people take advantage of her. But how he said he loved her. The way it naturally slipped out in the midst of his rant, like the words had been sitting on the tip of his tongue for far too long.
Y/N: The flowers are pretty
She texts him once the flowers are in a vase and sheβs sitting in her office.
H: Glad you liked them
H: I really am sorry. I hope you donβt really think I was trying to control you
βI donβtβ is what she types at first but then deletes it.
Y/N: I know that wasnβt your intention
He doesnβt reply for a while after that. He texts again as her workday nears a close.
H: Can I take you out to dinner tonight?
Y/N: Yes
***
Y/Nβs texts have seemed distant today. Harry knows trying to decipher tone over text is not wise, but he canβt help it after their argument last night. He hoped that the flowers would show heβs thinking of her and heβs sorry. Not for recognizing that her friends treat her poorly or that she deserves better, but for conveying it in a way that came off as controlling.
He hates the idea of Y/N thinking that he wants to control her life. Sure, every time he sees her, heβs consumed with the primal urge to wrap her in his arms and shelter her from everything horrible in the world, and it takes everything to rein in that part of himself, but he would never want to make her feel like sheβs not a person that can make her own decisions.
When she comes over that evening to go on their date together, he expects her to be just as distant as her messages. But she greets him at the door with a firm smooch on the lips, arms wrapped around his neck. He grins and takes in her appearance. An olive-coloured satin dress with a lace trim around the low neckline and a fuzzy brown jacket over it. Cute gold butterfly earrings. Her hair swept back in a low bun. She looks like a tiny fairy that flew over and put a little spell on him to make him weak in the knees.
βYou look stunning.β He kisses her cheek, then adds with a sheepish laugh, βI realized this is my first time taking you out on a proper date. Iβm not sure why itβs taken this long.β
He knows why itβs taken this long. Because he enjoys having her to himself when theyβre at home, where he can cuddle and kiss and touch her however he likes and not worry about odd looks from anyone while he sniffs her hair when sheβs not looking.
She smiles. βItβs okay. I like spending nights in with youβ¦β Her gaze travels down his body, taking in his appearance now. A dark button-up, sleeves rolled to his forearms, and tailored trousers. His curls are more tamed than usual but not too perfect. βBut itβs also nice seeing you like this.β
A smirk tugs at his lips. βYeah?β
She nods, her eyes flicking down to his mouth, then back up. And heβs a goner.
He takes her face in his hands and kisses her hard, tongue finding hers with ease. She leans back against the door, her hand on the back of his head keeping him close. He reaches down to find the slit in her dress that exposes her thigh. His fingers trail up to her underwear.
She hums against his lips and pulls away briefly. βWeβre going to be late.β
βThatβs fine.β He bites her bottom lip. A soft whimper escapes her.
Dropping down to the floor, he hooks his fingers into her panties and pulls them down her legs. She steps out of them, her heels still on her feet. He adjusts the dress so it bunches up around her waist and tells her to hold it there. Then he lifts her right leg over his shoulder to give himself better access. And then he notices the arousal leaking out of her, the dampness along her inner thigh.
βWhatβs this?β He looks up, smirking when he finds her blushing.
βI was thinking about you on my way here,β she confesses, a little breathlessly.
βThinking what about me?β
βJustβ¦ Your eyes. Your hands. Your mouthβ¦β She swallows. βYour cock.β
The swelling in his pants intensifies. He digs his fingers into the thigh resting on his shoulder while his tongue nudges her hole. He licks a single line from her entrance to her clit. Heβs not sure how itβs possible, but every time he tastes her, it feels like the first time and it makes him want to devour her even more. His tongue moves ardently between her folds. She nestles her fingers in his hair, grinding her hips against his mouth.
βHarry, that feels so good. Please donβt stop.β
Her moans get louder, thighs tensing around him as the orgasm sweeps through her. He licks her clean with his tongue, not missing a spot. Then he helps get her panties back on and rises to his feet. She looks unbelievably cute with her flushed cheeks and dazed eyes.
βNow we can go,β he says.
***
Harryβs hands keep finding her that night. A hand on her thigh as he drives them to the restaurant. On the small of her back as they enter. Caressing her arm as they peruse the menu together.
After ordering, he asks about her day and listens to her vent about a frustrating call she had with a clientβs insurance company. Their food arrives fairly quickly. Heβs about to dig in when he notices Y/N eyeing her plate oddly. Then he realizes.
βYou asked for no mushrooms,β he states, noticing the mushrooms sprinkled all over her plate.
βItβs fine.β She waves a dismissive hand.
βYou should tell them.β
βItβs no big deal.β
He glances around and makes eye contact with their server, waving her over.
Y/N gives him a look. βHarryβ¦β
The server approaches their table.
βHi, I think thereβs been a mistake,β he says. βShe asked for no mushrooms.β
The serverβs brows shoot up. βOh! Iβm so sorry. Weβll get that fixed up right away.β
Harry gives her a polite smile. βThank you.β
The server walks away with the plate.
Y/N glares at him.
βWhat?β
βI said it wasnβt a big deal,β she says in a hushed but firm tone.
His brows furrow. βWell, it is to me.β
She sighs and looks away, crossing her arms over her chest.
βY/Nββ
βIβm going to use the restroom.β She starts to scoot to the end of booth.
βYouβre upset.β
βIβm not. I need to pee,β she says flatly without looking at him.
He stares down at his food after she leaves, pondering her reaction to what he thought was a kind thing to do. They brought her the wrong order; he spoke up because she didnβt want to. What was so bad about that? He thinks back to their fight last night.
Controlling.
Does she think he was being controlling again? He just wanted to make sure she gets what she asked for. She did say it wasnβt a big deal, but he thought she only said that to avoid being an inconvenience. Maybe he was too quick to assume she wanted him to speak up for her. Maybe she felt embarrassed. Maybe he shouldβve asked firstβ¦
She returns a few minutes later. Her food has arrived by then too, without mushrooms this time. They eat in silence for a bit. Then she asks about his day. He tells her about the meetings he had with some of his foundationβs donors and the cute puppy he met on his run that morning, pulling up a picture on his phone. She coos at the happy little Corgi in the photo.
The rest of their night proceeds normally. They finish their food and share some cheesecake for dessert. He pays the bill. They head home.
When they reach his bedroom, he sits on the edge of the bed and begins unbuttoning his shirt, preparing to sleep. Y/N slips off her dress, leaving her in just her panties, then walks over to stand between his legs. She takes his face in her hands. His fingers freeze on the second last button of his shirt. He meets her gaze with curiosity.
βYou said something last night,β she says.
He immediately knows what sheβs referring to. He was worried after he said it. Worried that he chose the worst possible timeβthe middle of an argumentβto say the three most important words. But they slipped out before he could even assess the context in which he was saying them. Maybe thatβs what happens when you love someone as much as he loves Y/Nβit eventually overflows through every crack and crevice.
βDid you mean it?β she asks, studying his face.
βOf course.β
βI love you too.β She plants a tender kiss to his lips.
His hands rest on her forearms, caressing her wrists with his thumbs. Then he shifts one hand to her hip, thumb tracing the lace on her panties. Heβs already thinking about burying his face between her legs again, getting lost in the sweet scent and heavenly taste, but before he can do anything, she sinks down to her knees on the floor.
He watches as she finishes undoing the last two buttons on his shirt, letting it fall open. Then she unzips his pants and releases his hardening cock from its confines. He leans back against his hands on the bed, inhaling a shaky breath as she wraps one hand around the base and her lips around the tip. Her gorgeous eyes blink up at him as she takes more of him into her mouth, tongue stroking the underside of his cock deliciously. She bobs her head along his length, stroking whateverβs left of him with her hand.
βLook so pretty like that,β he says. βTaking my cock on your knees. Just the filthiest sight.β
She closes her eyes and moans around him.
βTouch yourself,β he tells her. βBut donβt come.β
Her free hand disappears between her legs, fingers rubbing her clit while she continues sucking him.
βGood girl. So good for me.β
He places a hand on the back of her head, applying some pressure, guiding her mouth along his cock. His tip makes contact with the back of her throat with every other thrust, which alone might drive him to madness. Her moans send the most gratifying vibrations down his length.
He pulls out before he can come and takes a second to enjoy the sight of her. The drool and pre-cum coating her chin. Eyes gazing up at him as if he hung the moon in the sky just for her.
βGet up here, sweet girl.β
As she stands, he positions her face down across his lap. He pulls off her panties and spreads apart her legs. He can see the arousal glistening between her thighs before feeling it with his fingers. She makes a sound when his hand makes contact with her clit, burying her face into her forearm.
βGot yourself nice and wet for me,β he says with approval, inserting a finger into her slick hole.
She squirms in his lap, pushing back against his hand. He removes his finger and lands a sharp spank on her bum, making her squeal.
βStay still,β he warns.
She whines in protest but obeys, keeping her hips in place as he inserts two fingers this time, nudging them in and out at an agonizingly slow pace.
βHarry, please,β she groans, her toes curling.
βPlease?β
βI need more!β
He smiles. βGetting greedy, are we?β
βNot greedy. Justβ¦β
βNeedy?β
She nods.
βYeah? Are you my needy little slut, Y/N?β
She nods again, moaning. He relishes the filthy sounds her soaking pussy makes each time he thrusts his fingers inside and the way she struggles to keep herself still but tries anyway. Then he retracts his fingers and takes his time licking her juices off of them, savouring the taste.
βStand up and bend over the bed,β he says.
As she gets into position, he moves to stand behind her, somehow still in his unbuttoned shirt and trousers. He runs a hand down her spine and over her ass, spanking her once before pressing his cock directly into her pussy. She cries out, hands clawing at the sheets. He lets out a low groan as he bottoms out inside her.
βFuck,β he breathes. Itβs like her pussy was made for him, the way her walls adjust so perfectly to his length, clenching around him just right, forcing him in deeper.
He fists a hand in her hair and starts pounding into her. The sound of his hips slapping against her ass fills the room, but his ears zone in on her moans and whimpers and pleas to fuck her harder.
βSo needy for me,β he chuckles darkly. βMy perfect needy slut.β
His fingers tighten in her hair, pulling her head slightly off the bed. His other hand grips her hip, keeping her steady while he fucks her senseless.
βHarry, Iβm going to come. Iβ Pleaseββ
βCome for me, baby.β
And she does, the orgasm turning her into a quivering mess beneath him. But heβs determined to coax a second one out of her, so he doesnβt slow down, only thrusting in deeper and harder, grinding his hips against her ass. She screams out as she comes a second time. He joins in now, letting the elation consume him as he lets go inside her.
Theyβre still for a moment, their breathing gradually slowing in tandem. Then he helps her stand back up on shaky legs, gathering her into his arms, praising how well she did for him.
βLove you. I love you,β she murmurs into his chest.
He kisses the top of her head. βI love you too.β
He finally takes off his clothes, leaving them both naked. They decide to take a warm shower before bed, scrubbing each other clean and deliriously giggling over nothing. Soon, theyβre curled up in bed, limbs tangled, drifting off together.
***
The next few days are quiet, peaceful. They have a lazy weekend, going outside only to stroll through the neighbourhood and admire the changing colours of the leaves. Y/N notices that Harry seems different. He pauses before doing things for her, asks instead of assuming. Itβs not perfectβshe still has to talk him out of driving back to the Thai place when they forget to add the guava candy she loves into their takeout bagsβbut she realizes heβs trying.
That Friday, she arrives at the clinic for another day of back-to-back sessions, though there are a couple clients sheβs really looking forward to seeing. She tries not to grow attached, of course, but sheβs human and it happens sometimes.
Sheβs taking off her coat in her office when she hears someone in the waiting room. Itβs a tall blonde woman who appears to be in her early twenties with thick eyeliner around her large brown eyes. Y/N doesnβt think her eyes could possibly be any bigger until they widen at the sight of her.
βY/N! It is so nice to meet you. Iβm really looking forward to working together.β The woman holds out a hand for her to shake, but Y/N just squints at her, trying to figure out who this person is and how she knows her name.
βIβm so sorry, but who are you?β she finally asks.
βUh, Vanessa? Your new receptionist?β She eventually retracts her untouched hand, clutching the strap of her bag instead.
Y/Nβs frown deepens. βMy newβ¦ receptionist?β
She nods. βHarry hired me. I used to work for his foundation. He said you had a position open and asked if Iβd be interested.β
βHuh.β She canβt help the way her facial expression contorts into an irritated glare.
βShould I just set up over there?β Vanessa points to the front desk. βOr maybe thereβs paperwork to do first? I already got the background check, as Harry requested. I also have theββ
Y/N has zoned out at this point. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she feels guilty for being impolite to this poor stranger, but the guilt is drowned out by her exasperation with Harry. She has half a mind to pull out her phone and call him up right now to ask why he thought hiring a whole employee for her clinic (hers!) without discussing it with her first was a good idea, but she has a session in a few minutes and she needs to maintain composure.
She ends up leaving Vanessa with some basic tasks of cleaning and organizing the back room, which Harry had mostly done weeks ago, but she canβt think of much else on the spot and she doesnβt exactly have time to train Vanessa on anything.
Compartmentalizing her feelings about the situation carries her through the day. She sends Vanessa home well before 5 p.m., waving off her concerns about βnot getting much done today.β Although she has several session notes to complete, she decides to put it off and head out early for once. It happens that she pulls into Harryβs driveway right as heβs getting out of his own car.
He automatically smiles when he sees her, walking around his car to greet her.
βYou got me a receptionist?β she says, stopping him in his tracks a few feet away.
He tilts his head to the side. βVanessa? Yeah, sheβs great! She worked for the foundation a while back. I thought Iβd pay her for a month, and you can see what you think. I think youβll like her though.β
βHarry, you canβt just hire a receptionist for my clinic without talking to me first.β
His smile falters. βWell, I thought youβd say no.β
βExactly!β She splays her hands up in the air before letting them drop by her sides. βIf you had talked to me, I wouldβve told you that I donβt want this.β
βY/N, you work twelve-hour daysββ
βMore like ten.β
ββAnd itβs because youβre doing it all on your own. You shouldnβt have to deal with all the scheduling, billing, and insurance on top of seeing clients.β
βYou donβt get to make that decision for me.β
He just stares at her wordlessly.
βYou keep deciding what I need before I even get the chance to tell you!β She can feel her voice going up an octave and pauses to take a breath. βThis is my clinic. I get to decide who works there. You know how I felt walking in there this morning? It felt like I wasnβt the owner anymore.β
His brows pinch together. βThatβs notβ I was just trying to help, lovie.β
βBut this isnβt helping. I didnβt ask for this.β
βIβIβm sorry.β
He takes a step forward. She takes one back.
βI think I need some space,β she says, rubbing her forehead and averting her gaze.
βY/N, Iβm sorry. I overstepped.β Thereβs something in his voice that she isnβt used to hearing from him. Panic? Fear?
βYouβre suffocating me, Harry,β she says quietly, her own chest constricting at the words, but whatβs more painful is the look on his face as she says it. The way he deflates. βI need to be on my own for a bit.β
She gets back in her car and tries not to look at him as she pulls out of the driveway because she knows his sad eyes will make her tear up and sheβll be driving home blind.
***
For the next week, every time Y/Nβs phone buzzes with a notification, she expects it to be him. But it never is. He has been respecting her request for space. She canβt say she doesnβt miss him though. She misses him when she wakes up alone, when she gets in her car, when she goes home to her empty apartment, which was once just fine.
But intermingled with all the longing is her lingering frustration with him. She canβt get past how he thinks itβs okay to decide whatβs best for her without even consulting her, and sheβs reminded of that every time she sees Vanessa behind the front desk, who she still hasnβt fired because it doesnβt seem fair to let the poor girl get caught up in her and Harryβs quarrel.
At first, the protectiveness just looked like love, but it has since turned into something elseβa threat to her autonomyβand she canβt have that. She rebuilt this clinic from the ground up after Mark burnt it all down. That wouldnβt have been possible if she wasnβt competent and capable all on her own.
When she goes to Poppyβs place for a group hangout that weekend, sheβs already not feeling her best. She sits in her car for five minutes, staring out the windshield with a dazed look, before heading inside. Itβs their usual dynamic at first, everyone talking over each other, not letting anyone finish a thought before moving on to the next, voices getting louder with each minute. Y/N gets interrupted five times, mostly by Poppy, and it grates on her nerves more than ever before.
βCanβt believe Cindy bailed,β Poppy says.
βDid she say why?β asks Jamal.
βJust that she has some work thing again.β She rolls her eyes, pursing her lips. βYou know, I donβt even think her job is as demanding as she makes it seem. Sheβs in marketing, for fuckβs sake.β
βPeople are allowed to cancel on plans, Poppy,β Y/N interjects.
Everyone turns to her, like she spoke for the first time that day.
βOkay, Y/N. That was rude,β says Poppy.
Y/N narrows her eyes. βWhat?β
βThat sounded so judgmental.β
The irony feels like a slap in Y/Nβs face. All Poppy does is judge other people, from complete strangers to dear friends. For her to accuse anyone else of being judgmental is so absurd that it makes Y/N laugh out loud.
βIt kind of did,β Jamal agrees, making Y/N even more bewildered.
Sara just looks away, quietly sipping her beer.
βAnyway,β Poppy says, changing the topic.
The interaction leaves Y/N fuming in her corner of the couch. Her face is hot. Angry, exhausted tears prick the backs of her eyes, but she holds them in. She contributes nothing to the conversation after that, not that anyone notices sheβs acting any different. They donβt know her. They never have.
At some point, theyβre talking about renting out a cottage for the holidays.
βY/N, you should ask your sugar daddy to rent one out for us,β says Poppy in that annoying singsong voice of hers. The condescension masked behind a thin veil of hospitality.
βIβm not doing that,β Y/N snaps.
βWhy not? All you have to do is bat your eyes and heβll open his wallet.β
βFuck off, Poppy. Like, seriously, fuck off.β
Everyoneβs eyes widen. The silence in the room is palpable.
βI was just kidding, Y/N.β Poppy laughs nervously, shifting in her seat. βYou know I was just kidding.β
βNo. Iβm tired of your little jabs and jokes that arenβt funny to anyone but you. Iβm done.β
She stands up and walks straight out the door, not looking back. As soon as she gets in her car, she takes out her phone and pulls up her text conversation with Cindy. Her fingers tremble as she types.
Y/N: I hate Poppy
Y/N: I hate all of them
Tossing her phone on the passenger seat, she starts her car and pulls onto the road. Her heart is racing. Her hands grip the steering wheel hard enough to mask the tremors. The adrenaline is the only thing keeping her tears at bay. For now.
Cindy calls two minutes later, her name popping up on the centre display. Y/N picks up.
βI hate them,β she states, voice dripping with venom.
βI know,β her friend replies.
βWhy did I ever think Iβd fit in with them, Cin?β She lets out a humourless laugh. βIβve never fit in. Not in high school. Not now.β
βOkay, thatβs not true. Youβve got me. Youβve got Harryββ
βHarry and I havenβt talked in a week.β Her voice breaks now, the adrenaline wearing off quickly with the mention of the man she loves, replaced simply by heartache.
βWhat happened?β
βHe keeps trying to fix things! He got me a receptionist for the clinic without talking to me first. He thinks heβs helping, but itβs becoming too much.β She wipes the tears streaming down her face now. βItβs overbearing.β
She vaguely mentioned to Cindy a couple weeks ago that Harryβs protectiveness was starting to overwhelm her, so none of this comes as a shock.
Cindy pauses before responding, βDo you think maybe thatβs justβ¦ his way of expressing his love? Like, he thinks he has to solve your problems and make your life easier to show he loves you, but to you, it comes across as overbearing?β
βThatβs probably it.β She sighs, pulling over to the side of the road because she definitely should not be driving when sheβs this worked up. βBut I donβt need him to do all that. I just need to know heβs there for me, not to swoop in at the first sign of danger but to trust that Iβm capable of handling things. Am I crazy to want that?β
βOf course not. You just need to tell him.β
She chews on that for a moment. Then her mind returns to her outburst from five minutes ago.
βWhat about Poppy and them?β
βFuck them,β Cindy says calmly. βYou donβt need that energy in your life.β
βI donβt want you to have to choose between me and them.β
βMeh. Iβve already been pulling away. Why do you think I wasnβt there tonight?β
Y/N releases a sigh of relief, feeling some of the tension in her shoulders loosen. βYouβre the best, Cin.β
She can hear the smile in her best friendβs voice as she responds, βYou deserve nothing less.β
***
Harry has had the worst week. As if Y/N not talking to him wasnβt bad enough, he fucked up his hip trying to help his elderly neighbours across the street lift their massive old dresser out of their house.
His hip has been weak for years. He injured it a few times while playing hockey and decided to push through until he literally couldnβt anymore, his body revolting against his decision in the form of debilitating hip pain. Surgery and physical therapy worked wonders, but they didnβt magically return his hip to its original condition.
This is his first flare-up in a while, but itβs a bad one. A deep ache runs along the front of his hip and groin area every time he stands up. Heβs been limping around the house. Getting comfortable in bed at night is damn near impossible, leaving him awake at odd hours.
He doesnβt mind the pain. He can handle pain. What he canβt handle is how slow it makes him. The mere task of walking from one part of the house to another takes twice as long. When he gets up from the couch, he has to wait a few seconds for the stiffness to subside before moving. Even putting on a pair of socks takes fucking forever.
Layer on his heartache about Y/N, and heβs downright miserable. He told himself he was helping. That he was making her life easier. But the truth is uglier than that. When he sees a problem, he has to fix it because he canβt stand feeling useless. Itβs the same thing that drove him to push through injuries and play through pain until his body gave out. The thing that made him start his foundation. His unrelenting need to fix.
But Y/N is a person. And he keeps treating her like a project. Countless times this week, he found himself staring at his phone, typing out a message to her, then deleting it.
Iβm sorry.
Please talk to me.
You donβt have to talk to me. Just tell me youβre okay?
I miss you.
I love you.
It takes everything in his power not to send those messages. She asked for space. Heβs going to give her space, dammit. Even if it kills him. Even if it makes this hip flare-up feel worse than it is.
The house has felt so cold and hollow and lifeless without her around. It used to feel lonely, living here all by himself, especially post-retirement. But he found his coping mechanismsβrunning, playing hockey recreationally with friends, foundation work. Now he can feel himself slipping back into that loneliness, but without the same coping mechanisms because his hip wonβt cooperate.
On the tenth dayβyes, heβs been countingβsince his fight with Y/N, heβs genuinely considering driving to her clinic and parking across the street just to catch a glimpse of her. Is it creepy? Yes. Has the past week driven him to insanity? Possibly.
Heβs on the couch with an ice pack attached to his hip, weighing the pros and cons of this foolish idea, when the doorbell rings. He groans. It must be his package. He ordered a new heating pad recently since his old one is over five years old.
He braces himself as he stands up, pausing to let his body adjust. Then he carefully walks to the door, ready to greet the delivery driver. But thatβs not who he finds.
βY/N?β
βHi.β She gives him a small smile. Sheβs dressed in a cozy sweater with black tights, her hair pulled up in a messy ponytail, a few strands falling loose around her face. God, he missed her.
βHey. Um, come in.β He steps aside, letting her in before shutting the door.
βI was hoping we could talk,β she says.
Fuck. Sheβs here to break up with him. Fuck.
He tries to ignore his heart plummeting in his chest and gestures towards the couch, letting her walk in front of him so he could limp behind her. But she notices. Of course she does. She notices the way he winces as he sits down next to her. She notices the ice packs. The painkillers.
βYou okay?β she asks, studying him to figure out whatβs wrong.
βYeah.β
She gives him a look.
βItβs my hip.β
Her brows furrow. βDid you get hurt?β
βItβs an old injury. From hockey. It just flared up recently when I was helping a neighbour move their dresser.β
βOh no. How bad is it?β
βNot terrible. Justβ¦ hard to do some things.β
βLike what?β
βUm, walking. Sitting. Sleeping.β
βSoβ¦ everything?β
He laughs softly. βPretty much.β
βHave you been resting?β
βYes. Mostly.β
Another look.
βI hate sitting around.β
Her gaze drops to his hip, where heβs now holding an ice pack. The frown is still there, etched between her brow. He doesnβt like her seeing him like this. Not because heβs ashamed of the pain, but because this version of himβweakened, slow, uselessβis so different from the way he views himself.
βI didnβt know you had hip problems,β she says quietly.
He shrugs. βI donβt like talking about it. Itβs why I retired.β
She nods, understanding.
βYou wanted to talk?β
βWe can do that later.β
βNo, itβs fine. We can do it now.β If sheβs here to break up with him, heβd rather just have her rip off the band-aid and leave him to wallow in his misery alone.
βOkayβ¦β She still seems hesitant, her gaze flicking from his hip to his eyes. βWell, Iβve been thinking a lot about why I was so angryβ¦ And part of it was because you werenβt wrong.β
He blinks a few times, trying to hide his surprise.
βIt has been a lot, trying to do everything myself. Especially with the amount of clients Iβm seeing. But the solution isnβt a receptionist. I need to reduce my caseload, restructure my schedule. Thatβs something I needed to decide for myself.β
He shifts on the couch, wincing when his hip protests. Y/N watches him unsurely.
βSorry. Continue,β he encourages.
βItβs not the first time something like this has happened. You do it a lot. Making decisions for me. I know youβre trying to help, but itβs starting to feel like I donβt have autonomy in this relationship.β
He forces himself to keep his mouth shut and listen rather than getting defensive. Heβs done plenty of reflecting of his own these past ten days, and something heβs realized is that his true intentions are not always translated through his actions.
βIβve seen clients have relationships like that. They donβt last. Even when they do, one person ends up resenting the other. I donβt want that for us.β
Sheβs silent then, giving him the floor.
βNeither do I,β he says. βI donβt know why Iβm like this. I donβt know why I feel the need toβ¦β
βFix things?β
He nods. βI donβt do it because I think youβre incapable or weak. Youβre the toughest person I know. I justβ¦β His eyes widen. βFuck, maybe I am controlling.β
She smiles sweetly and reaches for his hand. βYouβre not controlling, Harry. You just have a big heart, and you get carried away.β
He stares at their intertwined hands. βIβm scared I donβt know how to be any different. I like feeling needed.β
βYou are needed. But not in the way you think. You donβt need to save me. You donβt need to be βHarry the fixer.β You just need to beβ¦ Harry.β
For a moment, he imagines what that would look like. Not Harry the fixer. Just Harry. Not stepping in to save the day. Not anticipating every need before it arises. Not making every decision. Just being present, available, supportive.
βIβm sorry I took your choice away,β he says.
She scoots closer to hug him, but when the couch shifts with her weight, his hip screams at him. He winces. She freezes and stands up, leaning down to hug him instead.
βI feel like Iβm sixty years old,β he says, hugging her back, though not as tightly as he wouldβve liked to.
βTake solace in the fact that youβd make a sexy sixty-year-old.β
He laughs.
She straightens up. βOkay. What can I get for you? Water? Food? Have you eaten yet?β
βYou donβt have to do that.β
She places her hands on her hips. βYouβre not the only one that likes feeling needed.β
A slow smile spreads across his face. βI havenβt had lunch yet.β
βOn it. You stay right there.β She points at him with a stern look before disappearing into the kitchen.
He finally relaxes into the couch, soothed by the sound of her footsteps in the next room, opening and closing the fridge, rearranging pots and pans, humming softly while she works. And he smiles to himself.
***
It turns out Harry is just as bad, if not worse, at receiving help as Y/N. He tries to do everything himself, even though he can barely walk without being in pain.
βItβs not that bad,β heβll say, then proceed to demonstrate that it is, in fact, that bad.
Itβs actually somewhat amusing for Y/N because she realizes this is exactly how she sounds when she tries to pretend that everything is fine. Theyβre both shit at acting. At least around each other.
She helps him get comfortable in bed that night with a heating pad wrapped around his hip and an extra pillow under his leg. Then she gets under the covers on her side of the bed.
βYouβre so far away,β he whines, reaching for her.
βI donβt want to hurt you!β
βYou wonβt. Come here.β
She slides into his arms, placing her head on his chest. He lets out a content sigh. As they lie there, she remembers an important update she has yet to share with him.
βBy the way,β she says, βyouβll be happy to hear you were right about Poppy and them.β
βThat doesnβt make me happy at all, lovie. Are you okay?β
She nods and lifts her head to look at him. βI told Poppy to fuck off.β
A proud smirk tugs at his lips. βReally?β
βYeah.β
βHow do you feel about it?β His eyes search her face.
βRelievedβ¦ Sad.β
He kisses her forehead, gently stroking her hair. She rests her head back down.
βI always thought something was wrong with me,β she says. βHigh school. College. After college. Always feeling like the outsider.β
βYou know what I think?β
She smiles. βYouβre going to tell me anyway.β
βI think youβve been trying too hard to fit into places that werenβt made for you. I think when you find the right people, you wonβt even have to try. Because itβll feel easy and natural.β
βLike coming home.β
βExactly.β
βLike I feel with Cindyβ¦β She looks at him again. βLike I feel with you?β
He grins. βI would hope so.β
She kisses him on the lips, soft and tender.
When she pulls away, he says, βIβm sorry, but youβre going to have to help this old man take off this heating pad. Itβs getting way too hot.β
She chuckles, moving before he even finishes his sentence. βI got you.β
***
Itβs Y/Nβs last day at the clinic before she takes two weeks off for the holidays. Something she never wouldβve done in previous years.
βBut my clients need me!β sheβd argue when Cindy suggested she take some proper time off over Christmas.
But things are different now. The dangers of sacrificing her own needs for the benefit of others are so much clearer to her. The very real possibility of burnout, which she naively considered herself immune to, is also clearer to her. To put it simply, sheβs done with putting herself last on the priority list.
Now sheβs at her desk, about to shut down her work computer when her email pings. The subject line makes her smile before she even opens the email.
Subject: Thank you
Hi Y/N,
I wanted to let you know that I settled into a new apartment six months ago. My new job is going well, Iβve made a lot of friends there. I might actually be going on a first date this weekend. Iβm safe, happy, and hopeful. I wanted to thank you for helping me navigate my trauma and get to a better place in my life. I truly appreciate everything youβve done for me.
Happy holidays!
Sincerely,
Yasmin
Y/N is smiling from ear-to-ear by the second sentence and tearing up by the last one. Yasmin was a former client trapped in an abusive relationship. Together, over the span of two years, they formed a plan to help her leave safely and create a new life where she wasnβt constantly living in fear. To read that sheβs still thriving makes Y/N want to ugly cry happy tears. She keeps it together enough to type out a response, making sure Yasmin knows she did the work herself.
After hitting send, she shuts down her computer. Her phone buzzes.
H: Done for the day?
Y/N: Yeah, you?
H: Same. Iβm outside. Got you a little somethingβ¦
She hurries to make sure everything is in its place and all the lights are off before locking up. Harryβs car is parked directly in front of the clinic. Heβs dressed in a hockey jersey and jeans, his hair hidden under a black beanie, a hot drink in each hand. He looks up when she walks over, greeting him with a kiss.
βHot chocolate,β he says, holding out the cup in his left hand.
She caresses his cheek, tempted to squeeze it. βSweetest boyfriend over.β
He chuckles. As they get into his car, he asks, βSo. Are you ready to go to your first ever hockey game?β
Theyβve been watching several games this season on TV together. Y/N asks a lot of questionsβwhy do they fight so much, how is that allowed, why is the net open, where is the goalie?!βand Harry patiently answers each one. Itβs been a fun, enlightening introduction to his world. Now she gets to see it in person. Cindy and her new partner are also meeting them there.
βI am,β she answers. βThe real question is: are you ready to answer my stupid questions about the game every five minutes?β
He starts the car and backs out, his hand automatically resting on her thigh. βNo such thing as a stupid question, my love.β
βIβd beg to differ.β
On the way to the arena, they exchange updates about their day, everything from the mundane to the extraordinary. Y/N tells him about the thank you email. Harry tells her about the new donors he had lunch with. She notices how easy it is, how safe she feels. Safe, happy, and hopeful. Just like Yasmin.
For the first time in years, sheβs not waiting for something to go wrong. Sheβs just living.



















